"Look I know you said you didn't want to talk about it, but I am here if you want too ok?"
Yuri had gone over to JJ's cabin that night. They were back in the sitting room, a movie on, neither were watching. Yuri was flipping through social media, looking at the stupid pictures Abram had posted at the rink that morning. He even had a video of Otabek doing the footwork to the routine with a hashtag saying 'goals' tagged to it. He looked at Otabek, noticed he looked thinner, tired. His footwork was always mesmerizing to watch. JJ had leaned over, peaking at his screen.
"I think the only one who rivals his footwork is Yuuri." JJ said as they watched the video again. Yuri nodded. He could already feel the tightness creeping into his chest, he was biting his tongue to keep from crying. JJ saw his face and nose turning red and wrapped an arm around him. "Yuri, what happen? Maybe if you talk about it, it would help."
Yuri sobbed out and threw the phone across the room. He buries his head in JJ's shoulder sobbing out loud. He did not know if he was going to get through this. He couldn't see any way out, couldn't remember what truly being happy was like.
He was sobbing harder than he would have. JJ had wrapped his arms around him, holding him, just letting him cry. He couldn't talk, he was crying so hard and telling himself that Otabek did not deserve his tears. He knew this, in his head was true, but his heart told him another story. Clinging to JJ's shirt, he started to feel foolish. They were supposed to just watch a movie and relax, then he got on that idiot's social media page… then he saw Otabek. He had been ok when he could not see him at all. Watching him, seeing he had gotten thinner, his face looked sad, his eyes were blank. It tore at him. He could feel his heart shatter. That was his best friend, his lover, his Otabek.
Pulling back and sitting up, JJ handed him a tissue. He wiped his eyes and blew his nose. He felt foolish sitting there just crying. Over a stupid video at that. JJ had his hand on his upper back, rubbing him, trying to help calm him down. Yuri leaned back, and found he was cradled to the side of JJ, his arm around his shoulder.
"Yuri, you can talk if you want. It is ok." He heard JJ say quietly. Yuri shook his head. Knowing if he started talking he would be a sobbing mess again. JJ taking his other hand started to brush the strands of hair that had fallen in his face. Yuri really missed being touched. Even if just a hug. Otabek had pulled away from him after Abram came into the picture and he missed it. He leaned his head on JJ's shoulder.
"I'm… I'm sorry. I don't… know what came over me." he said quietly.
"It is ok. Don't apologize. You love him. If you weren't upset… I think I would worry. I was a mess after Isabella."
"How did you do it?" Yuri was still sniffling.
"Threw myself into skating… and I drank quite a bit."
Yuri groaned. "All Otabek has done the past few months is drink… I hated it. Then I would bitch… then he would drink more…" he started sniffling again. "It is all that stupid Abram's fault!"
"You mean… that kid he is coaching?"
"Da! Let that bastard have him now…" Yuri started to choke up again. He took a deep breath trying to keep from crying again.
JJ hugged him tightly. "Yuri, Otabek only has eyes for you." Yuri started to shake his head. He knew it was not true. Otabek had not looked at him or touched him in months. He curled tighter into JJ, then realized who he was cuddling up too. Stiffening up he sat up. JJ let go of him. Yuri stood up and started to pace in the sitting room. He had got too comfortable pressed up against him. There he was crying over Otabek, while being hugged by JJ. It felt weird.
"I ugh… I gotta go back to my cabin." Yuri grabbed his coat without putting it on, and went out the door. It was freezing and he was glad he was only at the end of the row, though it was quite a walk. He slipped his jacket on and zipped it up. Trying to dig out the gloves from the pockets but decided keeping his hands in his pockets would work for the short walk.
He had had a good distraction lately with JJ around. He never thought he would think that. They would ski in the morning, skate in the afternoons. On the evenings Victor and Yuuri weren't dragging him out, he would hang out with JJ. They had even gone over to Chris' place one evening and hung out. Yuri found he could have fun without Otabek around. He did not know if this was a good thing or not.
He had been staring at his phone for hours. He had typed out a message to Yuri, but could not find himself to his SEND. It was a simple message, "I'm sorry, I miss you, Can we talk?" He was sober for now, he told himself he would stop going for beer every time something went wrong. That is what got him here as it was. His hand was shaking as he held his phone. He missed Yuri so much it hurt. He found himself at the apartment at night, just lying in bed crying. During the day he could throw himself into skating. He would wake early, go to the gym and lift. The problem was lately he had no appetite and he was pushing his body too hard. Abram was forcing him to eat dinner at night.
Setting his phone down, he started to finger the hair tie around his wrist. He had turned the music on in the apartment and was listening to Yuri's playlist. He deleted the message on his phone and went back to the social media app. Scrolling through the pictures, he saw more of Yuri and JJ. He was not understanding this at all. Why was he hanging out with JJ so much? It was eating at him. There was a picture of them at the top of the mountain, and they were snowboarding. JJ was doing his signature "JJ" fingers as Yuri had his nose crinkled giving a thumbs down.
