Title: Skinny Love
Author: MysteriousSwaggerOfScrubs
Pairing: Callie/Arizona
Rating: M
Summary: A haunting tale of wealth and power, love and loss. Are one night stands ever meant to last for longer than just one night?
Disclaimer: All television shows, books, movies, songs, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work and the characters, events, and settings thereof are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
Four
The following morning, Arizona slowly made her way down the interior stairs of her home, her brow furrowing in question when she smelled the unmistakable aroma of a fresh pot of coffee percolating in the carafe. She knew she hadn't set the automatic timer the night before and, thinking Leah had changed her mind and come to her senses, Arizona smiled as she crossed the threshold leading into the kitchen.
Not seeing the woman she had been expecting, Arizona stopped short, sighing at the site of her mother seated at a high barstool around the kitchen island, the Seattle Times spread out before her and a steaming mug of coffee held in one hand.
"Mom?" Arizona questioned, surprised to see her mother in her home so early in the morning. "What are you doing here?"
Turning from the paper, Barbara Robbins momentarily regarded her daughter, concern evident in her every feature. "Leah called me," she simply stated, her eyes and tone of voice full of question and care. "What the hell happened?"
Arizona momentarily held her mother's gaze but, as guilt and apprehension bubbled up inside her soul, threatening to consume her, she was forced to look away, her eyes landing anywhere but the elder Robbins. She just couldn't do it; she couldn't admit to her mother that she'd done what she had.
"Well, are you gonna tell me?" the older woman quickly urged when Arizona remained silent for way too long. "Or are you going to make me guess?"
Arizona didn't even bother to hide the annoyance she felt upon hearing her mother's tangential questions; the other woman knew her better than just about anyone else in the entire world but, unsure of what to say, she stalked toward the coffee pot, grabbing a mug from the cabinet above and filling it with steaming hot liquid.
Meticulously folding the newspaper and laying it in front of her, Barbara knowingly studied her daughter, watching as she continued to move about the kitchen, shoulders slightly slouched, but her ivory face somehow appearing lighter than it had in years. It didn't take a genius to figure out something had definitely changed for her daughter; it wasn't difficult to notice the frosty chill that seemed to have thawed in the absence of her daughter's girlfriend.
"Come on, honey," the older woman urged. "You know you can tell me anything."
Taking a sip from her cup, Arizona then hopped up on her own stool; her eyes never once meeting the identical blue ones of her mother. Sliding the newspaper from where it rested on the countertop in front of the other woman, the blonde still remained silent as she too began to peruse the periodical.
Arizona could, once again, feel her mother's penetrating gaze boring a hole into the side of her head, but she held strong. She didn't want to have this conversation ever, but definitely not this early in the morning.
"Arizona. . ."
"She's gone, okay?" Arizona quickly snipped, unwanted tears beginning to sting her eyes. "She left. End of story."
Remaining silent, Barbara took a sip from her cup, momentarily staring out ahead of her before once again turning to regard her daughter. "Yes, clearly. I gathered as much. But, you're going to have to give me more than that, sweetheart. Otherwise, I'm not going to be able to help."
Unable to tolerate her mother's piercing scrutiny for a moment longer, the younger woman sighed and, shaking her head, she finally glanced up from the paper, a single trail of moisture escaping her left eye as she looked at her mom. "Leah said she was tired of playing second fiddle to. . .Kiera. She - umm - she said I don't love her like she needs me to - that I only feel obligated to love her."
Grabbing a napkin from the holder atop the counter, Barbara handed it to her daughter before silently watching as Arizona dabbed at the moisture on her face. She knew if she remained quiet for long enough, her stubborn daughter would finally crack and all the information would then come spewing out.
Arizona sniffled before letting out a watery sigh. "She said I was different after getting back from New York. She insisted that something happened while I was there, but I. . .it didn't. Nothing happened."
"Well, Arizona - did something happen in New York?" Barbara asked.
Arizona's head immediately snapped around in her mother's direction, a stern look in her eyes. "Of course not, mother," she incredulously huffed. "What the hell possibly could have happened?"
"I don't know, Arizona," Barbara quickly countered. "But, what I do know is. . .you are a terrible liar and have been ever since you were four years old, and you throat punched poor little Ryan Mayhew because he wouldn't play with you on the bounce house at. . ."
