Past Mistakes

Chapter four

Serious Sirius

Harry, or Damien now, slowly settled in with his makeshift family. He still couldn't bring himself to think of them as his family. It simply hurt too much.

It was... interesting to spend time with his counterpart. And he was utterly helpless when it came to the twins; siblings were something he had always wished for, and he couldn't really resist them. James and Lily, however, were watching him every chance they got. They could tell he was purposefully keeping his distance to them and couldn't help but wonder why. It was Damien's fifth day with the Potters when something out of the ordinary happened. Damien was helping Lily with dinner as the front door burst open and a heart-wrenchingly familiar voice hollered into the house.

"Oi! Prongs! You can take your threats and shove them; I want to meet the new addition to the family!"

Damien dropped the knife he was cutting vegetables with, and it would most likely have hit his foot if it hadn't been for Lily's quick reaction. She levitated the knife and sent Damien a concerned look.

"Are you alright?" She asked worriedly.

Damien barely heard her, as he slowly turned around. And there was one person he hadn't seen in... two years.

"Sirius." He breathed the name, feeling all blood drain from his face. Sirius peered curiously at him from the doorway. He didn't have time for much else, before Damien's vision darkened and he stumbled to the side. He would have fallen if not for Lily, who quickly grabbed him.

"A bit of help here." She said urgently. "Damien? Harry?" She switched back to his true name. Damien could hear approaching footsteps, and felt a second pair of hands take hold of one of his arms. He was half carried into the sitting room and placed on the sofa.

"What happened? Is he usually like this?" Sirius' puzzled voice managed to penetrate the darkness clinging to Damien's mind.

"Shush. Give him some room."

"What's going on?" James entered the room, just to see his wife and best friend hovering over Damien, who sat slumped in the sofa. "Is he alright?" He approached them worriedly. "Should I call Pomfrey?"

"I don't know. I think he fainted." Lily murmured, frowning as she pressed her hand against the boy's forehead. Her eyes lingered on the odd scar there a moment, but Damien soon fluttered his eyelids, drawing her attention elsewhere. It wasn't as if she hadn't seen it before; she had caught glimpses of it repeatedly in the last week. "Damien, are you feeling better now?" She asked, stroking his hair back from his face in what she hoped was a comforting manner.

Damien opened his eyes and his gaze was immediately drawn towards stormy blue. "Sirius." Was all he managed to say.

"That's my name, don't wear it out." Sirius smiled thinly. "Have we met before?"

"Not here." Damien slowly sat up. Now that he was over the initial shock, he could barely look at the man. This was not his Sirius. This man hadn't lost his best friend and his wife, had never been betrayed by one of his closest friends, and had certainly never spent any length of time in Azkaban.

"What are you all doing?" Another familiar voice asked, sounding faintly amused.

Lily watched with rising alarm as all colour drained from Damien's face once again.

"Remus?" But this time, instead of fainting, the boy jumped up and hurried up to the man. "Remus." He reached out to take hold of said man's arm, staring intently up at his face.

"Er, yes?" Remus was clearly at a loss of what to do. He felt rather uncomfortable under the intense scrutiny this strangely familiar boy was subjecting him to. And then the moment was over and Damien realised what it was he was doing.

"I'm sorry." He immediately released his hold on him. "I didn't mean to startle you." He diverted his gaze. He turned around and spotted Sirius again. The hurt, regret, guilt and longing that jolted through him quickly made him turn away. He ended up staring at the wall, highly uncomfortable with the entire situation.

James watched it all with a puzzled look. He was trying hard to stomp down on the unexpected wave of jealousy rising in his chest. This was supposed to be his son, if only from a different reality. Why did he show more reaction to his two best friends than to him, his father? He exchanged a quick glance with his wife, and could tell she was thinking something similar.

"So, uh, you know Moony and me?" Sirius broke the awkward silence that had been building in the room. Damien nodded jerkily, still staring at the wall.

