Camping Trip back with crack! And no, again, I do not have OR need crack. Review thankies:
WhiteLadyDragon: I have no idea; I got it from House. And no, you're fine.
Alicia: don't ruin the fun for the other reviewers! They don't know about that yet!
Chapter 4
"Oh man, what are we going to do with them?" Zane asked me, walking back toward camp. Distinct screams in a familiar nasally and annoying voice issued from the site. "There goes Chazz. Again."
"Oh yeah, I'm going to know what to do with Chazz Princeton," I said sarcastically. "I dunno, ask Daphne to put a foot in its mouth," I emphasized the "it" purposely.
"Yeah, I don't suppose Chazz counts as a human, does it? Does anyone know, really?"
"Can't be sure about anything, Zane," I said almost cheerfully. "Who knows, maybe I'm a vampire, right?"
"Right," he replied slowly. "Wait, what the hell?"
Chazz spotted us.
"HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" it screamed. "DOYOUHAVEPRETTYCOLORFIRESTUFFS?"
"Chazz, I saw the most perfect tutorial on a shirt for you. It said: Open mouth; insert foot. Please comply with the wisdom of the shirt," Zane said.
"CAN I HAVE PRETTYCOLORFIRESTUFFS THEN!?"
"FINE!" Zane yelled, "JUST SHUT THE HELL UP!" Chazz promptly attempted to literally stuff his foot into his mouth. I promptly anime-sweatdropped.
"Oh God," I said. "Zane, cut it out!" I pulled him away from the tree that he was once again attempting to concuss himself with. "Jeez, do you have something against brain-cells this week?"
"No. I have something against being conscious and within a mile radius of Chazz on a sugar high trying to get 'prettycolorfirestuffs'," Zane said. "Oh, holy…he actually got his foot stuck in his mouth."
Yet again, Zane was correct; Chazz's foot was lodged firmly in his mouth, a fact verified by the copious amount of muffled profanity issuing from aforementioned piehole.
"Fmffk!!!" Chazz yelled. "Stupmfff ffft stff imma muf! Fmffk!!!" which I translated from foot-muffled Chazz-ese to "Fuck! Stupid foot stuck in my mouth! Fuck!"
While Daphne attempted to remove Chazz's foot from his mouth, the squirrel, which had until this point been hiding on Syrus's head, migrated back to Chazz, who promptly flung it at Atticus who threw it at Syrus who threw it at Alexis who threw it back at Chazz, hitting him squarely in the face. Chazz then attempted to throw it at Zane, only to have the little creature stop an inch from the latter's face and speed with impossible velocity back at the former, knocking him over with the squirrel now lodged in his mouth. Chazz spat violently, dislodged the fuzzy projectile, and saw a label on its back reading "ACME Boomerang Squirrel: warning; will return at 10x greater speed than thrown."
"I HATE THE WOODS!!!!" he screamed. "AND WHY THE HELL WOULD ANYONE MAKE BOOMERANG SQUIRRELS? HOW DID THEY MAKE BOOMERANG SQUIRRELS? WHO BUYS THESE STUPID BOOMERANG SQUIRRELS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!"
"Yeah, I think I should go now," Zane said.
"Wait, that was you?" I asked.
"Who else?"
"I love you."
"I know. You've told me. Repeatedly."
End chapter
Okay, Alicia, happy? I put in your beloved boomerang squirrel. Review, peoples! And yeah, I think this is definitely T, don't you?