The older woman trailed off, lost in the memory of her daughter at a much younger age. "What was that little girl's name again? The one with the flame red hair? It was like a senator or a president or a first lady or something. . ."
Arizona rolled her eyes, but she couldn't help the nostalgic smile that tugged at the corners of her lips. "Abigail.
"Oh yes! That right. Little Abigail Adams," Barbara happily exclaimed before quickly getting back to the point. "But, anyway. . .why don't you go ahead and tell me what happened in New York and, this time around, maybe you could save us both the time and energy by telling the truth."
Arizona stared at her mother; she hated and loved how well the older woman knew her, both at the very same time. "It was nothing, mom," she vaguely stated in an attempt to ease her way into - or out of - this dreaded conversation. "I just. . ."
"Was she pretty?" Barbara quickly asked, a mischievous grin on her face as she sipped from her mug.
"Mother!"
"What, Arizona?" Barbara knowingly questioned, her daughter's guilt becoming more and more obvious with each passing moment. "I think that's an extremely legitimate question."
Rolling her eyes, Arizona shoved the newspaper to the side as she incredulously gaped at her smirking mother but, unable to not smile at the thought of just how pretty Callie Torres really was, she slowly nodded her head in defeat. "Yes, mother," she huffed, knowing it was all downhill from there. "She was - is - pretty. Very pretty," she relented, a pink blush rising over her cheeks as she vaguely admitted her indiscretion to her mother. "I find her miraculous, mom. Breathtakingly stunning. . ."
Barbara appeared almost giddy at her daughter's admission but, biting her bottom lip in an attempt to sober herself, she cleared her throat to better compose herself in the face of the gravity of the situation. "And you, umm. . .you. . .?"
Rolling her eyes and blushing even further, Arizona nodded her head. "Yes, mother. Yes."
Barbara gave a tight nod. "That. . .well, Arizona. That seems very unlike you. Did you, umm. . ."
"I know it's unlike me, mother," Arizona shot back. "And, because of it, I have ruined the rest of my life. All for a quick lay."
Barbara searched her daughter's every feature and, despite the strange amusement she was currently gleaning from this situation, she reached out, taking Arizona's hand into her own. "Are you sure it was just that, sweetheart?" She softly asked, the pad of her thumb gently rubbing over ivory knuckles. "Because, honestly, it seems like so much more."
And with that, the dam broke, bleeding everything Arizona had been holding inside for the past few days. She told her mother everything, starting with the haunting song Callie had sung when she's first laid eyes on, and moving on to the passionate night they'd spend together, followed by the great care and expertise Callie had shown in designing Leah's ring.
"A-and then. . .she followed me," Arizona admitted. "To the airport. And right there in the middle of hundreds of people, she told me she wanted to be the person who makes me happy a-a-and that she wants to be the one I love."
Arizona shook her head at the thought of what happened next. She had been in such shock by Callie's admission that she hadn't uttered a single word, turning instead and disappearing into the throngs of travelers milling about throughout the expanse of John F. Kennedy International Airport.
"Can you believe that?" Arizona rhetorically asked as she jumped up from her seat and began to anxiously pace the room. "I mean. . .she basically told me she loved me after knowing me for like a day. Who does that? Who has a one night stand with someone and then turns around and confesses their love for them?"
"I think it sounds romantic," Barbara dreamily mused, taking a sip of coffee, her blue eyes twinkling with mirth.
Arizona's mouth fell open in surprise, her eyes wide. "It's not romantic, mother. It's wrong. What I did was wrong, and now I'm going to pay the price. Leah is gone. Lillian is going to absolutely hate me. . ."
"What about her?"
"What about who?" Arizona asked in confusion.
"The woman," Barbara simply replied. "The gorgeous stranger you are completely smitten with."
"I am NOT smitten," Arizona argued, though she knew her actions were most likely completely betraying her.
"Hmm. . ."
"Hmm, what?"
Standing from her seat, Barbara crossed the room and, coming to stand in front of her clearly confused daughter, she reached out to gently tuck a strand of blonde hair behind the younger woman's ear. Staring into the eyes of the young woman she adored and respected more than anything in the world, she smiled the intoxicating smile only a mother could. "I know you are feeling bad about all of this," Barbara softly began, her palms now resting at the sides of her daughter's arms as she gently pushed her to sit back down. "No one ever thinks they'll be the one to succumb to such desire or temptation, but it happens. Sometimes our hearts know better than our heads, and we give in. And sometimes, it's the very best thing that could have ever happened to us."