"Do you know us well? Or, is that an odd question? I mean, I'm supposed to be your godfather and all." Sirius chatted away.

Damien took a deep breath and slowly turned to give Sirius a tremulous smile. "You're family." He managed to get out, before he had to avert his gaze again.

James blinked. Weren't they his family? He shook his head; there was probably a perfectly sensible explanation to all of this. It didn't make it easier, though. It didn't take a genius to see that this Harry had been treated vastly different from their son.

"Alright. We need to talk." James had had enough. "Please sit down, Damien. Or maybe we ought to call you Harry for this?" He mused.

Damien slowly shuffled over to the sofa, to reclaim his seat. Sirius and Remus shared a glance, before joining them as James and Lily sat down on either side of the boy.

"Ok. We can tell there's something that's obviously bothering you. Care to tell us what?" James began. Lily sent him a reproachful look.

"Were we really such horrible parents in your world? You can hardly look at any of us." She asked quietly. Damien flinched as if struck.

"No!" He shook his head.

"Then what?" James was at the end of his patience. "You show more emotions when you look at Sirius and Remus now, than you've done towards us your entire stay here."

Sirius blinked and shared another quick glance with Remus.

Damien opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out and he slowly closed it again. James wanted to demand the truth, but a sharp glare from Lily stopped him. "You're all dead." Damien eventually blurted.

His words sent cold shivers down Lily's spine. "What do you mean?" That actually explained a lot.

Damien fidgeted with the hem of his shirt for a bit, before taking a deep breath. "In my world there was a man; a very evil wizard named Tom Riddle." He began to tell. "He named himself Lord Voldemort and set out to conquer the world." He smiled sardonically.

"What does this have to do with anything?" Sirius asked before he could help himself. Three furious glares and one look filled with fond amusement silenced him.

"Everything." Damien spoke the word softly. Another stretch of silence and then he continued. "He killed and tortured so many people, and the war seemed endless. The ministry was on the brink of destruction and hope seemed to be lost." Damien sent Lily a quick, furtive glance. "Until a prophesy was told."

"A prophesy?" This time it was Remus who interrupted.

Damien nodded. "The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches. Born to those who have trice defied him. Born as the seventh month dies..." He began, and those who listened felt dread settling over the room. Harry was born at the end of July. "A spy heard that part, and told Voldemort. But he never knew the entire thing."

"What does the rest of it say?" It was Lily who spoke.

"But he shall have power the Dark Lord knows not, and he shall mark him as his equal. The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies." Damien finished, his voice hollow.

"Mark him?" James frowned.

Damien heaved a heavy sigh and lifted his dark fringe, showing a lightning-shaped scar. "There were only two possible couples who fit into the description. You." He looked at the Potters. "And the Longbottoms." He paused again. Merlin, this was difficult. "Voldemort chose you... or, rather, me." He gave a grim smile.

"Didn't we know? Didn't we try to get away?" Lily asked, dreading where this story was heading.

"You did." Damien nodded. "But you were betrayed. You trusted Peter Pettigrew to be your Secret Keeper, and he handed you over to Voldemort practically on a silver platter." Sirius growled. "He came after you on Halloween." Damien took a deep breath. "He killed my dad first." He shot a look at James. "He tried to hold him back, to let my mom get away with me. Then, Voldemort told her to step away from me." He glanced at Lily's stony features. "She refused, and he killed her. Then he turned his wand on me, fired an Avada Kedavra..." His voice tapered off.

"What happened?" James wanted -needed- to know.

"The curse rebounded. Hit him, and he died." Damien finished the story lamely. They all sat in silence for quite some time before Lily spoke up, her voice trembling.

"How...H-how old were you?"

"One."

All four of them stared. "How can you remember all those details? No, how can you remember it at all?" Remus asked faintly.

"I don't. Not really." Damien shrugged. "I sometimes had dreams of green flashes of light when I was younger, but that was it."

