A/N: Well here is chapter four finally. Enjoy my friends!

Private Tamama: Well, next chapter will be the Forsaken Fortress but here is some entertaining pirate ship shtuff to tide you over

Shadow Authoress: You get into character wonderfully, deah.

Gwenhwyvar: Quill dominates all before him. Yes, this follows the game except for some of the script which is edited considering Link is not alone.

Chapter Four

Call Me 'Swabbie' One More Time

We had spent about three hours on the pirate ship and Link had not moved one inch. I, however, had engaged myself in a game of poker, won by cheating, gotten caught, and run around the ship being chased by three very angry pirates before Tetra called us all morons and told us to shut up. Then, Tetra ordered Link and I below decks to keep us, or rather me, out of their way. As we trudged down the stairs, Link randomly said "You shouldn't have cheated, Lori". I rolled my eyes. "I gave them their money back, but I was bored" I whined. Link gave me a look that said he didn't think that was a good excuse, but my response was cut off. "Oh! Well now! Ahoy there, swabbies!" came a high, ratty voice.

"No" I moaned, but my worst fears had been confirmed. In front of us, standing at about four feet tall, was a rather dirty, buck toothed pirate. He looked up at us, unperturbed by the obvious height difference, and proceeded to speak in an all-important voice. "As of today... EH-HEH-AHEM!" he coughed loudly as he noticed I was whacking myself on the head with my fist. Once I had stopped, he proceeded: "I am your superior...Niko! Now, I promise I'll go easy on you so you do as I say, OK?" Link and I just stared blankly, so Niko continued "Right! Now, first off, you have to take the test all new pirates have to take. It's a bit of a doozy, so get ready!" he said in a foreboding voice, obviously trying to intimidate us

Niko then went into a dull ramble about how to complete the test we had to take: make it across the room without touching the floor by jumping on platforms and ropes. I had a look of utmost boredom on my face, but I was a little uneasy about this test. I would rather not fall ten feet, swing from a rope, or be mocked by a small, idiotic pirate. I knew Link could do it, but my reflexes and aim weren't exactly…well they were terrible to be quite frank.

I returned to reality just as Niko started trying to intimidate us again. "It will probably take you at least one year before you're good enough to make it all the way here" sighed Niko in mock pity for us "One rough year. One tough year, full of bumps and bruises. Of course, if you manage to do it faster, I'll reward you! Now, give it a try! This ought to be good for a chuckle or two!" Niko climbed down the ladder, scurried across the floor, and climbed up the other ladder at the opposite end of the room.

Pointing at us, Niko yelled "You first, Girl Swabbie". "I swear" I fumed "if he calls me 'swabbie' one more time-wait, did he just say I'm first!" I turned, mortified to Link. He nodded. I grimaced. "Oh…shit" I muttered. Link looked at me in question. "What does that mean?" he asked. I glanced at him and grinned to myself. "Same thing as kuso" I said, remembering what I knew of the Hylian language. Link raised his eyebrows and looked rather surprised. "Oh" he said, but then looked back at me. "In what language?" he asked. Before I could answer, Niko yelled for me to hurry it up. "If I die" I said out of the corner of my mouth to Link "toss him overboard". Link smiled and saluted me as I turned to the switch.

"I hate my life" I muttered as I stepped on the switch. Turning to the platform in front of me, I leapt over to it. "I really hate my life" I grumbled as I stood and looked at the rope in front of me. "And I am going to die" I sighed. I jumped into the air, barely caught myself on the rope, and managed to get some rather nasty rope burn on my hands. I opened my eyes and looked around. "Ha!" I yelled triumphantly "I made it!" I turned on the rope so I was looking at Link. "Hey, Link! I made it, isn't that cool?" I yelled towards him, grinning. "That's wonderful, Lori" he said "but you are running out of time!"

I glared at him. "Alright, I know, don't rush me!" I yelled back as I turned to face the platform. I looked from the rope to the platform, then back at the rope, then at the platform, then at Niko scratching his nose, then at a fly in front of me. "Lori!" Link bellowed over at me, frustrated. "I'm going!" I yelled back. I swung forward on the rope and landed on the platform in front of me. Turning to face the next rope, I hesitated before jumping. "You're going to run out of time" Link nagged. I glowered at him, jumped, and hung on the rope for a few seconds as I turned. "Lori, you are not going to make it" Link called over. "Hush!" I snapped at him as I swung to the next rope.

"The ticking is getting faster!" Link said loudly. "Link, I am aware of this" I said through gritted teeth as I jumped onto a platform. A few seconds of silence, then "You're going too slow". "Link, hush" I yelled back as I swung on the last rope. "Lori…Lori the ticking is getting-" Link yelled in a panic. "Link!" I roared as I leapt off the platform "if you do not shut your trap this very instant I am going to hang you from the crows nest by your feet and so help me-". I stopped as I noticed Link was laughing like crazy. "…did I miss something?" I asked in a small voice. Pausing for a moment, Link choked out "T-turn around" before he resumed laughing his hat off. I turned slowly, just as the ticking stopped.

"Whaaaat? You did it already?" Niko squeaked in shock "... I... I... I'm proud to have you as... As my... As my... underling!" he said, regaining composure. I was stunned for a few seconds, but then a light bulb went on in my head. "Link!" I bellowed, half laughing. "Yes?" came a voice from right behind me. Niko and I screamed and I whipped around. Link was standing their, grinned elfishly. Niko and I had been so preoccupied; we hadn't even noticed the ticking restart and Link make it across.

I mouthed stupidly. "Let me guess" Link said in mock puzzlement "you just figured out that I bugged you so you'd be annoyed with me instead of scared?" he looked at me, obviously enjoying my shock. "Yes" I said finally and I smiled at him. We heard Niko muttering to himself. I turned around and Link stepped forward so we stood shoulder to shoulder in front of him. Niko looked up at us. "All right, swabbies!" he said in his high-and-mighty voice "I'll tell you what! You can have the treasure in that chest over there! It's your reward from the great and generous Niko! Hurry and take it before someone comes!"

Link and I ran around Niko and into the room with the chest. Link opened it at once. Inside were two purple bags with designs on them that resembled strange faces. As Link leaned into the chest to pull them out, I hummed the tune again. "You got the Spoils Bag!" I said once again "You can keep the items you get from enemies in this handy pouch. It can hold up to 8 types of items. Press Y, Z, or X on the Items screen to see what's inside. Press Y, Z, or X again to set and use one of its contents". Link abruptly pulled his front half out of the trunk and looked at me suspiciously. "What?" I asked innocently. Before Link could answer, we heard a voice. "Hey! Link! Loria! We've reached the Forsaken Fortress! Hurry and get up here!" Tetra yelled down at us.