Living
It has been a little over a month since the encounter with Sasuke, but I can't say what he promised has helped me that much. If Sasuke didn't return like he had said, that encounter would be the end of me. Everything he said, everything he did… it would be too much.
"I can't believe I actually gave him another chance… Now I have to believe he's going to come back. It's all I have to hold onto."
Ever since Sasuke had also kissed me, I had been in a state of confusion. Sasuke was so… passionate towards me, but why? I had told him I loved him, so did that mean he was toying with me and trying to destroy me because he knows this is the one way he can actually get to me?
If, in fact, Sasuke was doing this to try destroying me, it was going to work and he would finally succeed in destroying me. Even though he's a bastard though, I still don't feel that he could do something so evil. He had left with intentions of never returning and tried killing me on several different occasions, but I felt it was only a cover up to try scaring me away so he didn't actually have to do that. Maybe I'm just the love struck idiot that tries finding all the good in the person I love, but I believe under the cold skin he wears, he has the emotions we all carry.
The dreams I always happen every time I'm asleep now, but they seem more meaningful now. I still continue having both of the dreams, but they both have equal meaning to me. Something was about to happen, but at least I was finally prepared for what fate had in store for me. If one of the dreams comes true, I'm fully accepting it, despite which one happens. Either way, I was going to die anyway, emotionally or physically.
At least now, I'm trying to get better, since there is newfound hope by Sasuke's words. It's not going to happen in just a month, but I'm slowly making progress. My depression seems to decrease with each passing day and I have finally opened up to Sakura and Sai about what happened during the last two encounters, but still left the dreams to myself. When I first told them, I was afraid of what they may have thought of me, but fortunately they were there for me and didn't care about my decision. I'm just grateful that they have stayed with me through all this, or I don't know how I would be right now.
"Sakura, do you think Sasuke's going to come back?" I asked absentmindedly, staring into my bowl of ramen and looked up at her.
She stopped in mid-bite and looked at smiled softly at me. "For the years I have known Sasuke, I've never known him to lie, about anything. If he said he's going to do something, he's not going to give up on it," she said, not having to think about the answer at all. Since she use to love him, she knew almost everything there was to know about him, which sometimes I was grateful for.
I stared at her while she spoke and smiled slightly back. "Thank you."
She continued smiling and nodded once before taking a bit of her food. "Oh, by the way, I have an errand to run with Sai starting tomorrow morning. I thought you'd like to come with us."
I pondered on this for a moment. "Where to?"
"Sunagakure. We have to deliver a package that's medical-related. I thought it would be a good opportunity to talk to Gaara."
My eyes brightened. "Awesome! I haven't talked to Gaara in a long time." I knew the reason Sakura wanted me go was so Gaara could try cheering me up more, but I didn't say anything about it.
Sakura's smile brightened. "Great! Sai and I will be over in the morning to pick you up at sunrise."
I nodded, smiling. "Alright."
Even though it was a long road to recovery, maybe it wouldn't take as long as I expected it would. Seeing an old friend would help me take my mind off Sasuke for a little while and cheer me up a little. Now the only thing I could do, was wait.
The next morning, I awoke an hour before sunrise to take a shower and pack things I'd need for the journey. Even though Lady Tsunade still wouldn't let me go on a mission, it wouldn't hurt to tag along on a simple delivery. Due to my mental state, Lady Tsunade would have taken away all of my weapons, in case I wanted to try something "severe," but it wouldn't have really mattered either way and she knew it. If I had any intentions of killing myself, there were hundreds of other ways to do so without the help of a sharp piece of metal. Not like I had any intentions of doing it, anyways.
As soon as the sky started to glow orange across the horizon, Sakura and Sai showed up at my doorstep, waiting for me. After locking the door, I followed them to the gates of Konoha where we started our week-long journey.
For most of the morning, we all remained silent in our own worlds. I still felt quite groggy from waking up so early in the morning and I swear I fell asleep while continuing to walk a couple times.
When the sun was directly above out heads, Sakura started a conversation with Sai. A few times, one of them would ask me a question which eventually drew me into their conversation too. I wasn't talking as much as I use to, but I was slowly becoming my old annoying self again, very slowly.
During the remainder of the day, we took several breaks after walking in periods of three hours. All of the talking really helped me also and also made me lose track of time. When we stopped again, I looked at the sky and noticed the sun already setting.
"We should set up camp here. It'll be dark real soon," Sai said, tossing his bag on the ground. Sakura and I both nodded and followed suit. "Sakura, you stay here and set up camp. I'll go gather firewood and Naruto can get some water."
I nodded without complaining and started walking in the direction we came from, remembering there was a stream not too far away. After walking for only five minutes, I came across the stream and quickly started getting some water. Before I could finish, I heard a small twig being stepped on from behind and quickly spun around, trying to find what caused it.
