Disclaimer: The Show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.

Reunion

Chapter 4 – I remember you.

Tori's POV

Ignoring the part of me which wanted me to get in my Porsche and drive away very fast, I slowly entered the room. The room looked exactly as it did before. Full of people having a good time. The dance floor was packed with people dancing to the song Katy Perry Song, Hot and Cold.

I moved closer and closer to our table looking for any sign of the green eyed demon that I loved more than life itself. I was about 25 yards away from our table when I spotted her.

She was standing by our table talking to cat. She seemed to be listening intently to something Cat was saying to her. She was wearing a beautiful black cocktail dress that flared out into a skirt and she looked more beautiful than I could ever imagined. Her hair was still black but a bit shorter than last time and had a single streak of green in her hair. She looked stunning.

I froze, completely unable to move. Paralyzed, I just starred at my former girlfriend. My brain quickly twisting itself into knots. She didn't notice me at first, but just kept talking to cat. About 30 seconds later she turned and noticed me.

I wasn't sure what was more shocking to her, me being there or that deer in the headlights look on my face. Our eyes locked. She looked just as shocked as I was.

Before I knew it I started to run. Right out the nearest doorway, which lead to a balcony overlong the ocean. Unless I wanted to land on the rocks 30 feet below, there was no escape.

I ran to the cast iron railing and grabbed on. Almost as my life depended on it. I was beginning to panic. I was happy she was here, I was terrified she was here. My mind was going every which way. I just starred out into the blackness of the Pacific ocean, wondering what would happen next.

As my heart began to beat even faster, I gripped the railing even harder. To the point where my knuckles began to turn white. I had begun to panic.

I visibly tensed up, as I suddenly heard Jade's voice from behind me. "Tori?"

Hearing that voice, I was hit by a thousand memories and emotions. Pain, longing, despair, anger all surged through me in an instant. I briefly thought of the good times, I thought of near the end, with argument after argument. That feeling of being alone, when I was in the same room as her. It was almost too much.

I was unable to move, but I answered. My voice shook as I spoke. "Jade."

"Can I please talk to you?" She said in a slow calm, but somewhat nervous sounding voice.

"Ok" I said, nodding.

"Can you face me please? I would like to see your face."

"I'm scared Jade, I'm actually kind of panicking right now." I blurted out, my voice shaking even more.

I heard her sigh. "Are you afraid of me?" I could detect a lot of sadness in her voice as she said it.

"Yes a bit but, I'm more afraid of the whole situation. I don't know what to do or say." I said as I began to tear up.

"Please don't be afraid of me." I could hear Jade plead. "How about I talk and you listen. You don't even have to look at me." She said sounding as if she took a step closer to me.

My paralysis was totally irrational, but was very real. I had built this moment up over the last year that when it finally came I couldn't move or think.

"Tori" She began to speak, now sounding like she was on the verge of tears. "I missed you Tori. I fucked up, bigtime. I know you did some things too, but I feel responsible for our breakup. I had become an alcoholic and let it ruin our everything. It was worse than you even realize. I had begun to use cocaine on a regular basis in those last few weeks. I hid it from you. By the end I was a total mess."

I could tell she was crying now at this point.

"I was still grieving my fathers death. I had anxieties about getting married, I was depressed as you were gone a lot, a hundred other things. But then I committed the worst sin of all."

Jade paused for a moment as she sounded choked up. I just silently cried and continued to listen.

"I hit you. I was so angry at you that night. I can't ever forgive myself for that. I broke down crying the next day, when I found you had left me. I left one message but after getting drunk again I let my anger do the talking. For the next 6 months I just continued on a downward spiral. I drank and drank and developed drug habit. I even lost a job because I got into a fight a work. I raged at you for leaving me. I called you ever single name I could think of. One day I burnt every picture of you that I had." She sobbed.

Just hearing that last sentence; I could feel my heart rip in two.

"I was slowly drinking myself to death. One day about 6 months ago I hit rock bottom. I was in a dingy little apartment near skid row. I was working as waitress at a shitty little Thai restaurant. Of course you the big pop star, was all over the news and on tv. I couldn't escape you. I was going to put myself out of my misery. But something stopped me."

Her tale was ripping me apart, I thought I suffered but she did more.

"You did. You stopped me." She said.

I finally for some reason was able to let go of the railing and I slowly turned around.

She was standing 4 feet away from me. Long black streams of make up and mascara now was running down her face. She looked broken. As broken as I felt.

"I was looking for a particular pair of scissors to kill myself with when I found a picture of us. Somehow it was missed in my purge of all Tori related material. It was a picture taken of us at dinner, when we took that Alaskan cruise 3 years ago. You looked so beautiful and we looked so happy together. It was only then did I realize how much I missed and needed you. That I still loved you. I had no idea how or if it was even possible, but I wanted to win you back."

She paused for a moment then began to speak again. Still crying heavily.

