In the morning, I wake up and find Nova there with some water. She assures me that nothing will change and that it was "on the house", and I just nod because I can't remember why she's saying what she is. A few flashes come back to me as she leaves the room and I'm not sure how to feel about the memory piecing itself together in my head.
Part of me feels like I've betrayed Amata, but the rest of me scoffs at the thought; there's nothing between me and Amata to ruin. Even so, I cringe and realize that I'd prefer to keep last night's events secret. The last thing I need is for word to get around town and to Amata; I don't want to have the town's gossip get out of hand and really hurt her.
After getting Nova to swear to secrecy, I take my leave of the saloon, hoping word doesn't spread around too quickly. As I exit the saloon, I glance around the city and notice Jenny Stahl's restaurant is opening up. My stomach growls and I make my way down toward the craterside cafe.
"Good morning," Jenny calls as I come near, waving as she wipes the counter. "Need something to eat?"
"Please," I answer, my voice still a little scratchy with sleep.
Jenny fetches the daily special, setting it down in front of me and accepting the caps I give her for the food. "So what's new, 101?"
I roll my eyes at the nickname and try to think of a neutral topic to talk about. "Not a whole lot. Gonna go talk to the Brotherhood and see if they're hiring," I joke.
Jenny grins. "They'd be stupid not to take you." She leans against the counter and sighs, looking up at the birds circling in the sky. "I wish people scrambled to join up here as much as they do over at the Brotherhood. It'd sure be nice to have some help."
I pause mid-bite, my brain kicking into gear. Amata won't be able to sustain herself for long, even if I leave her half my stash of caps. "Actually," I say, giving the woman a smile. "I may be able to help you with that. An old, uh, friend of mine's new in town and could use the work."
Jenny seems surprised but shrugs. "That fell right into my lap. But hey, I'll take it. Send 'em over today and I'll see what we can set up."
I thank her and finish my meal, hesitating before heading up the ramp toward my house. I pass by Lucy's shack and remember that I'm supposed to tell her how her family's faring, grateful for the reprieve.
Now that I've eaten and am sobered up, all the anger from last night comes rushing back, and I'm bristling at the mere thought of the girl I grew up loving. Any extra time I can have before heading into my house and facing Amata again is a godsend.
I knock on Lucy's door and spend a good half hour there, talking to her about the trip and reporting back on her family. After delivering my news, I try to drag out the conversation a little longer, but Lucy and I have never really had any common ground, so I let it go and let myself out.
Nothing is stopping me from going home now, and I let out a disgruntled sigh before walking across the walkway toward my house. My ire is still there, and I pause for a few moments before sliding my key into the lock and opening the door.
I step inside and find Amata thumbing through a book I'd left lying around. She glances up at my entry, stiffening when she sees me.
"I set up a job for you," I tell her. "Go talk to Jenny down at the Brass Lantern sometime today. She knows you're coming."
Amata nods once, returning to her book pointedly, as though she can't really be bothered with what I have to say.
I roll my eyes and head for the locker where my armor is. I begin gathering the ammo and other supplies I'll need for the short trip to the Citadel, saving donning my armor for last.
"You're leaving?"
I nod without turning around. "Dad knew how to get Project Purity working. It's up to me to help." I put the supplies into my bag, beginning to put on my armor. We're both quiet, and I'm clasping the last few straps when she speaks again.
"I'm sorry."
I pause, wondering what exactly she's apologizing for.
Amata sighs, and I hear her close the book and set it aside. "Look, I don't want to fight with you right before you leave and go do who knows what."
"Is that so."
"Yes, that's so," she snaps, letting out a frustrated huff. There's a moment's pause before she speaks again. "Can we just stop this? Can we stop fighting?" Her voice is thick and wobbles slightly, a sure sign that she's near tears. "I know you're hurting. I am so sorry for that. I can't change what happened. And it may be hard for you to understand, but I'm hurting, too."
