I'm so sorry for the long wait on this, guys! I've been working seven days a week, dealing with an illness for two weeks, and have still been trying to keep up with a social life. Writing had to take a back burner, unfortunately.
Anyway, thanks for being so patient, and here's the next installment!
"If you could only see the beast you made of me
I've held it in, but now it seems you set it running free
The saints can't help me now, the ropes have been unbound…."
-Howl by Florence and the Machine
Something was different.
Mai had returned from her vacation, which hadn't been all that relaxing. She'd been visiting distant family, and that was always…boring. Dreadfully boring, and a little emotionally taxing. She'd been rather excited about returning to the capital city, and to Zuko.
Oh, she had missed Zuko, very much.
But something was off. She'd noticed it the second she saw Zuko when she returned. It wasn't anything she could place; maybe something in his eyes? Like something was hidden behind them, and his smile wasn't as genuine as she remembered.
Mai brushed it off as best she could; it was probably just the time she'd spent away from him, and some odd paranoia.
But when she kissed him, there was that same weird thing. Well, not the same. This was different, not so hidden. Kisses with Zuko were normally sweet and chaste, or filled with a yearning Zuko only just barely managed to contain. She'd loved that, knowing Zuko only just managed to keep himself under control around her; it was like standing on the edge of something a little dangerous.
But now, his lips would crush against hers, the urgency no longer held back. It was as if he were trying to pull the desire up out of her and, in all honesty, it kind of scared Mai. She wasn't comfortable with that, with how his hands would roam aggressively over her; she'd gasped out of surprise once, and that only seemed to urge Zuko on further and harder. Mai was never one for overly aggressive acts of passion. She preferred the smaller gestures, smaller motions that were sweeter and filled to the brim with emotion.
And that wasn't where it all ended. No, Mai heard things. Mostly they were quick bits she heard the servants gossiping about in hushed voices, but they always quickly shut up the moment they realized Mai was in the room. And it was always about one thing:
Zuko, and Katara.
Mai had known Katara had come to visit while she had gone to see family. It hadn't bothered her in the slightest before she left; Zuko and Katara were clearly just friends, just as Zuko was friends with Aang, not to mention Katara was in a relationship with the Avatar.
That didn't stop the servants from whispering, and every time Mai heard a bit of it here and there, she felt sick. There was no way it could have happened, that Zuko and Katara could have ever-
No. It was simply an impossibility that Zuko would cheat on her. They were in love, and had been for years.
Mai couldn't help but wonder, though.
Zuko knew there was a slight…awkwardness between him and Mai, but felt that overall, he was doing an excellent job of covering up all that he'd done with Katara. He was affectionate with Mai, not shying away out of guilt.
But there was a stiffness from Mai, one that he wasn't sure had just recently developed, or if it had been there all along and he'd failed to notice. She wasn't so pliable in his hands, didn't react as openly or heatedly as Katara had; sometimes, she seemed…uncomfortable.
Not so uncomfortable that Zuko asked about it. But…enough for him to notice, from time to time.
But he brushed it off. He loved Mai; he really did. He'd forgotten, with Katara around, providing an ever alluring distraction, how much he loved and cared for Mai, and was very grateful that Katara had chosen not to stay with him. It would have destroyed all he had with Mai; the love and tenderness between them, a pairing that was approved of by all of the Fire Nation, and her strange and very dry sense of humor that he'd grown to love.
Zuko would never give that up, ever.
….Even if the sex was nothing in comparison to how it was with Katara. There was passion, yes, but not as prominent as it was with Katara, how Katara bucked against him, and fought for dominance, and left him literally panting for more from her.
Just thinking about sex with Katara was enough to get his blood flowing, and normally, he'd need to meditate quietly on his own, to calm down.
But then it happened one evening, after a light dinner with Mai, and Zuko hadn't been able to help himself. Things quickly became heated between him and Mai, and it wasn't long before they found themselves in the royal bed chamber.
The only place Zuko wanted to be at the moment.
As always, Mai wasn't responding the way Zuko wanted, but it was still Mai, his lovely, beautiful Mai. And she was still wonderful, just different, and if he closed his eyes, and though back, he could pretend this was-
"Katara!"
