All That I've Got

Written by Ryou AKA Hikaru

Pairings: Sasori x Deidara, Izaki x OC (OC x OC), Itachi x Izaki (Itachi x OC), Pein x Konan

Warnings: Yaoi, Yuri, violence, graphic blood, romance, strong language, and some disturbing mental images along the way. Rating may be changed as the story goes.

Copyright: I do not own Naruto or the Akatsuki organization. I do take copyright for Izaki Mukura and Nitsuki Misuru. This is purely for my, and the reader's, amusement.

- - -

"Izaki," a terse voice snapped. Izaki turned her head away from Nitsuki to face Sasori. Fear darkened her eyes for only a second before she stood and headed for the door.

"I need to be alone." She barely managed to pass through the doorframe before Sasori's arm lashed out and caught her wrist.

"Let's talk, shall we?" With that he pulled her along outside of the Akatsuki lair. The crisp early morning air hit Izaki's face but she could care less at the moment. Sasori brought her all the way out to the middle of the forest where no one could hear anything they said. Izaki looked up at the sky, counting the clouds slowly in her head.

"What do you want now, Sasori?" she asked in a cold voice. The red-head regarded her through guarded mahogany eyes.

"I was going to ask you what I should do about Deidara since life is so complicated like that. But then I walk in on you kissing the girl you seemingly hated and are supposed to train," Sasori muttered. Izaki scowled at the sky, cursing Sasori in her head.

"It was one kiss." Her voice didn't hold the same authority as she usually had when she spoke. Izaki knew she sounded weak and arguing with Sasori was futile.

"You're telling me it meant nothing to you when I can clearly read through your façade. Stop lying to yourself and to me. It doesn't do anyone any good," Sasori retorted. Izaki dropped her gaze to the tips of the thick pine trees around her.

"I didn't think it would go that far."

"You can read her thoughts. You can read actions just as well as I can. You of all people should've known what was going to happen," Sasori argued with a steely note in his voice.

"Are you patronizing me, Akasuna no Sasori?!" Her voice was rising dangerously. Sasori quietly stared at her for a moment.

"Well…possibly..."

"I thought you wanted to talk to me about Deidara, not about my life and the way I should be living it."

"Fine, fine…yes…I did…slightly." Sasori finally admitted in a soft voice.

"What do you need, then?" Izaki mumbled as her eyes flitted momentarily to his face. The red-head's face was stony and expressionless but lingering in the depths of his eyes was the slightest hint of guilt. But that couldn't be right. She shook the thought off. Sasori was probably just exhausted from working on his puppets the previous night.

"What should I do?" His voice almost startled her as she stared at the grass near his feet.

"Hmm?"

"Why does he love me when I hurt him…?"

"I can't answer that," Izaki sighed as she glanced around her.

"…why does anyone love me--why should they…" Izaki was momentarily stunned before she managed a slow reply.

"Oh, well, shit…" Izaki muttered. She turned to face Sasori and sat on the ground carefully. "Okay…" She paused before speaking slowly. "I don't…know. I can't really tell you why. You'd have to talk to him yourself, you know. I'm not all that good at figuring out reasons for love. Nobody has ever figured it out, actually."

"Talking about feelings isn't a strong point for me, Izaki," Sasori reminded her curtly.

"It's not mine either." Izaki had her gaze on the forest floor at the beginning of their conversation but deliberately brought her eyes up. "I know that I'm feeling something more than I should for Nitsuki at the moment. That's what I do know so far. So I finally have told myself this. As much as I try to deny and resent it, it's there and it won't go away…"

"Would Deidara even listen if I tried talking to him about this? I doubt it. He probably sees me as cold and emotionless," Sasori mused.

"Well, besides the fact you yell at him and snap at him all the time and hurt him physically and emotionally—"

"I thought you were going to help me…"

"—he does like you because I talked to him last night," Izaki finished with a tiny smile. "I shouldn't tell you that but, hell, it's your life now and how you choose to continue on with it. Just don't scare him when you try to talk to him. Bring it up gently. But then again…you are who you are." Sasori nodded absently as a vague smile fluttered across his stoic features.

"Arigato, Izaki…"

"Just find me later if you need me."

"…I highly doubt another time like this will come…"

"Right, well, I hate you too."

"…thanks…"

"Anytime, Sasori, anytime…" Izaki responded with a brief smile. "Well, if you're not going to criticize me on my relationship matters any more, I'm going to go." She stood and brushed off her cloak.

"Actually, Izaki, I am. Dammit, Izaki, if you have to kill her, what in the name of hell will you do?" Sasori suddenly snapped.

"I have no clue. I intend to try my best to help her so it doesn't come to that…" Izaki answered with exasperation heavy in her voice.

"You know it's utterly hopeless, right?"

"…I'll bear that in mind…" Izaki replied smoothly. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go help Nitsuki train." With that, she stood and left. Sasori's footsteps followed several moments after hers. Slowly, Izaki breathed in and out. There was nothing more that she wanted than to figure out what was bringing on all of this so…suddenly…

Halfway back to base she was greeted by the sight of Nitsuki sitting on a rock. She seemed to be crying as Izaki slowly approached her. Carefully, Izaki made her footsteps light so she wouldn't startle Nitsuki. Without a word she crouched down next to the girl.

