Remus: 1 September, 1971

Remus Lupin was having a lovely dream. In the dream, he was in a meadow, surrounded by a peaceful wood. The sun was bright and high in the sky. A cool breeze brought the sweet smell of honeysuckle, and Remus breathed it deeply. He had been in this place before; he knew this dream, so he should have noticed the glowing yellow eyes watching him from the forest, but he never did until it was too late. He stopped to dip his hands in a crystal stream, sipping the fresh water and relishing the cold liquid in his mouth. He saw a patch of wild violets and began to pick them for his mother, gathering them into a bunch and imagining her smile when he presented them to her. She had always loved flowers.

Remus was just straightening up when he heard a twig snap behind him. He turned, far more terrified than he had any reason to be, and saw a large wolf step slowly out of the woods. The hair on the back of Remus's neck stood up, and goosebumps erupted on his arms as a shiver went down his spine. The wolf let out a low, menacing growl. Remus knew he should run, but he stood rooted to the spot, too afraid even to breathe.

As the wolf stepped closer, the world darkened in an instant. He knew without looking that the sun, so warm a moment before, had abandoned him to the clutches of the full moon. The wolf roared, the moonlight gleaming off its deadly teeth, and Remus turned to flee, scattering flowers as he went. The wolf leapt at him, pinning him to the ground as his ruined bouquet drowned in the raging rapids of the now-rushing stream. Remus tried to squeeze his eyes shut, but they would not cooperate, so he saw every detail as the wolf opened its mouth to devour him.

Remus awoke with a start. He sat straight up in his bed, his breath coming in gasps. He felt wetness at the back of his neck and brushed his sweaty hair off his forehead. He always had that dream when the moon began to wax. It was a cruel reminder that his next transformation was coming. Remus threw off his blankets, sighing. "As if I needed to be reminded," he thought bitterly. For as long as he could remember, his life had been dictated by the phases of the moon.

Remus shook his head, trying to rid himself of the last vestiges of fear the dream always brought him. He opened his curtains and let the sunlight pour into his bedroom. It always took away his fears like nothing else could. He opened the window and listened to the chirping of the birds for a few minutes and then made his way into the hall, intending to go to the kitchen and fix himself a bowl of cereal. When he passed by his parents' room, however, he stopped short. The door was shut, but he could still hear them, and his mother had just said his name.

"Do you think we're doing the right thing, letting Remus go to Hogwarts?" she asked.

"He wants to go," Remus's father replied.

"I know, Daniel, but I can't shake the feeling that something awful is going to happen if we let him go."

Remus listened intently to their conversation. He knew well that his parents were reluctant to send him to Hogwarts. When he first received his acceptance letter, they sent Dumbledore an owl explaining that his special circumstances forbade him from attending. Two days later, Dumbledore came to their home personally and assured the three of them that every safeguard would be in place to assure that Remus could attend the school safely. After a long and tense conversation, the Lupins agreed to send Remus for a one term trial. At the end of the first term, they decided, they would make a more permanent decision.

Remus's father spoke with a heaviness in his voice that always seemed to come out when he was discussing Remus's infirmity, "Dumbledore says he'll be safe at Hogwarts, and I trust him. If he says he'll take care of Remus, he will."

"But what if he attacks someone? You know what they'll do to him."

"What will they do to me?" Remus wondered to himself. He was always locked in the basement during his transformations so he wouldn't attack anyone else and spread the disease that infected his blood. That had always been his parents' worst fear, and it was his as well, but he had no knowledge that fit with his mother's statement. Who was "they"?

"They'll kill him, Daniel. It's too risky. We never should have agreed to this. It's not safe, not for him or the other students. I don't think I could bear it if something happened to him. And I know I couldn't bear to look another mother in the eye if something were to happen." Remus's heart almost seemed to stop beating in his chest as his breath caught in his throat. The words echoed in his mind. "They'll kill me."

"He could just as easily escape here," Daniel pointed out. "We can't protect him forever. He's growing up, Charlotte. At some point, he has to learn how to take care of himself. This will be an important step for him. And besides, we've already promised him he could go. We can't very well change our minds the day he's supposed to leave. He'll be heartbroken."

Charlotte's answer was in French. She slipped into when she was distressed or angry, and sometimes used it strategically when she didn't want Daniel to understand her words. Daniel spoke very little French, but Remus spoke it fluently. When he was young, she spoke it to him almost exclusively. The two of them would sometimes have entire dinnertime conversations in French, with Daniel protesting in mock indignation all the while. Remus would laugh until his food came out of his nose as his father feigned offense and swore that one of these days he was going to suddenly start speaking French just to shock them. Remus knew it wasn't true. Daniel had tried to learn French before the Lupins were married, only to discover that he was complete pants at it. After years of listening to him butcher it, Charlotte asked him to give it up and consider it an act of mercy.

