Chapter 4: My Never


And I had a dream that you were with me ,
It wasn't my fault,
You rolled me over,
Flipped me over,
Like a somersault.
That doesn't happen to me.
I've never been here before.
I saw forever in my never,
And I stood outside her
Heaven.
-Blue October

Lucas and Nathan sat at lunch on a Friday with loud teenagers running around.

"They really are annoying" Nathan grumbled sipping on his water.

Lucas mumbled in agreement as he kept his eyes on the brunette laughing.

"I had one kid throw a pen in class just to see if it would stick in a girl's hair" Nathan added on.

"Weird"

Twenty years didn't change much about how Lucas felt for Brooke. He wanted so bad to fix it and be with her but in all these years he thought if he just stayed away, then she would move on and find someone better. There were days where he had a weak resolve and wanted to just say 'fuck it' and tell her how he felt about her, but he didn't deserve her. Plus, she would never forgive him for the stupid things he did to her as a teenager.

If only he didn't make that fucking bet.

"Charlie was caught in the broom closet with Peter earlier" Nathan lied when he noticed Lucas was not paying attention to what he was saying.

"Fascinating"

Nathan slammed his hand to the back of Lucas' head.

"Shit Nathan"

"Stop staring at her, it's weird" Nathan informed and Lucas rolled his eyes at him.

"I wasn't staring at her. I was looking at the sign"

"Looking at the sign my ass"


"Char" Charlie spun around to see Duke chasing after her.

"What?" She growled.

"Why did you leave?"

Charlie had just gotten up halfway through eating and stomped away and of course the group made Duke come check up on her. Damn, they were annoying some times.

"Because I wasn't hungry"

"You're always hungry" He rolled his eyes in amusement, and it upset Charlie more.

"Can you ever be serious?" She asked with sadness, and he trapped her in the wall with both hands beside her head.

"Of course"

"Duke, he makes me happy" Charlie told him, and he shook his head.

"Like hell he does"

"At least he wants to be seen with me. At least he wants a real relationship"

"That isn't fair," Duke countered.

She pushed him away with as much force as she could.

"You hide behind this idea that my brother and everyone would be so mad and that's why you don't want to be with me. That isn't it though. You don't want a real relationship. You want fun and no strings. I have strings, strings that want to be attached. And I don't want them attached to you so stop. You do this every time I get a boyfriend, but I won't allow it this time, so stop"

"And if I said I wanted to be with you?" He asked her staring at the ground as she started to walk away.

She didn't turn around when she answered.

"I'd still want him"


Callie sat in seventh period feeling oddly uncomfortable. Why did she feel like this? She had never cared, why did it bother her all of a sudden?

"Callie! It is so good to see you!" Frankie smiled with her usually bubbly personality and Callie just wanted the bell to ring so Frankie would leave.

Maybe it was because it was Frankie.

It was such a weird match. And she didn't care for Frankie at all. She acted all innocent and kind when she was a runaround bitch.

Maybe that was why it bothered her.

"You see me everyday Frankie" Callie grumbled and Frankie scrunched up her nose at her.

"I was just being polite. You don't have to be so rude"

God, she was the fakest person Callie had ever met. She pushed her over glossed lip as far as it would go and made it tremble before racing out the door.

Ace walked up and plunked down in James' seat as people started to file in.

"Why do you have to be such a bitch? She was being nice." Ace growled at her, his accent stronger when angry.

"She has never been nice before. She's annoying and fake, and I don't like her"

"You don't like her or you don't like her with me?" He smirked as he said it, and Callie rolled her eyes.

"Yes, Parlson, it kills me you went and got a whore for a girlfriend. You have solved my case, way to go Sherlock Holmes" She mocked him and he shook his head.

"From what James said, I should have told you" He shrugged and she narrowed her eyes at him.

"James' is a dumbass that doesn't know shit. I don't sit wallowing in pity that you got a girlfriend. I don't care that much, Parlson" She hissed and his eyes flashed with disappointment, but Callie only saw annoyance.