"Hello?" I yelled into the bush and cautiously stood up.
"Hello…" a low voice said from behind, startling me. Before I could react, they grabbed me in a neck-breaking hold that was impossible to get out of and cut off my oxygen supply.
"If you try to scream, I'll make your life a living hell…" they said menacingly.
"Wh-who are you?" I managed to choke out while trying to pry his hand off my throat, but the man was much stronger than I was.
"I am from Akatsuki…" he said, putting less pressure on my neck. "If you try to run, I'll kill your dear friends along with you…"
I clenched my teeth together at the man but obeyed. "Don't hurt them…" I said lowly.
He smirked. "Good boy.
My eyes widened as I felt threads slowly piercing my skin and into my chest. I started to yell in pain, but the attacker held his hand over my mouth, preventing me from doing do. The only thing I could do right now if hope someone noticing I had been gone for too long and come save me, but I didn't know if I would last that long. Slowly, I felt the threads wrapping around my heart, constricting it tightly and slowly tugging on it, trying to rip it from my chest.
"I guess this is the end…"
At this very moment, I was one-hundred percent sure I was about to die. No one was around to hear what was taking place and with each passing second, I felt myself slowly losing consciousness. When I was about to slip into darkness, I heard the whistling of a kunai fly passed my head and made contact with skin… but I felt no other pain. I opened my eyes quickly when the person dropped me, threads still lodged in my chest. My head slowly turned in the direction the kunai was thrown and was surprised to see Sasuke standing over me, glaring at the attacker.
"I told you to leave him alone, bastards…" Sasuke threatened menacingly, pulling out another kunai.
"Sasuke…"
The guy slowly stood and smirked. "Heh, you actually caught me off guard Uchiha. Congratulations. This isn't over as of yet. Remember that." And with that, the guy quickly disappeared.
Before I could think of anything to say, Sasuke kneeled beside me and examined my wounds with a worried expression. "Naruto stay awake…" he said, slapping my cheek a few times easily.
"S-Sasuke… What's going on?" I asked lowly, not able to say anything above a whisper.
"Don't talk Naruto… I'm going to go get Sakura…" Sasuke quickly and turned around but was quickly tackled to the ground by one of Sai's beasts.
"What did you do to him Sasuke?" Sakura yelled, horrified at my wounds. She quickly ran over to me and started healing me immediately.
"S-Stop fighting… Sasuke didn't hurt me. He saved me…" I managed to get out. Sasuke quickly appeared by my side, staring me in the eye.
"Naruto, hang in there…" he said lowly and grabbed my hand, holding it tightly.
I stared Sasuke in the eye as I felt my eyelids growing more heavy with every passing moment. "Stay with me…" I said in a whisper before drifting off to sleep.
My eyes slowly opened, but I had to shield my eyes from the brightness of the sun. After my eyes had adjusted to the light, I raised my head and looked around me. Sakura and Sai were about twenty feet away, talking lowly at the base of the tree. I couldn't make out what they were saying exactly, but you could easily hear worry in Sakura's voice.
"Naruto…" a relieved voice said beside me. I slowly looked over and saw Sasuke sitting beside me on the ground, staring down at me. "Hey guys he woke up!"
Sakura and Sai quickly walked over to me and stopped about five foot away from me, staring.
"How do you feel Naruto?" Sakura asked, keeping her distance.
It took me a moment to remember exactly what happened, but I tried moving a little bit. I winced with slight pain in my chest, but it felt a lot better. "It's just a dull pain now." I looked back over to Sasuke and stared him in the eye.
"He actually stayed…"
"We should head back. The package can wait," Sai said, picking up his bag quickly.
"Wait… I need to talk to Naruto first," Sasuke said, standing up and offering me a hand.
"You're not going out of my sight Uchiha," Sai said sternly, giving Sasuke a glare.
Sasuke glared back. "If my intentions we to kill him don't you think I would have done it already?"
"It'll be fine guys," I said lowly with a small reassuring smile. I took Sasuke's hand and slowly stood up. Pain shot throughout my chest, but it wasn't unbearable to handle.
Sasuke and I slowly walked away from the others and walked to the stream where I had been attacked earlier during the night.
"What is it, Sasuke?" I asked, walking over to him after he stopped.
He unexpectedly turned around and pushed me against a tree and held me there, staring me in the eye. I was a little confused for a moment until he leaned towards me and kissed me. I closed my eyes and kissed him back, but quickly pushed him away.
"Will you please tell me what the hell is going on?" I asked, slightly angry. The guy that Akatsuki member that attacked me was involved with Sasuke, I just didn't know what. Was it Akatsuki who tried killing me last month too?
