A/N: Hey, guys! Before we begin here, let me once again thank you for all of the amazing feedback so far. It really helps keep me going, and I appreciate it sincerely. On a Scrubs related note, but not so much this story, the eighth season just came out on dvd earlier this week. If you have the time to do so, I would definitely get it! The extras are great, and there's footage of John C. McGinley paddle surfing, which is pretty awesome. :) Anyway, that's about it from me. Hope you enjoy the chapter!

Disclaimer: I own a very large nothing.

Chapter 3:

"I wake up, it's a bad dream; no one on my side. I was fighting, but I just feel too tired to be fighting. Guess I'm not the fighting kind. Wouldn't mind it if you were by my side."

-A Bad Dream, by Keane-

JD trudged into the men's locker room, tired and worn. Dr. Cox's punishment for sneaking into Kelso's office had done quite a number on him physically. Bags surrounded his eyes, his vision was beginning to blur from exhaustion, and he had definitely dropped a couple of pounds since the beginning of his shifts being doubled.

Turk had been practically throwing tantrums every night since Cox's verdict, telling JD that he was going to march in there the next day and give the older man an earful. Of course, the brunet had always managed to talk him out of it, though it definitely helped now that Carla was able to talk Turk in and out of things as well, seeing as how the two had gotten together over the course of JD's sentence.

However, that had not prevented Carla and Elliot from lecturing him on his foolishness for sneaking into the Chief of Medicine's office either, but he could tell by the way the blonde would bring him coffee or the glares the nurse had been sending Dr. Cox that they sympathized with him.

Yet even with all the back up he'd been receiving, JD still couldn't bring himself to be mad at Perry. (Which, by the way, he still hadn't found himself bold enough to say the dreaded "P-word" out loud. He could only imagine what Dr. Cox would do if ever he dared to address the man by his first name, even if JD personally found it a nice one) The auburn haired doctor didn't double his shifts for the hell of it, he knew, and he had repeated the older man's words about not wanting him thrown out of the hospital over and over again; to remind himself that, despite all of the comments that said otherwise, he really did care.

That didn't mean he wasn't completely and utterly exhausted though.

But today had been his last day of working over time, and the brunet was more than just grateful as he entered the men's locker room to rid himself of vomit covered scrubs and change into warm, comfy sweat pants.

Sluggishly, JD walked over to his locker, opening the combination and changing into new clothes. He blinked wearily at the now closed contraption, taking a seat on the bench in front of it. It was cool in here, he realized. Very refreshing from the humidity that had been the hospital's temperature for the last twenty or so hours. It was raining too, he suddenly noticed. The little window that was placed high above the lockers pitter pattered to life as the water banged against its glass, calming the intern immensely. Mmmm…so tired. He really couldn't wait to get home to the apartment. To crawl into bed and fall asleep to the comforting sound of rain. The last two weeks…he'd worked so hard…

Beep, beep, beep!

JD startled out of his stupor, his pager alerting him abruptly.

The brunet reached into his pocket, pulling it out in order to see who it was. Odd. No name; no number. Well, it could just be low on batteries or something. He'd go to the nurse's station and ask Carla if she knew who wanted him. They probably had some batteries up there too.

With a small sigh, JD stood up from his bench, making his weary way over to the nurse's station. He could not help but notice how oddly quiet the halls were as he made his way over, but shrugged it off. A lot of their patients were admittedly old, and it was extremely plausible that they were just sleeping at the moment, allowing their doctors some free time.

Finally, after what felt like a much longer, lonelier walk than he had predicted, JD arrived at the nurse's station, smiling when he saw Carla, despite her back being turned to him. "Hey, Carla. Do you know who just paged me? My beeper went off, but nothing showed up on the actual screen."

The intern was surprised, to say the least, when the woman he had been getting to know as attentive and caring turned around sharply, her eyes narrowed in obvious disgust. "You," she hissed venomously.

At first, the assassin simply stared, wide eyed. Surely she wasn't talking to him, was she? But after a few double takes over his shoulder, it became very apparent that her accusatory glare was aimed at none other than himself. "Me…? Carla, what are you –"

"Why are you even here!?"

