Alllll of the apologies, my friends. I am a full-time college student these days, with a Mon-Thu schedule that leaves me little time to think or breathe, let alone write. And that makes me very sad. Anyway, I made promises, and it's time to deliver. Enjoy. Share your thoughts. So on and so forth...
He could sense the oncoming storm well before the chime indicated there was someone at his door. He didn't have to check the security cam to know who stood outside.
"Anakin," he greeted his former Padawan smoothly. "So good of you to visit."
"Master," Anakin replied more carefully than usual, struggling not to betray the war raging within. Obi-Wan decided to allow him to keep up the pretense for a moment longer.
"Do come in," Obi-Wan welcomed him, stepping to the side and sweeping his arm around him in invitation. Anakin gave him a slight nod and stepped through the door. Obi-Wan tapped a button on the control, and it closed behind Anakin with a whoosh.
"Thirsty? Hungry? I was just finishing my dinner preparations," Obi-Wan explained congenially with a small smile. "I have plenty to spare."
The look Anakin pointed in his former Master's direction was simultaneously weary and unforbearing. "I have no appetite," he intoned plainly.
Obi-Wan unconsciously decided he wouldn't make this so simple for his old friend. It had been some time since Anakin had bothered to make contact, and even longer since he had shown up at his door step. Obi-Wan was hardly disgruntled about losing his place in the Jedi Order - in fact, it had turned out to be quite a relief. He didn't like playing General Kenobi, and he didn't particularly relish the responsibilities that inevitably came with being a member of the Council. As an outsider, he had much more time to relax and enjoy life in a way he never realized he could. He could make... friends. No, he could not hold these changes against Anakin. At first, he had been offended, hurt, and even angry. Those feelings quickly faded, and not because of his Jedi training. He soon came to realize that the Jedi Order must change if it were to keep balance in the Force. He still was called upon from time to time to offer his "expert" opinion or to serve as a diplomat when necessary. His earnings from such were enough to keep him living comfortably, perhaps not in the highest levels of Coruscant, but someplace respectable with very little crime.
No, his lack of position was not what had him disgruntled. It was the resulting loss of a dear friend.
"That's quite all right," Obi-Wan conceded. "I can put it to the side for later." He made his way to the kitchen to do just so. As he expected would happen, Anakin followed. "I've been trying to eat healthier, you know. No more flaming meatlump bombs at Dax's," he chuckled. "Hard to keep up with sparring practice when you've put on a little extra weight." He spared a sideways glance at Anakin. "Yes, I know what you're thinking, and yes, I do keep up with my sparring practice - quite regularly, in fact. There hasn't been much practical use of my skills as of late, but I still find it's quite imperative to be prepared for any change in circumstances at any given moment."
Obi-Wan busied himself with closing and replacing containers in the cooler unit, avoiding the very pointed stare Anakin had trained on him. He knew his friend was growing tired of this avoidance, but why give Anakin the satisfaction? He had some kind of nerve, waltzing in when trouble was brewing and expecting his former Master to pick up the pieces as he always had done. Obi-Wan was suddenly unsure of whether he actually wanted to know anything about the current problem. This storm in the Force that swirled around Anakin left the air in the room crackling with something like electricity. It was more than Obi-Wan had seen from Anakin in a very long time - never mind the fact that Obi-Wan hadn't even seen Anakin in a very long time.
"Master..." Anakin began cautiously.
"You're right, I'm probably over-thinking and assuming too much about my own importance, but-"
"Master..."
"-I like to think that I still am some use to the galaxy after all this time despite the fact-"
"Master..."
"-that I've been flying under the radar, so to speak, though I do quite enjoy my life these days-"
"MASTER." Anakin abruptly slammed his prosthetic fist on the counter in frustration, and a loud crack echoed through the room. Unperturbed, Obi-Wan gazed down at the countertop.
"I do believe you've left a hole in my counter, Anakin."
Anakin closed his eyes and took a deep breath, struggling to right himself. "I am sorry, Master."
"I wish you wouldn't call me that. It's been a long time since I've been anyone's Master. I am just plain Obi-Wan now."
