Disclaimer: me no own
Voldyismoldy: Thank you all for your reviews alerts and favorites they are all greatly appreciated and I am glad so many people like this story so far. Some have wondered if Draco will figure out that the three he likes are all the same person the answer is yes eventually but it will take some time. To Crimsonwolfdemon I appreciate that you hate certain characters in this story but please don't kill them yet I need them for now but you can have them when I am done with them ok. Vegas chick I hope I didn't make you wait to long for this chapter and please enjoy.
Warning: not to much to warn about some beatings and whippings but nothing graphic.
Chapter 4. Oh The Tangled Webs We Weave.
Harry trembled as he sat inside the carriage with his stepsisters who were both thankfully ignoring him. He knew he was in for another beating when they got home and could only imagine how angry Bellatrix would be when she discovered what he had done. How he had unintentionally taken the princes attention away from her daughters and upset them. Fortunately they didn't know about how he had spoken to the prince before or how the man had almost kissed him, they would have been even angrier if they did.
That was where his thoughts were now, despite his fear of the coming beating, on what had happened with him and Prince Draco. How could he have ever spoken to the crown prince that way and not only that but he was going to let him kiss him! He was nothing but a servant in a pretty dress and had no right to say what he did to him and with such anger. If the prince had known the truth about him he would have had him punished as well for his insolence and audacity and he was only grateful that he didn't and no one else had been there to hear him.
Harry had been so shocked when they had arrived at the manor and been introduced to the prince to find that he was the same blonde boy he had met only days ago. He had felt nervous and uncertain, fearful that the boy would recognize him through his disguise, and wanting nothing more than to get away from them to collect his thoughts. But he had to sit there and listen to his stepsisters explain a life he had never lived in a place he had never been to like he knew it all already until at last he was able to make his escape.
He slipped off into the garden simply wanting a moment alone and not knowing that the prince was following him. He was surprised when he had taken his hand after he had hurt himself and told him he was beautiful. He had never had anyone tell him he was beautiful before or make him feel like he was worth something but the prince had. It had been intoxicating and for a few minutes he had forgotten who he truly was and let himself believe that he was this person the prince liked until the servant had come and brought it all back.
He wasn't Lilly, the girl Draco was entranced by, and he wasn't beautiful or worth anything. He was only Harry, a servant of no account, who was ugly and stupid and the prince would have hated him if he knew the truth. He hadn't thought he was beautiful at all but only someone else who didn't exist and never had. He had wanted to get away after that, having been overwhelmed by it all, but Draco had grabbed him and insisted that he needed to see him again and he couldn't say no to him.
He had looked so desperate and hopeful that Harry had agreed before he could even think about it or stop himself. Fortunately he had enough presence of mind to tell him to come on Sunday when the ladies would be out at church and the market all day but how was he to pull this off. How was he to continue to pretend to be this woman he had named after his mother and keep the prince from finding out the truth. He was a fool who hadn't wanted the dream to end but it was inevitable that it would sooner or later.
The trip back to the manor went far to quickly for Harry and far to soon they were leaving the carriage and his stepsisters were hurrying to tell their mother what had happened. Bellatrix was as furious about what he had done as he had thought she would be and he soon found himself stripped of the dress and cowering on the floor of the kitchen bloody and bruised with new welts on his back from the whip. His stepmother didn't stop his punishment until there wasn't an inch of him that hadn't been touched and stained with blood and his naked body was trembling despite the fact that he had lost consciousness.
It was only then that she stopped and she and her daughters left the kitchen leaving him to Lavender to tend. The girl picked him up in her arms heedless of the blood staining her arms and clothes. He was so small and light that even she could carry him without difficulty and she brought him to her bed where she laid him down. She then quickly got a bowl of water and some clothes and carefully washed him wincing every time he hissed or flinched in pain despite being unconscious.
As she cared for him he eventually returned to consciousness only to stare miserably up at the ceiling tears in his eyes and streaming down his face. She spoke to him soothingly as she wrapped up his many wounds and questioned him gently about what had happened to cause this beating. It took sometime but eventually Harry broke down and told her everything even the things his stepsisters and mother weren't aware of. She held him as he cried into her chest his despair and confusion and his love for someone who would never know and could never know.
"Oh Harry how do you get yourself into these things?" She asked when he finished with a small smile. He smiled sadly in response and she sighed softly. "Well at least you chose a day when the ladies won't be here that is something at least."