Otabek could not figure it out. He knew what he felt was jealousy though. A lot of the pictures posted were playful, and he missed that side of Yuri. That was what made him fall in so easily in love with him. Yuri was very playful and it made him feel alive when he was around. With Yuri gone, he felt all of this was gone. His phone chimed. It was Abram looking to go up to Breakers again. Seeing it was early, he texted back saying he would be there soon. He knew being in the apartment was going to do nothing but make him cry. A round of darts and pool could help distract him.
Abram was waiting outside the bar when he showed up. He lit up when he saw Otabek. "I'm so glad you agreed to come out! I was dying of boredom at home!"
Otabek laughed, the guy was full of life, Yuri was like that too. "Yeah, was getting depressing at the apartment anyway."
"Ah Beka…" Abram put his arm around his shoulder in a one armed hug. "Let's go throw some darts ok? You want a beer? I'm buying!" Otabek nodded and headed to the back wall where the darts where.
Abram met him back there with two beers. "I get red this time Beka!" He yelled out.
"No fair. You know red is my lucky color!"
Abram smiled at him, "Exactly." And took the red darts from the board.
They played a few rounds, then one of the pool tables opened up so they saddled up to that. Neither were good players, but they weren't bad either. It kept Otabek out of the depressing hole that was his apartment, he was around other people, it kept his mind off Yuri. Plus the beers were cheap, you could smoke in there, the music was bad and it was close to his apartment so he could walk. Otabek had never been a smoker till recently. It seemed when he went out drinking, he liked a cigarette. Abram always got them a pack, he never took any home, just would have a few at the bar.
He did not realize how late they were out until the barkeep yelled out last call. Abram ran over and grabbed them one last beer. "One more game." Abram wracked them up. Otabek was feeling good. His body and brain were numb. Yuri was far from his mind at that moment. Some really bad music was playing off the jukebox and he was waiting on Abram to break.
"That was a pitiful break!" He yelled when Abram gave him nothing to work off of. Abram walked over, taking the cigarette from his hand and taking a pull.
"Oh hush it up Beka! I never said I was good at this!"
"Ah, this is true. Well then I guess we are both shit at this game then huh?"
Abram laughed, "You said it! Not me!"
They finished their beers and their game and headed out. The air was cold and crisp. They were finishing one last smoke before heading in different directions to go to their homes.
"Hey Beka, thanks… Yanno… for coming out tonight."
Otabek grunted back, flicking his cigarette in the street. "It is no big deal. Keeps me out of the apartment anyway."
Abram nodded. "You know, you can… come back to my place… I can… sleep on the couch." Abram shrugged.
Otabek had had enough beers, it sounded like a great idea. "Yeah, sure, let's go." Otabek shrugged as Abram smiled widely.
Yuri always told Otabek he was oblivious to everything around him. Especially when someone liked him. Back when they were friends, Yuri would try to flirt with him, drop subtle hints, then be so frustrated when Otabek would carry on like nothing. Yuri finally realized, Otabek doesn't see it. He just sees someone being nice.
Yuri was the one who kissed Otabek first. He was so nervous. He knew he liked Otabek, hell the man was sex on a stick. They had been talking for years, and been hanging out. Otabek was in town visiting and meeting with Victor for some choreography. They were back in Yuri's room that night playing video games, Otabek had his serious face on. Yuri thought it was adorable.
Otabek was doing his laundry, so he was wearing one of Yuri's t-shirts, this one had kittens on it and It fit him like a glove. He was also wearing the leopard printed joggers and Yuri almost busted out laughing when he came in the room dressed in those. "Remind me to do my laundry more often ok? And I swear Yura, you take one picture, I will break your phone!" Yuri had snuck about a hundred pictures. Which was probably why he was dying miserably in the game.
Otabek had just killed him another time in the game, then setting down the controller, laid back on the bed. "Are you even trying Yura?" When he had laid down, the shirt had ridden up some, showing a stripe of skin, hip bones and a trail of dark hair. Yuri stopped breathing.
"Yura?" He heard his name and he took in a deep breath, looking down at that beautiful man laid out in his bed. Otabek sat up, taking his cheek in his hand. Oh he loved it when he touched him. It set him on fire.
"Yura? Are you ok? Are you not feeling well?" He was staring him dead in the eye. Yuri wasn't thinking, leaning in, he touched his lips to Otabek's. Otabek gasped, but then he started to kiss back. They did a lot of that night.
Once they had stopped for a moment, Yuri looked over to Otabek, "You seriously had no idea I liked you?"
Otabek shook his head, "Just thought you were being nice to me."
"I was being nice to you, you idiot! But I'm not nice to people!"
"This is true." He kissed Yuri this time. And that is how the rest of their night went. The video game forgotten.
This is complete at AO3 - Ill slowly add more here - 14 Chapters Total to this
AO3 - Phayte - Tumblr Phaytesworld
