A/N: I was going to write a story, only on Hermione's POV... but this world inspires me... so I thought I might write at least Ginny and probably Luna too.
So this is going to be a Ginny chapter... And for your information: it's going to be a bit of Blinny... even if I totally ship Ginny with Harry, but this needs to happen...for the sake of the story... it's nothing permanent, I promise!
Feedback is much appreciated !
GINNY
I sit on the edge of the balcony railing like I'm riding a broom.
With my eyes closed and the wind in my hair, I can imagine the crowd cheering and other players whipping past me.
I imagine soaring higher to the sky and then zooming past the beaters to catch the quaffle.
Faster, to the goal poles and past the keeper!
"Gin…"
I open my eyes and see Daphne… she's standing on the doorway looking at me worriedly.
The way she pronounces my name sounds like a weird gulp. But I know it's because if someone would hear her, they wouldn't immediately realize what she called me.
"What?" I ask her, not getting off my imagined broom, "it's not like I can fall…"
They're wiser than the Malfoys, who didn't have protections around the house to prevent people from jumping…
"What if he sees you?" Daph hisses, glancing across her solder.
She means Eric… their driver… who is also an Eye…
If he heard, what she calls me, she'd be in trouble… We'd all be in trouble…
"This is not forbidden." I raise my hands to my sides like wings.
She rolls her eyes, "Isn't it better to not attract attention?"
"I attract attention anyway…"
"Gin…"
I like that name… Harry used to call me that too… but here, I'd like to think about the meaning of the word: Gin…a strong alcohol…
"Fine…" I get down and follow her down the hall.
I've lived here, with her and Blaise, serving as Ofblaise for a little less than a year now.
I'm their Handmaid, and truth be told… I could be so much worse!
I feel guilty I can't tell Hermione that I'm actually quite ok living here with them.
I know I told her Daph takes me to gardens with her now like it's something completely new… when it isn't.
I know I tell her I'm "The same.." when she asks me and I know I give her an impression it's as hard for me as it's for the rest of the girls… but it's not…
I just can't blow my cover… I can't risk getting caught… because it's not only about me… it's this whole family… excluding Eric…
Blaise and Daphne are exactly that kind of commander pair, why they won't dare to make young people commanders.
They don't respect The Law one bit… I mean they pretend along with the others so that they don't get themselves… or us… killed… but inside the walls of the Zabini manor… They follow the law only when it's absolutely necessary… necessary means, when somebody might be watching…
And during these months we… Blaise and Daph and me and our Martha Janine, have created a unified front, that Eric buys gladly… so the ministry buys it too… and as long as we can pull it off, we're kind of safe.
The first step to coworking was to realize we were all forced to our positions.
Blaise didn't support the law… and did not want to be a commander, but he didn't have a choice. His family has always had power and they're an old pureblood line. So he was made commander.
Daphne had never settled down and never wanted children… she was fine flying around as a social butterfly and writing articles to different fashion magazines… but she was the heiress of the Greengrass line... so she needed magical offspring… I'm not sure if she really is infertile, or is it just a story she's told to avoid the red… I'm not sure if she has ever even tried to get pregnant…
Janine hated cooking… she once told me she bought a muggle microwave to her house so she didn't have to cook… even with magic, she thought it was dead boring.
For the first two months in this house, I was alone and miserable… Then in the evening of the third ritual, Daphne closed the bedroom door and I went to lie on my back on the bed… and then nothing happened…
"Get up Ginny." She said kindly, not like her usual ordering tone… I did as she said.
Blaise was there too… "We're not doing this… this is sick!" He said with a serious look on his face.
I open my mouth, and close it… and open it again, "But we have to! They are going to kill you if you don't!"
"I'm not forcing myself on you... It's not right."
"This is a private event anyway… they won't know what happens behind these doors… or what doesn't." Daphne cut in.
"But they will if I don't get pregnant! And then they will reposition me and if the next handmaid won't become pregnant either you'll be punished for not following orders…"
A year and a half… that's how long they will let us stay and if we don't get pregnant we're repositioned.
"Besides, I've had three children in six years… if I don't get pregnant they'll know something is wrong! And then they'll reposition me and I'll be taken somewhere where they think The Law is the truth and treat me like…"
"Fine! We get your point." Blaise raised his hands up, "What do you suggest?"