"Then how?" James asked.

"It's what I hear when I'm close to a dementor." Came Damien's muted reply.

Lily paled. Even Sirius looked shaken, and he reached out a hand and grabbed James' shoulder in a painful grip.

"So I take it I raised you, then?" Sirius tried to give him a smile, but it turned into more of a pained grimace. Damien mutedly shook his head. "Then... Remus?" Again, he shook his head.

"Why not? Who raised you?" James bit out. "I'd like to think there would be some hell kind of circumstances before Sirius gave up his right to raise you!" His chaotic emotions took on the characteristics of anger.

"Remember that I said Pettigrew handed you over to Voldemort?"

"Yeah." Sirius's voice was filled with trepidation.

"Well... no one knew he was the Secret Keeper." Damien sighed. "Everyone thought it was you." His green eyes pinned Sirius in place, making it hard to breathe.

"But..."

"You knew there was a traitor in the Order-"

"Order?" Remus interrupted in a muted voice. This was far from a cheerful story.

"The Order of the Phoenix. Dumbledore created it to fight against Voldemort and his Death Eaters." He made a brief pause. "I suppose they were afraid it was you. Because they didn't even tell you, Remus." He sent Remus an apologetic look. "And when Sirius found out what Peter had done, he went here..." He looked around at the house they sat in. "The rebounding curse had pretty much destroyed part of the house. And when Hagrid came to retrieve me, you gave him your motorcycle." He turned back to Sirius. "And then you went after the rat."

Sirius gave a faint, grim smile. "Did I kill him?" There was an almost predatory glint in his eyes.

Damien slowly shook his head. "If only." He sighed. "Peter had anticipated it. You caught him in the middle of a street in muggle London, and he screamed out about how you had betrayed my parents, leaving several witnessed, and then blew up the street, killing twelve muggles. He cut off one of his fingers, turned into a rat and disappeared down into the sewers, faking his death." Silence rang in the room. "They shipped you off to Azkaban without even the courtesy of a trial." Damien added angrily.

Sirius' stunned expression slowly turned into one of horror, as the implications dawned on him. "But how did you know me? If I was in..." It seemed he was unable to say it out loud.

Damien sent him a warm, affectionate smile. "You escaped my third year. You found out Pettigrew was still at large, and even had easy access to me at Hogwarts, and you headed out to finish the crime you had been incarcerated for."

"Sirius escaped from Azkaban? No one has ever done that." Remus spoke softly, sounding to be on the brink of fainting.

"No one knew he was an unregistered animagus." Damien shrugged, unconcerned.

"But who raised you, then?" Lily cut in. She looked upset. "Was it Alice and Frank?" Damien flinched.

"No, they... couldn't."

"Why not?" James asked with a sneaking suspicion. "Had they been killed too? You said Neville was the other candidate to that prophesy."

"Not... quite." Damien sighed heavily. "I even met them once, when I was fifteen. They're living in St. Mungo's long term ward."

"Why?" They dreaded the answer, but still couldn't help but ask.

"A few Death Eaters attacked them, looking for Voldemort after he had tried to murder me. The Longbottom's were tortured until they lost their minds." Damien told them serenely. "Neville was raised by his grandmother." He added softly.

Stunned silence. "So wh-"

"My mother sacrificed herself for me." Damien cut into the question. "She didn't have to die, but she refused to step aside when Voldemort came after me." He sent Lily a pained look. "As the options for guardians were rather slim, Dumbledore decided to use that sacrifice to give me the best protection he could think of." A pregnant silence filled the room. The only one with a clue as to what he was getting at was Lily, and her expression was quickly darkening. "He established powerful blood-wards by leaving me with the only living blood relative I had left." He finished.

"No!" Lily jumped to her feet, immediately furious. "I refuse to believe it!" She practically screeched.

Damien stared at her, eyes wide. He hadn't expected this reaction.

