Disclaimer - I do not own the Mighty Boosh, this is just for fun!
Chapter 4
Howard sat at a little table in the corner of the cafe as Vince queued up for coffee. It was a nice, arthouse little place nearby to the flat and one of his favourite haunts. There was always light Jazz playing in the background and cool student types sitting round having debates, or writing in battered notebooks as they sipped at their cappuccinos. This was definitely Howard's kind of place. Somewhere for the philosophers and the deep thinkers to congregate over their daily shots of caffeine.
Although deep down, he had to admit the place did make him feel horrendously old. Bloody students.
Vince actually fit in much better than he did with his trendy fashion sense and boundless positive energy. Every single bohemian hippy chick he passed by momentarily put down her book of choice to check him out over the top of the pages, their eyes roving over his small frame hungrily. Vince hardly seemed to notice. Maybe he was so used to female attention that he had just become immune to the constant looks of lust from the strangers around him.
He brought over a tray of two frothy cappuccinos. "Here ya go... they got cinnamon in."
Howard smiled. "Thanks, sounds great." He picked up the hot mug, suddenly feeling a little self-conscious. What was this all about anyway? Since when did Vince insist on coming to places like this out of the blue? Something was definitely up.
They sat in silence for a few moments, just staring at one another awkwardly.
"Howard..."
Oh God. Where on Earth was this leading.
"Look Vince, if you're planning on quitting the band... just come out and say it. I can take it."
"Eh?"
"I mean, I don't want to go solo... I need my wingman don't I? But if it's what you really want..."
"What? No, Howard.."
"Wait... you're not moving out are you? Is that what you've been trying to tell me? Because if you want to get out of town to find fame and fortune, you know.. bring it on. Count me in. You're not going off without me, no sir, I won't have it!"
"Howard!" Vince exclaimed. "You've got it all wrong. I ain't going anywhere you daft Northern git."
Inwardly, Howard breathed a huge sigh of relief. "Oh right. So what is it then?"
Vince fiddled with the handle of his mug. It was hard to steer the conversation to where he wanted it to go, but he wasn't one for beating about the bush. At least... not anymore.
"Well... I've been thinking lately. 'Bout something I can't quite get out me head..." He felt his heart leaping around violently in his chest. It was beating so loud that he felt it was drowning out everything else around them. "'Bout us..."
Howard felt the hairs prickle on the back of his neck. He looked down into his coffee cup, anxious about making eye contact. "What d'you mean?"
Vince took a deep breath. It was now or never.
"Two years ago... when we were at the zoo. When we went out into the Tundra. You told me... you loved me."
Howard felt as though his heart had stopped dead in his chest. His whole face began to get hot and flushed. He kept his head down. "Vince... why are you bringing this up now?"
"Why have we never spoken 'bout it? I mean... it was... a moment. I honestly thought we were gonna die out there. I thought it was the last time we'd ever... that I'd ever speak to you... And we've just been going along like nothing happened. We got back into the zoo, back to the groove... we've had good times. Real good times. But why ain't we ever spoke about it?"
Vince looked straight into Howard's eyes, which were still fixated firmly on the table below. He glanced up, embarrassed, and caught the younger man's gaze. He had never seen him look this way before... so serious. Was that pity in his eyes? He just couldn't take this humiliation. Not again.
"There's nothing to say," he laughed in a forced tone. "It was nothing! Why are you bringing this up now? Don't be silly!"
Vince wasn't really sure what had changed, what the trigger had been to finally talk about this. He had tried to be subtle and sensitive over the last few years. He had given Howard all the time and space in the world. He had hinted and suggested at his intentions so many times, hoping that one day he would finally get it and be ready to confront all the feelings that seemed to constantly buzz around them like flies. But someone had to make the first move. He needed to know that this was real and not just in his imagination. Surely Howard felt the same way? After all these years, surely there was more to their relationship than met the eye...
"Did you mean it?" Vince asked the question with true sincerity, and not a hint of laughter in his voice.
"Did I mean what?"
"That you loved me."
Howard wanted to get up and run. This conversation was not happening. Why did Vince have to show him up like this for a second time around. He had made his feelings quite clear the first time. Why couldn't he just drop it and pretend it never happened like any normal person would. Did their friendship mean that little to him? He didn't want to have his heart stomped on all over again. It's not like he ever dared to hope anything would happen between them, he wasn't that naive. He was just happy to have Vince in his life, even if it was just as a friend. Why was he raking all this up and ruining everything?
He cleared his throat, trying to make himself sound natural and non-chalant. "Sure, course I love you Vince. And I love Naboo. And I love Bollo. And I love this cafe. There's a lot of love in old Howard Moon ready to be shared with the world. So... you know..."
Vince felt his heart drop into his stomach. He couldn't quite tell if Howard was being honest or not. But he suddenly felt very silly, like he'd been holding completely the wrong end of the stick over all these years. In fact, like he'd imagined the stick altogether.
"So... you didn't mean anything by it then?"
"I don't quite get what you mean," Howard lied. "It's not like...you know... it's not like I was confessing some kind of secret undying love for you or something." He laughed, somewhat hysterically. "Wow imagine that. Don't tell me that's what you were thinking eh? Very funny Mr. Noir, you had me going there."
"Right..." Vince replied simply. "Yeah, crazy thoughts eh."
They both sipped their drinks, the conversation abruptly at an end.