"Does it matter Lavy I can't meet him again. How am I supposed to keep pretending that I am a woman and a noble when I am neither?" Harry asked despondently wincing every time he moved from the pain in his body and in his heart. "The prince would hate me if he knew the truth and I don't even have anything to wear. I can't steal one of the girls dresses they'd know and I would be punished again."
"Now there I can help you," Lavender told him standing up and helping him to his feet with a conspiratorial look on her face. "Follow me. "
Without giving him a chance to respond she left the kitchen and having no other choice he followed her wondering what she was talking about. She lead him quietly through the manor and up into the attic without them being seen by anyone. The attic was small and dusty and cluttered with things and Harry was only glad Bellatrix had never wanted him to clean it. It would have taken days to do so and to get rid of all the old and broken furniture in it.
Lavender lead him over to one of the far corners of the attic that had nothing in it except an old wooden chest. She knelt in front of it and Harry gingerly joined her on the floor as she took out a key from her apron pocket and unlocked it. The chest creaked loudly as it was opened for the first time in what he was sure was a long time and peering inside he found what appeared to be a pile of carefully folded dresses that he had never seen before.
"Lavy who do these dresses belong to and why are they up here?" Harry asked pulling out the top one to look at it more closely. It was a beautiful pale blue dress with lace lining the collar and sleeves and felt like silk against his fingers.
"These dress's once belonged to Lady Lilly, Harry, your mother," the girl explained. He looked at her in shock not having known that anything of his mothers still existed and felt tears sting his eyes at the thought of the woman he had never known. "After Lord James died some of the servants took them and hid them up here as we didn't want Lady Bellatrix and her daughters to have them. They are yours Harry and you can wear one of them when the prince comes on Sunday."
"Thank you Lavy. I'll wear one of these on Sunday and tell the prince Lilly is leaving the next day that way he will never have to find out the truth about me," He replied putting the dress back and hugging the girl as he tried to hold back the tears of despair that wanted to fill his eyes at the thought of never seeing Draco again. "It'll be for the best that way. He can't ever know who I really am."
He said it more to himself than her and so didn't notice the look of regret and sadness on the young woman's face. If only fate hadn't been so cruel to him than Harry could have been friends with the prince and wouldn't have to hide from him. He should have been the lord of this manor but there was no chance of that with everyone believing Harry Potter had died as a child. But at least this way he could have a little happiness for a short while anyway.
Harry put the dress back in the chest and Lavender locked it again giving the key to him, that he put in the pocket of the clothes she had dressed him in. It would be better to leave the chest with the dresses there where it had gone unnoticed by the ladies of the house for so long. Harry wouldn't allow his mother's dresses to be taken from him, they were all he had of the woman he had never known, and he was grateful to the servants for keeping them safe for him.
XeXeXeXeXeXeXeXeXe
Draco could hardly contain his excitement at seeing Lilly again. She was all he had been able to think about since he had met her only days ago. Her long, silky black hair and beautiful emerald green eyes. The way she smiled shyly and seemed so unsure of herself yet so filled with a confidence and passion he had never seen in anyone before. He longed to touch her again and get the kiss he had been denied at their first meeting.
Ron and Cedric and Blaise and teased him relentlessly for the last few days after hearing about what had happened between the two of them in the garden. They were greatly amused by their friend who had never shown any interest in anyone before suddenly being deeply infatuated with this girl he had only spent a few hours with but were also happy for him as well. Draco, knowing it was just good natured teasing, took it in stride and eagerly made plans for their next meeting.
He could barely contain himself as he sat through breakfast with his friends and then climbed into the carriage that would take him to the home of Lilly's cousins. For a brief moment his excited thoughts were broken by ones of Pansy and Hermione but fortunately Lilly had told him they wouldn't be there and they quickly passed on. He couldn't remember a time when he had been so nervous or excited about anything and he was quite certain that he was quickly falling in love with the girl.
He had just come to this conclusion when the carriage pulled up to Potter manor stopping before the door. It didn't look all that different from the last he had been there at the age of three but it felt different to him. When he had been there as a child there had been a warmth to the place and a kind of joy radiating from it but now it seemed cold and almost oppressive in away. A chill went down his spine that he shook off as the coachman opened the carriage door and he stepped out.
Immediately the front door was opened at his approach by a young servant girl who blushed and lead him inside to the sitting room. She told him the lady would be down in just a few minutes and brought him some tea while he sat waiting for her. Draco sipped at it trying to calm his nerves and jumped to his feet when the door was opened again smiling at the sight of the young woman who was smiling shyly at him.
