Diary: True Confessions
Chapter Four
Chiharu's Secret


Date: 14 of April
Spring

Dear Diary,

Oh my gosh! First of all, I want to say something like "SORRY!" to you, as I haven't written in you since last fortnight. Am I feeling guilty, or what?

You wouldn't believe what I'm about to say! Rika-chan's coming back! Isn't that amazing news? Sakura muttered something about Tereda-sensei (who, unfortunately, is still teaching us Math) when we got hold of the news. I mean, what the connection between Rika and Tereda-sensei? I don't understand. But I'm glad that Rika's coming back to Tomoeda. She'll make it on the day after the Spring Festival's debut.

Imagine! It's happening tomorrow! I'm apprehensive and eager, all at once. I can barely write, but I owe it to you, after all the secrets we've shared. How do you think it's going to turn out? I hope that it'll be okay, or to be exact, wonderfully romantic.

Fat hope.

But oh well, I'll update you when the Festival's over. Syaoran, of course, is going with Sakura, and Klara ended up with two different dates: Wilbert and Jason. It'd be interesting to see how she handles that, ne? Gilbert has asked me, but I'd refused. I'm still hoping, but Yamazaki-kun hasn't asked me yet. We're going together, but not as a date. Does that make sense? No, it doesn't. I wish he'd ask ...

Or should I take the initiative? I'm too confused and worried to write right now, I guess. I'd better go.


Date: 16 of April
Spring

Dear Diary,

I can barely bring myself to write, my hand's still shaking and my heart's thumping - hard.

I guess I should start with the Festival. After escorting me there, Yamazaki left me alone to look for Syaoran. 'Speak of the devil ... ' I'd thought when the man himself swept before me, with Sakura on his arm. Syaoran looked good. Hey, I like Yamazaki, but I know a good-looking man when I see one ... oh my Kami-sama, what am I saying? That wasn't me right now ... it'd be befitting for the past Chiharu to say that, but not me.

Anyway, I smiled and said, "Syaoran, Yamazaki's looking for you."

Syaoran gave me a half-smile and turned to Sakura, bowing low. "Excuse me, my lady," he said, a goofy smile on his lips. "Will you excuse me?"

Sakura chuckled. "Why yes, by all means." She jokingly turned her nose up in the air and shot Syaoran an imperious glare. "Get out of my sight, you filthy scum."

Syaoran cowered before her. "Yes, Madam," he grinned, and disappeared into the swirl of students.

Oh dear, I just realized that I forgot to tell you: It was early morning then, when the games and festivities are held. Then it was the dance, starting at 7.00 PM sharp and ending at 12 midnight, just like Cinderella.

"Sakura!" I gasped when I took a good look at her. "You look wonderful!" I wasn't just saying that because she was my best friend. It was true. She wore a kimono, made of a soft, pale pink in color. A silk sash, of a deeper shade of pink, adorned her waist, gathering the robes tight together and producing a breathless, sweet, earnestly young look. Amazing, considering what she has gone through. She somehow managed to look graceful while on wooden clogs. I totter forward rather clumsily when I'm on clogs, for your information.

"Thanks, Chiharu, you look beautiful yourself."

"Oh, but the surprises will be held in store tonight at the dance." A new voice joined the fray, with a hint of a drawl in it. I didn't even have to check the owner of the voice. Who else could it be?

Klara smiled as she came forward, clad, too, in a kimono of a striking purple - not of a very conventional color or pattern, I noted with a rueful grin. The sexy girl's kimono was drawn a tad too tightly around her waist, the material clung round her slender body more than it should, and the robes hung off her shoulders in a particularly enticing way. The blond hair should have clashed with the purple, as should the blue eyes, but somehow, it all melted together nicely.

Sakura raised an eyebrow. "Very tantalizing, eh Klara?" she asked sarcastically, with a trace of good humor in it. Jason was next to her, trying very hard not to drool. Oh no, there I go again - how sarcastic and biting can I get? That isn't me at all.

I think I've changed.

Oops. I'm off the topic. Back to the story.

"Yep," Klara flashed a dazzling smile and waved as she walked away. "Whoops!" I heard her cry as she pitched forward, causing a bemused Gilbert to catch her in his arms. "Thanks, Gil," I caught her whisper in his ear as she continued on her way with a green-eyed - not literally - Jason following her. Intentionally or noy, I couldn't tell.

"That's our Klara. Incorrigible." My pulse rate sped up as I heard Yamazaki's voice. The lean, tall figure stepped in front of me ...

Facing Sakura.