"Huh? Oh, right. I know my shift ended, but my beeper just went off, which is why I'm still –"

"What!? You still have your pager!? I thought they took it away from you!"

"What? Wait…Carla, what are you talking about? Why would they take it away from me?"

"Don't you dare talk to me so casually! Not after what you did!"

JD swallowed, a nervous sweat breaking out onto his forehead. Oh, God…they knew, didn't they? Knew he was an assassin; knew he didn't really belong there. But how? How could they have found out? Sure, he'd made a few blunders already, but nothing so grave where they would know of his real profession, right? Still, he couldn't cave in. Not yet, anyway. "W-What are you talking about…?"

"Oh, don't you dare! Don't you dare play innocent! You killed them! All of them! Every single one of your patients – DEAD!"

JD had been getting ready to confess; to tell her that he never in his life would have voluntarily signed up for such a profession as the one reality had thrown him into, but the nurse's last comment had prevented him from speaking. What did she just say…? "I-I'm sorry…?"

"You killed your patients! All of them! You killed them because that's what you are! A killer! A murderer! You're no doctor at all!"

"N-No. No, Carla, no. I-I would never do that. Carla…Carla, please! I would never do such a horrible thing! You're right, I'm…I'm not a real doctor, and you're right; I have killed before, but only because I had to! And they…they were bad people, Carla, they were! But I would never kill my patients! Ever! Even the ones who are bad people! I would never do that! I don't even like killing the targets that 'deserve' it, I swear! I would never in my life kill a patient, Carla! I wouldn't do that!"

"Liar! I trusted you! The whole hospital trusted you!"

"I trusted you."

JD turned around, eyes still wide and heart racing wildly. "Turk…? When did you…when did you get here?"

"I trusted you," he repeated, brown eyes mournful and lost. "I trusted you, JD. I thought we could be close, but then you murdered them. All of them."

"Turk, no! I don't know how this rumor started, but I swear! I would never do that! God, I don't even like being an assassin to begin with! I hate it! So why in God's name would I turn around and kill people I'm not even forced to kill!?"

"So no one forced you to do this then…?"

JD watched, horror etched into every molecule of his being, as his new friend and roommate turned around to reveal the knife that stuck out of his back, the rusty metal covered in blood. "NO! TURK, NO!"

"I trusted you…"

Doe blue eyes filled with tears as he took in his friends last words. Shakily, he moved to catch the body that made its way to the floor, but two sets of strong, female hands prevented him from helping his friend. "LET GO! HE HAS TO BE TAKEN CARE OF!"

"NOT BY YOU!"

JD was turned around with a force he did not expect from the emotional wreck that was Elliot Reid, and tried not to let out a cry of pain as she reached up to slap him; her nails digging into his cheek on the way back down to her side. "Murderer! Filthy murderer!"

"I didn't! Elliot, please! I would never in my life - !"

"What life?" Carla spat, brown eyes practically on fire. "Not the one you're living, no. Not anymore. That belongs to them now."

"W-What? I don't…I don't understand. I –"

"GET HIM! DEVOUR HIM TILL YOUR VENGENENCE IS SATIATED!"

The assassin turned back around, skin pale and sleek with sweat, as the doors that lined the once empty hallways opened menacingly, revealing the corpses of the patients he supposedly killed. He let out a scream that he heard the two girls behind him laugh at, while the bodies made their way towards his own trembling form. From the corner of his eye, he saw Turk get up from the ground, only to turn vengeful eyes on him as well.

"NO! NO, PLEASE! I DIDN'T DO THIS! I WOULD NEVER! YES, I'M GUILTY OF KILLING, BUT I HATED IT! I STILL DO! BUT HONEST TO GOD, I DID NOT KILL ANY OF YOU! I DIDN'T DO THIS! PLEASE!"