Remus loved to listen to Charlotte speak French. Her mother tongue rolled through her lips in a familiar way that English never did. Her English was flawless, and they conversed in it out of respect for Daniel when he was present, but Remus cherished those moments when it was just the two of them and they could speak French. She expressed herself so much more freely in the beloved language of her childhood.

"Mais il reste vivant," Charlotte pronounced. But he'll be alive.

"No fair, speaking French," Daniel chided, a small laugh in his voice. Remus heard them rise and start to move around, and he knew he should leave. He didn't want to be caught eavesdropping, but he wanted so badly to hear the conversation that, against his better judgment, he stayed there, his ear pressed to the door.

"I know you're worried, ma chère. I'd be lying if I said I'm not worried as well. But we always knew we'd have to let him step out on his own eventually."

"I know," she replied in slightly accented English. "But why does it have to be so soon?"

"Time and tide wait for no man."

Charlotte sighed audibly. "I'll go make sure he's awake." She opened the door suddenly, and Remus fell into the room, landing hard on his hands and knees.

"Remus, what are you doing?" Charlotte asked.

Remus rose to his feet quickly. "I was just... I was... I didn't mean..." Remus stuttered as he tried to explain his presence.

"You were listening at the door, weren't you?" Daniel asked, coming over.

Remus nodded and dropped his gaze to the floor. He hated the thought of angering his parents on his last morning at home. He stole a glance at them and found that they were not looking at him at all, but, rather, were staring intently at one another, each reviewing the conversation to try to determine how much damage has been done. Remus had seen them do this sort of thing on occasion. They had such a deep connection that sometimes Remus thought each could tell what the other way thinking, and he had seen them have entire conversations through nothing but looks and gestures. He wanted to love someone like that someday, though he was sure it would never happen. What girl would have him, him being what he was?

"I'm sorry," Remus offered.

"How much did you hear?" Daniel asked.

"Everything," Remus admitted. "I didn't mean to eavesdrop. I was on my way to get breakfast when I heard my name. I only meant to listen for a second, but then I..."

"You don't have to explain," Charlotte told him. "It's hard not to listen when people are talking about you."

"You're not cross?" Remus asked, relief flooding into his belly.

Charlotte and Daniel both shook their heads. "No, we're not cross," Daniel said. "But you must have quite a few questions for us."

Remus hesitated a moment and then nodded slowly. Charlotte reached out and took his hand, leading him to the bed. He sat between his parents and tried to figure out how to start.

In the end, he didn't have to. As Remus struggled to make his mouth form words, Daniel took the reins.

"Remus, I wish with all of my heart that this weren't true, but the world does not look kindly upon those who are different."

Remus nodded knowingly. He had learned this lesson the hard way when he was six, and he accidentally let his condition slip to a playmate, the child of one of his father's colleagues. The child ran to her parents, terrified, and they left in a frightened rush. When they were gone, Charlotte spanked him for telling. Daniel nearly lost his job at the ministry when the colleague began telling people about Remus. Remus never had another playmate, and he never breathed a word of his secret to another soul. It wasn't worth the heartache.

Remus looked at his mother. "You said if I attack someone they'll kill me."

Charlotte let out a small, distressed "oh." She and Daniel locked eyes over Remus's head. After a few seconds of flurried nods and expressions, Daniel closed his eyes and took a deep breath, seeming to come to an internal decision.

"This is not the way I would have chosen for you to find out, but the ministry has very strict laws about werewolves attacking wizards. If you were to attack someone, no matter your age, the ministry would have you executed," Daniel said, as gently as he could.

"Executed," Remus repeated dully.

"It means killed," Charlotte said, running her fingers protectively through his golden hair.

"I know," Remus said.

"But you shouldn't worry about it because it's not going to happen. Dumbledore promised us he'll take every precaution to keep you and the other students safe," Daniel inserted.

"And if you are worried about it, you can always stay here," Charlotte reminded him.

"No, I want to go," Remus assured her.

"Tout sera bien," Charlotte said. Everything will be fine.

"Je sais," Remus replied. I know.

"Ne me touche pas!" Daniel said, and Charlotte and Remus both laughed. "Don't touch me," was one of the few phrases from his French lessons that Daniel recalled.

"Your accent is terrible," Charlotte told him, shaking his head.