Arizona shook her head, a tear escaping her eye. "Not to me, mom. I'd never do something like that. I. . ."
"But you did, Arizona. And. . .you liked it," Barbara gently interrupted. "And, I know what you did was wrong but, I have to say. . .it's been a while since I've seen you like this, sweetheart. This is the first time since Kiera died that I've seen you smile with your entire being while talking about anyone other than Lillian."
Looking up from where her gaze had been focused on her hands that rested clasped in her lap, Arizona sniffled as she met her mother's eyes. "I know it was a one night stand, but. . .there was just something about her, mom. She made me. . .feel. And, I. . .I haven't experienced that in years. I. . ."
Barbara nodded, completely understanding of what her daughter was saying. "Then you should go get her."
"What?" Arizona incredulously asked.
"Go get her," Barbara adamantly repeated. "I know you think it's wrong and that you should stay with Leah because you feel obligated and indebted to her for everything she did for you after Kiera died, but that's no way to live, honey. You need to do what's best for you, and you need to start doing it now. And if this. . ." Barbara trailed off, her brow furrowing. "What is this mystery woman's name, anyway?" she asked.
Biting her bottom lip, Arizona closed her eyes. "Her name is Callie. Callie. . .Torres."
"Well then, if this Callie. . ."
Barbara paused, her eyes going wide. "Did you say Callie Torres? Like Callie Torres of the diamond cooperation, Callie Torres? Like. . .the most sought after business woman in the entire country?"
Arizona only nodded, her eyes slowly opening to see her mother's excitement.
"Well, girl. When you decide to do something, you certainly do it right, don't you?" Barbara teased.
"Mother, please."
Barbara chuckled at her daughter's mortification, a giant smile covering her face. "We need a plan. We have so much to do and so little time," she exclaimed, tugging Arizona up from her seat and pulling her toward the stairs.
Arizona quickly followed, unable to do anything else with her mother's hand gripped tightly around her wrist. "What do you mean we need a plan?"
Barbara rolled her eyes at her daughter's apparent ignorance. "Well, first of all, don't you think you need to stop the order on the engagement ring you just ordered? I mean, clearly you don't half-ass anything, Arizona, so I'm sure the ring you had made for Leah is. . ."
"Holy shit!" Arizona exclaimed, now rushing up the stairs toward her bedroom. "Oh My God! You're right. I have to stop her. I have to talk to Callie. I have to tell her. . .but what about Lillian. I was just gone, and I don't want to leave her again. Not right now. Not when. . ."
"We'll all three go together," Barbara replied, waving off her suddenly distressed daughter. "It's been a while since we've been on a girls' trip. Now go. Find the soonest flight you can, and I'll take care of getting Lillian ready."
Running her hand over her forehead as she considered all she needed to do to get ready, Arizona paced the hall. "Are you sure? I mean, that's a lot to ask. I. . ."
Stepping up in front of her daughter to halt her nervously paced circuit, Barbara grabbed Arizona by the shoulders. "Yes, Arizona. I'm positive," she insisted. "Now go."
"So, your flight to Chicago leaves tonight at 8:32pm," Meredith read from a notebook she held in her hands. "You'll be there until Tuesday and then back here for two days until Thursday when you fly to California for the opening of the new LA store. While you're in LA you have several meetings, but you should be back in New York by at least Saturday afternoon. From there. . ."
Looking up from her list, Meredith gazed across Callie's office, noting the woman seated behind the desk to be staring off into nowhere. "Callie? Earth to Callie? Are you in there?"
Receiving no response, Meredith sighed, standing from her seat. "Callie!" she exclaimed, slamming her hands against the top of the mahogany desk. "Have you even heard a word of what I just said?" she asked, shaking her head when dark brown eyes finally began to focus.
"Wh-what?" Callie mumbled, straightening up in her seat. "So sorry. I'm sorry. What were you saying?" she sheepishly asked, visibly shaking herself from her reverie.
"My God, Callie," Meredith said with a sigh and a roll of her eyes. "Would you just pull her number up in the computer and call her? For God's sake. You can't go on like this. At this rate, you'll drive the business into the ground by next week."
