Gawd I've just noticed that my story keeps coming out in italics, it's really annoying lol, well anyways, as you may have noticed, I make this up as I go along XD well enjoy more crackness at about 6:00am
Halibel and Stark were sitting in a three-seater on the plane; Halibel was in the middle, Stark was near the window and some creepy old guy was at the other side of Halibel. When the food cart came round, Halibel, completely independent over herself, reached over for a glass of water, thus placing her boob's in the old man's full view. The old man chuckled pervertedly and rubbed his hands together and reached over and- Halibel jumped, she felt something on her chest cavity… she looked down and noticed the creepy old man had a full grasp on her boobs. Halibel got her water and sat back down and drank the water in one gulp. The old man thought that she wasn't going to hit him, or hurt him in any way, so he turned to her once she finished her water. "Well my dear, did you enjoy that? Because I'm more then happy to issue the full package in the bathroom…you're certainly dressed for the occasion" Halibel cursed Aizen, or whoever the hell came up with her outfit; I mean why is it every else gets normal clothes and I don't? For god sake Stark looks like a skater, or a druggie, probably both, she thought. She was wearing some kind of green-blue belly button top (that stopped conveniently at the exact same place her arrancar top stopped, although you could see her mouth) that said "eye-candy" on it, under a jean jacket and was wearing jeans with sandals. It was pretty stylish, she thought, "but not much difference from my arrancar outfit" she muttered out loud. No one heard her and she saw the old man get up he turned around and motioned her to follow "are you coming my dear? I don't have all day you know" Halibel rubbed her temples, the amount of times this happened, even in Las Notches was unknown; a sudden flashback of Nnoitora grinning the same as the old man made Halibel sigh deeply. Halibel kicked Stark who grunted and glared at her; she rolled her eyes and whispered something.
Stark yawned and stretched, wasn't much point really; he'd be asleep again in about 2 minutes. Halibel motioned for the old man to come closer, luring him with a lusty smile (lol OOCNESS XD); when the creepy old man was close enough, Stark's hand shot out from behind Halibel's head and hit the old man on his neck. You could hear a small crack and the man collapsed in the middle of the isle.
Halibel hit Stark on the head "Your supposed to make him bleed, not knock him out idiot!"
"You could probably make the man bleed all over the couch, by pushing out your chest baka…" Stark muttered, shifting into a more comfy position. Halibel glared at Stark "what was that?"
"I said you can kick him in the crotch if it makes you feel better, I'm going back to sleep"
Halibel shrugged, got up and started kicking the old man 'this is more fun then I thought…' Some little kids came and robbed the man of his money, purse and medication and his dentures; right now, there was a little girl scaring her parents with over sized teeth XD. Eventually Halibel got bored; she'd been kicking the old fart for so long, he'd began to bleed in between his legs. She leaned back in her chair, with a smug look on her face and laughed when she saw a flying duck get sucked into the engine/jet type thing outside. The pilot's voice came on again "Hello Ladies and Gentlemen," Halibel snorted at the Gentlemen part "We will soon be landing in St.Martin, could I ask you to please return to your seats and buckle your seatbelts, as the plane will began it's decent now," Halibel buckled her seatbelt and laughed again when she saw 2 more ducks and a parachuter get sucked into the jet engine thingy.
Ulquiorra put on his seatbelt and looked at a rather bloody Arrancar Grimmjow; he rolled his eyes and pushed Grimmjow back into the Gigai; which was unmarked. Basically the gigai looked as if it had been knocked out; Grimmjow's actual soul, was pretty damn mushtified (mah new words oh yeah XD) Ulquiorra contemplated putting Grimmjow's seatbelt around him, when he realized how close to Grimmjow's crotch he would be. 'Yeah screw that idea, the idiot can die for all I care' He thought bitterly. He amused himself by watching Grimmjow falling backwards and forwards in his chair; seriously, it looked like he was trying to hump it, but was failing miserably 'Note to self; Remind Grimmjow of this EVERY SINGLE DAY'
Eventually the plane landed and Espada had stalked off as soon as the door was opened, although Szayel and Nnoitora were having trouble, because the grasshopper (and ants) had made a sort of home in Nnoitora's pants, which pissed him off to no end, because he couldn't move or else the bugs would make him rain dance again. Of course this was also a problem for Szayel; who couldn't move either, because the whale man's abnormally long legs had taken up most of the room of which he should be able to walk past; he instead tried climbing over them. Bad. Idea. Szayel fell on top of Nnoitora in a heap and couldn't move because of the bugs 'God damn it…' Just then two old ladies shuffled past and stared at the growling heaped pair "Oh my, lesbians!" One of them said, referring to Szayel's pink hair and Nnoitora's long hair (which is still in the