AN: This one's a little late. Sorry about that, but I got stuck with a blackout yesterday. Anyway, I hope you enjoy. I find this one pretty funny.


The Exposure Part 4

Warren

Well, this was just terrific. Seriously, what could possibly be better?

Apparently every Chee on the planet was currently in an immobile, hologram deficient state, randomly hidden from sight and Lourdes was only one of two Chee that were in immediate danger of being discovered. We had no chance of getting to the other one, he was locked away in a power plant and could never be recovered without being seen. Though he was safe from prying eyes. For another eight hours, at which time he'd be busted.

On the bright side, we knew what we had to do to fix this. Go to the Chee's ship and hit the reboot. We even knew where it was. But of course, it was in the one place even our best morphs would be reduced to the basic size and shape of a sardine can. One of the deepest crevices in the freaking ocean.

"Well, this is depressing." Rachel snapped, kicking at a few fallen leaves. For once, we weren't congregating in Cassie's barn, but Tobias' meadow. Cassie's dad was likely to be home by now and we didn't want to risk getting busted or Cassie getting work to do. We had enough to drive us crazy as it is. "We're beat before we've even started. All this freaking help to escape the public eye and still we're screwed."

That was another thing that was bugging me. The others had told me all about what happened to Erek at the mall, not to mention the bus and walk home. A freaking gorilla carries a 'person' out of a store, onto a bus and down a big street and no one notices? With the mall's security cameras defecting at the same point in time? And I don't know about you, but no bus driver I ever met would have missed the fact that something like a gorilla had jumped on his bus. This had The Ellimist or Crayak written all over it, but I couldn't figure out which one. It didn't fit either of their styles. Unless they were both playing around here. Who else had the power to enter the Pemalite ship and turn off their major programs only to hide the damage from the world? Who else had the power to make everyone fail to notice such obvious situations?

/Are there no creatures native to this world capable or surviving such a depth?/ Ax asked, pulling me back to the current page. Like I said before, we knew exactly where to go and what to do, but the Chee's own safety precautions were our downfall. The others had dolphin and shark morphs and Cassie also had a humpback whale morph, but even the whale wasn't built to handle the kind of pressure under three miles of water. Nothing with a backbone was.

"I can think of a few." I admitted, though I hastily went on before anyone got any ideas. "But none of them will be of any help to us."

"And why's that?" Jake asked wearily. I flinched a little as he looked at me. His eyes were still so haunted, especially when they focused on me. They always moved to my gut too, imagining the slashed wounds from Howler blades impaling me. It didn't help that his trailing eyes kept bringing that moment back to me too and I wasn't over it, despite how I acted. How could I be? I may have smiled and talked the whole way through it, but I still died a slow, painful death. It wasn't exactly an event that was likely to leave your mind.

"Because they're small." I started, struggling to keep my voice calm and forcing myself back to the present issue. "We'd never even reach the ocean floor before the time limit was exceeded like twenty times over at least, probably more. Not that we'd ever be able to acquire them anyway." I rattled on. Hey, it helped. "Those animals live on the deep ocean floor. They survive using the heat and energy from black smokers, thermal vents, in place of the sun. They need the pressure to survive, without it, they die long before they reach the surface. I channel surfed onto a documentary in boredom last week." I added as Cassie gave me a look.

"Perfect! By the time the only creatures on Earth that could help us can be acquired or morphed, we'd already crushed into tiny cubes?" Marco yelled exasperatedly, throwing his hands up.

"I'd say that's about right." Cassie agreed, her voice matching the troubled look on her face. "Sperm whales are the deepest divers and even they don't go do that far. It's just too much pressure. Nothing with a backbone could ever hope to withstand that kind of pressure."

/And it's not like anything boneless is big or fast./ Tobias sighed.

"Well, that's not entirely true, there is the giant...that's it!" Cassie cried, startling all of us, even Tobias and Ax, as she practically jumped up and down in excitement, beaming a look of elation our way. "Calamari!"

"Snails?" Rachel asked sceptically, crossing her arms. "That doesn't sound all that helpful."

"No, not-"

/I do not particularly like snails./ Ax interrupted, irritating Cassie further. /They are most revolting creatures to eat. The meat portion was fine, but it was covered in horrible slime./

"Wait, you ate a snail raw? Fresh off the ground?" Marco asked, a little sickened at the thought.

/I stepped on it while feeding in Tobias' meadow./

"I thought you Andalites were herbivores." I frowned confusedly.