With a slight shrug, Callie sighed before shaking her head. "I'm not calling her," she softly admitted, glancing toward her computer screen, her fingers tapping against the keys. "I just. . .I can't. Not right now, at least," she vaguely continued.
Watching as her best friend went about her work, Meredith momentarily remained silent before closing her notebook and resting it on her lap. "Why not?" she asked when Callie had remained silent for way too long.
With brown eyes flicking from the glare of the computer screen, Callie stared at her best friend and, noting the obvious concern written across her every feature, she lowered the reading glasses from her nose before gently placing them on her desk. "It's taken me a long time, and I-I don't think I realized it until last night, but I. . .I'm just not good for anyone right now, Meredith. I. . .I need time to find myself. Time to heal. I need to learn to love myself before I can ever possibly love someone else."
Meredith opened her mouth to argue but, realizing she'd never once heard her best friend speak so candidly about her feelings and her emotions, she paused, carefully choosing her words. "I know things have been rough since Lauren left, Callie, but. . .you deserve so much more than her. So much better. Lauren was a miserable human and I, for one, am glad she's gone. She brought you down, Callie. She. . ."
Raising her hand to halt the other woman's rising tirade concerning her ex, Callie closed her eyes, shaking her head in disdain. "I know you didn't like her. I know I put up with her for way too long, but can we please not do this?" she asked, a sheen of tears brimming in her expressive brown eyes. "Just. . .not today. Please."
Nodding her head, Meredith immediately felt guilty for bringing up her best friend's ex while she was clearly feeling so downtrodden. "I'm sorry, Callie. I. . ."
Shaking her head, Callie smiled through her tears. "It's just going to take some time," she softly interrupted, reaching across her desk to grab a tissue in order to blot her eyes. Looking at her friend, she was about to stop there but, with her feeling so very raw and exposed, something inside her inspired her to share. "I. . .I was pregnant," she softly admitted, causing the woman across from her to furrow her brow in confusion.
"What?"
Callie slowly nodded, her heart threatening to break at the sound of her own words. "I was pregnant. Five months, but I-I. . .lost the baby, and it just. . .I was crushed. I felt like I was dying, Meredith, and Lauren was just so. . .uncaring. So cynical and so harsh. She thought my grief was silly, and so, she left. Lauren left me because she was unwilling to give me the time I needed to heal."
Staring at her now sobbing best friend, Meredith opened her mouth several times to speak but, coming up with nothing, she merely cleared her throat. "I. . .I had no idea, Callie. Why didn't you tell me? Why wouldn't you tell me something like that? Why would you keep that to yourself when I could have helped?"
With a pathetic sniffle and a watery sigh, Callie shook her head as she spoke. "No one knew, Meredith. And no one could have helped," she sadly admitted. "There were so many times I wanted to tell you, but Lauren always stopped me. She wanted to make a big, grand announcement, and we were about to tell everyone - to make that announcement - when I lost my baby girl."
Meredith remained quiet for several long moments, her mind racing as the events of the past six months began to make more and more sense. "I'm so sorry, Callie. I. . .I really don't know what else to say," she admitted before standing from her seat and rounding Callie's desk.
Falling into the smaller woman's embrace when she gathered her into a firm hug, Callie allowed the tears to fall. "It's okay. There's nothing you could have done, but I. . .I just needed you to know that all of this. . ." she pulled back, motioning around her own body. "It's more than Lauren. This isn't just about her. There is just. . .so much more.
Once again pulling her best friend close to her body, Meredith sighed before once again beginning to speak. "I'm here for you, Callie. You need to do what's best for you, and if being alone for a while is what you need, then I'll be here to back you one hundred percent."
Pulling a wheeled suitcase into a room of the Torres Hotel that she'd only left two days before, Arizona sighed as she hoisted it up onto an ornate luggage rack situated in the corner of the uber posh bedroom of the two bedroom suite she and her mother had reserved for the next few days. Quickly moving back into the living area, she carefully gathered Lillian from her mother's arms, the sleeping little girl's limbs now haphazardly shooting out in all directions as Arizona carried her into the bedroom, as well.