Hands were on him now, clawing viscously at his clothes and hair; screaming at him the word he hated most; the word he called himself before falling asleep every night; the word his inner monologue would fight against to no end. "Killer, killer, killer, killer, killer…"

"No, PLEASE!"

"Killer, killer, killer, killer, killer…"

"…Newbie?"

JD looked around wildly, the sound of Dr. Cox's voice penetrating his fear for a fraction of a moment, though it did not stop the bodies from clawing at him without mercy.

But even through the fear and the chaos, JD still couldn't help but wonder: Did he really deserve mercy? From anybody?

"JD…?"

"DR. COX! DR. COX, I'M HERE!" The brunet tried raising his hands from the mass of bodies that surrounded his own, not even knowing why it was he thought the older man would help him if he could. Maybe it was the semi-concern that laced the Irishman's tone; maybe it was the fact that, even in his current position, he still thought the man strong enough and capable enough to help him out of his predicament, but the advice that was next thrown his way made absolutely no sense for his current situation.

"Newbie, wake up."

"DR. COX, PLEASE! I DIDN'T KILL THEM!"

"What…?"

"I DIDN'T KILL THEM! I WOULD NEVER!"

"You're not a killer, JD. Come on, now. Wake up."

"DR. COX! HELP ME, PLEASE!"

"I'm right here, Gladys. Now wake the hell up. You're having a nightmare."

"PERRY!"

"Oh no, no, no, no; now that we are just nee-hot having."

A strong hand gripped the brunet's shoulder, shaking him roughly. JD tried to fight it, but its hold became stronger and stronger, and the more he screamed in defense, the more desperate the hold on him became.

"Shit, kid, this isn't funny. Wake up!"

"DR. COX, HELP!"

"You asked for it, Newbie… WAKE THE HELL UP!"

JD's eyes snapped open at once, an all too familiar voice having finally broken through the horror that was his most gruesome nightmare to date. He was breathing very hard and very fast, he knew, but he couldn't seem to get control over his heartbeat. He had to think; he had to calm himself. Where was he? The locker room. Yes, the locker room. The rain – it was still going on outside; the sky no darker than it had been before he dozed off and into morbidity land. Okay, so he hadn't slept for too long. That was sort of good, right? But what was with the strong hands around his collar? Oh, Dr. Cox. …Dr. Cox! So that part with him screaming at him to wake up, that was –

JD looked up into the two eyes that stared down at him. The first word that he chose to describe them as was angry, yet the harder he looked, the more he really began to see. But it just wasn't possible, was it? They almost looked…they almost looked afraid. "Dr. Cox…? I, um…"

"Um," was apparently the magic word, seeing as how the hands that had shaken him awake now let go of him in a hurry, shoving themselves back into the pockets of his lab coat. "Glad to see you're awake there, Sleeping Beauty. I know you were dying for your perfect prince to come along and give you that coma awaking kiss, but I'm just not that guy, get me?"

JD blushed furiously, not quite knowing how to respond to that one. Still, there was something missing from the older man's usual insults. The tone was different; the hard edge that usually outlined his words not quite there. "Dr. Cox, I –"

"Just go home, Newbie. And get some sleep, will ya'? I'm talking real sleep with no earth shattering nightmares, especially ones where you're calling out my name; especially my first name, understand?"

Still finding himself unable to look up and meet the older man's gaze, JD nodded.

"Good. Now get out of here."

The brunet didn't need to be told twice. Quickly grabbing his back pack, the intern swung it over his shoulders and hurried out of the locker room doors. He had originally planned on going home and getting some sleep, but maybe the latter part of that plan wasn't such a good idea anymore.

--

A whole three hours after arriving back at the apartment, and still JD found himself in front of the TV, one hand idly petting Rowdy while the other gripped the remote control. He'd been doing some heavy channel surfing, and was now determined to find some sort of action film. Anything that would keep his eyes open; the same pair of eyes he had been fighting against for the past hour or so.