/We can feed on meat if it's small, we simply prefer not to./ Ax responded.

"Guys, we're not here to talk about snails or Ax' eating habits." Jake butted in, moving on quickly as Rachel opened her mouth to retort. "Snails are escargot, not calamari."

"Oh." Rachel turned a little sheepish at that. A little moody too, strangely enough.

"I was talking about-"

/How's an octopus supposed to help?/ Tobias asked, leaving Cassie growing red with anger. She'd been cut off again. /I don't know anything about their biology, but I doubt they're fast enough to help even if they could survive that kind of pressure./

"SQUID!" Cassie screamed, getting a few scared cries in return. I almost fell off my feet as I jumped. "I was talking about giant SQUID!"

/Then why'd you say calamari? That comes from-/

"Who cares?" Cassie snapped exasperatedly, her arms almost hitting everyone around her as they flew up.

"I do!" I cried, pressing a hand to my belly as it made a particularly loud grumble. "I haven't eaten since breakfast and all this talk about food is really making me hungry. How about we continue this at McDonalds?"

"I don't know, I'm growing a craving for sea food." Marco said thoughtfully. "Does fish and chips sound good to you?"

"Add some prawns and you got a deal."

"Ok, but no sushi. Did you see that show where they found worms getting into that guy's head? I told you nothing good comes from eating raw fish."

"I know, I was there when Rachel told you about that show."

"There was a lot of things in that show that were horrifying." Rachel shivered. "There was another one where a woman had a worm living in a hole it made in her head."

"Eww. Rachel, I wanna eat, not lose my appetite." I groaned, scrunching my face in disgust.

"Wasn't that the show where a worm travelled the baby's body and tried to come out through his e-" Jake asked.

"No, that was a picture you found on the internet." Marco shook his head. "Poor baby though, that had had to be painful. Cassie, why'd you go and lead us to invader worms?"

"I didn't! You did!" Cassie shouted, breathing deeply. "I brought up cala...I mean..."

We all just stared at her as she glared at us all, looking ready to rip a few of our heads off before a small giggle escaped Rachel's mouth. It wasn't even a second later that Jake started shaking with mirth, biting his lip and Marco's face split into a huge smile before we all broke out laughing. Marco ended up leaning against my back so he wouldn't fall over while I was doubled over, holding my stomach. Rachel had taken to leaning against the tree Tobias was resting on while Jake and Cassie had simply let themselves fall butt first to the ground, Jake laying down. We were being absolutely absurd.

"Some please go and tell the Chee that they're doomed." Rachel grinned as our laughter dissolved into frequent chuckles and giggles. "Their last hope is a bunch of teenagers who have gotten caught talking about television shows, worms and food. Twice."

"I agree with what Erek said earlier." Marco nodded, barely stopping himself from laughing again as he finally let me back up. "How did we survive this long?"

"Sheer dumb luck?" I offered amusedly.

"Definitely."

"Hey, I'd say it's because we're that good." Rachel retorted. "We're so great, we kick the Yeerks' nonexistent butts and while getting lost in random conversation."

"You think so? Well then, next time we're breaking into a Yeerk compound, I'll be sure to regale you with-"

"Guys, you're doing it again." Jake interrupted, his own amusement starting to calm down as he tapped his wrist. "Ticktoc. So, giant squid. Where do we go from there?" He asked, turning back to Cassie. "They're capable for this?"

"On paper, it's the perfect morph for the job." Cassie nodded. "It's big, very fast and they live in constantly high pressure. If any animal can get us to the Pemalite ship, they can."

/But why is it only on paper?/ Tobias asked, not really sure he wanted to hear the answer.

"Because I wouldn't know how to get one." Cassie sighed, her shoulders sagging as the group lost all the elation we'd gained. "There's never been any in captivity. They've almost never been seen alive. They live so deep in the ocean that the only surface dwellers that see them with any kind of frequency is the sperm whale, its only predator."

/So we must acquire a sperm whale and track this creature./ Ax stated.

I just shook my head at that. "You can't keep many whales in captivity and definitely not whales the size of sperm whales. I don't think anything bigger than an orca is ever kept for long."

"And they're only taken in if they're really hurt or a baby that lost the parents." Jake nodded. "And most of that's still done in the sea if it's possible."

/So...we have a solution with no way to execute it./ Tobias, eliciting defeated sighs from everyone with a mouth.

