Disclaimer: I own a lot of ideas that simply drive me crazy, but Grey's? Nah, sorry ter disappoint yeh. Not mine.

A/N: Haven't updated in a while, I know. Probably won't update for a while after this one either. But I'll never really abandon this fanfic. My excuse for not updating? Well... I was busy writing 73 pages of a new MerDer story (a funny one) - which might show up soon and might be called "Why we can't hate Dr McDreamy" - and planning out the entire sequel of it. Like I said, too many ideas. Hope you can forgive me. Enjoy the new chapter!


Chapter Four - Friends talk and sisters have secrets

"I'm going to tell you something. And you have to swear, you won't judge me or kill me or tell Addison."

"Oh, what have you done?", Mark said(, sounding strangely like Cristina, even though no one knew her yet. He just liked saying it).

Derek took another sip of his scotch, avoiding to look at his best friend. Right now, he was the freaking king of avoidance. Which brought his thoughts back to Meredith while thinking about this rather pathetic fact. Usually she was queen of avoidance, but her behavior at the wedding had surprised him. She had actually been able to pretend nothing had happened. Maybe she was queen of denial and he was king of avoidance. They'd have been a nice, avoiding and denying couple, if they'd ever gotten together. Not that there had ever been a chance of them getting together. And this one stupid drunk night had only been about sex as it were. Whatever.

"Swear.", he said, trying to not seem afraid of admitting what he was about to.

Mark sighed, not knowing why Derek was acting so weird. Okay, he had an idea, but he thought his best friend was a little too worried and too affected by this. He was overreacting. Or he felt guilty. Still, too much to be only guilt.

"Okay, I swear.", he finally said. Derek wouldn't shut up if he didn't tell him and he needed him to shut up so that he could continue brooding over his very own mistakes. If you could call them mistakes.

They both stared absent minded at their half empty glasses of single malt scotch. They had always had the same taste in alcohol and women.

"I slept with Meredith.", Derek finally blurred out.

Mark didn't seem to be too shocked. In fact, he only took another sip from his scotch and said:

"I know."

Derek's head turned towards him and he shot a surpised glance at his best friend. There was no way she had told him. He was her exboyfriend. And her other best friend.

"She told you?", he asked, now truely disturbed. Mark let out a small and joyless laugh.

"Didn't have to. She was calm and relaxed during the wedding. She wouldn't have been calm and relaxed if she had never been with you before she lost you forever."

"So you won't kill me?", Derek uttered after a while. He was still thinking about the not so calm and relaxed way she had excused herself after she had hugged him. And about his own reaction to the close proximity.

"No, of course not. I just think it's sad.", Mark rolled his eyes at his best friends and skipped the rest of his scotch down. It left an unusually suffocating burn behind.

"Yeah, me too. Do you think she hates me?"

"No. She will never hate you. Even if you hurt her really bad. And you've already done that by marrying her sister. Just don't talk to her about what happened. She doesn't want to. She just needed to say goodbye. It's a memory now and she's doing her best trying to move on."

Was he talking about Meredith and Derek or about him and Addison? He wasn't even sure himself.

"She really doesn't want to talk about it?", Derek asked, his entire weight now on his hands that his face was buried in. Mark sighed.

"She really doesn't want to talk about it."

"Why did you break up with her?"

Mark waited so long with the answer that Derek almost thought he wasn't going to get one at all. He had this look in his eyes, like he didn't want to. But he did. It sounded tired, like he regretted something. Well, who didn't?

"I only broke up with her, because I knew this was the last chance for us both to get drunk enough to do something really stupid."

Derek was quiet for a while, thinking this was one of the most awkward conversations he'd ever had. And one of the most honest. He hadn't known Mark was able to do serious talk. He hadn't even thought he'd be able to do serious talk himself. Yet, here he was, doing serious talk with his best friend, the one guy who was even more screwed up than he was. It had always been this way.

"What was your stupid something?", he asked, not even really interested in a reply.

"You don't need to know. It doesn't matter now anyway."

Mark sighed again, thinking something like 'Be grateful you don't know. If you would... You wouldn't ask me not to kill you. You'd kill me.'. After all, he had slept with Addison. Which had been a mistake. But he seemed to regret it more than she did. All she had said was that she had always wanted him. And all he had replied was that he'd always loved her. She hadn't even bothered to answer that. She hadn't taken him serious. He was just Mark. Mark, the manwhore. Mark, the guy who dated Addie's sister, but didn't really want to be with her. Mark, the guy who couldn't love anyone but himself. For her, it had been sex. For him on the other hand...

"Do you love her?", Derek interrupted his train of thoughts. Mark had to react quickly to not reply as if his best friend was asking him about his wife. After a short pause, he said:

"Meredith? No, I don't. But she makes me happy. She makes me forget. I make her happy and forget. And since she doesn't love me either, we are just there for each other. It's not a perfect relationship, but it's all the two of us can get. Nobody should be lonely."

"Never hurt her again, Mark. Because if you do, I will hurt you. She deserves all the happiness in the world."

"I know.", he said, a sad tone in his voice.

'So does Addie.', he added in his mind.


"I did something really, really stupid.", Addison uttered after fourty-two minutes of silent movie-watching with her stepsister.

"We have all done stupid things."

Meredith kept her eyes on the screen. She didn't care about the movie. Not at all. She didn't even know what it was about. She was too lost in her thoughts. Thoughs she couldn't ever share with the person sitting next to her.

"You want to know what it was?", her sister tried again.

"No.", Meredith sighed. Then, after Addison shot her a confused look:

"There's this rule among sisters: 'You tell me, I tell you.' And I don't want to tell you. You don't need to know. Doesn't matter anymore as it is."

For a short moment Addison felt offended.

"You have a stupid something you don't want to tell me about? Whatever happened to our whole 'sisters tell each other everything' thing?", she asked, a slightly blaming tone in her voice.

"Even sisters have secrets, Addison."

'Addison Forbes Montgomery-Shepherd', she completed in her mind. Shepherd. It was supposed to be her last name, not her sisters. Jealousy between siblings was not wise at all. Still, she couldn't help but envy her. He was all she'd ever wanted and all she never got. Especially not now. Meredith knew she should be happy for Addie. But she wasn't. She wasn't happy, because one single night was all she'd ever get and Addison managed to get his last name. Somehow, that wasn't fair.

"Yes, I guess they do.", the redhead said, both disappointed and relieved that there would be no sharing today.

Their concentration went back to the movie. Or to whatever place they'd been before Addison had started talking.


Yeah, I probably should have warned you. It's more like a filler than like an actual chapter and not good at all. I don't like it.

I remain, ladies and gentlemen, in desperate hope I still have readers. Have a nice day and stuff! And don't forget to review! Saves my day!