Fan Fiction Rap Battles

Episode Four: "Rainbow Factory" vs "Cupcakes"

(Based off of "Slenderman vs Jeff the Killer" by Epic Rap Battle Parodies)

This rap battle was written before Epic Rap Battles Of History: Episode 34 by KJMusical was published. Any similarities between that rap battle and this rap battle are completely coincidental and not intentional. Both rap battles were created independently of each other. No ideas, concepts, characters, or lines were exchanged between Matthais Unidostres and KJMusical concerning these two rap battles.


Fan Fiction!

RAP BATTLES!

(Matthais is fettered to a table in a dark basement.)

Hi, it's Matthais Unidostres and welcome to the Fan Fiction Rap Battle Halloween Special! And I'm already regretting this! Try not to worry too much for me, I think Keldeo has already received my distress signal from my IPod Touch App! Okay, so, on with the battle.

Today we got, from "Rainbow Factory" by AuroraDawn, the evil Pegasus who manages a factory that kills little Pegasi fillies and turns them into rainbows, and the one who killed her own adoptive sister, the red cloaked Manager Rainbow Dash!

And from "Cupcakes" by Sergeant Sprinkles, we have the pink pony who slices up her friends when she draws their numbers, and bakes their flesh into cupcakes! Here's the psychotic pony, dressed in a dress made from the Cutie Marks of her victims, Pinkamena Diane Pie!

BEGIN!

Manager Rainbow Dash:

Behold the grandmaster of the Pegasus Device,

My eyes blaze like fire, and my heart's as cold as ice!

You're just an insane cannibal who has no meaning of fright,

I kill more scapegoats than Hitler in the day and the night!

Nothing can match my hate, I practically bathe in blood,

I've got swarms of guards coming at you, your threats are all just duds!

A dress made of Cutie Marks? No class to be found,

Was your Mark not good enough for you? Who cares! You're going down!

Pinkamena:

You're a Social Darwinist, you just kill little kids.

I make yummy cupcakes! So everyone wins!

Well, except for the ones that die. . .well at least I'm no boaster!

Your story's only popularity comes from WoodenToaster!

You're the manager of a factory? What about the Wonderbolts?

Well you're way too crazy, you killed Aurora but not the colt?

You kill based on a test, but I got a bowl of numbers!

In fact I just drew yours! That's why you're scared? No wonder.

Manager Rainbow Dash:

They call me Rainbow Dash because I crank out the rainbows.

I contribute to society, you write organ jokes that all blow.

You're rip off of Sweeny Todd, and he's more effective.

What kind of pony eats meat? You're literally defective!

How the hell are you considered scary? Your story made no sense,

You had no reason for your murders, you're just brain dead and dense!

I don't need to bother killing you, you're not a Pegasi,

But you are a murderer, so PREAPRE TO DIE!

Pinkamena:

You're story's way too mean! Everypony swears.

So what if Cloudsdale tells you to, you're as bad as me, so there!

I'll hack out your stomach and use it as bagpipes!

Whip you with your intestines till your back has bloody stripes!

I'm not doing anything wrong, I kill ponies cause I have to!

Why? That's for me to know and you not to!

I've got hundreds of spin offs and endings,

You're old news, how sad!

And why do they call it a hacksaw, I don't understand. . .


"No hold on a second. . . " a voice said. The location changed to the ruined village of Sunny Town. Out of a the ground rose a zombified version of Applebloom. Her eyes glowed red and she smiled maliciously. Next to her appeared the ghost of a grey Earth Filly with blonde hair, a magnifying glass Cutie Mark, and glowing yellow eyes. It was Ruby from "Story of the Blanks" by Donitz.


Applebloom:

Straight from Sunny Town! We bring horror you won't believe

Ruby:

There aren't any shotguns here, so I think you better leave

Applebloom:

We'll bring all your murder victims back from the dead.

Ruby:

You're both evil villains, we're the victims instead

Applebloom:

Dash, you're a eugenicist. Pinkie, what did you smoke?

Ruby:

and both of you freaks always wear ugly cloaks!

Applebloom:

What a lame excuse. You kill cause you have too?

Ruby:

Hitler and The Joker. You'll be cursed. Both of you!


Suddenly, a rabid Big Machintosh ran in out of nowhere, covered in blood and gore and foaming at the mouth. He had just finished killing the Cutie Mark Crusaders in "Sweet Apple Massacre."


Big Mac:

Hahaha! It's getting too loud here! So get ready for the massacre!

A zombified Applebloom? That won't keep me from raping her!

Rip out all of your organs, I don't even need a knife!

I get deep into my work, don't need a Device!

Rainbow Dash, you don't scare me! Pinkie, you're just a bitch,

I'll giggle at the ghostie and the zombie without a hitch!

I'm the Gore Fic King. Just as good as Evil Dead

And I don't even need a hacksaw to bite off your heads!


Fluttershy then flew down in between everyone. She was wearing a white lab coat, and in her pockets were a bunch of syringes, baby bottles, and various other baby things.

She had just arrived from Pattycakes by Pegacorn Ondacob, in which she had given Rainbow Dash the mind of a baby and had created a potion that could so the same thing to anypony else.


Fluttershy:

Spread the word, I'm the Cupcakes of Psychological Horror.

You psychos are only scary because you spread blood and gore.

Meanwhile, I'll reduce you all to innocent little foals!