"Lily, calm down!" James looked worriedly at his wife. "He might mean my parents." He added, with a hopeful glance at Damien.

"Your parents?" He frowned. The hope in James' eyes went out like a light.

"So you were raised by... by Lily's sister?" Remus asked tersely. They had all heard everything they needed to know about the woman. And you could even see all the affection she had bestowed upon her nephew... or the lack thereof.

"Yeah. The Dursleys." Damien nodded shortly. Lily muttered something rude about Petunia's whale of a husband, but everyone ignored her. "And, well... I didn't know I was a wizard until Hagrid came to get me." He shrugged.

"What about the letter?" James asked almost pleadingly. "You should have been able to read it in the Hogwarts letter."

"I wasn't allowed to read it." Damien shrugged, as if it wasn't really important. The adults all took a moment to think about that, to digest the news. It was something all magical children looked forward to; finally getting their Hogwarts letter.

"Wait a moment." James slowly said. "Albus said you had come straight out of a war when you arrived. Don't tell me there was another one so soon after?" He frowned.

"Well..." Damien shifted uncomfortably. "Remember Voldemort? Turns out he didn't actually die when he was hit by the rebounding Avada Kedavra."

"How is that possible?" Remus rubbed his fingers against his eyes tiredly.

"Ever heard of Horcruxes?" Damien asked them reluctantly.

All of them looked confused, except for Sirius, who had grown incredibly pale. "What?" His voice was rough and strained. "You don't mean..?"

"Yes. I do." Damien said, a steely glint in his eyes now. "And he made seven of them." He added stonily.

Sirius looked like he would faint. Or throw up.

"What are Horcruxes?" Lily asked, her fury temporarily forgotten.

"It's the darkest, foulest magic you can imagine." Sirius spat out. "It leaves the wizard or witch that tries it barely human." The disgust he was feeling was plain for them all to see and hear.

Damien nodded. "Voldemort was far from human anymore. And he wasn't exactly sane either." He shrugged again. "He wanted to become immortal." He explained at the mystified looks he received. "Anyway. Because he had these horcruxes, he couldn't die in the normal sense. When his body was destroyed by the rebounding curse, he became a sort of wraith." He made a brief pause. "He returned when I was fourteen." He glanced down at his body, grimacing.

"H-how?" It was Lily who spoke now. "How could he possibly 'return', as you put it?"

"He regained his body and former power." Damien stated evenly, eyeing them all speculatively, as if wondering if they could handle any more of his story today. "He went through with a ritual that required a number of evil ingredients." His hand went unconsciously to rest on his left arm, right over the scar from the cut Wormtail had made. All of the adults noticed, and the grim realization dawned on them. This... version of their son had been used in a Dark ritual.

"How did you survive? And why would he even want to use you in the first place?" Lily asked angrily, tears stinging her eyes.

Damien startled. "Uh. It's not exactly common for people to survive the killing curse." He said uncomfortably. Sirius snorted. "And since that's what got rid of Voldemort..." His voice tapered off, and it was easy to see the uncomfortable embarrassment on his face.

"You got famous." James stated incredulously.

Damien grimaced. "They called me the Boy-Who-Lived." He rolled his eyes. "And later on, The Chosen One." His eyes narrowed dangerously now, staring off into the distance at something only he could see. "Rather convenient for them, really." The cold disdain in his voice was chilling. He returned to the story with visible effort. "I was a symbol of his demise. And I was the one mentioned in the prophesy, so... He required the blood of his enemy, and I was the best choice." He shrugged. "He also wanted my blood because of my mother's protection. He hadn't been able to touch me before the ritual. He no longer had that problem afterwards." Damien scowled, suppressing a shudder. Not that it had been painless.

"...how had he been able to touch you if he was a wraith?" Remus asked quietly, eyeing Damien intently.