uneven bunches XD, is there anything of that man that just isn't long Christ, if you say ANYTHING perverted…I'll probably laugh and fall off my chair backwards XD) Szayel twitched and Nnoitora resisted the urge to scratch his crotch, god damn there were a lot of bite marks he wanted to scratch. One by one people shuffled off the plane staring/nose-bleeding and/or giggling at Nnoitora and Szayel, and one by one, more bite marks appeared on Nnoitora's groin. Szayel carefully lifted himself up and dusted himself off; he swung around accidentally hitting Nnoitora's groin. Nnoitora snapped, the itching sensation was becoming too intense. He yelled and literally ripped off his trousers and ran out the plane, holding the ripped garments, yelling insanely and scratching at his "place" vigorously. Szayel shook his head and brushed off all the insects on his feet, then he calmly walked off the plane; seeing Nnoitora running around wildly, in his underwear…god that must be disturbing…well anyways
Ulquiorra, Grimmjow (now awake but groggy), Halibel, Stark and Szayel were waiting for Gin and Tousen to come out with Wonderweiss so they could leave fast, watching Nnoitora screaming and running around was entertaining, but it got boring afterwards, it was also really REALLY hot in St Martin, they wanted to get to the hotel to cool down fast. Grimmjow spotted Gin, Tousen and Wonderweiss emerge from the plane. Gin had somehow changed into a blue tropical flowered t-shirt and beige shorts with sandals and a sunhat. (LOL XD I CAN SERIOUSLY IMAGINE THAT) They walked over to the Espada, with Wonderweiss clapping and laughing at Nnoitora, who was STILL running around. Gin waved at everyone, with his freakish grin still in place (I'm serious, that smile ownz EVERYTHING 0-o) not really expecting anyone to wave back, he counted all the Espada in front of him (just so were clear they are now in the St Martin airport, before their tickets get checked D) and noticed Aaroniero, Zomari, Yami and the old guy weren't among them.
ACROSS THE ATLANTIC OCEAN D
"Ok, how the hell did we end up here?" Yami asked looking at all the rushing people in the airport, and a sign that said "Welcome to Heathrow Airport" in several different languages.
"You're the idiot that said we should go the plane" Aaroniero growled
"Look can we just concentrate on finding the others, before we get completely lost?" Zomari asked getting annoyed
"I've found out, we're in a place called "London" and St Martin is across the Atlantic Ocean" the old guy muttered.
"In other words, we're screwed" Aaroniero said
"Pretty much" the old guy replied, the four just stood in the middle of a busy passageway trying to figure out how to get across the Atlantic Ocean.
BACK WITH THE ESPADA X3
Gin shrugged it off and lead the Espada through to baggage collection, getting annoyed when Ulquiorra said he forgot where he put the passports and everyone had to look through their bags. Ulquiorra found it in his pocket after about 15 minutes of searching. Nnoitora was also being restrained from running around by Grimmjow and Stark, and was slowly turning calm, Stark held a pair of jeans over his arm, for when Nnoitora had completely calmed down.
Soon, after all the Espada had grabbed their luggage, they were piling into 2 cabs, family sized obviously, and having a humane discussion about the hotel. If you could call glaring and growling at Grimmjow humane. I can tell you this right now, regardless of HOW many Espada are shoved into a car (at this moment in time, there is 5 ppl in 1 cab and 3 in the other) it is not a good idea to keep them in said small enclosed space for more then 10 minutes. Hell. Will. Break. Lose. Ulquiorra was restraining himself from strangling Grimmjow; Szayel WAS strangling Grimmjow and Halibel was beating up Nnoitora for having the nerve to try and sneak his hand into her shirt. Gin nodded and took a picture when no one was looking; he stared at his new masterpiece for the scrapbook (named Stupid Stuff Arrancar do) and chuckled. Ulquiorra was reaching over to strangle Grimmjow with a glare on his face, Szayel was strangling Grimmjow, his teeth bared and Halibel had Nnoitora in a painful headlock. Gin had managed to squish himself in the picture doing the peace sign and his usual face expression in place.
Soon the cab ride was over and everyone was tired; beating each other up consumes a lot of energy you know. They fell out the car when Gin opened the door, although Ulquiorra had somehow managed to land on his feet, even when his head was leaning on the door that opened. Everyone got up quickly and watched the second cab come by. They had to walk through a short park (part of the resort) to get to the hotel, they were destined to stay at. They passed a sign that said "Welcome to St. Martin's Orient Spa and Beach Resort" and was decorated with colourful flowers and birds. "OI I CAN SEE SOMETHING UP AHEAD!!" Grimmjow called running up ahead, the Espada followed, albeit reluctantly. They discovered a large stretch of beach, over flowing with people near a crystal blue sea and lavish looking hotel.
"Oh…My…Aizen…" Nnoitora whispered. Ulquiorra looked at Grimmjow disgusted "Grimmjow, what the fu-" Before Ulquiorra could finish his statement, he was hit in the face with about 4 pieces of clothing, 3 boxers and, God forbid, a thong.