Sasuke sighed and closed his eyes with his head lowered. "I'm not exactly sure how to explain this, so I'm just going to be straight forward about it…" Sasuke began. "After I left you in the forest, I followed the Akatsuki member back to his hideout with hopes that he would lead me to Itachi. When I got there, I overheard them say your name… They're trying to kill you, Naruto."
As I listened to Sasuke, I felt all the blood drain from my face and I froze.
"I got angry and without thinking, I told them to leave you alone or I'd kill them all. Of course, they only laughed at my threat. They told me no matter what, they will not allow you to live. Naruto… they wanted to kill the demon inside you. I told them no matter what they did, I wouldn't allow them to do it, but they knew I couldn't kill all of them. Every day after that, I guarded around your home to make sure they didn't get to you."
I stared at Sasuke in complete shock. There were so many emotions overcoming me, I didn't know which one to react with first. "Why… why didn't you tell me sooner?"
"Because I thought it would be best if you didn't know about it Naruto. I never intended to tell you unless it was a last resort, so here we are." Sasuke sighed and looked up at the sky.
"They were planning to kill me! Why wouldn't you tell me about that sooner?" I yelled angrily.
"Because I was trying to protect you!" he snapped back, now looking at me and sighed. "I never wanted anything bad to happen to you, Naruto."
"Is that why you left me? To protect me?"
"You know why I left the village… With every encounter we had in the beginning, you made it so difficult for me to not take our battles too far." He laughed slightly. "But I always held back, making sure to never severely harm you but at the same time make it look as if I truly was trying to kill you."
I stayed quiet for a while before asking, "why?"
He sighed and closed his eyes and lowered his head. "I needed to get my revenge and I couldn't let anyone else come with me to too get killed by my brother, but the only way I could do that was to make it seem like I hated you enough to kill you. At the time, the only thing I thought of was killing my brother and to make sure he didn't kill anybody else. I didn't really care who I hurt emotionally in the process. But when we encountered one another a few months back… I couldn't stand the hurt in your eyes. I hadn't realized how much pain you were in and I have to admit, it caught me by surprise when you told me to never come back. You may have thought so, but I never had any intentions of disappearing permanently."
I stared at Sasuke in surprise as he continued talking, speechless.
"All this time, I've been watching your every move and keeping you safe." He opened his eyes and stared at me.
"You're the one who's been leaving me packages… aren't you?" I asked lowly. I took it as a yes when I received no answer.
"The reason I'm here right now though… I'm going to end this."
My heart skipped a beat after the words left Sasuke's mouth. End it… All I could do was continue staring at Sasuke, not sure what to do or what to say.
Sasuke slowly walked over to me until he was a few feet away and lowered his head. "I'm sorry I didn't realize everything sooner, Naruto. I've caused you so much pain… pain you didn't deserve. I wish I could have made your life better, and I could have if I opened my eyes sooner. All I ever did was think about avenging my family, only thinking of myself. I never thought about the family I already had." He slowly leaned into me until our lips met in a soft kiss while gently pulling me into his chest.
I closed my eyes and kissed him back. For just the moment, I tried forgetting about everything around us and the situation at hand right now. The only thing that mattered right now, was being held in Sasuke's embrace.
"I'm so sorry Naruto…" I felt a wet droplet fall onto the back of my neck as Sasuke held me more tightly.
"You were there for me more than you think…" I whispered. "My entire life, I have been pushed to the side, called a demon and been picked on… but you never did. You always tried outdoing everything that I did and always stayed by my side while we challenged one another. You may not realize it, but you were my first enemy, and my first friend."
Sasuke balled the back of my jacket into his fist. "I won't let them hurt you Naruto…" My ears filled with the sound of a blade slowly being pulled out of its sheath. I didn't try getting away from him for I understood everything clearly. He was saving me not only from the pain, but also from being tortured for what was inside me.
"Sasuke… I love you," I whispered into his ear.
More tears from Sasuke fell onto the back of my neck, soaking the collar of my jacket. "… I love you too." My ears filled with the sounds of ripping flesh as I felt the blade piercing my chest, accompanied by a searing pain.
No tears fell from my eyes for I now knew everything I wanted to know along with my wish being granted. I had finally heard the words I've always wanted to hear… Sasuke loved me, and I loved him back.
He slowly took the blade out and lowered me to the ground, staring me in the eye, saddened.
"I'll see you soon, Naruto," he said lowly, pressing his quivering lips to mine for one last kiss.
"Thank you…" I said lowly, my eyes getting heavier by the moment.
"F-For what?"
A smile slowly crossed my face as I stared into his eyes. "For loving me."
With that smile, I drifted into an eternal sleep, never to wake again.