Waiting for her own mother to pull back the sheets and thick duvet, Arizona then gently settled the angelically snoozing girl onto the center of the mattress, taking a moment to lie down with her as Barbara excused herself to her own room. As she watched the light of her life - the very reason she got out of bed every single morning - soundly sleeping amongst mountains of fluffy white pillows, Arizona rested her own head in her palm as she lovingly ran the index finger of her opposite hand over the child's delicate features.
At the age of four and a half, Lillian Robbins was a stunning little girl; long blonde hair lay in perfect waves around her face, thick eyelashes resting against the prominence of sleep flushed cheeks. Tucking a stray lock of hair out of the little girl's face, Arizona smiled as she watched Lillian's nose slightly twitch, a soft laugh falling from tiny lips as something magical played out in her dreams.
Deciding to let her daughter sleep, Arizona carefully removed herself from the bed, moving back into the living area to grab a bottle of water from the fridge. Pouring a generous amount into a glass she found in a cabinet in the kitchen area, she sat down at a small table, her head now resting in her hands and a loud sigh emanated from deep within her chest.
She had no idea what she was doing here; she couldn't believe she'd allowed her mother to talk her into coming back to New York so soon after she'd just left. She'd argued back and forth with herself for the few hours between her early morning conversation with her mother and the time when they'd boarded their flight; she had, at one point, completely decided to forego this entire mission in order to go groveling back to Leah to beg her forgiveness.
But, something had stopped her. Something more powerful than herself. Something stronger than the obligation she felt toward the woman she'd been with for over two years.
"You should get going, Arizona," Barbara softly stated, careful not to startle her daughter who was clearly lost in thought. "I'll stay with Lillian while you do whatever it is you've decided to do with Callie."
Glancing up at her mother, Arizona's brow furrowed, confused by Barbara's choice of words. "What's that supposed to mean?" she asked, fearing that her mother had changed her mind and no longer backed her in this decision they had clearly made together.
Waving off her daughter's concern, Barbara smiled, taking a seat opposite the clearly distraught blonde. "I just meant. . .we both know you need to talk with Callie about cancelling your ring order. Then, whatever happens - happens. You just need to take it one step at a time, but. . .first things first."
Arizona nodded slightly, still feeling conflicted with just about every single decision she'd made in the past few days. "Maybe this was a bad idea," she nervously stated, her voice slightly cracking with emotion. "Maybe I shouldn't cancel the ring. Maybe I should fly back to Seattle right this minute and beg Leah's forgiveness. Maybe she and I are meant to be, and we've just reached a rough patch. She'll be able to forgive what I've done - eventually, at least - don't you think?" she rhetorically asked, standing from her chair and searching through her bag for her phone. "I'm just going to call her. Or maybe I should send flowers. I'll do both. I'm going to apologize over the phone, first and tell her we need to talk in person as soon as possible. We need to discuss. . ."
"You're rambling," Barbara simply stated, her demeanor clearly amused. "You ramble when you're nervous but, more specifically, you ramble when you're trying to talk yourself into something you know isn't right."
"Mom. . ."
"No, Arizona," Barbara retorted, quickly standing from her seat, her jovial demeanor instantly changing before Arizona's very eyes.
The two women stared at each other for several long moments before Barbara cleared her throat, preparing herself to speak. "I was there, Arizona. I was the one who told that doctor to amputate your leg. I was the one who told you that Kiera didn't make it. I was there when you screamed and yelled and hated everyone in the entire world. I was there. . ."
Arizona's body immediately went rigid, her hands falling to her sides as her mother spoke of a time that, at this point, seemed so very long ago.
"I was there. And, I watched you," Barbara repeated, tears beginning to brim in weary cerulean eyes. "Do you have any idea what that's like? To be forced to sit back and watch as your child completely loses herself? Do you have any clue what it's like to see your daughter in so much misery?"
Arizona didn't respond; she couldn't. She had no idea what to say.
"But, this morning. . .when you began to tell me about this Callie, I saw a light in your eyes that hasn't been there in so long, Arizona. A shining light that completely consumed you and made you whole again," Barbara explained, closing the distance between herself and the younger woman who now had tears welling in her own blue eyes. "And I want that for you, sweetheart. So much. I want you to be happy. I want you to be whole. I want you to live the life you deserve."
Arizona could only nod and, reaching up to brush the tears from her eyes, she then fell into her mother's loving embrace.
"It's time for you to be selfish and do something for yourself, Arizona. It's time for you to be happy. Again. No matter what it takes."
