"Honey? You've barely touched your goulash. Is something wrong?"

Lori looked up from her plate. Her parents were eyeing her concernedly.

She coughed. "Sorry," she mumbled. "Just, um...got a lot of homework to get done tonight, that's all."

Rita and Lynn Sr. seemed to accept that. Lori's sisters, on the other hand, saw right through it.

"I've never seen you get this bummed out over a lot of homework before, Lori," said Luan, trying to read her sister's hangdog expression. "You're not still hung up on getting detention, are you?"

"Yeah, it's not that big a deal," Lynn added. "I get detention all the time. It's so bogus that there's gotta be rules about not playing hockey in the halls…"

Lori didn't answer. She just forced another forkful of goulash into her mouth, despite her lack of appetite.

Luna blinked, picking up her milk glass. "Is it 'cuz I snapped at ya before? I'm sorry, dude, I was just kinda grouchy and exhausted. You know how it is - in my shoes, walking sleep…"

She took a sip. "But you gotta admit, the 'monster' remark was kinda over the top."

A sharp jolt shot through Lori's chest, like someone had just stabbed her in the sternum.

"What's she talking about?" Lynn Sr. asked. "Lori, I feel like there's something you're not telling us…"

Lori hastily got to her feet, scraping her chair. "May I please be excused?" she gulped.

She darted out of the living room and up the stairs before even waiting for an answer.

Rita put a hand to her mouth. "Oh dear," she muttered. "Teenager troubles, for sure. I wish she'd be more open with us about these things…"

"Tell me about it," Lynn Sr. said. "Trying to get Lori to open up about her problems is like pulling teeth."

Leni swallowed her mouthful of goulash. "Oh, then Mom should just have Dr. Feinstein talk to her! I mean, duh, right?"

The slaps of five simultaneous facepalms echoed off the dining room walls.


Lori didn't leave her room for the rest of the night. She tried reading her fashion magazines, but it only reminded her of how she'd never look as good as those models. She texted Bobby once she knew he was off work, but she couldn't bring herself to burden him with her problems...and thinking about him, seeing his words on the screen, only made her pine for his presence even more.

Eventually, Leni came in to work at the sewing machine on her latest project, jazzing up a poncho she'd gotten for cheap at the used clothing store. As she rummaged through her basket for pins, she took notice of Lori's defeated posture.

"Hey, Lori?" she began softly. "You had another rough day at school today, didn't you?"

Lori shifted uncomfortably. "It wasn't great," she mumbled.

Leni offered a hopeful grin. "You want me to tell you about my day? Maybe make you feel better, like last time?"

Lori closed her eyes. "Yes, Leni, I would literally love that right now."

Swinging around in her chair, Leni beamed at her sister. "Oh, cool! Okay, so get a load of this - I am, like, so proud of myself for how brave I was today! So, like, I was in the girls' room between fifth and sixth period, right, and it was the one on the first floor with the creaky window that never shuts, okay? So, like, I look up right in the middle of fixing my blush - and there's a spider right there over the mirror! O-M-Gosh, I almost freaked out, right? But then…"

Lori leaned back, ignoring the story, trying to focus on the sounds. It wasn't easy this time - being alone with her thoughts all evening had left her mind heavy with doubt and fear. But gradually, she felt it, the slightest hint of a tingle. Pushing the dark thoughts back, she did her best to focus on the positive, the relaxing state of semi-euphoria she'd been craving…

"...And there it was, flat on the bottom of my shoe!" Leni crowed. "And I went 'Ha! How do you like that, you six-legged creep?'" She giggled a bit at her own story. "Oh, I gotta tell you, Lori, I'm like super jazzed about how much time you and I have spent together this week."

Lori snapped out of her reverie. "Huh? What?"

"Y'know, how cool you are with us sharing our thoughts 'n stuff with each other," Leni explained. "I mean, not everyone likes to listen to me - I don't know if you've heard, but most people think I'm kind of a ditz with nothing interesting to say. But not you! I like that we can spend this kind of quality time together as sisters, y'know? It's really really sweet of you, so from the top of my heart, Lori - thank you!"

The tingles vaporized. The guilt came roaring back in an instant. Aha, Lori thought bitterly as her stomach turned over. There it is.

"So listen," Leni continued, "how about your day? I could tell you were a little loopy at dinner. You wanna tell me about it?"

Lori rolled over and threw herself back into her fashion magazine, trying her best to ignore the squeezing pain in her head. "Maybe later, Leni."

Leni's smile faltered and vanished.


Lori didn't dare look at her clock. She knew it had to be well past midnight by now.

While Leni lay sleeping comfortably, Lori was huddled in the fetal position, shivering and panting, her bloodshot eyes staring aimlessly into the darkness. Her thumb twitched spastically around the seek bar of her podcast app, as random snippets of Leni's voice bounced out of her earbuds into her frazzled brain.

"-the princess store, great for Lola prese-once saw Patchy Drizzle getting a mani-pedi in he-n't you just feel better about life the moment you walk in here? Sigh…"

No. No, Lori absolutely did not feel better about her life. This is what she had been reduced to, lying awake for god knows how long on a school night, with a bowling ball-sized pit in her stomach and an insatiable jones for that stupid tingly feeling, the only reliable way to relax anymore…

But it wasn't reliable. Lori had been desperately listening to the same podcast episode over and over for two hours. She had the whole thing memorized at this point. And the tingles were long gone.

