Hey there readers!
I wanted to thank you for your patience while waiting for this update as well as your continued support of this story. My computer needs repair, and coupled with the fact that I have been working a unpaid internship so I can't pay for the repair, I have been slower than usual. I have commandeered my boyfriend's computer for updates, writing in notebook in the meantime. This chapter was supposed to be longer, but as I continued writing, I realized the end of this chapter as it stands seemed to be appropriate. So I have some stuff written originally as a continuation, so hopefully I will have another update coming soon.
Enjoy :)
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Elsa's first conscious thought when she woke was of the pounding pain in her head. She cracked an eye open, groggily raised her head, feeling stiff and like her joints were creaking as she sat up. Her head found support in her cradling hands. A groan found its way to her throat as tried to decide if sleeping so hard meant she was well-rested or if she could use a few more hours. Dreams of Luka aside-and not because they made the heat rise in her face-the rest of her dreams had been rather disturbing, which could explain her residual exhaustion. She was thankful that they turned out to be dreams and that she awoke in her bed.
In her sleep-hazed gaze, she soon realized the fuzzy edges wrapping around her wrist was the sleeve of her robe. Elsa blinked forcefully a few times, attempted to focus both of her eyes as well as her mind. Not only was she in her robe, not something she slept in or even remembered putting on before bed, but she was also sat atop her covers. Her eyebrows drew together briefly, considering that what she had thought-hoped-had been a dream had indeed been real. Attempting to ignore the pulsating pain behind her eyes, Elsa's feet found the ground and she pushed herself with some effort to stand, dragging her feet as she walked towards her window. Her lithe fingers found the heavy, detailed fabric of the drapes, drawing them back with quick sweeps of her arms. Instant regret sounded through her teeth as she hissed, the sun blazing through her window panes too much for her light-sensitive eyes. Elsa turned her back to the nearly mid-day sun, determined to pull herself together through her exhaustion and headache.
She groaned softly as she made her way into her bathing area, splashing water onto her face and burying her face into a fluffy towel. The brisk coolness of the water seemed to help her shake off her drowsiness for she swiftly disrobed, sending the fine fabric to the floor in her haste. Dressing in a simple royal blue pinafore dress with dove gray buttons over a matching short sleeved blouse and petticoat, she donned a pair of simple black modest heals with stockings. Critiquing her reflection in the mirror, she noticed that she looked a little pale-well-more pale than usual, from lack of sleep. Knowing it was late in the day, she skipped her normal make up and ignored the darkness roosting in the lower corners her eyes, settling with a few quick pinches to her cheeks to give her face some color.
Once dressed and hair secured in a spiraled braided bun, she stood in front of the heavy wooden doors of her room, conscious that she was hesitating, hand just hovering over the cool metal of the doorknob. Determined and without further ceremony, Elsa's fingers grasped the smooth knob, pulling both doors open wide. Before her, sitting on the ground, the little snow girl leaned against a hallway wall, dutifully quiet. The little white head raised at the sound of the doors opening, and her face lit up. The snow girl scrambled to stand quickly, trotting over to her creator. As she approached, she slowed, unsure if the Snow Queen was as happy to see her as the outward appearance of the regal woman betrayed neither happiness nor excitement. To Elsa's credit, she kept her expression soft as she realized that she had indeed been awake last night and that the nightmare she thought she had awoken from was continuing.
"Good morning, mother. I'm happy to see you. I missed you." Elsa's shoulder's relaxed at the small declaration from the small voice, unable to return the sentiment, but thinking her sense of panic and dread was overreaction. Olaf had been a mostly unconscious creation, brought to life under extreme emotional release. The difference being Olaf didn't have magic, was a positive memory from her childhood with her sister, and his origin in her mind clearly known. The one in front of her, however, was a mystery. What did this small being mean to her? What prompted her powers to act out in her sleep, to manifest in such a way? Answers to these questions she could only assume would find her eventually.
For the time being, Elsa still very much desired conference with Anna, so she took the snowy hand and led the way to the solar, knowing that was the most likely place to find her family as they tended to migrate there in the mornings, even though the sun was high enough to indicate midday was almost upon them. Elsa walked at a quick pace, and Jassa had to walk double time to keep at her side.