"Of course you do. Part of you will always want me. And you hate that I don't want you"

Callie opened her mouth to reply when the bell rang loudly and James' sauntered in. Noticing the glare Callie was giving Ace, he decided to step in.

"Get up Ace." Ace shook his head standing up and started to walk away. "Leave my cousin-"

"I don't need your help Jamie."

"Oh shit, she's pissed," was what ran through James' mind. She only called him Jamie when she was mad at him.

"Don't try to fix things that are broken" Callie growled.


"Upton!"

Alyssa kept walking to the exit. Her hands started to shake and she sped through the halls.

"Upton… I'm just going to follow you" He said with a taunting arrogant tone.

Alyssa eyes watered in fear.

"Okay, don't talk. Doesn't really change anything"

She could hear his footsteps getting closer to her and her lip started to tremble.

"Hey, I'm talking to you" He grabbed her arm and she jerked away so fast that she rammed into two big bodies. She looked up in relief to see blonde hair that resembled hers.

"Get behind me Alyssa" Liam said in a low tone as he stared daggers at Bradley.

"I need to go. I need to get out of here" She rambled with shaky breaths.

"Come on" Reid grabbed her and pulled her away as Liam had a 'chat' with Bradley.

Liam grabbed him roughly by the collar and slammed him into the brick wall behind him.

"Stay away from her"

"You think that will stop me? You're baby sister always comes back begging for-"

Liam smashed his fist on to Bradley's cheek and brought him off the wall only to slam him back into it.

"Don't think about her. Don't talk to her. Don't look at her or I will completely fuck you up." Liam punched him one more time before dropping his hands, and Bradley crumpled to the floor.

"Stay away from her" Liam repeated before walking out of the school to find Alyssa leaning up against the wall with Reid in front of her trying to calm her down.

"I couldn't find my mom or Aunt Brooke or you guys, so I just thought I could just get to my car, and he was behind me and kept talking and he touched me and-" The rest was taken over by a cry of fear and Reid pulled her into a hug.

"It's okay. Ssh… Aly it's gonna be okay" Reid looked over at a defeated Liam.

They didn't know how to fix her.


Wesley rounded the corner not paying attention to the girl with the stacks of papers in her hands. He was too busy looking at his phone and it was too late because by the time he did see her she was sprawled out on the floor and her papers had flown everywhere.

"What the hell? Do you watch where you are going?" She growled not looking at him and he stood above her only seeing the top of her blonde hair with streaks running through it. He instantly knew who it was. Only one girl had streaks.

"Calm down Babe; I didn't mean to" He rolled his eyes at her dramatics.

The girl piled all her papers back together before glaring at him through heavily make up covered eyes.

"Wesley Sawyer. Why am I not surprised?" Her mouth quirked up at the sides as she looked up at him.

"Hey Babe" He smiled down at her.

Babe Bennett was the 'Goth' of the school. She didn't care for most, and kept to herself. She was looked at as an outcast for her bleached hair cut in choppy layers that flowed down in waves to the middle of her back that had pink and green streaks throughout. Her pretty violet eyes were covered by her bangs and a good amount of eye liner. She rarely was seen showing skin and wore dull colors. Never ventured out of neutral colors for her wardrobe and was once in a blue moon seen outside of school.

"You miss me, Wesley? Is that why you literally ran into me?" She smirked at the boy that towered over her.

The small girl was the only one to not be intimidated by Wesley Sawyer. It used to annoy him; it would piss him off that she could even form sentences around him, let alone sarcastic remarks. He soon got over it when he realized he liked her bickering and cutting him down more than any girl dropping to their knees just for the chance with him.

"Of course I do, Babe. I miss our daily screaming matches in the hallway" He shook his head at the smile that- he on the odd occasion saw- grace her pretty face.

"I knew you would admit your feelings for me sooner or later. I don't know if you realize this, but I am awesome"

Wesley let out a loud laugh which she soon joined.

"I really did miss you over the summer" He shrugged usually not so straight forward with her.

"Most people do" She mimicked his motion of arms.

"I like the change in the hair" He picked up a chunk of the bright lime green hair, and she snatched it away from him.