Anakin's features molded into a hard, impatient glare. "Master, I need to speak with you. It's very important."
"I should think so, considering it's been many months since I last saw you," Obi-Wan replied pointedly, folding his arms in front of his chest.
Genuine remorse clouded Anakin's face for a moment, and he cast his eyes downward. "Yes... I know. I am very sorry for that, M... Obi-Wan."
They stood in silence for a moment, with only the light humming of the cooler unit penetrating the air. Anakin's eyes remained trained on some indistinct spot on the floor, while Obi-Wan's eyes remained trained on his troubled friend. Obi-Wan sighed heavily. "It's water under the bridge, Anakin. Let's have a seat in the main room, shall we?"
Moments later, each with a warm cup of Gatalentan tea, they settled themselves on separate form chairs. Obi-Wan watched with mild amusement at Anakin's expression as the chair molded itself to his shape.
"How did you manage to get these?" Anakin questioned in surprise.
Obi-Wan barely managed to hide his grin. "Diplomatic mission to Olanji. A certain Senator took a liking to me, and to show her great appreciation for my assistance in the conflict, she offered me this gift." Anakin's eyebrows raised in response to this news. "I gladly accepted," Obi-Wan added coolly, betraying nothing.
"Here I thought you were not a great fan of politics, or politicians, for that matter," Anakin demurred, sipping his tea.
Obi-Wan allowed a full-blown grin. "I make exceptions from time to time."
"Hmm," was Anakin's noncommittal response. A brief period of silence ensued, punctuated by a deep sigh from Anakin as he set his cup on the low table before him.
"Obi-Wan..." Master watched student carefully for a long moment, waiting for the student to decide how to proceed. "I've made a horrible mistake," Anakin admitted at last, hanging his head.
Obi-Wan could nearly hear the pounding of his former Padawan's heart as he began to admit the truth not only to his former Master but also to himself. The tension echoed from Anakin's shoulders and swelled and grew to fill the room.
"With Ayana," Anakin whispered.
The older Jedi reclined in his seat, stroking his beard thoughtfully. He realized he had known all along that it had to have come to this. Perhaps his avoidance was not so much a game of revenge but a reluctance to see yet another blinding fault in his beloved Padawan. He said nothing right away, for he couldn't seem to form any words.
"I... I didn't mean to," Anakin stammered, desperate to fill with excuses the silence he perceived to be judgment. "I, I don't know what happened... She lured me to her room-"
"Did she, Anakin?" Obi-Wan challenged him softly.
Anakin inhaled sharply, his indignance obvious. "Of course she did. How was I to know that..." His voice trailed away as he realized how transparent his many excuses truly were. "I didn't... I didn't..." Silent, burning tears of regret began to stream down his face. He looked up at his old friend - his brother - with a tortured, imploring expression. "I knew. I just didn't want to see. Padmé, she..." He swallowed hard. "She's shut me out. I don't know... I don't know what I did. I don't know what's wrong. She's shut everyone out. I can't... Obi-Wan, I have been so lonely, so frustrated, so... and Ayana..."
"Saw an opening?" Obi-Wan supplied.
"No," Anakin denied vehemently with a rough shake of his head. "I don't believe that. I can't believe this was orchestrated. It just... we have so much in common, and..."
"You ignored the warning signs," Obi-Wan surmised, idly twisting the facial hair above his lip.
"Obi-Wan, could you please just stop?" Anakin shouted, and Obi-Wan had to recognize that he was pushing his friend too near to the breaking point.
He took a deep breath and drew one hand down the length of his face. "All right. I'm sorry. Tell me what happened."
Anakin's shoulders sagged, and he leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees. "We do spend so much time together - but it's for the good of the Order. I have been busy trying to bring balance to the Force - is that not my destiny? Padmé is no better - she spends all her days at that blasted Senate building. And whenever she is home, she treats the children and I like an annoyance, an inconvenience. We..." He peered up at his old teacher apprehensively. "We haven't been... intimate..."
