The namesake
Scene: a reception room in the newly (or re-)built palace at Annuminas. Faramir, on a formal visit to Arnor, has been receiving courtesy calls from Very Important Persons all morning and has been on the whole politely bored, but he's rather looking forward to the next encounter.
As the previous caller bows out, a penetrating whisper is heard from the anteroom.
Pippin. Bless us, child, whatever happened to your feet? Didn't you brush your toes this morning?
Faramir Took. Yes I did, dad, honestly
Pippin. Then how on earth…? But it's too late now, we're next. Whatever you do, just don't do anything to draw attention to your feet. And answer politely, or I'll know the reason why. (Inside the reception room, Faramir, with an effort, straightens his face and signals to the Majordomo to announce the next comers.)
Faramir. And before you open the door, take that grin off your face.
Majordomo. Er … sorry, my Lord. (Flinging the door open.) The Thain of the Shire and Master Faramir Took.
Enter Pippin and Faramir Took. Faramir senior (hereinafter 'P.o.I.') rises and bows ceremoniously. Pippin returns the bow with a flourish.)
P.o.I.You are most welcome to me, Master Peregrin, Master Took.
Pippin.(pleased, but uneasy) My lord!
F.T.Do I bow too?
Pippin (hisses frantically) Yes, bow like I showed you.
(F.T. advances one foot, decides it's the wrong one, advances the other, then remembers that he isn't supposed to draw attention to either of his feet, wobbles dangerously, and straightens up, hoping this will do.)P.o.I. (very careful not to notice F.T.'s feet) Master Peregrin, I am delighted to be able to renew our acquaintance and to greet the new Thain of the Shire, and his son and heir. Do please sit down. And Master Took, come and sit by me.
(The P.o.I. and Pippin sit down. F.T. gives his father an embarrassed look. Pippin motions ferociously towards the low stool that has been put ready beside the Prince's chair. F.T. sidles up, perches uneasily on it and gazes gloomily at his feet.)
P.o.I. Peregrin, I hope you'll permit me to say a few words to my namesake before we go on to affairs of state.
Pippin.Of course, my Lord. (He gives F.T. an anguished look, but is sitting too far off to feed him replies.)
P.o.I.Now, Master Took, I am particularly glad to be able to talk to you today, because I understand you have just had a birthday.
F.T.(horrified at what he thinks is the implication) Oh, Sir Prince … I mean Lord Sir Steward – I mean your Lordship sir …(looking wildly round at Pippin) What do I mean?
P.o.I.(kindly) 'Sir' will do.
F.T. Oh sir, did you mean I should have brought you a present? Because they didn't tell me, honestly, sir, or I could have done easily, I could have brought you a mathom.
P.o.I.(understanding the word in its Rohirric sense) A mathom? A treasure? There was no need –
F.T.(interrupts him. Pippin groans audibly) No, no, a mathom isn't a treasure, it's something you've got no use for but don't want to throw away. We've hundreds and hundreds of them at home. Mother said last week that either some of the mathoms went or she did, so she'd have been pleased if I…
(Pippin writhes in agony. Faramir senior exerts considerable self-control and his face shows nothing but kindly concern.)
P.o.I.I crave your pardon, Master Took, for the misunderstanding. You see, in my country it's the custom for people to give presents to the person who has a birthday, not the other way round.
F.T.(brightening) Oh, that's all right then. Have you brought me a mathom?
P.o.I.Indeed I have. That is, it isn't something new, but it's something I hope you will like. See here.
(He brings out a small object wrapped in paper. F.T. takes it eagerly.)
P.o.I.Be careful, now.
(F.T. unwraps a small knife in a leather sheath. He stares at it with incredulous joy.)
F.T.A knife? A really truly knife? Mother said I wasn't to have one because I'd only cut my fingers off, but I can keep this one, can't I, if it's a present?
(Both Faramirs look round at Pippin, who gestures helplessly.)