"I got in to AA and got help with my drug addiction. It was hard getting clean and dried out. But I needed to. I felt like I was going to die going through withdraw some nights. I would stare at your picture just to get me through the night. But I managed it. I've been clean and sober for 5 months, 3 weeks and 2 days. I started to see a councilor for my anger and depression issues. I started to audition for parts again. I have a bit part in a cop show. I just started it. Tori, I don't know if you can forgive me. And I don't blame you for leaving me. But I still love you and I'm so…."

Jade put her hands over her eyes and put her head down as she seemed be overcome with emotion. After a moment she somewhat compose herself.

"so..sorry I hurt you." Jade wailed as if in pain. As if the mere thougth of her blow to my face, brough her immense pain.

Jade seemed unable to speak any further at that point. I was pretty much an emotional wreck as well.

She had come so far, and still was so broken. I couldn't stand seeing her like this. She was still the love of my life and always would be.

I stepped forward and took her hand. Though she said nothing, a look of hope appeared in her eyes. I collected my thoughts for a moment, before speaking.

"I know this wasn't easy for you. It wasn't easy for me to even come. Our breakup was very painful to me as well. Don't completely blame yourself. I have thought, examined and analyzed every fight, dispute and problem we had. I have a whole list of things I did wrong. Times where I made the wrong decision. I played a part in the demise or our relationship. I'm so happy that you've been able to straighten yourself out. That wasn't you that night, that you hit me."

Jade looked down. "I hadn't been myself in some time."

"Don't forget I didn't help things. I made a list off all the instances I could have done things differently. Part of my obsessing over our breakup." I said.

"How many things are on the list?" Jade said as she looked back up.

"At last count, 109. I've been kind of obsessing about finding out everything I did wrong."

Jade's eyes suddenly opened with surprise. "That many? Like what?"

"Flirting with that girl Brenda, at Cat's birthday party in front of you. That's number 1. Purposely not telling you about the scissoring marathon at the drive in theatre in Brentwood I heard about. That's number 45. Letting that drunken Russian supermodel lick my neck at the Grammy after party, that's number 11. "Accidentally" Shrinking your Linkin Park T shirt cause I was pissed off at you that's number 77. Blowing you off and not listening when you were upset last Christmas because of that fight with your mom, that's number 27" I said sheepishly.

"Russian supermodel?" Jade said with a jealous look in her eye. But she quickly corrected herself. "Nevermind, Can't dwell on the past." Jade muttered.

There was an uncomfortable moment of silence, broken by Jade.

"We're both sorry, but where do we go from here? How can you ever forgive me Tori?" Jade said looking sad again.

I took a deep breath and sighed. "Jade, I miss you, not a day has gone by where I haven't wanted to feel you, hear your voice. But we wrecked things good. I remember the fights, they were long and bitter some nights. I'm not sure if we can go back to the way things were, things between us are too damaged."

Jade closed her eyes and lowered her head, as a tear fell from her eye. "I understand." She said barely audibly as she turned to leave.

But, I continued to hold her hand without releasing it.

"That being said. I don't want to loose you again. I need you. So I was thinking. Do you want to go on a date with me sometime?" I asked, as a small smile came to my face.

Jade's face registered confusion. "What? I thought you said things between us are too damaged."

"Our old relationship Jade. I think it would be healthier if we started over from scratch and built a new one. Start by dating again first. Rebuild things slowly between us. I hope you don't think I'm being unfair. It might be a bit before we sleep together again. But, I think we need to take the time to fall back in love with each other."

Jade's eyes suddenly lit up. Lit up in a way I hadn't seen in a long time. "You're giving me a 2nd chance?"

"Just as long as you give me a 2nd chance." I said as I looked into her green eyes. Those eyes I wanted to get lost in forever.

Jade suddenly moved forward and pulled me into a hug, crying again. Being in her arms was heaven. Feeling her face buried in my shoulder, the smell of her hair as it brushed up against my cheek. Part of me wanted to rip her clothes off right then and there, but I suppressed that for the moment. I had to be serious about rebuilding this relationship.

After a few moments of happily crying onto my shoulder, Jade whimpered. "I'm sorry baby, thank you."

I said nothing and lost myself in Jade's embrace for a few moments more.

I separated from her a moment later. "Ready to start over?"

Jade nodded and then smiled. "I remember you, didn't I have you in Sikowitz's class? Oh yeah, your that annoying girl that always wanted to be my friend." Jade said playing into it.

"You're that scissor obsessed chick that dated that real attractive girl." I said with a smile. "What ever happened to her?"

Jade made a sad looking smile. "I stupidly drove her off but hope to win her heart back someday."

"Well in in the meantime, I happen to not have a date for the reunion. Would you like to be mine?" I said playfully.

Jade looked like she was going to cry again for a moment but smiled. "Very much so."

The healing has begun for the pair. I hope you like it so far. Please review.