A/N: I'm so sorry that it's been a while since my last update, but I'm still writing another story at the same time and then I started a new one that had been in my head for weeks and then 6x17 aired and I just HAD to write a post-ep for that BUT here is chapter 4..a difficult one for Beckett!


2x13 - Sucker Punch

"Castle?"

"Mmm?"

"I wanna go and see my mom."

Castle's eyes shot open and he twisted his head so that he could look at Beckett. They were led together in bed, Beckett curled into his side and his arm wrapped around her, keeping her close to him. The early morning sunshine was creeping through the window and the traffic was a steady hum below them, it seemed some people had places to be on this sunny Sunday morning.

"I- uh..okay?" He replied.

"I know it's not her anniversary or birthday or anything, but I was just thinking about how much has happened over the last few months and I feel like paying her a visit and saying hi if you know what I mean?"

"Of course. You just took me by surprise, that's all. I can call the car service if you like, have them take you?"

"Us. Take us."

"You want me to come with you?"

"Of course I do Castle, you're my husband, why wouldn't I want you to come?"

"Because I know how much those visits mean to you and the fact that you're thinking of making one out of the blue like this isn't something you normally do. I know how upsetting they are for you and I also know that you sit there and talk to your mom, tell her about your life and I've been with you a few times but I've always got the impression that you'd rather do it alone." He said. It wasn't that he minded going with her, in fact it was an honour for her to invite him, but he didn't want her to feel like she had to invite him. He wanted her to know that even though they were married, she didn't have to do everything with him.

"Yeah they do mean a lot to me but so do you, Castle." She said. "I've been selfish before, I've gone alone because I don't want to share her with anyone but I'm being ridiculous. She would have absolutely loved you and it's not fair for me to push you away when it comes to her, not after everything you've done for me."

"Kate, everything I have ever done has been because I want to, not because I felt like I had to. And I don't think you're being selfish by wanting to visit your mom alone, I can't imagine what it was like losing a parent at 19 and having to carry on with your life. If you want to visit your mom then that's fine, but please don't feel like you owe me anything."

"No, I want you there. I want us to talk to her together, like a family."

Castle didn't say anything, just hugged her tighter. His love for this woman knew no bounds and quite often when he thought he couldn't possibly love her anymore, she proved him wrong.

"So you'll come with me?" She asked.

"Of course I will, sweetheart." He said, kissing the top of her head. "What made you want to visit her now?"

"I was just thinking about how short life can be and I don't want to look back and think I should have visited her more. I know we don't have justice for her, not completely, but I know this could be the closest we ever get, and even if we don't ever get the person behind it, we know we got the man who actually killed her." She said and Castle felt her tears through his shirt where her head was nestled into his chest.

"Oh Kate.." He whispered, rubbing small circles on her back in a soothing motion. It wasn't often she broke down so he knew she must be really upset if she was crying and not locking herself away where he couldn't see. The day she had shot and killed Dick Coonan had been one of the best and worst days of his life.


Castle didn't know what to do. Both he and Kate were heading slowly towards the exit to the precinct with Dick Coonan right behind them with a loaded gun. He couldn't even formulate a plan that would actually work and no one would get hurt. They were trapped, they had been played by Coonan and they were about to let Beckett's mothers killer back out onto the streets of New York. There had to be another way out of this.

The next thing either of them knew was that it wasn't going to plan. Roy was stood in front of them, gun trained on Coonan.

"No. No! No! Sir! I need him alive." Beckett cried out, this was the closest she'd ever come to finding her mothers killer and although she was about to let him get away, she knew who she was looking for now and that gave her the tiniest bit of hope that she needed to set Dick Coonan free.

"That's right, you do need me. Now, back him off, or Castle dies."

Castle. Kate was terrified. Coonan currently had a gun pressed into Castle's back and she knew he wasn't scared to use it. If Montogmery shot, so did Coonan. There was no way she was letting him hurt Castle like that, no way. And it was in that moment that Kate knew he was the one. Until this very moment, her moms case had come first, bar nothing. She didn't let anything stand in her way of trying to solve the case and it was the top of her priorities - until now. At this moment in time, she'd drop everything and let Dick Coonan walk away scot free if it meant she could be with Castle for the rest of her life.

Coming back to reality, she tried to reason with her captain again. "Sir, back off. Please."