Having a "Wittue Wain-boo" is my ultimate goal.

I can't understand how you psychos are considered horror.

Anyone can kill a pony, I'm a mind destroyer!

You can't beat me. The whole town obeys me!

Will Scootaloo get through my SAW gauntlet? GO READ MY NEXT SOTRY!


The setting suddenly changed to the burned destroyed ruins of Ponyville.

"You can't touch me now! You see this button here? I'm gonna press it!"

BOOM!

As the flash faded, out of the rubble stepped a grey pony with blue hair with red tips. He wore a pair of light blue headphones on his head, and he had had tombstone with arms and matching headphones for a Cutie Mark.


The Living Tombstone:

I just remembered what happened in September

I set detonated a nuke, destroyed Ponyville forever.

First I was a song, and then I was a fanfic.

Of all you killers and manipulators, I'm the most sick.

You can't don't anything about it you flea bitten mutts

I'll blow up your Factory, Rainbow! Then I'll kick Fluttershy's butt.

C-4, TNT; I'm having too much fun!

It'll be your redemption day when my verse is done.


Everyone is suddenly teleported back into the Everfree Forest. In an instant, a tall pony with a thin body and thin legs appeared. It wore a black suit, and had grey fur, it had black tentacles sticking out of it's back. Worst of all, it had no face.


Slender Mane

You shouldn't have done that. It's time to give you a frown

I'm back for good bitches! And this time you'll all go down.

I'm called Slender Mane, I'm everypony's thriller

Sunny Town has nothing on this anorexic killer.

You throw fillies in a grinder, Dash! They die when they see me!

When you see me, Fluttershy, you'll cry like a baby.

More than half of you aren't even supposed to be evil.

And Mac, you don't need rape in order to be lethal!


Suddenly, Princess Luna teleported in the middle of the action. She gave a good look around and then there was another flash where she stood.

"LOVE ME!"

Luna is lying on the ground, her legs severed with blood everywhere. After about 5 seconds, she opens her eyes, her face horribly disfigured as she lets out a blood-curdling shriek.

After another flash, the Luna from the Luna Game Series returns back to normal.

Luna Game:

With a Super Ponybeat soundtrack, Luna's here to platform!

Come on an play my game. You'll wish you've NEVER BEEN BORN!

I'll kill you all with screamers! 5 plus 0 times!

These games are just for you, Pinkie! Surrender now, for you are mine!

Story of the Blanks? Luna Game is infinitely better!

I'll put Zalgofied pictures in the Rainbow Factory's computers

Pinkamena, a bloody Scootaloo, even a Crazy Twi!

When you step into my nightmares, for you all THE END IS NEIGH!


Suddenly, in a flash a purple light, all of the rappers were suddenly strapped to operating tables. They were arranged in a circle within what appeared to be laboratory. Suddenly, two Twilight Sparkles appeared. One from Pages of Harmony by Shadowed Rainbow on FiM Fic (or PotterPhantomKitten on FanFic), and the other from The Experiments of Twilight Sparkle by smawzyuw2 (or smawzyv). Suddenly, the two ponies fused together into one, and she laughed manically before rapping.


Dr. Twilight Sparkle:

Enough with your petty rhymes, it's time to do some science!

I'll extract the other Elements and achieve omniscience!

You're all disharmonious beings, so you're all going to die!

I'm a Nazi By Any Other Name, and that name is Twi!

Appebloom and Ruby, you'll soon join Spike and Sweetie Belle

If you don't have Harmony's DNA, I will send you to Hell!

And Fluttershy, I think it's time for you to see,

the destruction of Kindness from A to Z!

Dash, you're not Loyal! You most surely need to die!

You and Atmosphere take notes. Here's how you do genocide!

And Living Tombstone? You'll live no more!

Your music is chaos in my anti-chaos war!

And Luna Game, you're Nightmare Moon's corruption.

All corruption will vanish upon my ascension!

Big Mac and Pinkie Pie? This is a joke!

I'll rip both your larynxes out! Inject you with crack and coke.

A Disharmony Holocaust throughout the multiverse!

Yield to the scientist who will DESROY THE IMPURE!


Wow. . .I mean. . .wow. . .this was A LOT of work! I feel drained after this. Boy, am I glad that's over. I almost didn't make it. Well, you know the drill. Which Creepypasta/Grimdark/Gorefest character won this extra long rap battle, and who do you want to see here next? Let me know in a review or PM if you want. And if you're wondering why Krastos the Glue Maker didn't appear here, that's because there are two versions of him, a bear and a human, and the bear is a good guy. And they have no fanfics. Also, if you read this before going to sleep. . .I am so sorry.

Have a safe and Happy Halloween!

Credits

Manager Rainbow Dash from "Rainbow Factory" by AuroraDawn

"Cupcakes" by Sergeant Sprinkles

"Story of the Blanks" by Donitz

Big Mac from "Sweet Apple Massacre"

"Pattycakes" by Pegacorn Ondacob

September (Feat. Mic the Microphone and PinkieSkye) Fanfic on

Slender Mane- A Slender Man Parody

Luna from Luna Game by Anonymous

Dr. Twilight Sparkle from "Pages of Harmony" by Shadowed Rainbow on FiM Fic (or PotterPhantomKitten on FanFic) and "The Experiments of Twilight Sparkle" by smawzyuw2 (or smawzyv).