My muse must love me; I just wrote about half this chapter in one sitting.

Disclaimer: Sticking to the previous one.


"Sanji!" a redheaded woman called impatiently from the doorway of the bar.

"Oh, Miss Nami!" the barman said anxiously, scuttling out from behind the bar. "It's terrible! That violent brute from your crew left without paying for all the damage he caused when he started that fight last week…"

Nami sighed, and a vein began to twitch above her eye. "Which way did he go?" she asked.

"He and the strange monk followed that Nanashi fellow out," the unfortunate man explained, wringing his hands in dismay.

"Monk?" Nami asked puzzled.

"Monk?" another voice asked. "He didn't happen to act like a dirty old man and ask any of the women here to bear his child, did he?"

Nami choked, and a hand thumped her on the back. "I know, he can be a bit much sometimes," said the voice sympathetically. When Nami had recovered her breath, she turned to see a woman dressed in a pink and white kimono with a green apron tied about her waist. The most noticeable thing about her, though, was the boomerang taller than she was slung on her back.

"I'm Sango, a demon slayer," she explained. "And the monk sounds like the man I've been looking for. We should have known better than to let him go off drinking by himself."

"Nami, navigator," Nami said. "Do you know anything about this Nanashi guy?"

"I'd be surprised if she did," said another voice. "You'd have to hang around with all the wrong types of people to know him." A pink-haired woman at a nearby table stood and joined them. "Or me," she added playfully with a giggle.

"And you are?" Nami asked, folding her arms.

"Someone to be wary of, little girl," she answered, suddenly a lot more serious. "I am Dorothy, and I am a powerful witch."

"Really? A witch?" Sango asked doubtfully while Nami struggled to hide a snigger.

"Really!" Dorothy snapped, and with a snap of her fingers and a quick mutter, a dagger appeared in her hand in a puff of smoke.

"Neat trick," said Nami, secretly impressed.

"What were you saying about Nanashi?" asked Sango.

"He's a thief," she answered off-handedly, still playing with her dagger. "But unfortunately, Ginta wants him back, and I'll do anything for my darling Ginta!" She ended on a squeal, and Sango and Nami exchanged a 'What's with her?' glance.

"So, if all three of them have gone off together, shall we go after them together?" Dorothy asked.

x

"What happened to you?" Sanji asked, lifting an eyebrow at Miroku's dejection.

"You really do not want to know," the monk answered, not bothering to lift his head off the desk.

Before Sanji could say anything, the two men they had seen earlier entered the classroom and took the seats behind them. "So, you two are the new guys, hmm?" Shigure asked.

"Yeah. I'm Sanji," the blonde said.

"And on my better days, I am Miroku," he said, half-raising a hand.

"Ah, I see Shigure and Brock are already teaching you how this classroom works," Nanashi said brightly, almost hidden behind the large stack of books he was carrying.

"Oh, not the books again," Brock moaned quietly.

"So, what sort of lessons does he teach, anyway?" Sanji whispered as Nanashi set the massive pile of books down on the raised desk that stood in front of a blackboard at the front of the room.

"Well, yesterday it was how to choose a wine to go with dinner," Shigure said, leaning on his desk and propping up his head with one hand. "That wasn't much use to me, as the girls I like are too young to drink anyway. He did say he was planning to rethink the syllabus after seeing our lack of interest yesterday, though."

Before anyone could say anything more, Nanashi called for their attention. "I know that yesterday's lesson wasn't the most interesting one I've given, but it did have a purpose, and… yes, Brock?"

"When will you teach us how to ask a girl out without being rejected?" Brock asked eagerly.

"When I have taught you how to behave on a date. If I teach you the asking part first, you may be tempted to use your knowledge before you are ready for the actual date, completely ruining any chance you had with that girl," Nanashi replied smoothly, not missing a beat.

"As I was saying, today's lesson will be quite different!" he said enthusiastically. "These legendary books, in which the wisdom of men regarding women has been collected for centuries, will be… tossed aside in favour of the new and so much better wisdom of my years of experience and success!"

Nanashi pushed the stack of books off the desk, and they fell with a resounding crash all over the floor as his class stared at him, dumbfounded. "Instead, today, we will first have a quick test to see your current skill level."

"A test! I knew I should have studied!" Brock groaned, head in his hands.

"First question! If a woman asks, 'Does this dress make me look fat?', what is the correct response?" he asked, writing the question up on the blackboard as he went. "Brock?"

"Of course not!" Brock said proudly. This was easy!

"Wrong. She will automatically think you're lying," Nanashi said briskly. "Shigure?"

"Yes, it does," he answered lazily.

Nanashi gave him a look that said 'What do you think?', and turned to the next student. "Miroku?"

"You answer, 'It's a lovely colour'," the monk said, lifting up his head and taking an interest.

"She'll just tell you off for changing the subject," Nanashi said, "but that was a good try. Sanji?"

"You say, 'Anything looks good on you, honey,'" he answered, lighting up a fresh cigarette.

"Yes! Well done! That is one of the few answers that will not result in you being coldly ignored or berated for the rest of the day. Write that answer down, class," Nanashi added.

"Right, next question! If you are walking with your girl, and you see this girl," he said, turning on a projector and showing a slide of a pretty woman, "walking on the other side of the street and your girl asks you if you think she's pretty, what is your answer? Sanji?"

"Hello, gorgeous," Sanji said, his cigarette dangly limply from the corner of his mouth as he stared at the picture.

Nanashi's mouth twitched in amusement, and he turned to Brock, whose eyes had become pink hearts. "Brock?"

"Hmm? What? Did you say something?"

Nanashi sighed. "Shigure? What's your answer?"

"She's not my type," Shigure replied.

"Nice, but she won't take that as an answer," Nanashi said. "What about you, Miroku?"

"I'd say, 'As if I could look at any other woman when I'm with you!'" he answered.

Nanashi caught himself gaping, and shut his mouth quickly. "That is absolutely correct, but remember class, it will only work if it is said in a completely sincere tone, so practise that fake sincerity!"

"Hey, Miroku," Sanji whispered as Nanashi began writing the next question up on the board. "How did you know that?"

"Easy," he replied. "I'd rather sleep with one woman than upset two."


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