I swallow, not really wanting to turn around and see her tears. She deserves to hurt some, and if I see her crying, I'm scared of how I'll react. It's far too easy to imagine myself sweeping her up into an embrace. As much as I've tried to suppress it, a small part of me is still clinging to the idea that Amata and I could still have something together. The rest of me is almost in physical pain at her presence.
"Sometimes I wish I'd never gone back to 101," I tell her darkly. "You could have worked it out and we wouldn't have gotten together just so everything would get so screwed up." I can feel how much the remark stings by the silence in the air.
A few tense moments pass and Amata lets out a shaky breath.
"You were right. You have changed. I don't even know you anymore."
The disgust in her voice cuts deep, deeper than I thought it would. She grabs my arm and turns me around, her eyes boring into mine. Amata studies me for a moment, tears shining in her eyes. Finally she shakes her head and releases me. "I don't know what happened to make you so different. You're not the person I fell in love with." Her face softens slightly and an almost trusting look appears in her eyes. "But I know you're still in there; you have to be. You're practically giving me your house."
She seems to want to say more, but apparently can't find the words and trails off into silence.
The emotions in Amata's eyes and voice have stunned me into silence. I swallow a few times, trying to figure out how to respond.
"You're not even going to try to defend yourself?" Amata asks a few moments later, her voice bitter.
"Defend myself?" I repeat incredulously. The mere notion sets off a volcano of anger in my chest. "Why should I? You broke me! You're the reason everything's gone to hell! And yet, here I am, giving you everything I have." I throw my hands up irritatedly. "I could have left you out there with the Enclave, you know. Maybe I should have. They'd have gotten you off my back." My voice goes so dark it even scares me a little.
Amata pales, looking extremely shaken. "Why didn't you, then?"
"I don't know." Not knowing only makes me more upset. I grind my teeth together and growl inwardly.
"Do you really wish they'd killed me?" Amata's voice is soft and trembles as the words pass through her lips. "Do you hate me that much?"
I nearly snap an answer out, but the words stick in my throat. I can't make myself agree with her question, so I just turn away sharply. I ignore her hurt intake of breath and grab my bag, slinging it onto my shoulder. As an irritated afterthought, I pull a few handfuls of caps out and set them on the workbench. It should be enough for Amata to get by before she gets paid.
"I'm leaving now," I growl. "I don't know when I'll be back, or if I'll survive. At least you'll get your guarantee that we'll 'stop fighting' that way." The last sentence falls out of my mouth without me even thinking about it, but I sort of like the stinging anger it leaves.
I move to the door and rest my hand on the doorknob, hesitating there. Amata lets out a shuddering breath, and I can't help but glance back. There are tears slipping down her cheeks and she looks like she's barely holding herself together.
Knowing that I did that to her makes me even angrier, and I yank the door open violently.
I step outside of the house, and just before I pull the door closed, I shoot her a glare. "Hurts being abandoned, doesn't it?"
Amata cringes and I all but slam the door.
I want to scream just to let out some of the frustration I have, but I know that Amata will hear me, and I don't want to cause a scene. Instead of yelling, I just start jogging to the city gate. Once I'm outside the walls, I break into an all-out sprint in the direction of the Citadel.
I make it about half a mile before I have to stop and gasp for breath. My lungs and legs are on fire, but the tension in my chest has eased a little. Thanks to the exertion, I'm calmer, and I spend a few minutes massaging a stitch in my side before continuing to my destination at a much calmer pace.
The Citadel comes into view a few hours later, the big crane inside looming overhead as I near. I'm pleased with my time; it's not even noon yet, which means I have the whole day still to get back into the swing of things.
The gate guard greets me with a slightly less condescending expression than usual, waving me into the Citadel. I thank him with a smile, marveling at the architecture and wondering about the pre-war use of the Citadel as I walk to the courtyard.
I open the door and step inside,nearly run over by a few trainees running laps the second I'm inside.
"Watch where yer goin'!" their trainer calls out, walking over to me. He's a bear of a man, and his power armor doesn't make him look any less fearsome. "Sorry about that," he says with a brusque grin. "These Initiates don't know anything."