"And eight hours until the Chee is found. We don't have a prayer." Marco grumbled, scowling at the ground.

That was pretty much all there was to it. No whale meant we couldn't even try to search for a giant squid and no giant squid meant that any attempt to save the Chee was simply suicide. We lose. The Yeerks would find the Chee and take them apart. They'd follow the signal causing this problem down to the ship. They'd abuse their technology and advance so far that even the Andalites would be screwed. We'd just failed in a way that would affect the entire galactic war horribly.

...

There was nothing we could do, so we parted ways. Marco and Jake headed off to Erek's to tell the Chee the bad news. Cassie went back to her barn and Tobias and Ax disappeared into the forest. I was tempted to go find David, but I didn't want to tell him about this yet. It was depressing enough going through it the first time. So instead, I walked home with Rachel.

"I thought you would have headed back over to the junkyard." She commented as we made it back to the concrete paths of town. "You know, pick up that rifle you were so keen to keep."

"And walk from one side of town to the other holding an illegal weapon?" I shot back with a small grin. "Nah, I'll get that at night, when no one will noticed an armed bird flying around."

"I guess that's a fair point." She said softly, not really into it. That worried me a...lot to be honest. I was expecting Rachel to be fuming. I expected a tirade about how she would like nothing more than to kick gravity's butt. I expected her to decide to rush out into the ocean as a dolphin and search the endless blue sea, as unlikely as she was to find anything. What I was getting was a troubled look and sombre words. That wasn't Rachel. Not the one I knew.

I tried starting up a conversation, struggling to find things to talk about and even more to find stuff she'd give any kind of lengthy response to, but I just kept getting the same response. Distracted, gloomy, simple answers that dwindled into nothing. I was sure I wasn't that bad at this! At least, not with people I knew fairly well, gotten closer to. And Rachel, she loved to retort and tease. I even tried making out that I had better fashion sense than her, just to get her going on about how I wouldn't know good styles if they were thrown at me, and I still got nothing! Something was really eating her away. That settled it, I was getting involved.

"Rachel, are you ok?" I asked. With Rachel, I might as well be blunt. She would be no matter what way I went about asking. Rachel doesn't have respect for the more subtle approaches. If I was going to get anywhere, and watching her, I knew I had to, I had to speak her language.

"Yeah, why? I'm fine." Her response wouldn't have convinced anyone of anything except the fact that she was lying. There was none of Rachel's life behind it, none the energy or excitement of irritation she always put into whatever she said. Just that same, gloomy tone.

"Something's bothering you." I stated, cutting right to the chase. "And don't tell me it's the Chee. Your utter lack of irritation at this failure is proof itself that something's bothering you and it's pretty big. At least to you. Come on, talk to me."

"It's really nothing." She shook her head, not even looking at me. "It's just me...playing the self pity game, making mountains out of molehills."

"Then it is something to you." I persisted stubbornly. I wasn't letting this go. It was her choice whether or not to tell me, but she wasn't even getting irritated at me as I hounded her. This was just not Rachel and it scared me. Something had happened, or built up and she was struggling with it, losing to it, so I wasn't going to drop it. "Rachel, you'll feel better if you get it off your chest and there is the chance that I might be able to help. Don't bottle it up. It'll only hurt you more later."

She didn't say anything to that, or visibly respond for a good long time. I was getting frustrated myself by the time we turned a corner and into her neighbourhood. I thought she was just going to snub me all the way back to her home and shut the door on me. However, as we came to the turnoff to her street, she kept walking.

Surprised, I watched her curiously as she kept going on until we reached a small park and sat down on a bench away from the gossiping mothers watching their kids on the play equipment. Sitting down next to her and a little unsure about what to do at that moment, I decided on keeping my mouth shut. I could see that she was thinking pretty hard about something and if I interrupted her, she might have decided not to talk to me. If she tried to get away from me, I could pursuit and nag her again anyway.

I didn't have to be patient for long, surprisingly enough. I was watching a toddler cheer for joy as she went down the slide as she spoke, her voice almost inaudible.

"I've been a bit scared lately." Tensing at that, I looked back to her just in time to see her face crumble. Everything that I never expected to see there was written all over her. Fear, doubt, confusion, insecurity, nervousness. It was so anti-Rachel. The girl could look death in the eye and spit in it, laugh in its face. She was the embodiment of confidence and bravery, with a kick butt, 'mess with me and I'll have you crying to mommy' attitude to match. This...this just blew me away!

