4

The Comforting Stability of Bricks and Stone

Severus spends the next week preoccupied with the idea of seeing Hecate again. He is uncharacteristically distracted during classes. He takes points from Slytherin by mistake, spills invisibility draught down his front and spends half an hour with the middle of his torso missing, and barks quite unkindly at Professor Sprout. Severus tries to deny that all of this displacement can be traced back to the fact that he is frustrated beyond description that he can't simply turn and find Hecate beside him. Severus has spent many agonising years longing for someone who will never return to him. He knows what it is to have the irreparable absence of someone marking his life, and he knows now that, with the benefit of choice, he will not inflict such an absence on himself.

Severus has no intention of beating around the bush having come to his realisation, and takes himself to Dumbledore's office at the earliest opportunity.

"Albus," he says, the gravity of his tone making the elder wizard look up over his half moon spectacles, clearly bracing for some very bad news.

"I wish to discuss the prospect of living outside the grounds of Hogwarts."

Albus is surprised that this is where Severus was intending to take the conversation, and his face shows it. "Of course, Severus. Please, have a seat."

Severus looks at the chair on the other side of Dumbledore's desk, hesitates, and instead of sitting, tugs at the pristine white cuff of his shirt and remains on his feet.

"There is... a woman." Severus reveals, waiting for another flash of surprise behind Dumbledore's twinkling blue eyes.

But this time, it does not come. "Ah, yes. Miss Hecate Hardbroom, I believe."

The only indication of Severus' surprise is the almost imperceptible tick of the left corner of his lips. He shouldn't be surprised. He knows this. They were seen two members of staff and who could guess how many students.

"Yes." Severus drawls, dark eyes guarded. He is disused to divulging any information about his personal life to anyone.

"She has rather turned your head, then." Dumbledore observes.

"I have found myself..." Severus hesitates, wondering how honest he should be, how honest he has the capacity to be about something that makes him feel this vulnerable. "Quite unable to be without her."

Dumbledore smiles kindly at his potions master. "One of the more pleasurable agonies of the human condition."

"So some may say." Severus retorts, Dumbledore's warmth making his guard rise. Albus becomes harder then, sitting straighter in his chair.

"Do not squander love out of fear, Severus. I think you will find that love, in the end, is all that reveals the light in our darkest moments."

Severus gives a contained nods, hearing Dumbledore's message with perfect clarity. The world will only become a darker place in the coming years, and they are all in need of the grounding force of love around them while it happens.

"And on that basis, Severus, I encourage you wholeheartedly to seek alternate accommodation, should Miss Hardbroom agree."

Severus nods his thanks, before turning sharply on his heel and exiting the Headmaster's office.

As Severus arrives spontaneously in the nearest wizarding village to Cackle's Academy, an owl begins knocking at the window of Hecate's potions classroom. Hecate's mouth tightens at the thought of her class watching her read a missive that has undoubtedly come from her lover. He normally refrains from sending her mail during school hours. Hecate transfers the owl inside rather than opening the window. The bird spins its head in confusion, blinking rapidly. When it lands on Hecate's hand and extends its leg, it is giving the most grudging vibe a Eurasian Eagle-Own can.

Cate,

Lunch? I shall be waiting in the Pickled Dragon.

SS

Hecate re-reads his familiar spiky scrawl. He is not a man given to spontaneity in her experience, yet here he is, two miles from the school she presides over for an impromptu lunch. Hecate summons a quill from her desk and scribbles on the back of his message,

1pm.

x H

She thinks the economy of characters will please him, and when she sends the bird back to find its master, she takes the unprecedented step of carrying it to the window herself, letting it out in the normal fashion after stroking it gently. When it takes off, the owl has still not decided whether or not to peck her, given the dizziness her transfer spell caused it.

The class stares at her in concerned silence. Who is this woman? Gently stroking animals, opening windows manually? Mavis Spellbody has started to entertain the idea that her Deputy Headmistress might be a twin too, taking after Miss Cackle, and perhaps the version of HB they usually get is the evil one...