I killed it, she thought, her eyes aching from lack of sleep. I literally killed it.

She could've slapped herself. Once again, she'd ruined her only chance at happiness. Why did she have to keep doing that to herself? Couldn't she ever learn to just leave well enough alone?

Jackknifing up to a sitting position, Lori ripped her earbuds out and threw off her covers. She needed to calm down and she needed to do it now. And if it was going to happen, she couldn't use the same old worn-out recording of Leni's voice anymore.

She needed a live reading.

"Leni," she whispered. "Leni."

She shook her slumbering sister by the shoulder. Leni mumbled incoherently and lifted her sleep mask. "...L-Lori?" she muttered. "What time is it? Are we late for school?"

Lori didn't answer. "Leni, get up. I need you to talk to me."

With a massive yawn, Leni pulled herself up. "Talk to you? About what?"

"I don't care, anything!" Lori hissed, her bloodshot eyes bulging. "Weren't you the one yammering about how great it is that we talk about everything? Now talk! Tell me about the spider again or something!"

Leni smacked her lips and tried her best to remember. "Spider?...Um...oh yeah, in the bathroom yesterday...um, okay, well, I was, like, checking my makeup or whatever...wasn't I? I think I was, anyway...and then, there was this...this spider, I guess…"

Lori's leg jiggled like crazy as she tried to focus on the sound of Leni's voice, and not the pounding of blood in her ears. But the tingles still weren't coming.

In Leni's state of semi-consciousness, her words were slurred and sleepy. The pitch of her voice was lower and foggier than when she was fully awake. None of the relaxing bounce that Lori needed…

With a groan that sounded more like a wounded bear, Lori leapt to her feet and started pacing erratically through the dark. "UUUGH! Perkier than that, Leni! Get with the program, will you? This is literally the most important thing right now!"

Leni rubbed her eyes. "Wh-what are you talking about, Lori?" she moaned. "Why is this so important?"

The tightness in Lori's stomach suddenly shot to her chest. Breathing heavy, she clutched her hair with clawed fingers and snarled.

"BECAUSE I NEED TO RELAX, OKAY?! I NEED TO RELAX BECAUSE WE'VE GOT SCHOOL IN EIGHT HOURS AND I CAN'T GET DETENTION AND I'M OUT OF SHAMPOO AND I HAVEN'T SEEN BOBBY IN LIKE THREE MONTHS AND I'M SCARED, OKAY? I'M SCARED AND EDGY AND I'M LITERALLY NOT ALLOWED TO BE, NOT IN THIS HOUSE! SO PLEASE, JUST SHUT UP AND TALK TO ME, ALL RIGHT? I NEED YOU TO...to…"

Lori stopped in her tracks. Her hands trembled wildly.

The tingles were back. But they weren't at the top of her head.

They were in her face. And they weren't calming or soothing, they were aggressive. As if her whole face had fallen asleep from lack of blood flow.

"Lori?" Leni gulped, a hint of worry in her voice. "Lori, what's wrong?"

Lori didn't know. She slapped her cheeks, but felt nothing. In fact, the numbness was spreading, down to her chest and arms.

She dropped to her knees, shaking uncontrollably. "Wh..wh…" It was a struggle to make her lips form sounds. "What's happening to me?"

Leni gasped. "LORI! O-M-Gosh, are you okay?! What's wrong? Tell me what's wrong!"

Through the ringing in her ears, Lori could hear doors in the hallway opening.

"Jeez, what's all the racket out here?" said Luan's voice. "You're wakin' everybody up, Lori!"

"Yeah, seriously, dude!" Luna grumbled. "Let me sleep so my teeth won't grind!"

Lori collapsed onto her side, staring at the underside of Leni's bed. She couldn't stop shaking. Her heart hammered against her chest like it was trying to break out. Fear gripped her brain, stronger than ever before, sealing off every thought except one:

I'm literally going to die.

"LORI!" A mix of voices. Her siblings were in her room.

"What's happening to her?"

"I don't know! She woke me up and started, like, freaking out!"

"Lori? C'mon, get off the floor, you can do it!"

"Don't try to move her, Lana, she could be hurt!"

"Somebody get Mom and Dad!"

Lori couldn't sort out whose voice was whose. She couldn't even move. The panic had paralyzed her. Her breath came in shallow, rapid bursts. Every fear and anxiety she had ever felt had converged on her brain at once, and it was like her body just shut down from the stress…

Two more pairs of footsteps.

"LORI! Good gracious, honey, what happened?"

"Luna, run downstairs and call 911, quick!"

"On it, Pops!"

A hand on Lori's shoulder, feeling like almost nothing through the numbness. Lori assumed it was her mother's by the softness of it.

"Lori, stay with us, okay? Whatever's going on, just stay with us! You're gonna be okay!"

"She's not gonna die, is she?"

"Don't say crud like that, Lucy, this isn't the time!"

"I'm being serious, Lynn!"

"I don't want Lori to die!"

"It's okay, Lola, she's gonna be fine!"

"What's wrong with her?!"

"EVERYBODY STAND BACK!"

That voice, Lori knew. There was no mistaking that lisp.

The crowd dispersed. Lori felt the presence of a small figure in front of her. Pressure on her numb arm. Then a small pinprick.

Gradually, the feeling returned to her body. Her face loosened up again. Her breathing became slower, less labored.

She squinted up at her bespectacled benefactor through her blurry vision.

"L-Lisa…"

It was all she could get out before her eyelids grew too heavy to open.