It's JK's.


That damn alarm clock starting beeping again. It beeped earlier, and it was still dark out! The thing must be busted! So I set it to snooze, and there it is, beeping AGAIN! What do you have to do for a girl to get some sleep around here? I slammed my fist on it. That stopped the beeping. It also broke the darn contraption. It was so helpful before! Now it was going kookoo on me! Muggle things just can't be trusted nowadays!

I raised myself off the bed and looked out the window. The sun was out and shining. Wait... that can't be right... I looked at my watch. "Damn it!" I screamed, throwing the blanket off of me and running into the bathroom. It was eight o clock. I not only missed breakfast, I'm late for the first lesson!

"Mara? Hello? Are you all right?"

Great. Now Minnie's come to check on me. She's getting out of bed rest just to see if I was okay! How sweet! I ran to the door, still clad in just a nightgown. I opened it.

"My, uh... should I come back later?"

It was Snape. OH MY GOD! IT WAS SNAPE! I shrieked, and grabbed the robe on the nearby chair. I quickly threw it around me.

"I wasn't expecting you, Severus."

"Who were you suspecting? Didn't anyone tell you it's not modest to come to the door dressed in a night gown? Unless, of course, if it were under certain circumstances..."

"I was expecting Minnie!" I defended, still blushing. Snape was still standing outside the door. "Well, would you like to come in, Severus?"

He blushed. "I well... I suppose so..."

He stepped in and I closed the door. "I'm sorry I can't play the Hostess Card at the moment."

"It's quite all right." Snape sat down awkwardly on a nearby chair.

It occurred to me that Snape probably didn't go into women's rooms very often. I smirked at the thought. Heh, now that Harriet wasn't hanging off his arm, I could tease him a little...

I walked into the bathroom and shed off the robe. I was standing in my nightgown again. "Severus... could you help me out?"

"Er, I suppose it wouldn't hurt..."

"Thanks. Could you go into my closet and grab me my flying robes? You know, the dark blue ones with the Hogwarts emblem and the broom in the middle of it?"

I could hear him moving through the room and into mine. I kept it quite messy... there was probably some three or four garments of underwear on the floor in there... I smirked a little.

Severus came back and knocked on the door. I opened it wide. "Thanks, Severus." I saw his flustered face redden even more, and I had to fight back the urge to laugh.

Severus turned away and went to sit on the couch. I finished dressing and dabbed on a little make up. I didn't have to worry about my hair. It was cut too short to do too much about it. But I grabbed a bit of gel and styled it none-the-less.

"Who's taking over your class, Severus?" I asked, just now realizing that he had left one just to come see if I was all right.

"I left it to Percy."

I laughed. "You couldn't possibly think anyone would listen to him?"

"The thought never crossed my mind," said Snape nonchalantly. I grinned. Anything he could do to torture a Gryffindor...

"Thanks for coming to check up on me..."

Snape held up a hand. "Not a problem, my dear. I noticed you hadn't showed up to breakfast, and I wanted to make sure you weren't tied up to your bed or anything..."

"Tied up to my bed? You're making me think perverted thoughts, Professor Snape."

"Not my problem." He turned to her. "This is where we must separate ways. I hope to see you at lunch. Don't make me come back to your room again, or I won't bother to knock!"

I laughed. "That sounds quite tempting..." I shook my head, and walked off towards the pitch.

"All right, now who here wants to be on the Quidditch team?" I asked as I walked onto the Pitch. The students turned from their little congregation. All but three of them raised their hands. "All right then, you must know that tardiness will not be accepted. Just a forewarning."

They all furrowed their brows. "Who here is muggle-born?"

A few shy students raised their hands.

"Alarm clocks aren't reliable. I just thought you should know..." I pulled out my wand and summoned my broom. "All right, children. Step to the side of your brooms and mount them..."

The lesson went alarmingly well. A first-year Hufflepuff named Karen Yesterley fractured her wrist, but no one was indicted into a team. Harry Potter made an appearance, though. His Quidditch robes were entirely too short for him, and asked if I could order new ones. I told him I would, since the others that were invited back onto the team needed new ones as well. The children looked at the boy in awe. He took it quite well. Only five of them asked for an autograph. He declined, saying he wasn't much of a person to be asking autographs for, and he went off. What a modest child. He was a star in Quidditch, and he was The-Boy-Who-Lived.

I arrived at lunch, and took a seat next to Snape. "I was afraid I would have to miss lunch to come and fetch you," he said as I sat down.

"Ha! You took me seriously! You poor fellow. How long have you known me? Five years?"

Snape turned to his food. "I am not as gullible as I appear, Mara."

"Oh are you?" I asked, pushing him a little.

He looked up at me and smiled. Whoa, he's never smiled at me before. "Yes, yes I am."

"Oh Severie!" called Harriet, walking into the Hall. There were no seats available near Snape. She looked at Xiomara. "Do you mind, Xio? Severus said he'd save me a seat."

I looked back at Snape, and saw his brow furrowed. "Actually, Harriet, I had asked Xiomara to sit with me today. When did I ask you to sit with me?"

Harriet's smile faded. "But Severie, darling, does it matter? Don't you want to sit next to me?" She fluttered her eyelids, just for good measure.