"Mavis Spellbody!" Hecate snaps dangerously, bringing Mavis out of her reverie with jarring force. "Would you care to explain to me why you felt the need to include unicorn hair in a very simple fire breath potion?"

Mavis fumbles desperately for the answer while the voice in her head mumbles gently Nope. Definitely not HB's nice twin...

Hecate arrives at the unassuming wizarding pub at precisely 1pm, just as Severus had expected. She performs a transfer spell directly into the rickety building, and before Severus has had the chance to react to her presence, the words "Severus, has something happened?" are out of her mouth.

Severus' eyes soften with affection. He stands and shakes his head. "Not at all, my love." Hecate is still frowning at him with confusion; the expression remains even after Severus has gently pressed his lips to hers in greeting. She hesitates before sitting, and when she does sit, she does so stiffly, as if still braced for bad news.

"Hecate," he begins seriously. Her back remains ramrod straight. A waiter approaches their table, and both members of the couple shoot a ferocious glance at the young wizard, clearly indicating not now. He scuttles away as if burned.

"You are making me increasingly anxious, Severus." She remarks. He can tell; her whole body seems to be pulling away from him, even though she hasn't moved. Her eyes, usually softer when they are resting on him than when they study anyone else in the world, are so hard she may as well be teaching a first year potions class.

"That is not my intention."

"I would suggest you get to the point then." She says, and were he not so certain in his decision already, Severus would wonder if they are too similar to coexist. But they aren't. And he is certain.

"I believe a fundamental change to our relationship is required."

Hecate blinks at him, her eyebrows shooting skywards. This is the last thing she would have expected him to say. She is trying to formulate a response, trying to find words, but eventually she simply blinks at him again.

"I have found myself distracted, since I last saw you. It has led me to consider the future. And my desire to... spend it with you." Hecate's face twitches, pulling in what feels like four directions at once. She is trying not to smile, trying not to frown, trying to process what's happening.

"Severus, what are you suggesting?" She asks softly.

Severus Snape, ordinarily fearless and unemotional Severus Snape, consciously gathers his wits and proclaims. "I would like us to live together. I would... like you to be my wife." Hecate closes her eyes, as a smile takes her face by force. Hecate extends one of her hands to reach for him. He makes a noise when her fingers find his, about to resume his spiel, but Hecate holds up a silencing finger, eyes still closed. She is hoping to absorb every sensation, hold it within her forever more.

Hecate Hardbroom has spent so much of her life trying to be untouched by emotion, trying to separate herself from the tidal waves that so challenge the people she knows and observes. But now she realises that there's nothing she wants more than to spend idle evenings and times of hardship and every moment of happiness with Severus Snape. Hecate eventually finds the resolve to open her eyes. He is shaken to see the threat of tears in them. "That would make me very happy, Severus."

Severus lifts her hand to his lips and kisses her knuckles delicately, the ghost of a smile playing about his own mouth.

"I am very pleased to hear that, my love."

From there, it's all easier than either of them could have anticipated. They quickly fall in love with a cottage with a lush, tumbling garden and a black wrought iron fence - not at all the usual style for this kind of house - separating the place from the rest of the world. The cottage backs onto a river, and Severus finds the soft hissing of water slipping over rocks soothing. There is a towering oak tree in the front yard. When they first view the property, Hecate lays her palm on the rough bark and closes her eyes. The ghost of a smile tugs at her lips as she feels the force of nature run through her. In return, the tree's many leaves turn a deeper shade of green. She turns over her shoulder to find Severus observing her. Hecate marvels at how tenderly his gaze sits upon her. When their eyes meet there is already a silent agreement between them that this will be the one.

They furnish the house functionally and without sentiment. Neither of them is particularly sentimental about many things beyond each other. When they begin their cohabitation, Hecate is surprised by how often his fingers seek her out, how often they land, whisper light, on the small of her back as he passes or stands beside her. The longer they live together, the more Hecate relaxes into the arrangement, and the more frequently she finds herself touching casual kisses to his cheek or lips. Hecate takes more comfort than she would like from falling asleep with a pale but strong arm draped protectively around her body. She enjoys being wrapped in the warmth of him. She enjoys studying his sleeping face by the moonlight, observing him when he is utterly unburdened. Hecate, for the first time in her life feels ordinary; to her great surprise, she doesn't mind.