"You know I can't do that." Montgomery said, gun still raised and aimed at the spot where Coonan was holding Castle.

"Hey! You wanna learn who ordered the hit on your mommy, you better make sure I make it out of here."

The Kate Beckett 'before Richard Castle came back into her life' would have done everything she could to let him go in the hope of him giving her the name she needed. But the Kate Beckett 'in love with Richard Castle' just wanted him safe. She wasn't stupid, she knew the chances of Coonan giving up who was behind this were slim, but all she wanted was Castle back in her arms. She'd get the truth out of Coonan one day.

"Roy, please." She pleaded. And it seemed the use of his first name worked - he lowered his gun.

"That's it, Roy. Nice and easy." God he was a patronising jackass.

Castle took advantage of the fact that Coonan was momentarily distracted with Montgomery's actions and slammed his head into Coonans face, slipping away from him in the process.

Kate reacted instinctively - she saw the second Coonan raised his gun to shoot Castle and knew she had to be quicker. Pointing her gun in Coonans direction, she fired, her bullet hitting him in the chest.


"He deserved it." Kate said simply.

Jesus Christ she was extrordinary. "I know he did, Kate, but it meant waiting so much longer before we found out who was really behind it."

She just shrugged against him. "Doesn't really matter, not like we can touch him anyway." He was way too powerful for that. "And if you thought I was letting him hurt you then you didn't know me very well at all."

"But Kate, it was the guy who killed your mom. Over ten years you'd be looking for a lead like this and then the guy you wanted turned up and you were about to set him free!"

"Yes, because the alternative was living without you. I was desperate to catch my moms killer, I know. But at that moment, I realised how much you meant to me and nothing I did was going to bring my mom back so all I needed to do was keep you safe."

"That's really something I admire about you, you know. You have this incredible ability to forget everything that might have haloed in the past and deal with the here and now. You're pretty damn amazing."

"I couldn't have done any of it without you." She replied and he smiled. That was his wife, never one to take the praise on her own. "I'm glad I killed him, you know."

"Really? Even though it made the rest of your moms case so much harder?"

"Yeah. Because if he had been let back out onto the streets, god knows what he could have done. He killed his own brother for crying out loud, how much more heartless can you get? And I knew somehow, that having you around would make it so much easier to deal with."

"I love you." He whispered into her hair, and it took her back to when she first heard him say those three words.


Castle had run home to change and clean up, before heading back to the precinct to check on Beckett. When he walked in, she was reading something with a smile in her face. God how he loved it when she smiled..

Looking up, she realised he was there. "Montgomery's post-incident evaluation." She explained, "you come off like Steven Seagal."

"Should I be flattered or insulted?" He asked.

"Both."

He put the food he'd brought with him on her desk. "I didn't know what you felt like so I got Sushi, got some Italian, got some Thai. I even grabbed some hot dogs."

"It wasn't your fault, you know." She stated simply.

"I overstepped. I came down here to say that I'm sorry. And I'm through. I can't shadow you anymore. If it wasn't for me.."

"If it wasn't for you, I would've never found my mom's killer. And someday soon, I'm gonna find the sons of bitches who had Coonan kill her. And I'd like you around when I do. And if you tell anyone what I'm about to say, there's gonna be another shooting, but...I've gotten used to you pulling my pigtails. I have a hard job, Castle, and having you around makes it a little more fun."

"Your secret's safe with me." He said, before pausing.

"What?" Beckett said. "You look like you want to say something.."

"I love you."


Beckett let out a giggle at that particular memory.

"It's not funny!" Castle exclaimed. "I told you I loved you and you just passed me some cutlery so we could eat dinner! I didn't know if you'd heard me or if you were just planing your escape route!"

"I heard you, Castle, loud and clear. I just wasn't ready to tell you then..I don't know why, I mean, I was in love with you from the word go but there was something stopping me telling you at that point."

"It's okay, you told me eventually!" Castle said and Beckett smiled. "Now come on," he said, pushing her off of him, "we need to get showered and dressed. Don't wanna be late to see your mom now, do we!"

He climbed out of bed and walked into the bathroom with Kate smiling at his retreating form. He was perfect and she was the luckiest girl in the world.


A/N: I'm debating whether or not to do a chapter for The Mistress Always Spanks Twice so I'm leaving it up to you guys - do you want one for that episode or are you not too bothered? Please let me know and also let me know your thoughts on this chapter :)