P.o.I.Your mother needn't worry, I've had the blade blunted. It can always be sharpened later, when you're old enough not to cut your fingers off. But to make sure, once you've had a good look at it, I think you had better give it to your father for safekeeping.
F.T.(wails) Oh, sir!
P.o.I.(very softly) I really think you should.
F.T.Yes, sir. Can I take it out of the sheath now, if I'm careful? (Faramir senior nods.) Oh, it's beautiful. What is it made of? Is it gold at the top?
P.o.I.The blade is steel, the finest to be had in Gondor. The hilt is gilded – not pure gold. Pure gold would be too soft. And here (he points) can you see letters? Silver letters?
F.T.Yeees, I think so, but I don't know what they say.
P.o.I.You ought to, because it's your name. These are elf-letters, such as we use for fine writing in Gondor. Look carefully: f-a-r-a-m-i-r. See?
F.T.(awestruck) How did the letters get there?
P.o.I.I put them there. My brother gave me the knife, when I was a little older than you are now – old enough not to cut my fingers off – and not long after that, I learned a little about the art of engraving from a craftsman in our city, and engraved the letters of my name. They aren't perfect – can you see where the tool slipped a little? – but I was pleased with them, so I always kept the knife.
F.T. But you don't mind giving it to me?
P.o.I.Not at all, since we have the same name. Do you know the story of Frodo the Ring-Bearer, Master Took?
F.T.Of course I do. I know it better than anybody else in the Shire. I can recite…
(He takes a deep preparatory breath. Pippin, who has relaxed slightly, looks worried again.)
P.o.I.Not just now, thank you, Master Took. I was only going to say that if you know the story of how we caught the creature Sméagol at the Forbidden Pool and tied him up, this is the very knife that Frodo the Ring-Bearer used to cut his bonds afterwards.
F.T.This very knife? Really and truly? Cross-your-heart-and-
(Pippincoughs frantically. F.T. gets the message and closes his mouth abruptly.)
P.o.I.This very knife.
F.T.And I can really keep it?
P.o.I.You really can. But now you must re-sheathe it and give it to your father for safe-keeping, as we agreed.
(Reluctantly, F.T. does so. Pippin coughs even louder.)
F.T.Why are you coughing, dad? Oh yes, I remember. Thank you, sir, thank you very much.
P.o.I.Well, Master Took, I think it's time we said good-bye for the time being. I have matters to discuss with your father. (He gestures towards a small table on which reposes a fearsome document entitled 'Gondor/Arnor import-export quotas: Draft Regulations: item 233A: Pipeweed').
F.T.Must I go?
P.o.I.Yes, but we'll meet again soon, I am sure.
F.T.(to Pippin) Should I bow again?
P.o.I.(hastily) I think it would be better if we just shook hands.
(They do so)
P.o.I.(to the Majordomo) Please show Master Took out, and (very softly) keep an eye on him until his father is ready to take him home.
(Exit F.T. with Majordomo. Pippin meets Faramir senior's eye and blushes miserably.)
PippinSir … I don't know what to say … How can I apologise for my appalling offspring?
P.o.I.(gently) Peregrin, I think you are forgetting three things. No, four things.
PippinSir?
P.o.I.(smiling) Firstly, anyone can see that he is a good lad at heart. Secondly, I owe you too much to take offence at any thing or person belonging to you. Thirdly, you have relieved the tedium of a very long morning. And fourthly (here he positively grins) I have children of my own.
(Pippin grins back, but hesitantly)
P.o.I.You still look worried, Peregrin. Is there anything more I need to say?
PippinWell, no, my lord, that is, nothing to do with the last quarter of an hour. The problem is…
P.o.I.Well?
PippinTomorrow morning he has an audience with the King.
(This is too much. Faramir, whose gravity has been under a severe strain, starts to laugh helplessly. After a few moments Pippin joins in.)