Obi-Wan sighed and rolled his eyes dramatically. "Anakin, I'm no prude. And anyway, you're married with three children."
"Right, right..." Anakin's eyes quickly returned to the floor. "I just mean that... Things are different than what they were. And I... I don't know how to deal with it. I don't know what to do. And I tried not to bring Ayana into it, but she knew. She could tell. She wanted to help - at least, I... I don't know. I don't know what she wanted. I don't know anything."
Obi-Wan studied Anakin carefully before answering. "You do know that you have made a terrible mistake. It no longer matters why or how it happened. It's too late to change the past." A sigh escaped him as he observed his friend's slumping shoulders and dejected gaze. "What matters is what you're going to do about it."
"What can I do?" Anakin cried helplessly. "Padmé will never forgive me."
Obi-Wan shook his head in disagreement. "You don't know that."
"I wouldn't forgive me," Anakin grumbled, playing with a loose string on his glove.
"Then let's be thankful that Padmé is obviously a better person than you, hmm?"
Anakin's eyes snapped to Obi-Wan's face, but when he saw his friend's warm smile, his expression softened. "Well, you are right about that," he agreed quietly.
"Of course I'm right. I usually am," he teased, earning a shake of the head from Anakin.
"Obi-Wan..." Anakin inhaled deeply, rubbing his face with both hands. "I can't face her."
"You can. You have to. She deserves to know."
"How could I tell her? What could I say? She will hate me."
"Rightfully so. But she will still love you, I am sure of it." Obi-Wan reached out to Anakin in the Force, with just a soft, comforting touch to calm and soothe him. Anxiety was of no use at this moment. He needed serenity now to help him navigate these choppy waters.
Anakin leaned back, eyes closed, and focused on controlling his breathing for several seconds. "I am glad you are so sure, Master." Obi-Wan decided not to correct him this time. "I wish I could be so certain," Anakin sighed sullenly.
"Anakin..." Obi-Wan waited until he had Anakin's full attention, until their eyes locked. "She needs you. Just as you need her. Perhaps you have both lost your way, somehow, but that happens sometimes. All you must do is retrace your steps. Remember what drew you to each other in the first place." He smiled wryly, remembering. "You nearly tore apart a galaxy to stay together. Surely that is worth something."
Anakin nodded slowly, deep in thought. "Yes, Master. You're right."
"Yes, we've established that," Obi-Wan joked gently. "Just be honest with her. And be patient. What you have to tell her... It will kill her. You know that. Just allow her to process this, no matter what it takes, no matter how long it takes. You owe her that."
Anakin nodded again. "Yes, Master," he echoed himself. "I will try."
Obi-Wan leaned forward, pulling at Anakin's attention with the Force this time. "Anakin... I know we have grown apart, but you are still my brother. I still love you dearly. I would do anything for you." He swallowed hard and pushed forward. "I need you to know that you can come to me, always. Nothing you confess could make me love you less. I consider you to be my best friend, despite..." He sighed. "Despite the recent distance."
A lone tear escaped Anakin's eye. "I am sorry, Obi-Wan. I couldn't face you. I felt that I let you down."
A genuine smile spread across Obi-Wan's face. "Oh, Anakin. No. I am so proud of you and the man - the Jedi - you are becoming. Things could have ended so tragically. You saved the galaxy, and you are working hard to bring balance to the Force." He paused purposefully before going on. "Qui-Gon would have been so proud, as well. You are becoming what he knew you must become."
Anakin huffed doubtfully. "Even with all of this?" he challenged bitterly.
Obi-Wan shrugged and rubbed his hands together. "How else do you learn, Anakin?" He leaned back in his chair, a glimmer in his eye. "No. Anakin, you will go on to do great things. I know it. The galaxy is not done with you yet. And neither is Padmé."
"Yes," Anakin said, staring down at his hands, "we will see."
How's that for your daily dose of OBK? I hope it was worth the wait. (Catch the song lyric? Couldn't help it. I love that song, seemed fitting for this situation.) Obviously, we aren't done yet. I'll try to be more faithful in my updates. R&R, thnx!