So we make up our own rules… We go through our ritual… but with a mutual agreement… I know they don't like it any better than I do. Daphne doesn't hold me down and Blaise does only what is absolutely necessary.
We play a united front to everyone else too: I'm the imprisoned handmaid…even to my best friend. Blaise is the young, committed commander, Daphne is the loyal, proud wife and Janine is the obedient Martha, and the manor is always spotlessly clean.
Truth be told, I'm not that miserable here.
I mean I do miss my family… but given the circumstance… I consider Daph and Blaise and Janine, my friends… my allies… And in a way, we are a family… glued together to stand united to defy the darkness.
.
.
.
Daphne rarely shows emotions… she cried desperately when her sister died.
We tried our best to comfort her, but I guess she felt guilty.
"I knew she was miserable… and I didn't help her… I did nothing…"
The other time she cried was after the funeral…
"How do you know about Pansy's daughter?" I asked her as soon as I got a chance.
"I sniffed around…" She says like she's indifferent…
But when I don't say anything else, she casts her eyes down…. and when she lifts her gaze again, there are tears in her eyes…
"I feel helpless… my sister is dead and my best friend… I can't help her… I can't save her or her child… I can't do anything but sit around and knit! I hate knitting!"
"I know… I feel helpless too…" I mutter, and she smiles at me wetly.
"Sorry Gin… I know things are bad for you too…"
"We need to stay strong! We'll figure something out! We always have…"
I know I'm repeating Hermione's words… And I want them to be true…so bad.
We have a ritual that night. Since we decided to play with our own rules it has changer our outtake…
I lie on my back and Blaise is between my legs… and Daphne sits behind me and talks to me, like what we do is completely ordinary…
Today she feels playful…
"Places you've done it? let's take turns and see who's done worse…" She smirks, "I'll start: the Gryffindor commons."
"You snake…" I actually laugh, "okay, the astronomy tower."
"The Room of Requirement."
"The trophy room"
"The perfect's bath"
"The owlery…"
"Eww…" She wrinkles her nose, "The forbidden forest...
"The Quidditch pitch."
"The potions lab…"
"The chamber of secrets…"
her eyes go wide, "No!"
"Girls!"
We look down at Blaise. His cheeks are flushed and there's sweat on his forehead, "Little help here, maybe?"
And we actually giggle, me and Daph… because we totally forgot what's happening... and the situation is so utterly absurd.
"Sorry, Blaise… just think of us… Doing it… in some of those places…"
Things really are what you make of them… even sex… if you see it only as a performance… without deeper meanings, it's exactly that…
.
.
.
"I think we have a problem…" Daph says when my period starts again… "Like you said… you had three children in six years… it shouldn't be this hard…"
"Maybe it's the stress and the dread…" I suggest.
"Maybe it's me?" Blaise looks at us worried…
"Or maybe it's the lack of enthusiasm…"
"Daph, I don't know what they told you about getting pregnant, but it doesn't work like that…" I roll my eyes.
She shrugs and takes a sip of her red wine, "I've heard it helps if you get an orgasm…"
Blaise snorts and I kick Daphne's leg under the table, "Daph!"
"Well, I think it wouldn't hurt to try..."
"What are you implying?" Blaise looks at his wife eyebrows raised…
"Maybe we should try a different setting…"
"like?" I'm not sure I like what I think she is saying.
"I don't know… maybe you could pretend to have…a one-night stand or something…"
"And you'd be watching?" Blaise smirks knowingly to her.
"Well no, I'm not a pervert…"
"Could have fooled me…ouch!" I kicked Blaise under the table and not as kindly as I did Daph…
"Crazy lady! Handmaid can't kick their commanders under the table!"
"I'll show you what Handmaid can or can't do!" I kick him again, but not as hard.
"Come on, guys! Don't you think it's worth a try?"
Truth be told, I'm not completely against it… could be fun … for a change…
Harry's eyes flash my mind… I love him! I will always love him!
In a normal situation, I wouldn't even be considering this… but this is nowhere near a normal situation…
My love doesn't do him much good if I'm dead… And my best chance of staying alive is to stick with these Slytherins, I consider my friends…
I refuse to feel guilty… this is for survival!
.
.
.