"Well thank you" She curtsied.

"You're in an excellent mood today"

"Not every day I get the star pitcher talking to me... and touch me. I can cross it off my bucket list." She beamed and his smile dimmed.

"That isn't funny Babe"

She grabbed his shoulders. "I know you have this undying love for me and all" He softly laughed at her words before she continued, "But I'm gonna be fine, it was a joke"

"Babe-"

"Stop okay. Wes, we talked about it. We can't change it"

"But what if I can?" He asked sadly, and she smiled gratefully.

"You can't."


"Brooke!" Brooke groaned and opened the door from the bathroom to see Lucas standing there with an angry look.

She had just gotten out of the shower to the point where she still had water droplets dripping off her brunette hair. She was dressed for bed and it was only six o' clock.

"Yeah?" She walked passed him to the kitchen and he followed watching her low backside.

"Did you hear about Davis?" He snapped and she rolled her eyes as she jumped on the counter and sipped on her drink.

"That he went out with a girl from school? Yes, I heard"

"Not just any girl, Brooke. Ryan Parker's daughter"

"Oh yes, he moved back a few years ago didn't he? He was such a nice guy. Really was… gentle" She smirked over at the fuming blonde.

The idea of anyone touching her made him see red.

"Why are we even thinking about allowing this?"

"Not really our decision. I'm sure she is a sweet girl" Brooke advised, and he walked over so he was right in front of her.

"If she's anything like her father, she isn't"

"You don't know her father like I do" Brooke shrugged and he placed his hands on either side of her.

"You knew him enough for him to screw you on a pool table" He growled and she shook her head.

"Technically that was Sam Sheppard. Carter was the first and then Ryan. Sam was on the pool table. After all these years, you still get that wrong"

"This isn't funny Brooke"

"No it isn't. Your reaction is. Davis is a grown man. If he wants to date this Parker girl there is nothing wrong with it" She placed her hands on his shoulders and shook him.

"Let it go, you dumbass" She mocked.

They weren't used to this. The closeness, the touching, the non fighting communication… it was like high school. It was these moments where they forgot they were supposed to hate each other. They would forget about their agreement of just being parents… nothing more.

It was these moments Lucas lived for; those small little moments where he had his pretty girl who smiled at him.

It was moments like this that Brooke loved; those moments where she thought maybe deep down Lucas actually cared. She knew he didn't. However, she had twenty years of indifference to show he didn't.

"Look at this, guys. Mom and dad in the same room and they aren't fighting" Brooke looked over her ex's shoulder to see all three of her children standing there with the same smirk etched on all three of their faces.

They really were too much like their father.

"I wouldn't say much Davis. I was pleading your case" Brooke told him with a parental tone as she jumped off the counter and away from Lucas.

"About what?"

"A certain Parker" She eyed him curiously as he rolled his eyes.

"You over exaggerate things. She is just a friend that I hadn't seen in a while"

"Yeah, right. You like her" Charlie teased as she helped Brooke get out ingredients for dinner.

"No, I don't. You guys are stupid" He argued.

"Here that guys? Someone is getting a little defensive" Lucas mocked and Davis groaned.

"I hate you all"

"You love us big brother" Tyree clapped his hand down on the brunette's shoulder.

"Well, I guess I'm gonna go" Lucas announced.

"Oh come on dad, just have dinner with us" Tyree suggested and Lucas cut his eyes over at Brooke.

She tried to avoid him at first. She didn't want to look at him, but she felt bad for her kids. So she looked up at him and shrugged.

"Alright, I will"


"Hey, baby sister what is wrong?" Corrine asked.

"I don't know" Callie mumbled erasing her mistake on her homework for history.

She tended to have trouble paying attention in that class.

"You just seem different. Are you sure you're okay?" Corrine sat down close next to her sister.

Callie closed her text book and turned to face her sister.

"Can I tell you something and you not tell anyone?" Callie asked and Corrine nodded.

"There's this guy-"

"Ace?"

"Of course…" Callie grumbled. It was always Ace. "And I don't like him"

Corrine gave her a skeptical look.