But I couldn't let that show. Rachel couldn't know that she'd just unnerved me. So I took a long, slow breath and relaxed, turning my whole body to face her. "Scared of what?"

There was another moment of hesitation before she spoke again. Then it all just came spilling out. "Myself. I'm scared by how into the war I seem to be getting. Jake noticed it's getting bad too. He once said to me that it wouldn't be surprised if I was disappointed when the war finished and I can't fully refute him. I'm scared by the fact that lately I've been getting a little annoyed on missions when Jake shows up and takes charge. And...I scared by the fact that my normal life just doesn't seem to do it for me anymore."

"Aah! That problem." I nodded calmly as I processed everything she'd said. It was actually pretty funny really. Amongst her fears was every issue I'd suffered from since coming back, though either to a different extent or she handled it differently. Like me, she'd taken note of her dark side and wasn't too thrilled with what she saw. And we were currently dealing with the same issue on normalcy. "I'm having some trouble with that last one too."

"Already?" She asked, raising an eyebrow. "At your level of experience, I was still living my normal life just fine."

"Everyone reacts differently to every situation." I shrugged. "Everyone is unique, as are how they react to things. I think the point when it started for me was when I got my wings. My bike just...paled in comparison, you know?"

"That's similar to my problem." Rachel nodded, staring down at her hands. "Gymnastics was my thrill. The power and flexibility behind it all gave me such a rush! It was the closest I could get to flying and I loved it."

"But now you can fly and gymnastics seems mundane. Boring." I finished for her, my sympathetic smile turning a bit pained as she nodded. "All that time and effort put into it, all those dreams revolving around your sport that you craved to reach now seem so dull. Instead, you find yourself yearning for wings or the raw power of the super predators or to run as a wolf or horse. The animals we turn into simply outshine our old passions too much."

"Yeah." She sighed, rubbing her arms. There wasn't a great deal that either of us could do about that problem, we both knew it. The rush, the temporary freedom from gravity, the care you have to put into every quick move, it's what gymnastics and dirt bike racing have in common. She and I both enjoyed the rush and risk, the sensation of freedom it brought. And unfortunately, humans never have, or will, develop anything that could give us those sensations better than turning into animals. "So how do you deal with it?"

"I left David and turned into a horse because I couldn't even be bothered to walk to Cassie's." I snorted, laughing at myself. In retrospect, that was completely unnecessary and probably stupid. You don't exactly find wild horses around here. "I'm just basically creating a bigger hole for myself."

"So you don't know what I should do." She huffed in response. At least her irritation was returning, even if it was still far too clouded with sadness for my liking.

"Now, now, don't put words in my mouth." I chided, putting up a smile I usually gave Ben when I succeeded in making him pouty. "I do have an idea on how to help you with all your issues. Can't guarantee that it'll work, but it's the best shot I've got."

"Then what is it?" She demanded, almost jumping me in her haste to know.

"You need to take a step back." I said calmly, thoroughly confusing her. "All your current problems can be traced back to your involvement in the war. Of all of us, you jump into the most stuff. You plough through it, one thing after another. Your keenness to enter everything you can has allowed the war to change you more violently than most, allowed your dark side to take a more dominate role. You're irritated when Jake takes over because he wrangles you in and you want run wild through it all. And now normal life pales in comparison because of the adrenaline addiction."

"Your advice is to simply ignore missions? Not go on them?" She cried, flabbergasted and indignant, only just remembering to keep her voice down as her eyes danced over the park for anyone who might be eavesdropping. We were pretty far away from everyone though, with unobscured lines of vision, we were fine.

"I'm not saying that exactly." I shook my head, keeping my own voice calm. "I'm saying don't jump head first into them. If someone else can do it, let them. Say a three man mission shows up, let another three people do it. Let Jake or Marco or David take the lead in battle instead of bounding in first yourself. Let them play offense while you just handle defence. It'll ween your adrenaline cravings back a little and restrain the growth of your dark side.

"And at the same time, pulling that step back would give you more time for your normal life." I continued, growing more confident as I went on and Rachel grew more accepting of the idea. "Then you might find that there's something about gymnastics that's still unique and enjoyable. It'll also leave more room to find something else about the normal world that thrills you."