Lilly looked beautiful with her hair in a braid and laying against her back. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes sparkled though he could see the nervousness and something else in them that he couldn't place. She wore a pale blue dress with lace lining the collar and sleeves and blue slipper shoes decorated with different colored beads. She bit at her lower lip as she came into the room and gave him another awkward curtsey that he inclined his head to in response.
"It is good to see you again Lilly," Draco told her as he took her hand and kissed the back of it chuckling as her face flushed at the kiss. "I haven't been able to think of anything but you since the moment you left the Diggory's manor."
"I'm sure that's not true your highness you have much more important things to think about than me," Lilly replied her face darkening for a moment before she forced the smile to return to her face. "But it is good to see you again too."
"You are to call me Draco and nothing else Lilly I am not the prince when I am with you but just a man spending time with a beautiful woman," He said as lead her to a chair her cheeks coloring again as she gave a small, reluctant nod in agreement. "And I assure you it is true my friends wouldn't stop teasing me about it until the moment I left to see you again."
"Well I am flattered then you- I mean Draco that you would spend so much time thinking of me," She told him taking the remaining cup of tea for herself and sipping at it. He had to fight not to chuckle when her nose crinkled at the taste and she put her cup back down. "It is unfortunate that I must leave soon but I need to return to my home as you know."
"Yes so you said before but let's not talk about that now I would rather talk about other things," The blonde haired boy replied not wanting to think about her eventual departure back to where she had come from. He was still trying to find a way to enable her to stay with him and get her away from Riddle. "Tell me more about yourself and your life Lilly I want to know everything about you."
"There isn't much more to tell Draco really there is not much of interest about me," The girl said softly lowering her eyes away from him. Still he saw the expression of distress and sadness that appeared on her face. "And I am afraid you would be very disappointed with what you were to find about me."
"I highly doubt that Lilly you are beautiful and intelligent and it is obvious to me that you have not had an easy life," Draco told her taking her hand in his. They were not the soft, delicate hands of the women he was used to but more dry and calloused yet to him the feel of her skin against his was wonderful and he wanted never to let the hand go. "Losing your parents at such a young age must have been very hard for you, I can't imagine how I would feel if I lost mine and it is obvious to me that you have had to grow up far quicker than you should have."
"I. . . yes it was hard. I don't remember my mother at all as I was only a babe when she died but my father . . ." She trailed off for a moment her eyes growing distant and unfocused. It had been so long since Harry had thought of his father that the flood of memories that came back to him now was somewhat overwhelming and it took him a few moments to come back to himself. "He died when I was little but he was a good man. He was always willing to play with me no matter how busy he was and would read to me at night. He would take care of me when I was sick, sitting by my bed for hours at a time, and he always had a smile for me. I miss him terribly."
"I am sorry he died when you were so young," He replied squeezing her hand gently. The girl gave a small smile of gratitude and they were silent for a few minutes until he spoke again. "I lost someone when I was a little boy too. They weren't family or anything and I only met them once when they were a baby but they were special and I wish I had gotten to know them. I wonder if you ever had the chance to meet them, Harry Potter, Lord James's son?"
"I . . .," Lilly began startled. He saw her eyes widen and her face pale drastically at the boy's name and was somewhat disturbed by it wondering if he had upset her and how. "No he . . . He died soon after I was born. I . . . I never knew him. You did?"
"Yes when I was very young. I was here with my parents and the governing families for his birth," Draco explained cautiously not wanting to upset her further. When she only nodded to ask him to continue he went on with a little more confidence. "My mother let me hold him after I sat down on the couch and I stared into his eyes, a brilliant emerald green that I haven't seen since except for yours but they were a little bit different. I remember I told my mother I wanted to take him home with me so we could play together always but she convinced me to let him stay with his father," He chuckled almost bitterly at the memory. "It was the first and only time I saw him, touched him, but I have never forgotten that baby and I don't think I ever will. He was special you know?"
He waited for her response but when none came he looked up and was surprised to find her head was bowed and her shoulders were shaking. There were small sounds, almost like whimpers, coming from her as well and in alarm he jumped from his seat and knelt in front of her. He was surprised when he saw tears streaming down her face from eyes held tightly shut and brought his hand to her face to wipe them away upset by them.
"I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you Lilly," He told her not understanding why or how he had. Still it was apparent that his talk of the boy and his death had effected her deeply perhaps because it brought back memories of her father. "Please forgive me. I won't talk about him ever again. I would never do anything to upset you like this again. If you want me to I will even forget about him I promise."
"No, don't forget about him, somebody should remember him," She replied whipping the tears from her face as she mumbled something softly that sounded strangely to him like "Even if nobody else does." before he could ask about it though she straightened her shoulders and looked at him again. "I am sorry Draco I just haven't really thought about my father for a long time and it overwhelmed me for a little bit but I am all right now I assure you."