"I don't. I really don't, but his girlfriend is just awful and I just feel, I don't know… hurt that no one told me they got together. I don't know what I am saying or if it is even making sense-"

"Calm down." Corrine interrupted again. "Maybe deep down you have some sort of feelings for him?"

"No… no I don't. I just don't like her. She isn't good enough for him. She only dates him because rumor is back home, he is in line for the throne or something like that. He deserves better than that"

"You sure you don't care Callie?"

"No, I'm positive. We… hate each other" Corrine didn't point out how sad Callie sounded at the comment.

"Then why does it bother you?"

"Because there is that small piece of me that is still trying to be his friend, even though, he will never deserve it"


Ace sat in his lonely house.

He was happy. Frankie was a nice girl. She was fun and she did everything he asked. He liked her and for the last month he had a lot of fun with her. Then he walked into seventh period and there this girl sat. The girl he was taught to hate because of who she was. He was happy until he saw her walk in and frown at him.

Then when Frankie walked in, he had to force himself to pay attention and to not spin around to look at the beautiful brunette he was supposed to despise. Under other circumstances, she would have been a great friend. There weren't other circumstances.

They weren't allowed.

She hated him.

"Ace…" Ace turned to see Frankie prancing in.

Frankie was pretty. She was blonde, ram rod thin with pretty blue eyes. She was the exact opposite of Callie. Ace told himself that wasn't the reason he went for Frankie. He tried to not compare the two, but it was hard, especially when he has to hear Callie's laugh and her voice every day.

"Hey" he smiled putting the other thoughts to the back of his mind.

"I hate that you are in this big house all by yourself" Frankie climbed on top of him and turned to inspect the quiet house.

"I'm used to it" He shrugged.

She turned back to smile at him.

Her smile had been perfected. Her lips were shiny from lip gloss. She was the picture perfect girl. She made him smile but he didn't want to admit that he just wished he had Callie.

Frankie leaned forward to capture his lips and Ace smiled. He was with Frankie. Frankie wanted him.

Callie just hated him.


Sawyer once again sat in the music store. Every day this week Bentley Kellerman had stalked in here for one reason or another and he had completely annoyed her with his better than you antics. Not only that, every day a new girl hung on his arm. Sawyer wondered how many girls he had been with if in one week he had had seven. She had a feeling they didn't just go music shopping.

She was practically waiting for him. She knew it was coming. He came in around the same time every day. Today she leaned over her sketch book, with her pencil being pushed so hard into the paper that the tip of the pencil had gone dull seven times in the last hour.

She was on edge because something about him bothered her. Something about him made her tense and stiff and she didn't care too much for it. She wished he would just come in and get it over with already.

She heard the bell ring and she jerked her attention from the book to see him stroll in surprisingly by himself. She rolled her eyes as he rummaged through the boxes of records. They were split by genre then alphabetical and Sawyer couldn't help but notice he listened to awful music.

"Is there a reason you are staring?" He drawled and she glared up at him.

"You have terrible taste in music" She deadpanned and he raised an eyebrow.

"What would you consider good?"

"Beatles, Aerosmith, Led Zeppelin, Def Leopard- "

"No, you listen to awful music" He countered.

"At least I don't listen to that shitty rap you call poetry."

"At least I know music" he retorted.

"You do know my parents own the store?"

"You do know your parents don't sell rap records?"

Sawyer face stained a light pink as she realized her mistake. She turned back to her sketch covering her face with her wavy blonde hair not paying attention to the annoyance near her.

Soon she heard soft breathing close to her and she glanced up to see him leaning over the counter watching her.

"What?" She growled.

"You're Sawyer's cousin right?" He asked with his head cocked to the side.

"Yes"

"What's your name?"

"Sawyer" She replied annoyed and he shook his head.

"No your first name. What's your first name?"

She groaned and stared at the ceiling in aggravation.

"My- name- is- Saw- yer- Jagielski, Wesley- Sawyer's- cousin." She annunciated each word slowly. She broke up her names in syllables just to make sure he felt like a complete dumbass.