"NUDE BEACH!!!!!!" He heard Grimmjow, Nnoitora, Szayel and Stark, yes the lazy as hell Espada yell, as they ran, arms in the air as naked as the day Aizen made them. They canon-balled into the blue sea. Tousen and Ulquiorra cringed, Halibel shook her head and Gin's grin increased ten-fold. Ulquiorra peeled the thong (which had somehow got tangled on his hair) and quickly dropped it to the floor, looking at it in malice; he could just make out the scratchy initials engraved in it. Kinda like a backwards G and J, Anyhow Ulquiorra shuddered and stepped away from the article of clothing. "Gin-sama, you can't really expect us to stay here can you? It's-it's disgraceful!!" Ulquiorra asked. Gin turned to Ulquiorra "You know what they say Emo-chan!" Ulquiorra went silent "If you can't beat them," "Oh please dear god no…" "JOIN 'EM!!!" Gin was in full sprint, now butt nekkid as well. They (excluding Tousen) watched Gin follow the espada's example and canon-balled the sea, sending a large wave over to the other Espada. Ulquiorra nudged Gin's clothes, he shuddered, there weren't any type of underwear in the pile.
"Oh my god I can see their family jewels…" Halibel said shifting her head away. She went up to Ulquiorra and patted him on the shoulder sympathetically "Tousen-sama, I'm going to check out the spa, I'll meet you in the hotel, hopefully they wear clothes in the spa" She said to the blind man Tousen nodded "Don't be too long and be careful, I don't trust these humans… Come on Ulquiorra we have to go and get rooms" Ulquiorra nodded and lead Tousen to the hotel, Wonderweiss was busying himself by watching a lady's boobs bounce up and down as she played volleyball with her nude friends, it looked like Nnoitora and Grimmjow was asking if they could play as well. "Tousen-sama, be glad your blind" Ulquiorra said ignoring some girls who were trying to make their exposed cleavage bigger so he would notice them, it didn't work and they pouted miserably (no it's not me XD) Tousen nodded and grasped tighter onto Wonderweiss's hand as he was about to walk off somewhere.
Ulquiorra was stood infront of the desk counter; a lady was smiling sweetly at him. "Hello sir, welcome to St Martin's orient, how may I help you today?" She asked Ulquiorra thought over his words carefully and saw a couple walk by saying something about a honeymoon, he figured it was another human term for "Vacation" since one of the couple said "What a wonderful honeymoon were having!" Tousen was sit in a chair in the lobby playing with Wonderweiss, basically throwing a ball and Wonderweiss caught it.
"Um yeah, My partner and I are on this honeymoon, thing with uh, 6 of my friends, could we have 4 rooms for 10 days… please?" He inwardly grimaced at the thought of saying please, to a human, ugh how degrading, he thought.
"Hmm ok, Sarah could you bring me room keys, oh I'm sorry, what type of rooms would you like for your friends? We have, in order of expenses, the humble rooms, the house, rooms, mansion rooms and finally the imperial suites!"
Ulquiorra just shrugged "Uh, the imperial suites then, what type of room are my partner and I getting?" He asked slightly suspicious.
The lady smiled as she waited for one of the other worker to return with the keys "Your getting one of our special honeymoon suites, reserved especially for 'partners' to spend a lovely honeymoon! It's one of best rooms!" She said. The worker came back holding 3 keys with keychains of the beach on them and a special heart shaped keychain. "This one- she pointed to the heart shaped key and keychain- is your honeymoon suite, I hope you, your partner and-" She was cut off when a very wet and VERY naked Grimmjow stood beside Ulquiorra asking to get a towel, wait, asking? Hell he was demanding for a towel. Ulquiorra rolled his eyes and pointed to the bags, that were being loaded onto the bell boy's cart."This is my partner," He muttered as Grimmjow threw out random pieces of clothing onto the floor and pulled out a towel that had Number 6 and His name embroidered on it in curvy light blue writing (Gin's secret hobby XD) The lady behind the counter blushed a deep hue and nodded
"If, you c-could just sign h-here! As well as your friend's names w-we'll be sure to direct them to their r-rooms" She said holding a form and pen, Ulquiorra signed it swiftly in curvy writing "H-here, are your keys. I-I hope you enjoy your s-stay here!" She said just managing a smile back onto her face. Ulquiorra nodded curtly and began helping the bell boy pick up the clothes that Grimmjow had strewn carelessly across the floor. The lady told the bell boy where to go and Tousen, Wonderweiss and Ulquiorra followed quietly. The lady blushed more when Grimmjow came back looking for Ulquiorra. She was off shift when her friend's at the hotel noticed she was blushing
"Why are you blushing?" One of them asked
"I just gave a honeymoon suite to a gay couple!" She said shakily "And they look so cute together!"
Just then all her friends squealed as well as her, somewhere else Ulquiorra sneezed at the exact same time as Grimmjow.
HAR HARHAR well I hope I managed to mind rape you peoples, or at least opened you up to the world of pervyness lol XD well you know the drill R&R OR DIE MWAHAHAHAHAHA lolz hope you enjoyed that, it's not finished though, the adventure still has to happen, so as for now, LOOK FORWARD FOR ADVENTURES ON THE NUDE BEACH!!!