I felt the urge to jump up and down, waving my arms and going, "Yamazaki? Hello? I'm your cousin and I'm alive, too, you know." But I restrained myself, and left behind a confused Sakura, a sweatdropping Syaoran and a blathering Yamazaki.

I wandered the Festival. People came up to congratulate me on my success, but I'd tell them: "We'll see. The Festival's not over yet." and walk away. But it was a success - the morning part, at least. The breeze was fresh and cool against my skin, and the tiny flowers reaching for the sunlight sprinkled over the field cheered me up, a lot. When I toured the place at least four times, taking part in some contests and eventually winning a small keychain with a bird on it, signifying spring, it was time to close up shop. It was eleven then, and it had started at seven.

I left for home, after waiting twenty minutes for Yamazaki. I wondered where he could be ...

When I got home, I took a bath and fell asleep. When my dog Juji aroused me with a bark or two, it was only five, so I decided to indulge myself. I took a long bath that lasted for twenty minutes, soaked in warm water that eventually turned cold, lathering myself with sweet-smelling soap that gradually ran out. I got out, my hair wrapped in a towel, and began getting ready. This seemed to be important to me as, let's say, prom night. After all, I was one of the organizers, wasn't I?

At six-thirty, when I was preparing to leave - in fact, my hand was already on the doorknob - something made me draw back. Yamazaki. Did I look good enough for him? I quickly stepped in front of the dresser.

The make-up was skilfully put on - I hadn't outdone it. My silk dress, a pale yellow in color, hung down my body in gentle folds, held up by two thin straps of cloth. A shawl was draped in my arms, and I wore high heels that were almost hidden by my dress. My hair was arranged in a soft twist, strands falling lightly out of place.

There was something missing. I swiftly plastered a smile on my face. It looked fake ... way too fake. I allowed myself to rest, then tried smiling again. The smile was genuine now, and it lit my face up. There. That was what was missing. Grabbing a small, beaded handbag, and slinging it delicately on my wrist, I waltzed out of my room in a good mood.

When I got there, it was seven on the dot. I was one of the earliest - apparently, the phrase 'fashionably late' applied to most people. Just after I'd come in, Syaoran and Sakura did so too, making a grand entrance that was almost ruined by the scant handful of people scattered around. If there had been more people around, the impact would certainly be greater. Syaoran looked dashing in a tuxedo like a prince out of legend. The body that he'd developed while training helped matters, too. Sakura was in a modest pink dress that, no matter how hard she tried to hide it, showed off her curves to absolute perfection.

I waved at them and beckoned at them to come closer. They did so, and we stood around drinking punch and chattering away about how beautiful the place looked. And it did look good, even if I said so myself.

Yes, we'd gotten the permit. The trees were lit up with soft bulbs of mostly light green and yellow. They blinked on and off intermittently. However, there weren't much of bulbs - most of them were around the refreshments table so that people could see what they were eating. The place were mostly lit up with lanturns and candles, creating a mysterious look. Sakura stood under a candle (we were far away from the refreshments table - it was getting crowded, fast), and the pool of light threw a light like a halo over her. She looked shadowy and bright, mysterious yet open all at once. Speakers were hidden all around the shrubs and bushes. Other than that, the dancing floor - a clearing - was rather empty. The wilder, bolder crowd hadn't appeared yet.

I suppose being fashionably late's very important to them.

Speaking of wild, Klara came in at eight. Yes, our music manager, coming in an hour late! And oh boy, her dress showed ... I don't think I ought to describe it to you, but it showed a fair bit of flesh in the correct places so that she retained her dignity. She was next to Wilbert, who, like Jason could not take his eyes off her. Her hair was swept into an elegant bun at the nape of her neck. Hers was a grand entrance all right. The silence fell over the crowded place like a blanket at the daring dress and flaring sleeves and hem. The enchantress's hips swayed a little too seductively as she walked, her lashes blinked a tad too often, and her lips were just a bit too pouty. Wilbert looked ... well ... normal, next to her.

"Uh-oh," Klara grunted, close enough for me to hear. "Hey, Wilbert ... erm ... I see Allison! Yeah, I'll see you later," she finished quickly. Just at the moment when she disappeared into the darkness, Jason appeared, glaring at Wilbert. "Close shave," I heard her sigh.

I giggled, but my giggle was cut short at the touch of a hand on my arm. "Want to dance, Chiharu?" said a friendly voice. Before I could reply, Syaoran slipped a hand around my waist and hand, staying a respectful distance away. "Sure," I replied even as my feet began moving to the music.