A sudden tinkering at the doorknob stirred JD out of his trance. Turk. Thank, God. He was dying to see him ever since his nightmare. As foolish as it may have sounded to some, he just really wanted to see that he was okay. You know…without the bloody knife in his back. Would he be able to tell him about the dream, though? Well, not all of it, of course, but maybe just a little. Then, after all was said and done, they could pig out and watch a movie or something. That would help keep him awake too.

Excitedly, JD turned around, guilty for feeling disappointed, and silly for feeling a little afraid, when Carla stepped into the apartment instead. Oh yeah – Turk had told him earlier that she was spending the night there since her own place was getting fumigated. JD didn't mind, of course, but he had really been looking forward to seeing Turk, not to mention the image of nightmare-Carla was still very vivid in his mind's eye.

"Hey, Bambi," she greeted calmly, a casual smile on her face. "Glad to finally be off? I tried coming in quietly, since I thought you'd be sleeping. I didn't wake you up, did I?"

"Huh? Oh, no. No, you're alright, Carla. I was just channel surfing, that's all."

"…Is that all you've been doing since you got home?"

"Yeah…"

JD looked down at his lap upon seeing the nurse's expression turn into a worried frown. Quietly, she walked over to him, placing herself beside him on the couch. It wasn't until he peeked over to look at her did she let out a small, surprised gasp. "Bambi, look at you!" The brunet had no time to respond before two, soft hands began cradling his face. Mmmm…warm. "Sweetie, have you looked at yourself lately? Your skin is paler than usual, and your cheek bones are definitely showing more than they were two weeks ago."

"Carla, it's fine, really. I'm off now, and I have off tomorrow too. I just need to catch up on some sleep and eat a little bit."

"I told Dr. Cox that doubling your shifts for two weeks was too much, but did he listen? Oh, no. Not the great Perry Cox! I swear, that man is going to get another earful tomorrow. Well, maybe not, since he… Oh, never mind. Anyway, don't worry about anything, okay, Bambi? Carla will take care of you."

JD didn't really like the idea of Dr. Cox being lectured, especially after this afternoon, but he couldn't deny how great it felt to be mothered like this. It was an experience he had missed out on growing up, not to mention her current behavior did wonders in terms of ridding the image that was nightmare-Carla out of his head.

Moments after standing up and taking to the kitchen, the Latina nurse returned to the couch with a plate full of cookies. When did she even find the time to make these? JD thought as he reached out for one, muttering a small but appreciative thanks in the process.

"JD…why aren't you sleeping right now?"

"Because I'm eating your awesome chocolate chip cookies?"

"I'm glad you like them, but don't try steering me away from the topic with flattery. Now tell me: Why aren't you in bed getting the rest you need?"

The brunet swallowed down his latest bite before answering the nurse's question, eyes turned away from her and back onto his lap. "I had a nightmare earlier…" The minute it left his mouth, he quietly hated himself for it. Here he was, a grown man and a trained assassin, sitting on a couch eating gooey, home made cookies, while confessing to his best friend's girlfriend that he couldn't go to sleep due to a bad dream.

Pathetic.

But the hand that reached up to comb away loose strands of hair had him feeling not so bad, especially when accompanied by the words that followed after. "JD...you're a new intern. You're going to get very stressed this upcoming year, and you can't afford to miss out on sleep."

"I have a feeling my year's going to be a bit more stressful than most interns'…"

"Bambi…a lot of interns get bad dreams. Even doctors who have worked there for years still get hospital related nightmares from time to time. You don't have to feel embarrassed because it happened to you too."

JD smiled gratefully. Sure, she didn't know the whole picture, but she was right to a degree, wasn't she? "Thanks, Carla."

"Don't mention it."

"Hey…Carla?"

"Hmm…?"

"How did you know it was hospital related?"

"Oh, um…"

"C'mon, Carla, please…?" JD felt bad for the pout he next gave her, knowing her soft spot for puppy eyes with her combined love for gossip, but he couldn't help but feel curious as to how she knew what she obviously knew.

"Alright, well…I'm not really supposed to tell you, so you have to promise to keep it to yourself, okay?"

JD nodded immediately, popping yet another cookie into his mouth as he did so.