"So..." We are standing in Daphne's bedroom and it's ritual night again… She is eying us curiously…
"What do we do?" Blaise asks sounding unsure.
"I think you should play a little game of play pretend… Let's see," She smiles widely at me, "You've met at a bar… a Muggle bar… and you haven't seen each other in years… and you've ended up in playing a game of Never-have-I-ever… and it turns out you've never been with a Slytherin…"
"Is this a plot for your new erotica?" I ask sarcastically.
"poof…" She waves away my comment, "Build on that… I'm going to take a bath!"
She disappears into the bathroom, just like that…. like this was normal…
All the weird things become normal when you fear for your life, it seems.
"I could go with that," Blaise shrugs…
Well, what gives… I shrug... and suddenly he's standing pretty close.
"So Weaslette…" He whispers close to my ear…
"That's no my name anymore."
"Well, I'm definitely not going to call you Potter!" He trails feather like kisses in my neck and bites my earlobe.
I laugh breathlessly… how long has it been since last time… the real last time… if the rituals don't count…
"Never been with a Slytherin huh?" He asks with a low seductive voice.
He's tall and dark and well built… and completely opposite to Harry…
I look him boldly in the eyes… "Nah, I lied… Just wanted to get out of there…"
"Really," His breath is on my face and I feel this game already working, "Was he any good?"
I shrug, "Let's just say you have a lot to live up to…"
He kisses me and tangles his hands to my too long hair, that hasn't been cut in ages…
And as I kiss him back, memories flood back to me…
Because this is not the first time I'm kissing Blaise Zabini… He's my 'trophy room'… in the seventh year… when Harry was gone, and the world was dark… funny how extreme situations bring us together…
He pins me against the wall and I wrap my legs around him… we're not taking it slow… but this is part of the ritual after all…
Behind my closed eyes, images flash by… Images of Harry… when we were wild and young… and when we were married and tender… and Images of Blaise… last time in the trophy room… when we were joking and laughing and then suddenly kissing…
His movement is so different from Harrys, I couldn't imagine him to be Harry even if I tried… so I don't…
Am I guilty for not thinking of my husband when another man fucks me?
I'm not… and I'm not even sorry for that…
extreme situations need extreme measures…
We share hard open-mouthed kisses and I moan against his mouth…
It feels good… there's no denying… for a long time, I thought it'll never feel good again…
I look at him as he thrusts into me… and he stares at me with glazed eyes…
He's not Harry… but he'll do, for now…
It doesn't need much to send me over… and I bite down to his shoulder when the world explodes… and he follows straight after with a grunt.
"Well, I hope that did it…" I say as I adjust my red dress.
He looks dazed but nods and the same time Daph emerges from the bathroom. "You done?"
I have no idea why she looks so cheery… like she had a secret agenda…
maybe I'll never know…
We sit in the kitchen afterward drinking a late-night tea… or in Daphne's case wine… I drink some fertility boosting tea that tastes horrible…
"Doesn't it bother you?" I ask her when I'm sure no-one else is listening.
"What?" She asks sipping her wine.
"What Blaise has to do?"
"Why would it bother me? other than it's sick and wrong that he's forced to do that…?" She raises her eyebrows at me.
"He's your husband…" I know it is, kind of, arranged… but there's definitely a connection between them… I've seen it.
"He's my friend… has been since we were kids. I was never romantically interested in him… I mean I'm glad The Law made us partners… I can't even imagine getting paired with someone… someone who truly supported it… but we're still mostly that… friends."
"Don't you miss it? Romance?" I pause, "Sex? I know I would if I was in your position…"
She laughs and takes another sip from her glass, "I said he is my friend… it doesn't mean we don't do anything."
"DAPH! It's forbidden! The spouses…" I start but she cuts me of…
"Come on, we do much worse things that are also forbidden!"
"What if you got pregnant?" I lower my voice so there'll be no chance anyone would accidentally hear us.
"I won't… I've taken care of it. Don't worry we won't get caught… besides," She gives me her best Slytherin smirk, "He's my husband."
I have to smile at her… and she smiles back… and I'm glad she is my friend… I'm glad they both are… if this horror brought something good to my life, it was these people, these Slytherins who I could trust my life with… Who I know is on my side… and it gives me comfort.
And comfort and protection will be what I need… when three weeks later there are two lines in my muggle pregnancy test….