I was shrieking with laughter as Syaoran twirled me out and spun me back in. I hadn't danced so wildly, like this, for ages! Precisely at that moment, when the song ended, Syaoran let go of me. "Thanks, Li-kun," I said. He flashed me a small smile and took Sakura's hand as they began swaying to the slow music. Sakura winked at me as I walked past. I saw Klara dash out looking frazzled. "You haven't seen Jason around, have you?" she hissed. I shook my head, but she'd already ran again, spying Jason coming through the crowd. I allowed myself a small smile. Klara was having trouble juggling the two.

My eyes were downcast as the music rang in my ears. It was one of my favourite songs: I knew the lyrics word-for-word. But somehow, I didn't feel like dancing. Of course, it didn't help that there was nobody who wanted to dance with me. I looked away as my eyes began to fill with tears of longing again. 'I'm turning into a mess,' I remember thinking.

A hand grabbed mine and I was swung out. That particular hand held mine tightly as another encircled my waist. I looked up to see who the inviter was and nearly gasped. "Yamazaki?" I asked dumbly as he stepped closer.

"Who else could it be, Chiharu-san?" he asked gently. I said nothing as he began moving to the beat. I did too, resisting the temptation no longer. We were silent until the song was over. I was in bliss then. Yamazaki had asked me to dance!

"Chiharu, come with me for a moment."

I followed Yamazaki as he led me into a bench hidden away under a tree. "Yes, Yamazaki-kun?"

"Remember this?" He held up a teddy bear.

I gasped again. "That's the bear I made you when we were eleven!"

Yamazaki smiled. "So you remember. Well, I made one for you back."

He reached under the bench again and handed me a gray teddy bear with marble eyes the exact shade of mine. Every stitch was lovingly sewed on; I could feel it. I'm fondling it now, and it is soft and furry.

"Thank you," I stuttered like a fool as I reached out for it with trembling hands. I heard strains of my absolute favourite song playing behind us - Dreaming of You by Selena. My mind flashed back to the outgoing, young Chiharu I once was, and how I had handed the bear to him meekly. "I thought you named the bear after your favourite snack?" I asked, rather bitterly.

Yamazaki ignored the anger. "I renamed it."

"What's the new name, then?"

"Chiharu."

"I ... " My voice trailed into silence as I held the bear close. Unexpectedly, Yamazaki inched closer. I stiffened.

Then the magic of the night interweaved itself into us.

Yamazaki grabbed my hand as if he had been gearing up for this all along. He pulled me forward and I followed willingly. He began circling slowly, as did I, dancing to the tinkling music that filtered through the trees to us. "You like this song, don't you, Chiharu?" I nodded mutely. "It's your favourite," he continued. I was flabbergasted. I had only mentioned that to him once, many years ago ... he still remembers? Impossible.

We were closer and closer as Selena's clear voice wove around us like a spell.

"'Cause I'm dreaming of you tonight,
Til tomorrow, I'll be holding you tight,
And there's no where in the world I'd rather be,
Than here in my room, dreaming about you and me ... "

Finally, I took the risk and rested my head on his chest, listening to his heart beat. I looked up hopefully and closer ... closer he came.

Oh, the sweetness of the moment! I can feel my lips tingle even as I think of it. "You know, Chiharu ... "

"I love you ... " he whispered as his lips hungrily sought mine out. I was in heaven then. I couldn't have thought that it would be better than that ... never did I dream of such a day. Above us, the full moon sent cold rays washing down, smiling benevolently down at us all.

Chiharu pauses and closes her book. She has written to the last page. She locks the diary with a small golden key, and slips it into her drawer carefully. It holds her past, and is very precious to her. Just as she shuts the drawer, the phone gives a shrill ring.

With a deft scoop, Chiharu picks the phone up. "Hello, Chiharu speaking," she says into the mouthpiece. "Yamazaki?" she asks as his voice greets her. "Yes," Yamazaki says. "Listen, Chiharu," he begins and stops. "Are you busy this Saturday?"

"Busy? No, I'm not." A smile creeps across her voice.

"Can you come for a movie with me, then?"


Author's Notes

Yay! Chiharu's Secret is finally over! The next part of the trilogy will be about another couple's that not very popular. Yes, I assure you that it won't concern either Syaoran or Sakura. I'm kinda sick of S + S fics now. I need a little break.

If you want to know what the next part of the trilogy will be about, read Chiharu's entry for the 14 of April. Check who she mentions in that entry. It's an old CCS character. Obvious now, huh?

Well, I was in a pretty good mood so I thought that I'd upload this a day after I'd just upload the third part … I'd won an essay-writing competition. //smiles//