He just smirked at her.

"Why would you be named after your cousin's last name?"

"Oh my god, you are irritating. My mother's maiden name is Sawyer. She liked the name. It's the same reason, the counselor's oldest is Davis. The reason James name is James. It's how my family does things. Why would your parent's name you Bentley?" She hissed and he shrugged.

"Because it's a good name"

"Can I ask you something?" He nodded for her to continue. "Why do you come in here? You never buy anything. You just sit here, with a slut on your arm for about fifteen minutes and then you leave. You are the richest kid in Tree Hill, what are you doing in a used Record Shop?"

"I like the employees" He said with a husky tone leaning in closer and she pushed away from him.

"That usually work for you?"

"You tell me, I'm the one that has a different girl every day"

"It must be a sad life" She responded.

"Why?"

"Jumping from girl to girl knowing they are using you just as you use them. I would hate that" She smirked and he eyes slanted into a glare.

"No one uses me" He snapped.

"Are you sure about that Kellerman? Think about it, not like they call… they hang off your arm for a day, and guys instantly want them. Makes perfect sense to me"

"At least I have someone that wants to be near me. Have you ever had anyone want you?"

She shrugged.

"You tell me, you're the one that comes in everyday."


"You're helping with the dishes?" Brooke questioned with a raise of the eyebrow.

"Am I not allowed?" Lucas asked with a small amount of humor.

"You just don't seem the type"

"The type? You don't seem the type to cook"

"Are you serious? I have always been the best cook" She snapped and he chuckled.

"I'm kidding Brooke. Calm down"

"Whatever"

"You seeing anyone?"

"Does it look like I'm seeing anyone Lucas? They aren't really banging down the door for a woman with three children who has never been married. Guys aren't looking for a dirty slut" She grumbled.

"You aren't a dirty slut, Brooke"

"I slept with you, didn't I?" She countered and he gave her a glare.

"I'm not a bad person" He snapped and she gave him a bitter laugh.

"Really? Coming from the guy who fucked me, cheated on me, and then dumped me for money"

"Let's get a few things straight Brooke. I never cheated on you and you broke up with me." He was inches away from her face, and Brooke was thankful the kids were outside.

"At least I didn't bet that I could fuck you completely over!"

"No, no money was involved for you to do that!"

"What? You saying you cared all those years ago?" He didn't reply. "Yeah, I can tell by how the last twenty years you have never even tried to even apologized or show any remorse about what you did to me. I hate you"

"You could never hate me" He growled and she pushed him away.

"Go to hell Lucas"

Will you think of me,
In time?
It's never my luck,
So nevermind.
I wanna say your name,
But the pain starts
again,
It's never my luck,
So nevermind.

And I had a dream that you were with me ,
It wasn't my fault,
You rolled me over,
Flipped me over,
Like a somersault.
That doesn't happen to me.
I've never been here before.
I saw forever in my never,
And I stood outside her
Heaven.

Will you wait for me,
In time,
It's never my luck,
So nevermind.
And yeah I've lost a lot of what I
Don't expect to ever return.
I tend to push em 'til the pushing's turn from
hurtin' to burn,
I always take them to that place i thought they wanted
To go.
but end up dancing 'round,
This clown commands
Applause at his show...

I had a dream that you were with me,
it wasn't my fault.
You rolled me over,
Flipped me over,
a somersault.
And that doesn't happen to me,
I've never been here before.
I saw forever in my never,
And I stood outside her Heaven.
Her heaven.
heaven, heaven...

And I could only dream of you and sleep,
but I'd never see sunlight again.
I can try to be with you,
but somehow I'll end up just losing a friend.
I can only reach for you,
Relate to you.
I'm losing my friend.
Where did she go?
Where?

I had a dream that you were with me,
It wasn't my fault.
You rolled me over,
Flipped me over,
Like a somersault.
that doesn't happen to me.
I've never been here before.
I saw forever in my never,
And I stood outside her
Heaven.
I stood outside her heaven.
let me in your heaven.
I wanna live inside your heaven