Damien gave him a wry grin. "Nothing ever slips passed you, Remus." The smile quickly slipped off his face, leaving no trace of mirth. "He possessed a teacher my first year, trying to steal the Philosopher's stone. Touching my skin burned him badly."

"He... attacked you?" James tried to keep his voice even.

"Me and my friends were... a curious bunch." Damien chuckled humorlessly. "We figured out the stone was hidden at Hogwarts, and knew that someone was trying to steal it." He shrugged again. "We went after him, to protect it."

"You were eleven!" Lily objected heatedly. "What were the teachers doing?!"

"We tried to tell McGonagall." Damien said defensively. "She didn't believe us. After all; we were just eleven year old children. What did we know?" He stated dryly.

"But, Dumbledore..." Remus began desperately.

"Had been called away by Quirrellmort, with a fake owl from the ministry. It was the perfect opportunity to try and steal it."

"Quirrellmort?" Sirius asked curiously, a note of amusement in his voice despite the gravity of the conversation.

"Yeah." Damien grinned. "His name was Quirrell, and he had Voldemort sticking out of the back of his head. Thus; Quirrellmort."

Sirius snorted. "Sounds like a charming git."

"He was pathetic. I don't think I learned anything in his lessons. All he did was stutter and give me headaches, anyway." Damien muttered.

Lily reached out and took hold of his right hand, gently stroking her thumb over the scars on the back. "Is this because of him, too?"

"Indirectly." Damien stared at his hand in Lily's.

"What the- ! Is that writing?" Sirius stared at his hand. "I must not tell lies." He read off the back of his hand. "Oi, mate. What kind of life have you had?" He demanded to know, a note of nauseated horror in his voice.

"Not a boring one." Damien answered dryly. "I'm sorry, but can I go to bed now? I think I'm getting a headache." He muttered. And it was true; a steady pulsing had begun behind his eyes, steadily working its way to becoming painful.

"Of course!" Lily shot up from her seat, wrapping him in a tight hug. Damien froze. "Please sleep tight." She said as she released him, eyeing him worriedly. "I can give you a bottle of Dreamless sleep, if you want?" She added.

"It's fine. Thanks." And Damien shuffled out of the room.

.o.O.o.

"Did you guys hear that?" Dorea whispered to her brothers. They had been eavesdropping in the kitchen. None of the adults had spared them a thought once Damien had begun to tell them his story, and they had taken shameless advantage of it. They had been forced to scramble out of the way when Damien had headed upstairs, though.

"I think he noticed us." Sebastian said hesitantly, glancing up the stairs.

"So? He didn't say anything. That's practically the same as permission." Dorea dismissed his concern with a wave of her hand. Sebastian looked at his older brother and saw that he was visibly shaken and dangerously pale.

"Are you alright, Harry?" He asked worriedly. Harry slowly nodded. To know that that could have been his life... He had met his cousin and his family just once. That one occasion had been enough to last a lifetime. To actually grow up there... he shuddered at the thought.

"No wonder he's so withdrawn." He murmured. Sebastian nodded. "Come on." Harry decided they had heard enough for one night. And their parents might not want their children to hear their reactions. Harry sure as hell wouldn't want anyone to hear him break down.

Dorea pouted a moment, before giving in. "Alright. We can always ask Damien more about it when we go to Hogwarts."

"Dorea." Sebastian cut in seriously. "Damien might not want to talk about it. If you pressure him, I'll tell mum." He warned, green eyes sharp. Dorea looked speechless before she spluttered a response.

"You wouldn't tell mum..." She sounded horrified. "You'd get into trouble, too!"

"I would. I like Damien and don't want to push him away." Sebastian didn't seem the least bit concerned about their mother's wrath. Harry eyed his little brother warily. Most people thought Sebastian was meek and harmless just because he was calm and rarely spoke to strangers. But he hadn't been placed in Gryffindor without reason. He could be quite frightening when he so put in the effort.

.o.O.o.