"What's wrong, Nitsuki?" Izaki asked in a soft voice. The orange-haired girl looked up in surprise. When she saw the black-haired girl she started to cry harder.

"…I…" was all Nitsuki managed to cry out as she continued to sob. Izaki was close to speechless at this point. Never before had she dealt with a hysterical person before. Biting her lip she gently placed one hand Nitsuki's shoulder.

"Shh…it's alright…" she whispered as she rubbed small circles with her fingers into Nitsuki's shoulder, slowly moving onto her back.

"I…zaki…" cried the girl. "I…I…ca…n'…t…" Izaki let out a sigh as she continued to attempt to sooth the girl.

"It's alright, Nitsuki…breathe…gently…" she murmured. Slowly Nitsuki's sobs reduced into sniffles as she calmed down considerably. Gradually she was taking in normal breaths.

"I'm…sorry…" Nitsuki apologized.

"It's nothing to be sorry for, Nitsuki. What's wrong, though?" Nitsuki turned her head away from Izaki, trying to hide the embarrassment coming over her face.

"I…well…" She seemed to hesitate. "I thought…you know…you hated me and that's why you left and that you didn't really feel…the same…" Izaki squeezed her eyes shut and tried to pull together the defenses that kept the thoughts of others out.

"Nitsuki…I shouldn't… I shouldn't feel the same. And I don't know if I can let myself, either." She stood and started to walk away with her eyes on the ground.

"Wait!" Izaki hesitated where she was.

"What do you want?"

"I want…to live…and…and…I…" Nitsuki's voice seemed to break as she swallowed hard. "I want to know if it's ever possible for you to love me."

"Don't you ever ask that of me, Nitsuki. It's not right. I must continue to be the kunoichi that I am. I cannot…and shouldn't…waste my time with my own personal needs," Izaki retorted coldly. Nitsuki's eyes clouded at her harsh words.

"Please, Izaki…" The girl shook her head and started to back away like before. Her movements were hesitant as if she wasn't sure she was making the right move.

"I cannot. And if you do not wish to die at the end of the week then I suggest we train in a bit when my mind is a bit clearer than now," Izaki told her in a stern voice. Out of nowhere a blonde blur came flying into the clearing they were in.

"Sorry, Sasori-danna, un! I said I was sorry, yea!" Deidara shouted over his shoulder as he continued to scamper away. Izaki was too startled to move anywhere and thus ended up being bowled over by the explosives artist.

"I swear to you that if you do not get off me this instant I will literally snap your neck," Izaki spat, her tone complete drenched in hate. Nitsuki was looking onto the scene completely stunned. Izaki was on the ground underneath Deidara while the blonde himself was bracing himself by his arms straddling her waist.

"Oh, shit, sorry, yea…" Deidara mumbled.

"Then do something about it." The sound of Sasori's joints clicking entered the scene. Abruptly, the fast-paced clicks stopped to replaced by a foot tapping against the soft earth.

"Well this is slightly unexpected," a bored voice droned. Deidara hurriedly scrambled off of Izaki who hauled herself up without even batting an eyelash. She brushed herself off before starting to walk away. Before she even walked ten steps, she paused.

"I blame you, Sasori. You were chasing the damn idiot when he ran into me," Izaki called over her shoulder.

"Hn. Well, you should've moved." Izaki proceeded to flip off Sasori as she disappeared from the clearing. Nitsuki swallowed hard, complete stunned by the sudden turn of events. Sasori turned his burning gaze onto Deidara.

"…un…" Deidara stammered.

"Do not ever, and I mean never, blow up my shit again," Sasori snapped at the blonde. Deidara nodded dumbly before pursing his lips together slightly and looking away from the puppet master.

"…I'm sorry, yea…" The blonde left the clearing after those words left his lips in a sweet, soft breath of air. Nitsuki and Sasori were left alone in the clearing. The orange-haired girl turned to the red-head, not even daring to meet his eyes.

"Uhm…does Izaki…really…" Nitsuki swallowed before continuing, her throat suddenly extremely dry. "I mean, does Izaki…" She let out a long sigh. "What's the deal with Izaki and her view of love…?" Sasori sucked in a sharp breath of air.

"Izaki believes love is pointless and gets in the way of success. A bit like me in that way, I guess. She avoids human contact as much as possible. When she ends up in situations like she just did with Deidara, she tends to get defensive and threatening. It's simply to cover the fact she doesn't trust anyone to touch her in a romantic way," Sasori explained in a quiet voice. "The rest of the story is hers to tell if she so pleases. It's not my place to say."

"Arigato…" Nitsuki stood and trailed back towards the Akatsuki hideout. It was only halfway there she heard two voices conversing in low tones. Crouching down in a nearby bush she paused to listen. Sasori was heading back as well when he saw Nitsuki and heard the voices. Raising an eyebrow slightly he crouched next to her while masking his chakra.

"It sounds like Izaki and Orochimaru," Sasori commented in a very subdued voice. Nitsuki resisted the urge to jump a foot in the air and scream. Turning she saw Sasori next to her.

"…wow…" Returning her attention back to the conversation occurring in the clearing she listened intently and peeked through the bushes. Izaki stood facing the snow-white Sannin with a scowl set deeply into her features.