"Oh? And what have you found?" Rachel asked knowingly, raising an inquisitive eye at me. Suddenly, I felt like I was a bug under a microscope, having every inch of me analysed. And considering I was still only wearing spandex, that felt really uncomfortable at that moment. "You're speaking from experience. Not the gymnastics thing, you've made it clear that you're struggling with your bike, but you found something else that's normal and thrilling to you. So what is it?"

"Lexi. And Ben." I said quickly. Too quickly. My face was growing far too hot for my liking and my heart was kicking at my chest while I was kicking myself. I might as well have put a freaking billboard over my head with 'I'm hiding something embarrassing' written across it in big, bold neon. It only took a second for a smirk to grow over Rachel's face, that knowing one that said 'I know exactly what you're hiding and I'm going to make you say it'. It was relieving to see the old, confident, in your face Rachel back again, but come on, now?

"We both know I'm going to draw this out of you." She said sweetly, a tone that did not match the devious look she was giving me. "You have no poker face. The shy and socially awkward tend to wear their emotions on their sleeves for all to see and I know how to spot a crush. Now you can give me a name or I can go through the whole, very short, list of girls you actually pay any attention to and figure it out myself. Besides your sister, it only consists of like four or five and I bet I can cross Cassie and myself off the list right away.

"Oh, so I'm doing it, am I?" She grinned like the freaking Cheshire Cat when I stayed silent, staring intently at my bare feet. This was not good.

"Ok, so let's see." The grin stayed right in place as she held up three fingers, contemplating all the possibilities. Seriously? She was depressed a minute ago. Is my lacking love life really that amusing? "First there's Beth. She and Ben hang out in the library a little lately. But you two don't seem very fond of each other, so I'll say no to that one." She decided, dropping one finger. How'd she know all that anyway? It's so rare that Beth and I even cross paths and that's only when the words library and Ben are involved. I didn't know Rachel even knew where the school library was! "Then there's Marian. You say a few words to her here and there, trying to get her attention. But that's for Ben, isn't it?" That smile was really creeping me out. Couldn't we go back to me analysing her?

"Have you been spying on me or something?" I demanded, trying to shift the conversation away. If I managed it now...

"No, but the only people you know how to handle and be relaxed with are Ben and Animorphs. Your conversations with everyone else are awkward and tend to stand out." At least the smile had turned into Rachel's usual smirk now. That was slightly easier to handle. Though, I'd never had it focused on me before, so I was still uncomfortable and squirmy as hell. And then she went to the last place I wanted her to go. "And that leaves...Melissa." I didn't say anything to that, but Rachel didn't need me too. My face actually got redder. Knowing that I was caught, I just turned away, refused to look at her face. "You like Melissa." She stated. Her voice came out neutral, simply stating a fact, scaring me even more than if she'd yelled.

Melissa was one of Rachel's best friends, the one right after Cassie. She was also the friend that had deteriorated because of the Yeerks screwing up her family and it really didn't help when her duty as an Animorph drew Rachel distant from her too. My friendship with Ben working out well had encouraged Rachel to work on their weakened friendship and that was really was great. However, Rachel had grown very protective of Melissa and that's why out of everyone on the planet, Rachel was the one I didn't want knowing that I liked her. For more than one reason.

The most obvious was that I was an Animorph. I frequently go into life threatening situations that I may not return from. With her parents showing her about as much care and affection as a brick wall, Melissa wouldn't be able to handle dating someone like me, caring and being cared for by someone who may simply cease to exist the next day. Or look like they don't when they have to run off suddenly or miss a date. Without telling her the truth, it would be very painful for both of us, but especially her. It could reopen all her old wounds and make her worse than she'd been before.

Then there was the fact that I'd ruined her father and the backlash that had on her. The stress of it all and the taunting at school, seeing as he'd also been our Vice Principal which resulted in her being a teacher's pet in her desperate hope of getting his approval, had hurt her. I'd hurt her. Rachel had too at the beginning of our involvement in the war by drift away, but they had history and she'd done it partly for Melissa's own good. I hadn't even thought about Melissa until I saw the result.