"Awful," Remus agreed.

"If you're going to agree with her, you can just leave," Daniel said to Remus, pointing toward the door.

"Ton papa n'aime pas les blagues," Charlotte told Remus conspiratorially. Your father can't take a joke.

"Dommage."

"I know that one!" Daniel said emphatically. "Too bad."

"Bien fait!" Charlotte said, smiling.

"I know that one, too. Well done!" He turned to Remus. "I'm on a roll today."

"Tu es très doué," Remus told him. You are very talented.

"And now you've lost me again," Daniel said, shaking his head. "Are you two ready for some breakfast?"

"Ouais," Remus said.

"I'll go see what I can find, then," Charlotte said, rising.

Remus went to help her, but Daniel grabbed his shoulder and pulled him back, looking at him with concern in his eyes. "Are you sure you're all right? I know that couldn't have been easy for you to hear. Especially today of all days. As if you didn't have enough to be worrying about."

"Why didn't you tell me before?" Remus asked.

"We didn't want you to be scared. We thought you had enough demons in your life already without having to worry about one more. Besides, it's not like there's much you can do about it. Just... be careful at Hogwarts."

"I will."

"I love you," Daniel said, pulling Remus into a hug.

"I love you too, Dad, and I'll be careful. I promise."

"I know you will. You're a good lad. Come on, let's go see what we can find to eat in this house."

After breakfast came the flurry of last-minute packing, and no sooner had they left the house than Remus remembered something he'd forgotten and they had to go back. Remus ran in to get it and they set off again, only to have to turn around a second time. The third time Remus announced he'd forgotten something, Daniel told him they'd have to send it to him, else he miss the train. They arrived at King's Cross Station with only five minutes to spare and made their way quickly to the platform.

Remus looked at the scarlet steam engine and felt a surge of fear. He turned to his parents, trying not to think about how far away Christmas was. He felt his eyes fill with tears, and swiped at them, embarrassed by their presence. Next to him, a boy with messy black hair who appeared to be his own age was watching him.

"What if no one likes me?" Remus whispered to his parents. "What if I don't make any friends?"

"Why would anyone not like you?" Daniel asked.

Remus shrugged. "J'ai peur," he whispered to his mother. I'm scared.

"It's not to late to change your mind, Remus," she replied. "You can still decide you'd rather stay home."

Remus considered it. As badly as he wanted to go, now that the moment of parting was here he found himself filled with doubts. "No, I want to go," he said, sniffing back the tears. If he could face monthly transformations, surely he could survive boarding school.

"Take care of yourself, and we're only a floo away if you need us. Dumbledore has agreed to let you come home as often as you think you need to," Daniel told him.

"Au revoir, ma puce," Charlotte said, clinging to Remus.

"Au revoir, maman," Remus replied.

"Bye, Dad," he said, giving his father a fleeting hug as he ran to catch the train. He hopped onto the train and didn't look back. He didn't want them to see his tears.

He turned toward the train and began his search for a compartment, the refrain, "what if I don't make any friends?" echoing in his mind. In the end, he needn't have worried. By the time he went to sleep in the Gryffindor dormitory that night, he had a firm friend in Peter Pettigrew.

He was awake before the other boys the following morning. He tiptoed to the bathroom to wash and change, being careful not to make any noise. He was afraid to wake anyone. Soon after he finished and returned to his bed to read, Peter went to the bathroom himself, but he obviously had no qualms about waking the others. He sang so loudly in the showers that Remus was sure the whole castle could hear. Then he clomped back into the room and opened his trunk, rattling around in it. When he was finished, he dropped his lid so that it thumped against the body of the trunk.

"Would you be quiet," James Potter said irritably, putting a pillow over his head.

"Sorry," Peter said, not even attempting to keep his voice down. "Remus, are you awake?"

"How could he not be awake with you stomping around," Sirius Black said. "You better not be planning to do that every morning, or I'm going to start locking you out."

"I said I was sorry," Peter said defensively.

"What's going on?" Dirk Cresswell asked, sitting up and rubbing his eyes.

"Pettigrew decided it's time for all of us to be up," Sirius said bitterly.

"Stop it," Remus said quietly, working up his courage. "He didn't mean to. He probably didn't realize how loud he's being. He'll be quiet tomorrow, won't you, Peter?"

Peter nodded. "You see," Remus said. "There's no reason to be mean about it."

Sirius jolted up in his bed, looking as though he were going to let loose on Remus. Remus braced himself, his heart beating quickly in his chest.