As Hecate likes to study his sleeping form before she lets herself succumb to sleep, Severus has continued to observe her before she wakes ever since their first night together. Most nights she sleeps on his chest, his arms wound securely around her. He likes being able to feel her breathe, her ribs expand and contract beneath his arms. Some nights he sleeps wrapped around her curled form, his nose buried in the curve of her shoulder, the intoxicating scent of her washing over him. Tonight was one such night. Tonight there is clearly something on her mind, for it was she who curled and pulled him around her. Severus' hyper-analytical brain insists there must be some subconscious reason for the change in her position, but he hasn't quite cracked the code yet. When he feels her begin to stir in his arms, Severus presses his mouth to her neck.

"How long have you been waiting to do that, darling?" She asks, her voice appealingly thick with sleep.

"Longer, I fear, than you would believe." His words glide over her shoulder, and his lips follow them. There is something comforting, steadying, he finds about having his mouth on her skin.

"Severus?" The word steps from between Hecate Hardbroom's lips in a way that is almost, but not quite, tentative. He has heard his name from her lips so many times now, he finds himself weighing each ounce of intention from them, almost like a game.

He stretches further around her, reaching for her free hand and twining his fingers through hers, bringing their hands back into her chest. He nuzzles softly under the hair that has fallen over her ear to kiss her neck, before drawling an easy "Yes?"

Hecate pauses. She thinks some part of her has always known that she will ask him this question, but the timing was always a highly changeable element. For years, she convinced herself she didn't really need to know, that it was irrelevant to their life together. But she's curious. She's always been curious. And so, curled atypically in Severus Snape's arms, Hecate Hardbroom says "What was she like?"

He doesn't need to ask who. Severus is jolted violently into the past, to a teenage girl with vibrant red hair and bright green eyes. He feels like he's raced through every second of memory he has of her - from the little girl who was kind to him when he was a lonely outsider, to the woman who would no longer speak to him, the woman whose lifeless body he held in his arms and wept over.

"She was... talented. Extremely talented." Hecate almost flinches, worried about how many of these terms will be ones he could apply to both her and Lily Evans. "And kind." Hecate scoffs quietly. It's as if he's read her mind. Hecate is not kind, except perhaps to him. Hecate has no desire to be described as kind.

"She picked her battles badly. I did something to her that she didn't forgive me for. She defended me until then."

Hecate wants to turn her face towards him, to read his emotions in his dark eyes. Even Hecate, who knows him better than anyone, struggles to hear them in his voice when he doesn't want to share them.

Severus consciously releases his grip on himself. He loves the woman in his arms. He's asked her to marry him. Before they had even slept together Severus told her the most dangerous details about his life – his secret association with the Order of the Phoenix, his history with the Dark Lord. He has always told her the most tightly held details of his life because he wants to spend the rest of it with her. But in all this, he has only ever skimmed the surface of Lily. The whole story, his complete history, is the least he owes her. Severus tells her every painful moment of the intersection his life had with Lily Evans', relayed at little more than a murmur into her shoulder.

Hecate listens, patiently and openly, letting the story be about Severus rather than herself. She does not turn to him throughout the tale, but she squeezes his fingers more tightly at critical moments. When she's certain his story has concluded, Hecate turns over her shoulder and presses her lips softly against his. She raises a hand to caress his face, to wipe away the tear that has left a stain on his cheek. He loves her a little more for not acknowledging his rare show of vulnerability.

"Thank you for telling me." She whispers against his mouth.

He doesn't answer her with words. Instead he rolls her body in his arms and continues to kiss her, losing himself in her perfect mouth. For the first time in his life, Severus has found a home.


A/N: Teaser trailer: Next chapter brings a celebration that is attended by the lovely Ada Cackle and Pippa Pentangle.