"Now don't get upset, Bambi, but Dr. Cox told me – just me, so don't worry – what happened earlier."

The brunet was shocked, to say the least, but upset? If Cox had gone and told everyone for the fun of it, then yeah, he would've been, but even without Carla's latest bit of information, JD just couldn't imagine the older man doing that. Both the doctor's earlier tone and expression showed him that his anger ridden attending hadn't found the situation a funny one. And while it was true JD had only been a part of Sacred Heart Hospital for a little over two weeks now, he was observant enough to know that Carla was one of the few people that Dr. Cox actually liked; one of the few people that he came remotely close to opening up to, so if he confided in her about the situation, then that must've meant that he really…

"He told me he had to wake you, and that it took quite a bit of effort. He also told me you were muttering things. 'Killer' and 'patients.' Things like that…"

I guess he left out the part about me screaming his name, JD thought with an odd combination of relief and something else he couldn't quite identify. Wait a second…if he really had been talking in his sleep, and Dr. Cox had heard him, then…Oh, no… "Did he, um…did he hear me say anything else?"

"What? Oh, no. That was it. But, Bambi…he asked me to leave early."

"Huh? I don't get it. What does that have to do with me having a nightmare?"

"He knows I'm staying with you and Turk tonight, Sweetie."

"I still don't get it."

Carla rolled her eyes, though there was a definite air of playfulness to it. "He was concerned about you! God knows he didn't say it, and I certainly can't sit here and tell you that he ever will, but…I think he sent me home to make sure you were okay."

"I – wait…really? Concerned? For…for me?"

The Latina woman nodded, her smile growing just a bit more as she did so. "Just don't tell him I told you, okay?"

JD nodded in agreement. There was no way he'd tell Dr. Cox based off of another person's assumption, even if said person was reliable. Besides, even if Carla had been right in her way of thinking, telling him out loud that he knew he was concerned would quite possibly cause the older man to clam up once in for all; something he most definitely did not want to see happening any time soon. "Okay, I promise."

"Good. Now, how about you go and get some sleep for a while, okay? Turk was thinking of going out tonight, the three of us, so I'll have either him or myself come wake you up when he gets back. Sound good?"

JD reached over, embracing the nurse in a hug he both needed to give and needed to feel. "Thanks, Carla. I really appreciate it."

"Aw, it's alright, Bambi."

The brunet remained a part of the hug, enjoying the feel of her hands drawing soft, comforting circles onto his back, before finally letting go and getting up from his place on the couch. He smiled at her once more before heading into his bedroom, throwing himself on his lavender colored quilt with a sigh.

--

It was a few hours later when a soft knock aroused him from his sleep. "Come in…" he murmured into his pillow.

"Hey, man. Sorry to wake you, but we're getting ready to go out for dinner. You in?"

JD smiled sleepily at his friend in the doorway. "Definitely, man. Just give me a few minutes and I'll be ready."

"'A few minutes?' Please. We're not leaving for another hour, but I woke you up early for a reason."

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"Do you think I haven't noticed how much you obsess over your hair? There's no such thing as a 'few minutes' when it comes to your styling, is there?"

JD grinned sheepishly, matching the surgeon's playful expression. "Playa's gotta look good."

"'Sugar darling!'"

"'Giiiirl…!'"

The two laughed for a moment, JD finally pulling himself up into a sitting position, before Turk asked the question that, surprisingly enough, the assassin hadn't even pondered since awaking. "So, man, did you sleep alright?"

It was a moment before JD answered, his mind searching through his memory for any gruesome image that may have aimed to haunt him while he slept. It was one of the few times in his life where coming up blank felt really, really good. "Yeah," he finally answered, a grin breaking out onto his expression. "I slept great."

A/N: I know a lot of this chapter consisted of JD's nightmare, but I really wanted to start showing bits of his life that illuminates how much his job as an assassin truly haunts him, besides the daily struggle; the right or wrong dilemma that is already hard enough. Anyway, that's about it. Hope you guys enjoyed it, and until next time!