Chapter Four: It's All In The News

I wake up the next morning at a normal hour. In fact, I am able to see my family before they leave for work and school.

"Jess, I hate to put you on childcare duty again, but do you mind watching Connor." Mom says "I think that he caught whatever it was that Brie had."

"I guess that I can do that." I say. I then remember that I have a doctor's appointment today. "Wait, I can't, I have a doctor's appointment at eleven."

"I didn't know that you had one." She says. "Is something wrong?"

"It's just a routine check up, nothing to worry about." I say.

"Ok, well do you mind getting someone to cover for you?" She asks.

"Yeah." I say. "I'll call grandma and see if she can watch him."

"Ok, that will be fine." She says. "I'm sorry that I needed you to watch him. I have a big case that I'm working on and can't really miss work right now."

"I understand." I say. I then walk off to call my grandma, I hope that she isn't busy. I don't really want to have to reschedule the appointment. Fortunately I am able to get in touch with her, and she says that she can watch Connor for me. In fact she said that she would watch him all day long, so that I can go do something fun. I appreciate her so much. After a little while, my family all leaves and I go get ready. I keep things simple, I pull my hair into a ponytail and put on a light amount of makeup. I then go and check on Connor, he's asleep so I leave him alone. I then walk downstairs and see that my grandma is here.

"Hey." I say as I open the door.

"Hey." She says. "So how are you?"

"I'm fine." I say.

"It stinks that you have to spend a beautiful day like today in the doctor's office." She says.

"It will be fine." I say. "Hopefully it won't take too long."

"And stay out as long as you want, I don't have anything to do today, and I want you to have a little bit of fun." She says.

"Thanks." I say. I then leave and head over to the hospital. When I walk into the office, I sign in and wait. Patience is something that I have little of, so I am secretly hoping that I won't have to wait too long. Waiting isn't something that I thoroughly enjoy doing. If I did, then that would be a different story. "Jessica Bolton." The nurse says as she walks into the room. I am so excited, even though I hate going to the doctors, I would much rather not have to wait in the waiting room. That isn't really any better.
I then walk into a room and they check all the normal things like height and weight. We then go into a room, and I am told to wait until the doctor comes in. I am a little nervous, but maybe everything will be alright.

"Hey, Jessica right?" The doctor says as she walks into the room.

"Yes." I say.

"Ok, so I was reviewing the lab reports and records from your doctor in California." She starts with. "Well, I have some good news. You don't have mono."

"Really, the doctor was almost 100% sure." I say. "I mean with the flu like symptoms, the fatigue and weight loss that's what it seemed to point to."

"Well, everything comes back negative for mono." She says. "I do on the other hand have my own assumptions."

"And what are they?" I ask.

"I don't know for certain, but I think that it might be leukemia." She says.

"Are you sure?" I ask.

"I'm not 100%, but with more blood work it can be determined." She says. "I know that this isn't what you were wanting to hear."

"Not at all." I say. "I was about to be alright with the fact that I had mono."

"I'm sorry." She says. "But if its any consolation, I could be wrong."

"I hope so." I say.

"Anyways, I know that you probably hate being poked with needles but we are going to need to get some of your blood." She says.

"Alright." I say.

After a little bit, I have been pricked and poked with a couple of needles. Then the doctor comes back into the room.
"I thought that you might want some information about leukemia, just in case its the worse case scenario." She says.

"Ok, thank you." I say. She then hands me a few pamphlets that tell all about leukemia. She then leaves the room. I then sit there I feel like my heart was ripped out. I can't bare this weight. It hurts knowing that I might have cancer. I don't know what to do. I don't want to scare anyone, but I don't want to keep it all to myself either. I then decide to head over to the school. My eyes show the tears that I have, because I'm scared. I try to clean up my face a little bit, and then walk inside. I go straight to my dad's office. He did the whole NBA thing for a short three seasons, but he decided that he needed to retire for good. Luckily, there was a spot open for him to coach at East High.

"Hey, what's up?" Dad asks.

"I have something that I need to tell you." I say.

"Ok." He says. I then sit down.

"So, for the past few months I have been feeling bad off and on. I thought at first that it was a cold, but it kept getting worse. I have been tired without doing anything. I thought, well maybe I'm anemic I went to the doctor and I wasn't. That lead to more and more tests. I then started noticing some bruising on my back, anyhow to make a long story short, I went to the doctor today thinking that I most likely had mono, since my doctor is California thought that it was, and the test came back negative." I say. "The bad part about all of this is this, the doctor thinks that I may possibly have leukemia." My dad just sits there for a second. He looks confused. I can also tell that he is trying not to cry.

"So, they don't know for sure?" He asks.

"No, I should be getting the results back soon." I say. "And if not, I have to come back on Monday and should get the results then."

"Have you told anyone?" He asks.

"No." I say. "I wasn't sure that it would be the best thing to do. I knew that I needed to tell someone, though."

"Ok." He says.

"And I don't want to tell anyone, I don't want to scare anyone just yet." I say.

"I completely understand, and don't worry I won't tell anyone." He says. "Not even your mom."

"Thank you." I say. "That really means a lot to me. I hated to even tell you, but I couldn't bare it all on my own."

"I'm glad that you told me." He says. "It isn't a good thing, but I want you to know that I will be here for you, no matter what." I just smile. Tears then start forming in my eyes. My dad then gets up from his desk and comes over and embraces me with a hug. We stay like this for a little while, until he gets a knock on his door.

"I probably need to go." I say.

"You don't have to." He says.

"I need to clear my head." I say.

"Ok, if you need anything call me." He says.

"I will." I say. I then walk out the door, I then almost run into the person standing at the door. "I'm so sorry."

"Jess?" Chris asks.

"I didn't know that you were here." I say.

"What are you doing here?" He asks.

"I came to talk to my dad." I say.

"Oh, well I was just about to do the same thing." He says.

"Well, I'm getting out of your way." I say.

"I am just meeting with him for a minute, maybe we could grab some coffee?" He asks.

"I need to get home, I'm supposed to be watching my little brother." I say.

"Oh, ok." He says. "I'll see you later, then?"

"Yeah." I say. I then walk off. I then go to my car and start crying. I can't hurt Chris. It isn't fair for him to be with me if I may be a ticking time bomb. Should I tell him? Should I tell him? I can't. I can't do it! I can't put him through the pain that I feel right now, he would freak out more than I am right now. I couldn't bare to put him through all of that, not right now anyways. Not when I don't know for certain, that would just be cruel. I guess that if I do indeed have cancer that I will tell him then.

I then go home, and go to my room. Luckily my grandma is still watching Connor. She ended up taking him back to her house. I then get into my bed and go to sleep. I'm hoping that this is just a horrible dream and that when I wake up I won't possibly have cancer. I wake up, and it is still the same as it was before. I guess I should start preparing myself for what could happen. I don't know how hard that it is going to be for me. I might take it better than I think I will. I guess I need to just live life as if nothing has happened, because nothing has happened yet. There is no reason to worry about it at all.