I would like for EVERYBODY to read the following response to this flame. It really is quite ridiculous and, after reading this, I hope you go back to read the flame and get as good a laugh out of it as I did. Thanks! :D
This is my reply to the pansy who hasn't got a life other than make a fool of himself (not that I think he'll actually read it):
Flame Rising: Did you know that you misspelled 'Things That A Turd Out Of My Ass Could Have Writer Better?' Shouldn't it be 'Written Better'? Or at the very least, 'Could Write Better'? I have to say, your flame was less than helpful. The only time I have misspelled anything in this story is in the Mary-Sue's fanfiction (which, since you reviewed chapter 1, I'd guess you have not read yet). So if you HAVE found any spelling mistakes, please do not leave this ignorant, AP English failure in the dark. Please give to me the talent your left testicle obviously possess (and I'm pretty sure that that is the only place you possess talent)! Oh yes, that was called: SARCASM. And while I appreciate your kind gesture of interpreting your own email, I am perfectly comfortable with multi-syllable words. And as for the ignoring grammar part, it is my WRITING STYLE. First person thoughts are disjointed, random, and (in Pippin's case especially) rather hyper. Just ask Lady Ambreanna, who trust me, gives very HELPFUL reviews AND flames. She is the best. My Beta, Hasufel, has said that she enjoys this story very much; and if NRFTH sucks donkey balls, then why have so many well-educated people reviewed, favorited, ect...?? Lastly, I write for my own enjoyment. So please, take good care of that testicle since it is so precious to makind's wellbeing. Goodbye; and since I do not wish to appear rude, thank you for that oh-so-coveted spot. It made my day.
Isn't that hilarious? The moron completely set himself up with that C2 title misspelling. But I'm glad you all have stuck with me. Now, on the worthwhile reviews!!
Lady Ambreanna: Haha, no you're not over analyzing. That's exactly the problem Elrohir was struggling with; although, we may never know if Legolas was remember a prank. That would make an excellent short story. lol Thanks a lot! :D
Dark Morwen 863: I'm afraid that when I mentioned Legolas' upcoming chapter, I gave the impression that it was next. Sorry! It's either #5 or #6. But I hope Merry's is satisfactory. Thank you. :)
Telcontar Rulz: Yesss, yesss we must torture the elfses, mustn't we? Make them scream, we must. Yesss, my precioussss. Thanks! :)
the-dolphins-way: Yes, that's one of my favorite parts, but it seems not too many people have picked up on it. Thanks, and you're welcome! ;)
Hello Anyone There: Well...if you remember that three-way you suggested? That's still in there. lol He might. That gave me a great idea: Legolas trying to 'end it all'!! Haha, and sorry for the long wait, mellon nin. Oh, no I haven't read Terry Pratchett- I just like aglets. Is he good? :D
We stand victorious: Ah, I should try that sometime. angles head to side, opens mouth, waits for inspiration...fly buzzes into open mouth Thanks, and I will read it, if you recommend it it must be good! :)
I think that's everyone. And thanks SOOO much for those of you who added my story to your various alerts, favorites, ect... Virtual cookies for all!
...
MERRY'S POV.
My best friend in the whole of Middle-Earth has got to be Peregrin Took. But sometimes he doesn't have any idea what's going on. Course, I don't usually either, but I'm more likely to catch on.
Still, nobody can say that me and Pip can't pull a good prank. There was the time when we scared the wits out of Ted Sandyman by hiding under the bridge and used fishing hooks to pull his pants down. Not that he had many wits to begin with. Hobbit couldn't tell the difference between broiled mushrooms and stewed toadstools, which lead to several severe stomach aches, I can assure you.
Sorry, nostalgic moment there.
Pippin stands up and walks over to the couch, swaying his hips. It's hilarious. I'll bet Legolas is wondering why Eowyn's giggling. The hobbit stops and plays with a lock of his thick hair. Ugh, he looks like Hattie Chub primping after she's had her monthly bath. "Oh, how I wish my prince would save me from this utter boredom. I don't even have my other dresses! What will he think of me?"
Nice girly voice, Pip.
Faramir strides over to my buddy, kneels down, and spreads his arms wide. Looks darned ridiculous, since Pippin's about half his size even after the Ent draught. "I think no less of thee, sweet maiden, as thy beauty far outshines thy lack of extra gowns. Lo! I shall sweep thee off thy feet and carry thee into the mercantile, so that thou might look radiant for me, Leg-golas of Mirkwood!" And the Gondorian proceeds to pick up the (very un-featherweight, BELIEVE me) hobbit and carry him into the kitchen, all the while heralded by peals of laughter.
High-pitched squeals and coy statements are coming from the kitchen: "Oh LEG-GOLAS! Oh, I couldn't possibly! You WICKED elf! Oh, oh DEAR!" Too bad Legolas is missing all of this.
(A/N: Misspelled words are the fault of WarriorgrlxluvsxLeggolas' influence. Totally out of my contrul.)
"Ha ha ha, Faramir has you pegged out, all right!" Eowyn's laughing harder than even I've ever seen her.
Legolas grumbles into his pillow. It sounds like "Sthupid hobbigh...neber shoug hab rethued them from Ithsengarg..." Maybe it's a form of Elvish? Sounds rather queer if you ask me.
"You- really- ought to see- this- Legolas" Aragorn gasps. "Or- should I- say Leg-golas?"
Arwen's not saying anything, she's laughing so hard.
Elladan and Elrohir lean on each other, grasping their respective ribs.
Legolas finally extracts his head from the cushion. His eyes are bug-
Ow. OwowowowowowowOW.
I'm gonna kill that hobbit. As soon as I get my breath back, that is.
You really want to know? Okay.
Sam here was laughing so hard that he started to slip off his chair...and land on poor unsuspecting me. I was trying to stop my ribs from aching; the look on Legolas' face was priceless. Although now he's just red from rage, but that's beside the point.
Of course, I was entirely oblivious of my imminent squishing. Yes, squishing. Do you know how much Sam weighs?
I do now.
And of course Gimli has to spill pipeweed all over what's left of my popcorn. Not that I care right now, all I'm trying to do is breathe.
Dimly...through the haze...I hear an ethereal voice calling Pippin and Faramir-
NO I'm not being melodramatic! I really am half-choked.
"Pippin! Faramir! Come out here for a minute, will you!" Legolas calls. He's trying to hide the fact that there are tomatoes paler than him but it's not working. Pippin opens the door, "Did you- uuumph!"
Legolas sits pillowless with more than a hint of a smirk on his face, while I'll bet Pip will be spitting feathers out for the rest of the chapter.
Haha, get it? Throw pillow.
Okay, I guess that was a pretty bad joke.
Faramir halts in the doorway, looking from Pippin to Legolas to the pillow and back again before darting back into the kitchen. The sound of the door locking is unmistakable.
Real brave Gondorian soldier, that one.
Of course, I'm not going to tell you how Legolas grabbed Aragorn's sword and tried to hack down the kitchen door. Or how he ended up chasing Faramir round the room with the sword in one hand and a pillow in the other. Or how Aragorn was chasing him, yelling something about his sword and shaving Legolas' head. Or how Faramir tried to scale the balcony post to get away from the elf who was threatening him with public castration. Or how he almost fell off the railing, and Legolas dropped the sword onto Aragorn's foot. Hilt down, of course. Or we wouldn't have a Prince of Mirkwood anymore.
Nope, I'm not telling you any of that.
Edited! Hahaha, I heart this ending. And, for those of you who didn't understand the author's note, it's my British humour. Lol Next chapter, either Leggy-darling or the new character!
Remember our mantra? Multitasker...