"Having a crush definitely helps making your normal life exciting." I tried smiling, but it just came out as a nervous grin as I finally forced myself to look at her emotionless face. "The fight or flight thing kicks off just as if I was facing a Taxxon as myself. My heart goes crazy and breathing's tricky when I'm close to her. Then there's all those fantasies of being with her, doing cheesy things like...I don't know, a picnic or something." That treacherous blush crept down my neck and over my ears at that one. I knew it was cliché and cheesy as all hell and usually it's not the guy thinking of stuff like that unless making out was involved, but I had no dating history, no real idea what to do and just sitting there, holding her while we joked and laughed was an image that I liked. "It just...it comes with feelings that no morph or mission could ever hope to replicate, let alone enhance. Like just hanging out with Ben or cheering Lexi on at netball or her at her dance performances. I don't want to let go of those feelings. And Melissa is nice, kind, smart and strong too, to have gotten this far, to go through all she has and still manage to start smiling again, even if they are small, it's really impressive. I can't think of anyone better to be with. So is this the part where you tell me to stay away from her?" I asked, turning my head away again as my voice turned bitter. Rachel still hadn't shown the slightest bit of emotion. She wasn't happy, she was gonna explode at me any moment, she...

"No. Though I recommend you think very hard about every possibility and what you're committing to before you ever make a move. That is, assuming you ever make one." Shocked wide eyed, I ripped my gaze right back to her, my jaw dropping. I was absolutely dumbfounded. The words had come out so casual, so light hearted, only carrying a friendly warning to them, nothing threatening whatsoever. She was even giving me a small, teasing smile. "How could I ever stand in the way of true love?" She teased, laughing as my dulling blush regained its strength. "You're a good guy Warren. If it weren't for the Animorph part, you'd be perfect for her, in my opinion anyway. You could help her through her problems and make her happy. If you choose to go for it, I won't stop you. Just make sure that she won't get hurt in the process first. Make sure you know that you are not allowed to run off on her or die." She added with a motherly lecture, waving her finger in my face and everything.

"Deal." I smiled gratefully as we fell into a companionable silence. It felt good for that moment. No worries about the Yeerks and everything involved, no disasters rearing their ugly heads, just two friends who'd never spent any time together without a third party relaxing and enjoying each other's company. "I'll make you another deal too." I said casually, drawing her interest back. "You work on enjoying a 'normal' life and I'll do the same. Help each other have fun with normalcy while we're at it."

"I can accept that." Rachel nodded before her face turned thoughtful. "Actually, since we're talking crushes and normalcy anyway, maybe you can help me out with something else."

"Oh? What is it?" That peaked my curiosity. I struggled to get everything out of her and now she was opening up completely on her own.

"A boy asked me out at gymnastics this morning." She started, biting her lower lip. Strange, she didn't usually get nervous about such things.

"Oh yeah? How'd you break the guy's ego this time?" I smiled, keeping it light. No sense picking at it, it was best to keep the air casual. She smiled in response, just what I was hoping for. Something was tricky about this one, it was best to keep her as far into her comfort zone as I could.

"I only said not a chance." She shook her head, before adding hesitantly. "But my mouth moved before my brain gave it orders. I wanted to say yes."

"So why didn't you?" That was interesting. What had stopped her? Well, actually that wasn't too hard to figure out, something I was reminded of as a pigeon flew over my head. The better question was what made her want to say yes.

"You know that I sort of have something with Tobias. Everyone does." She stated a little moodily. "I am a lot of things, some of them far from good, but I am not disloyal. But it's just...Tobias is...and T.T. is..."

"One's dominantly a bird and the other is permanently human?" I tried, getting a sigh and a nod in return. That part was easy to figure out. Dating a bird's unheard of and not really possible. Morphing doesn't really help either, there's a two hour limit. A proper teenage date usually lasts three or four, from the little I know. A fully human boy would definitely be enticing to Rachel's position. "So what made you want to say yes? You usually don't even consider the flirts worth your time. What's special about this guy?"

"I'm not sure." Was her response, shaking her head. "He's tall. And cute. And human. As cocky and confident as I usually am. If I went out with him and saw a movie, we could stop for burgers afterward instead of growing feathers and looking for road kill. It could fun, it could be..."

"Normal?" I offered. I saw where this was going. "He's a normal guy with normal expectations and not someone you have to worry about getting eaten by a raccoon every night. Someone you can walk openly with and lean on instead of always being the supporting figure." Everything Tobias couldn't be with feathers and a beak.

"Yeah, that basically sums it up." I really felt bad for her. Even from the start, you could see something between her and Tobias. But his form always got in the way. Tobias makes it even worse than it has to be. The whole time I've been back, I've only seen his human face a small handful of times. He chooses to stay as a hawk, only morphing human when he has to and usually complains about the eyes and lack of wings the whole time. And even if Rachel had a female red tailed hawk morph, birds don't date. What could they do, take a flight around his meadow? We all do that nearly every day, how that would be considered a date?