"Maybe some other time, Professor Gostapher. But I really did promise Xiomara I'd sit with her, and I really do want to sit with her."

Harriet made a little huffing sound and took a seat next to Hagrid, who showed her his collection of some creature's toenails. I didn't know the name of said creature, and I really don't much care to know, but for that time, I was glad it existed.

"ALBUS DUMBLEDORE! YOU OLD CODGER OF A FOOL! COME OUT OF WHERE YOU'RE HIDING AND SHOW YOUR FACE!" screamed an angry Minerva McGonagall.

I looked at Snape with a face close to laughter, he shrugged.

Dumbledore appeared from behind Hagrid's bulk. "Yes, my dear?"

"COME OVER HERE! NOW!"

Albus Dumbledore came out from behind Hagrid and shuffled over to Minerva. Never did he look as old and defeated as he did now.

"WHAT, in Merlin's name, is THIS?" asked McGonagall, holding up a piece of parchment.

"It's my Honeyduke's bill," mumbled Dumbledore.

"Did you notice the number at the bottom? Fifty-nine galleons, Albus!" scolded Minerva.

"Not here, dear..."

"Why not? Here's as good as anywhere else!"

"FINE! It's not all for me! I got some for the staff!"

He looked behind him, looking at us with pleading eyes. We all nodded yes vigorously. Minnie looked at each on of us suspiciously.

"You really should give them a raise, Albus. They got you out of a deal of trouble... That is, until later anyway."

"Yes, they are quite marvelous. Now, you must rest, my dear."

"I can walk around for a while," said Minerva, getting offended. She was showing now, and her stomach was protruding out like it was growing a melon.

"Well, I know for a fact you've taken your walk already," said Dumbledore, walking over to her.

"I'm FINE! Albus, don't you dare!" Dumbledore had picked up McGonagall, and was proceeding out of the hall with her. He smiled at everyone, then went out of the Hall with Minerva in his arms.

Everyone laughed. This really WAS a crazy school. Snape stood and cleared his throat. He always had a lull on the students... mainly because they all feared him. But if they ever saw him smile, or laugh... Oh, THAT fear would be thrown out the window!

Classes assumed for the day. I heard many of the students whispering with one another about Professor Gostapher. She was obviously QUITE rude. I needed to know the dirt on her... But who to ask...

I came to Ginny when she had a flying lesson later that day. She had asked me to do a one-on-one program with her, so that she could be up to league with the others. But her brother Ron Weasley needed it WAY more than she needed... Yet, I could not complain, and it's not like I didn't have the time.

"So, Weasley, what do you know about a certain Harriet Gostapher?"

She looked over at me, mounted on her broom and high up above the Pitch, at about my level. "You mean Professor Gobstopper?"

"Cute."

"We didn't make it up! She told us! 'I am Professor Gostapher. NOT Gobstopper, Gostapher.'"

"Smart move."

Ginny laughed. "What about her, Professor?"

"I just wanted to know how she taught the students. What are her rules and such?"

Ginny heaved a sigh. "ALL she does is sit in her office and talk to her friends about the cutest guys in town, at the school, etcetera. And her rules are OUTRAGEOUS! Two of them are: 'NO butt scratching. NO nose-picking.' What kind of rules are those? Like we DO that!"

I laughed in spite of myself. That was pretty funny. Ginny continued on."I don't think I've learned a thing since she's arrived. I miss Professor McGonagall and her harsh methods."

"You actually miss all that homework?" I asked, incredulous.

"EVERYONE does, Professor! Even Harry and Ron!"

My eyebrows shot up. This must be a horrible teacher! "But you know she can't teach now, Ginny. She's with child. She can't just get up and start teaching, no matter HOW much she wants to."

"I know," said Ginny, looking down at her broom. "But Professor Gobstopper is a nightmare. She's a disgrace to all women everywhere."

"Well, maybe I can talk to Minnie this. Maybe Dumbledore will allow her to draw out lesson plans and so on. It's not like she has much else to do, and she's always complaining. I'd hate to be Dumbledore."

"Yeah, especially after that little scene at lunch," laughed Ginny. She looked up at me. "Why the sudden interest in dear Professor Gobstopper?"

"Well, I... I thought Minerva might want to know how her cubs are being treated..." I lied.

Ginny gave me a sly smirk. "I don't think so. You're jealous because she's making the moves on Snape and you love him, and you don't think you can compete with little Miss Marilyn Monroe."

I looked at her incredulous. "Is it that obvious?"

Ginny laughed and nodded. "Don't worry, he doesn't know. Although, I don't think it'd hurt to tell him..."

"Maybe I will... But I don't think I will now..."

Ginny nodded. "Don't rush into things... Unless you're absolutely sure of what you're doing."

"Unless you're harry Potter, hm?" Ginny blushed in response. I gave her a quizzical look. "On more thing..."

"Yes, Professor?"

"Who's Marilyn Monroe?"


You KNOW you love me! This ended up being a filler chapter... but I still have to keep some hilarity in here... You know you love it. So give me a review to tell me why.

I KNOW a lot more people come and read this. It's downright rude to read something and NOT leave review, people. I know all, like how many people look at this. You can't slip past me!

Lady Epur out