I return the smile and shake the hand he extends to me. "No problem. I've had worse than getting my toes stepped on by a bunch of kids, anyway."
The man laughs, then takes a look at me and sobers. "You're James' kid, aren't you? The one who helped save Dr. Li and her crew." He rubs the back of his neck uncomfortably. "He was a good man. I'm sorry."
I nod, trying not to think too much about my dad. After the uncomfortable morning with Amata, my emotions are already raw, and the last thing I need is to get teary in front of the entire Brotherhood.
"Elder Lyons has been waiting for you to come back. The entire team's wanting to pick your brain for intel on Project Purity." He seems to already have a healthy amount of respect for me, despite my status as a common wastelander. "He's probably down in the lab, over there," he adds as he points to a door.
"Thanks," I say, trailing off in hopes he'll share his name. It'll be nice to know a few people around here since it seems like they're a part of the project now.
"Gunny," he supplies, turning to look back at his group of Initiates. "Drop and give me twenty!"
I take my leave of Paladin Gunny, feeling a little sorry for the recruits he's putting through the wringer. I head down to the lab, amazed by all the pre-war tech they've got stored.
When I arrive on the lab's main floor, my eyes immediately go to Dr. Li, who's talking with an older man. I head over to them, figuring she can point me in the right direction.
The man she's talking to sees me first and his eyes twinkle with a smile. Dr. Li turns to follow his gaze and looks stunned to see me. She stammers her way through an introduction, and I find myself shaking hands with Elder Lyons.
"I can see the resemblance," he says, studying me. After a moment, he continues, "We're all very sorry for the loss of your father; he was a noble man."
I just accept his words with a nod and a grateful smile. "I'm sorry it took me so long to get back to help. I had some... personal problems come up."
Elder Lyons nods understandingly. "No one faults you for it. The loss of a parent is devastating enough. Besides, the Enclave is at a standstill, as are we, with Project Purity. Perhaps it was best that you took some time for yourself."
Bitterness with Amata rises in my chest and I nod politely. If I hadn't taken the time to check on Vault 101, maybe I'd have saved myself a lot of hurt.
"We've figured it out," Dr. Li interjects, all business as usual. "Well, James did, really. We need a G.E.C.K."
The word sounds familiar, and I vaguely remember a lesson in Mr. Brotch's class from my youth. "Is that something Vault-Tec built?"
Both the adults nod. "It was created to make the wasteland liveable after the bombs fell," Dr. Li says. "We just had no way to get our hands on one."
A little voice in the back of my head wonders if the reason Dad took me to 101 was to check for a G.E.C.K. and steal it if they had one. The thought puts a sour taste in my mouth. "But now you do?"
Dr. Li bites her lip and glances to Elder Lyons.
"Our archives show that there is a G.E.C.K. in Vault 87," the old man says. "We would have gone to get it but I'm sure you understand that sending a squad of our soldiers would have attracted unwanted attention?"
I agree, having a bad feeling that I know where this conversation is going.
"Given the proper training and your intimate knowledge of Vault-Tec's Vaults, we had hoped you would take on the job for us."
There it is, I think wryly. I don't really have much choice in the matter; it'd be a slap in the face to walk out on them now, and my dad's dream would die. No matter what, I can't find it in myself to tarnish his memory like that, so I let out a sigh. "All right, fine. I'm in."
Elder Lyons beams at me. "Wonderful! We'll start immediately." He continues talking to me about the plans for the next few weeks, then directs me to the barracks and where to find my trainer.
I drop my stuff off in a locker in the barracks, then head up to the Bailey, searching out Paladin Gunny.
He gives me a look as I approach, tossing me a grin. "Couldn't you find him? It's a little confusing down there, I know."
I shake my head, holding up my empty hands. "Nah, I found him. I'm here to train. Elder Lyons said something about a 'fast track' regimen?"
Gunny smirks. "Did he now? Well, let's get started."