The gasp slipped between his lips without him even realizing it, and he continued on, thrusting hard, not aware of the grave error he'd made.
But Mai had heard it; without a doubt she'd heard it, and had gone deathly still beneath Zuko for a second, before bracing her hands against his chest and forcing him up.
"What?" Zuko asked, utterly confused, and his confusion grew as she shoved him completely off of her, and eased out from underneath him, sitting up. "What's wrong?"
"Oh, you don't know?" Mai was pulling the silk sheets up, to cover herself, and Zuko was frantically trying to figure out what on earth it was he'd done to offend her so.
He shifted closer to her, his brown furrowed. "Did I hurt you?" he asked, actually a little scared that was what had happened. He placed a hand on her shoulder, and she flinched away.
That was an incredibly bad reaction, if Zuko had ever seen one.
"You said her name," Mai said, carefully avoiding Zuko's gaze. "Katara."
Zuko's eyes widened. "I-I did? Are you sure-"
"Yes, I'm sure," Mai snapped back. "I heard you, Zuko."
"Well, I- I don't know why I would have said that, Mai…."
She didn't say anything in response, just sat quietly, biting her lip. Zuko found himself wondering if it would be a bigger mistake to touch her again, in a comforting manner, of course, or to not touch her.
"When I came back from visiting my family," Mai said slowly, "I noticed something was off with you. I didn't know what it was, I couldn't place it, and then I heard the servants gossiping. About Katara, and you."
Zuko felt his blood run cold. Oh, Agni, no. This wasn't happening. Mai wasn't putting it together-
But she was. Mai wasn't stupid. She was smart, and of course she'd figure it out. Just don't ask, Zuko silently pleaded. Don't ask, don't ask-
"Were you and Katara having an affair?"
Zuko swallowed, and became very aware of just how silent the room was as he tried to figure out how to answer that. Turns out, he didn't have to. Mai let out a high laugh after a few seconds, and shook her head.
"I should have known," she said. "I should have known, right from the start, with how you were acting, and what the servants were saying. But I didn't think you'd ever do this to me, Zuko-"
"It was a one time thing," Zuko said quickly, his heart pounding. "We didn't mean for it to get this far; we agreed to never speak of it again after she left."
Mai suddenly turned to look at him, and Zuko felt sick. She looked so angry and upset, her eyes brimming with tears; he was vividly reminded of how, years back, he'd been forced to lock her in a cell at the Boiling Rock so he could escape with Sokka. This was the very same look she'd given him through the small window of the cell door, and just as it had then; it tore at his heart strings.
And just like back then, Zuko knew there was nothing he could do to comfort her, no matter how much he wanted to.
"Does that make it any better, Zuko?" Mai demanded. "Hiding it from me, that you and Katara-" She couldn't finish the sentence, and only glared at Zuko.
"No," Zuko said quickly. "No, it doesn't. I know it doesn't. But we just thought it would be best if no one found out; that we'd never do it again, and no one would know. I'm- I'm so sorry Mai." He tried to put a hand on her shoulder again, but she moved away, stepping off the bed.
She was holding back tears, and Zuko felt lost, and vile. He'd done this; he was putting Mai through this turmoil, more pain than she'd ever felt in her life. And, the worst part, was there was nothing he could do to comfort her.
"So Avatar Aang doesn't know," Mai asked, sniffling a little as she gathered her clothing.
Zuko shook his head. "No," he said simply.
"I see."
He remained silent as Mai started to get dressed, but couldn't hold back forever. "Don't go, Mai. I'm sorry; I never wanted it to happen-"
"And I'm sure you did a lot to avoid fucking her," Mai snapped back, rushing through all the buttons she had to fasten.
"I'm sorry." It was all he could say. "Please, don't go- I'll explain everything-"
"No," Mai said sharply, cutting him off. "I don't want an explanation. I don't want to hear anything more about this, and I don't want to see you." She paused, taking in a ragged breath. "We're over, Zuko. I can't- I never want to see you again."
Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Next chapter: Aang and Katara!
Please leave constructive criticisms.
