"Where the hell am I?" Wade asked as he opened his eyes. With a quick glance around, it became apparent exactly where he was: on a cloud. "Am I high?" he wondered out loud. "I AM THE BEYONDER!" a thunderous voice echoed in Wade's ears. A rather stylish man with jet-black hair and a smile so white it sparkled in the sun. "Nice suit..." Wade muttered.

The Beyonder placed his hand on Deadpool's shoulder. "You have shown great courage Captain Wilson, and great babe-scoring ability." Wade nodded in approval. "That is why I have chosen you. You must complete 12 labours to save this universe." Wade paused for a moment, not really paying attention. "Go on," he said after a moment. "Those 12 labours are... to bed the 12 hottest women ever. Do you accept the challenge?" Wade considered for a moment before grinning: "Challenge accepted!"

Wade Wilson blinked and found himself back on the boat. He explained the situation to his trusted crew on the way back to land. Upon arriving, they dropped off Hal and bade farewell to the beautiful Songbird, who having been a stowaway, took the opportunity to depart. "We have three aims," Deadpool briefed Damian, Alfred and Clayface, "1) get a new ship. 2) secure a new ship babe. 3) locate and sleep with the 12 hottest women ever. Okay, that last one is my aim rather than yours but you get the picture."

Damian won them a new pirate ship in a game of cards at the local tavern. He had the best poker face of the crew. Now they just needed to find a new babe. "Where do we get one of those Mr Wilson?" Clayface asked with genuine confusion. Damian scoffed at his stupidity. "It's obvious," said Damian, "We steal one." Wade smirked, "Surprisingly, the midget's not that far off..."

The cell door flew open as the two guards smashed through it. Captain Wilson marched through, with mask on, and ready to kick some butt. "Who knew it was so easy to break into the tower of London," he remarked. "Wade..." the prisoner said. "Hello Karla," he grinned. Karla Sofen, the notorious pirate known as Moonstone and former flame of Wade's stood up and paced over to Wade. "It's been a while..." she commented, licking her lips. "I missed you too honey," Wade stated and he caught her hips, bringing his face down to hers, their lips connecting.

"What got you arrested?" he asked as he ran his hands up her legs. "I got caught impersonating an officer of the royal navy. Admiral Danvers wasn't impressed." Wade smirked. "You can be such a naughty girl," he told her as he tore off her clothes and pushed her up against the wall. "You would know..." she winked stripping him also. He ran his hands over her body, groping her boobs. "I'm an expert," he agreed, spanking her and turning her away from him. He guided his penis into her ass and pounded her into the wall.

She screamed out but no-one heard her as Wade went full power on her. He held her arms in place as his hips slammed into her ass. Panting breathlessly, she begged for more and Wade obliged. Karla's skin was smooth and perfect. Wade had often thought about coating in caramel. He had only actually done it once. He pulled out of her butt and turned her to face him again. He released her arms and they came down around his shoulders. Her legs lifted off the ground as he thrust into her pussy.

He licked her tits, his hands cupping her breasts and angling them to his mouth. His dick pushed into her vagina harder and she moaned out desperately, she was going to orgasm. Wade rolled his hips into her again and she erupted. Wade smirked. "75" he announced. They kept a running total of the times they'd made the other cum. Wade slid out and Moonstone grabbed his shaft, pumping it up and down. He closed his eyes letting her work until he felt himself climax. He sprayed himself over her upper thighs and lower stomach. "52" Karla whispered.

He took a deep breath then shoved his clothes back on. "Welcome to the crew Karla," he said, turning away and marching triumphantly out of the cell. She smiled.

The ship set sail the next morning in search of distant lands and booty. Wade grinned: "Set sail for the mainland!" he ordered.

It wasn't long before they were on land again. Wade left Moonstone and Clayface getting acquainted. "See that building over there?" Wade asked, his hand on Damian's shoulder. "yes," he snapped. "That's the palace." Damian's eyes widened. "You're the most wanted man in the whole world and you've taken us here! Are you insane?" "Yes," Deadpool answered.

"Steve is a great man Diana, he would make you very happy!" Queen Hippolyta told her daughter. "I haven't even met the man and you want me to say I'll marry him!" Diana protested. She slammed the door behind her as she left the palace. The people scattered as she exited the palace. No-one wanted to be the one to offend the red-hot-tempered princess in the red and gold. Known on the street as Wonder Woman due to her royal heritage and unbelievable beauty, Diana was tired of people. She ignored them all as she marched through the city, grabbing a hooded cloak to mask her identity.

She reached an inn she'd come to trust the owners of. She often came here when she needed to be alone. They had a room reserved for her at all times. The old wooden inn was called Paradise Island. She entered her room to find the bed made and floor spotless as expected. There was one unexpected element though. "Hello princess," Wade Wilson greeted her.

Diana gasped, recognising the infamous pirate on sight. "How did you get in here?" she demanded in disbelief, discarding the cloak to the floor. Wade took a moment to admire her body before answering. "I own this place," he stated, "So I sent the innkeepers off to give a tour of the city to my little boy," he grinned. "A son?" she asked, confused and intrigued. "No, my first mate."

Diana hadn't run away so Wade figured he had a shot. "What's the glowing yellow rope?" he pointed to the lasso, clipped onto her belt. "That's the lasso of truth," she told him. She didn't seem afraid; in fact she seemed pretty sociable. "Ooh, let's test it out!" he said enthusiastically. She wasn't so sure it was a great idea, but figured what was the worst that could happen. She allowed him to wrap it around her wrist. Wade smirked beneath his mask.

"Does the mask look awesome?" he asked. "Yes," she responded immediately. "Well, now we know it works." Wade was pretty damn pleased with himself now. She reached to take it off but he stopped her. "Not yet," he said and she nodded. "Why haven't you left yet?" She answered immediately again: "I'm pissed off with my mum and I find you mysterious and sexually alluring." Stop playing and screw her, his caption boxes told him. They'd been on holiday for a while so he was quite glad they were back but he did have one last question. "Do you want me to tie you to that bed with this lasso and give you night of your life?" "Of course," she said then quickly covered her mouth in shock. That clearly wasn't what she had meant to say. Deadpool high-fived himself then pushed her onto the bed. She gasped but soon found herself smiling as he straddled her waist and pinned her arms down. He took the lasso and tied them together, then tied her to the bed. The lasso was long enough that it could hold her hands and wrap around the bed, and over her waist, almost three times. She wasn't going anywhere.

"You're a princess who has always been in control of everyone else," he said spanking her, "Don't you wish someone would control you?" She moaned out as he spanked her again, "yes..." He spanked her again. "You belong to me now. Do you like that?" She nodded as he spanked her for the third time. He rubbed her ass-cheeks gently where he had just slapped them. "Are you a dirty princess?" He licked his tongue up her neck. "Yes!" she called out as his hand started to rub her vagina.

"So what's with the costume?" Wade inquired as he hooked her leg up over his shoulder and stroked her pussy through the starred blue pants. "It's a version of the ceremonial gear all princesses have to wear. I slutted it up to piss off my mother." Wade nodded in approval. "You do a lot to piss off your mum," he commented. "It's the main reason I want you to fuck me," she replied. Wade shrugged and peeled off the blue panties. "See I need to screw you to save the universe," Wade told her. "I don't care," she interrupted. "That's my girl..." he grinned as he fingered her.

"What are you going to do to me?" she asked, a desperate tone in her voice as his fingers pumped in and out of her exposed pussy. He kissed her softly. "Anything we want..."

To Be Continued!

Author's Notes: Pretty big cliffhanger right! check back soon for the next chapter!