"It's all right if you need to cry you should I just don't ever want to be the cause of it unless it is happy tears of course," the boy said with a small smile that he was happy to see the girl returned even if only half-heartedly. "I only ever want to see you happy and have no desire to cause you pain Lilly. I have never met anyone else like you and I don't ever want to be without you. I want to make you happy and protect you and I want to . . ."
His voice trailed off as he stared into her eyes not even noticing the girls look of shock or how tense she had become as he spoke. His hand rubbed gently at her cheek as he leaned his face toward hers and closed his eyes at the feel of her lips on his. The girl gasped beneath them in surprise and only hesitantly returned the kiss. She was clumsy and uncertain and Draco could tell that she had never kissed anyone before but that made it all the better for him.
He wanted to be the only one to touch this delicate creature like this. To be her first with everything, every touch and kiss, and to keep anyone else from having her. He would do everything in his power to make sure that Riddle could never experience this with her. She would be his and no one else's that had already been decided though he couldn't be certain when he had come to such a decision.
The kiss didn't last long, only a few seconds, before she pulled away from him her face flushed in embarrassment. He could tell that she had enjoyed it as well though and grinned in delight at the almost glazed look of her eyes. It didn't last long though as her face grew pale again, the embarrassment leaving it, and her eyes grew shadowed and distressed. It almost seemed like she was on the verge of tears again and his grin vanished as she stood moving away from him.
"T . . . that shouldn't have happened Draco," Lilly told him looking flustered and upset. He frowned not understanding as he got to his feet quickly. "I . . . you need to leave now I'm sorry but I can't see you anymore. I . . . I will be leaving soon."
"Lilly please I didn't mean to upset you but don't tell me I can't see you anymore. Please Lilly," Draco replied. The woman made to protest but she was stopped as he wrapped his arms around her in a gentle hug desperate to keep the woman with him. "I will leave if you really want me to and never see you again but only if you tell me that is what you really want."
Lilly was silent for a long time and he could hear her sniffling softly against him as he held her. He couldn't believe how right it felt to have her in his arms and he never wanted to let her go. He prayed that she wouldn't tell him to leave, that it wasn't what she really wanted, and barely breathed as he waited for her answer. He was relived and delighted when she eventually shook her head without speaking seemingly unable to.
He had known that she really didn't want him to leave or not to see him again she had just been frightened by the kiss. She hadn't expected it and so had panicked slightly from it. He would go slower from now on and make sure she was comfortable at all times. He had no desire to frighten her like that again or to lose her because of doing so. She was already far to precious to him, even after so short a time, and he would do anything in his power to keep her with him.
The rest of the visit passed uneventfully and Draco left later after giving her a small kiss on the cheek and with a promise that she would meet him three days hence at the river where he would have a picnic waiting. As such it was a very happy and grinning Draco that climbed back into his carriage and left the Potter manor never seeing the despairing look on the girls face or how she held back her tears while she watched him leave.
Nor was he aware that after he left the girl rushed back into the house and tore off her dress, undid her hair and covered her face with soot and dirt, becoming once again the servant boy Harry nobody knew or cared for. He didn't see the way he went about his chores like he wasn't really there or how he was beaten when the ladies returned having not found what they were looking for at the market and blaming him for it. And he didn't see how the boy, hidden beneath the girl he loved and through no fault of his own loved him too, cried that night for what had happened and the lie he had begun and now couldn't stop.
A/N: I am so so sorry for how long it took me to write this chapter. I swear I have been working on this for over a month and it just wasn't going the way I wanted it to. Plus I got sick a couple of times and have been very busy with an online class I am being forced to take by my university that decided I didn't have enough units. I think they just wanted more money from me but anyway enough with my rant.
I hope you liked this chapter, it didn't go exactly the way I wanted it to, but at least I gave you a nice kiss been Draco and the disguised Harry. The next chapter will go faster and I hope to get to the ball if possible so wait for that and I promise to try to get it out sooner if possible. And yes Draco is an idiot and despite the obvious hints still doesn't realize that Lilly is actually Harry but he will eventually one can only hope anyway.
By the way for those wondering the title for this chapter came from a poem by The Bard William Shakespeare who I love. The full line is "Oh what tangled webs we weave when first we practice to deceive" and I thought it appropriate considering how Harry is unwillingly deceiving Draco into believing he is a woman and now can't get out of his lie even though he didn't begin it in the first place.