In Rachel's movie and burgers scenario, Tobias could just demorph and morph again in some unseen location after the movie, but he wouldn't even do that. Four hours stuck on the ground with 'poor human vision' was too much for him. Don't get me wrong, I'm not looking down at Tobias or upset with him or anything. I'm not trying to blame him or say this is all his fault, because he has his own issues he hasn't worked out. There are reasons he chose to stay a hawk at every opportunity of freedom from it presented to him. It's just, at Rachel's standpoint, it's the cause of all the strife and it just isn't mentally healthy for her to have to deal with this.

"You know...Tobias is probably gonna give me the silent treatment for this, but...I think that maybe you should say yes." There, I bit the bullet.

"Say what?" Rachel was completely thrown off by that and I didn't blame her. It was a bit shocking for her, especially since I knew exactly why she said no in the first place. To her, and most people, it was a solid argument.

"Rachel, you and Tobias have never actually gotten together, so you're not being disloyal." I started calmly, but firmly. I had to press this. "You are free to date other people. And I'm not saying become this guy's girlfriend. I'm saying that maybe you should try going on one lousy date with him."

"Why do you think that?"

"Because you need to see if that's what you want." Was my response. She was getting a little excitable, but I was staying calm. Rachel was good practice for me. No matter how sessions go, a psychologist has to stay calm, cool and collected. And it was the best way to make others see your point. With no emotion or word play behind it, suggestions and advice were more likely to be accepted as they're intended, not confused for another meaning or seeming like an emotional call. It emphasises that it's all planned out and thought over carefully. Something Rachel needed to know now. "Rachel, you're struggling because you want a normal relationship and Tobias can't give you that. This T.T. guy can. You need to experience a normal relationship, to see if that's truly what you want and need. Tobias may be what you want, but if he can't give you what you need, then you'll never be truly happy with him. You'll only hurt each other in the long run. That's why I suggesting taking a normal date with a normal guy. To see if that is what you need. If it makes you happy. If you just choose Tobias, that's your choice and I'll accept it, but you'll always look over your shoulder wondering how different and better it could be if you had an ordinary relationship. If you go on the normal date and don't like it, then that's ok too. You'll know what it's like and stop wondering. And either way, you'd end one of Tobias' issues. Self-directed anger for selfishly putting you through this. His words, not mine." I added quickly as she got indignant.

"He told you that?"

"No, I did my thing. It's not hard to figure out when you know what to look for, even without facial expressions." I shrugged, sinking back into the bench. This was taxing. I needed a nap. "Look, get his permission if that's what you need, but I do think you should try it. It may work out or may not, but at least you'll know what you want and need."

"I guess...a movie or something wouldn't hurt." She finally conceded, her own form sinking down onto the wood in defeat. "I don't even have to consider it a date anyway. It can just be two people hanging out."

"Very true." I nodded. "So, what does T.T. stand for anyway?" I was done with the serious stuff.

"I don't know." Rachel seemed over it too, shrugging as she pondered my question. "I'll have to ask when he tries asking me out again."

"Oh, you're so sure he will?" I grinned, turning to her with tired amusement. "You must have been unusually lenient with that rejection."

"Oh, he'd try again even if I told him to get lost." There's that spark and bravado I'm so used to seeing. "Guys like him have one of two responses to rejection from a Goddess like me; assume I'm really into them and just playing hard to get or take it as an insult to their ego and work ridiculously hard to impress me just to remove that horrible little stain that says they're not the perfect studs they deceive themselves into thinking they are."

"Oh jeez." We both fell into laughter at that, quickly falling into a banter about which gender was more ridiculous when it came to attracting a partner.

"So..." Rachel started as we calmed down from another bout of laughter, scaring me as her lips grew into a vicious smirk. "I seem to remember your rag clad butt telling me that you had better fashion sense than I do."

Oh crap! Someone save me, I'm doomed.


AN: I always felt that someone should have had this kind of conversation with Rachel. The others noticed what was happening to her at one point or another, but none of them really tried to do anything about it. I always both admired and felt really bad for Rachel, how she always sacrificed her own well being for the others and it annoyed me that they just sort of got wary and irritated with the result instead of trying to help her.

Thanks again for the reviews. I'm glad that people like where I'm going with Ben. I really like how I've got both him and Warren developing right now and it really is rewarding to know others approve. Well, see ya next week