"He's right, you know," James said, sitting up as well. "He probably just didn't think about it. I probably wouldn't have, either. I've got my own room and home."

"Me, too, but I know better than to go around the house singing at the top of my lungs first thing in the morning," Sirius snapped.

"You could hear me?" Peter asked.

"My parents could probably hear you all the way in London," Sirius said. "You were sharp, by the way."

Remus climbed out of bed. "Come on, Peter. We don't have to stay here. Let's go down to breakfast."

Peter shot Sirius an apologetic look as Sirius huffed and climbed out of bed.

"I didn't mean to wake everyone," Peter said as they climbed out the portrait hole.

"They'll get over it," Remus assured him. "They were all going to have to get up soon anyway."

"Sirius hates me," Peter whinged.

"He doesn't even know you."

"Doesn't matter. He hates me. He was awful to me last night. Accused me of stuttering."

Remus shrugged, not sure what to say. Peter had been stuttering.

When they got to the Great Hall, it was nearly empty. They sat at the edge of the Gryffindor table and filled their plates, watching as students slowly filed in. When James and Sirius came in, Peter pointed them out.

"Do you reckon they'd like to sit with us?" he asked.

"I don't know. Maybe," Remus said with a shrug.

"Let's ask them," Peter said, jumping up.

Sirius was waylaid almost the moment he set foot in the Great Hall by a seventh year Slytherin with brown hair. She said something softly to James and he nodded, retreating quickly to the Gryffindor table. Then she and Sirius began to converse in low voices. Remus thought it looked like a very unhappy conversation.

"Oh, I know her. That's Andromeda Black," Peter said. "I met her yesterday. She's Sirius's cousin. I'm going to go say hello."

"They look busy. You should probably wait."

"No, it's fine," Peter said, dismissing him with a wave if his hand. "I told you, I met her yesterday. We're friends."

Remus almost cringed when Peter walked up to them and interrupted.

"He's a bit thick, isn't he?" James asked, seating himself nearby and piling food onto his plate. Remus wasn't sure how to respond. He wanted to defend his new friend, but he couldn't really argue the point. Peter did seem to be a bit thick. It turned out not to matter because James continued. "This should be fun to watch, at least."

Remus didn't think it was going to be the least bit fun to watch, but he was far too shy to contradict James, so he let the comment stand and stared after Peter. It was like watching a train wreck. He knew it was going to be awful, but he couldn't seem to make himself turn away.

"Hello, Andromeda," Peter said, a little too loudly.

"Hello," she said, so softly that Remus could barely hear.

"Do you remember me from yesterday? From the train?"

"Yes, I remember you. How are you liking Hogwarts?"

"Oh, it's nice. I'm a Gryffindor, you know."

"I know. Listen, I don't mean to be rude, but we're sort of having a private conversation here. Can you give us a moment?" she said, not unkindly. Remus felt relieved. That hadn't been too painful at all.

"I told you I knew your cousin," Peter said gloatingly to Sirius. Remus groaned.

"I know her, too," Sirius said. "What's your point?"

"How's your boyfriend?" Peter asked Andromeda. "Ted."

"I haven't got a boyfriend," Andromeda said coldly.

"Yes, you have," Peter corrected her. "I saw you kissing him."

Andromeda's eyes grew wide.

"What is the matter with you?" Sirius shouted. All across the hall, students turned to watch. "Were you in the corner picking your nose when brains were being handed out?"

Peter's face fell, and his eyes filled with tears. "I have a brain," he said.

Sirius's anger faded visibly from his face. "I'm sorry," he said softly. "I shouldn't have said that."

Peter didn't seem to hear. He hid his face in his hands and fled from the Great Hall. Remus got up to run after him, but by the time he got to the Entrance Hall, Peter was nowhere in sight. He climbed up to the dormitory, but Peter wasn't there, so he returned to his breakfast to find Sirius sitting with James.

"Is he all right?" Sirius asked, almost pleadingly.

"I don't know. I couldn't find him."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt his feelings. Only Andromeda and I were sort of in the middle of something important."

Remus shrugged.

"McGonagall came by to give us schedules while you were gone. Here's yours," James said, handing Remus a piece of parchment. "We got Pettigrew's as well."

"I'll take it," Remus said, and James handed it over.

"It's almost time for Potions. You want to walk with us?" James asked.

"I should try to find Peter," Remus said. "Thanks, though."

"See you later, then."

Remus nodded. "See you."

In the end, Remus couldn't find Peter anywhere, and he was late to his very first class. Peter didn't show up again until lunch, where he was subdued. He refused to look Sirius in the eye or accept his apology.