"So where're we going?" she asked, eyes all over the walls, the doors, and peering down any hallway they passed.
"Uh," Elsa faltered, thrown slightly that there was still this little live being trotting alongside her, "We are going to the solar to look for Anna."
"Oh, good. I'd like to see Aunt Anna again," she grinned, hopping on her toes, containing her urge to run ahead. She wouldn't even know which way to go. Elsa glanced in her direction and couldn't help cracking a smile at the energy and excitement coming from the little snow girl. The little things attitude and emotions were infectious and Elsa felt herself mirroring them sans resistance.
"Well, let's hope we find her there, then," Elsa offered. And they did find Anna there, along with Kristoff and their two children. Eva spotted them first with her sharp hazel eyes and she was up in a flash, her unbound buttery blond hair bouncing in waves behind her. In true spirit of her mother, Eva did not show one iota of bashfulness as she examined the snow girl closely, cooing, "Oh, she's so pretty." Jassa watcher her closely, her violet eyes almost wary and Elsa found herself tensing as she did. In but a moment, Eva's eyes popped back up to the snow girl's face. Her niece stood with her feet far apart, confident smile on her face lent itself to her eyes.
"What's your name?" The young snow girl looked lost and turned unsure eyes to Elsa. Elsa looked down at her, snowy form shining in the ample light in the room and her answer was near immediate.
"Jassa." A patch of snow in the summer sun.
Across the room, not missed by the Queen, Kristoff pulled a face at the use of a Sami word for the name of the snow girl. Elsa felt the prickling of frustration crawling up her chest and into her throat. The Sami people and their cultures were being threatened by much of the Nordic people, but Queen Elsa refused to bend at the pressure of Arendelle's neighbors. Elsa had been trying in earnest to secure support for the Sami people, as well as safe havens within her borders. Was her knowledge of their language and use of the word not a show of solidarity? And she still didn't understand the defensive nature he held at the mere mention of the native peoples.
'He was all but left abandoned as a child,' she thought and gritted her teeth as her brother-in-law called her over. "Do you mind coming over here for a second? They'll be just fine," he said in reference to the children who were exchanging niceties and curious questions. 'Even if orphaned, how can he be so connected to a people who all but allowed him to be kidnapped by those trolls,' she continued within her mind. Those boulders never sat right with her. Elsa didn't like feeling ungrateful for Grandpabi saving her sister, but she felt like he could have been a bit more clear in their guidance offered to her parents. Maybe then she wouldn't have been feared by them, wouldn't have feared herself. Anna had seen the knot between her eyes and placed a soothing hand on her arm as she finally reached them. Elsa looked up and saw that Kristoff had turned his eyes to the ceiling, most likely a result of a silent scolding from his wife. 'Play nice,' Anna's look said as she leveled him with a soft, endearing smile. He seemed to relax almost immediately and his posture rakish as he took a second attempt in a conversation with Elsa.
"So, some blizzard you got going in the ballroom," was his opening line and Elsa faltered at the memory of what she had discovered.
Not passing along the knowledge of who turned the room into a frozen flurry-'Not that they want to listen, anyway,' she thought with a pang of bitterness-Elsa gave a nod with a somewhat detached air. Anna either didn't notice the coolness between her sister and her husband or she didn't let it effect her. Her tone was sunny and bright, so much so, that last night's brush off started to fade away from Elsa's mind.
"We actually haven't been able to eat breakfast yet. Cook isn't even able to get in. We have all tried," Anna informed her rather rationally for a pregnant woman prone to hunger binges. Elsa gave her a firm nod, "I'll go take care of it. Jassa," she called over to the child who was mesmerizing her "cousins" with gracefully bouncing snowflakes. Jassa immediately bounded over to where Elsa was beckoning, leaving the few snow flakes she had created shimmering and unmelting in the sunlight.
As the two sorceresses exited the solar together, Elsa posed a crucial question to Jassa. "Do you know how to properly control your magic?" Her answer was pensive silence as Jassa placed a hand to her chin and, finally, shrugged. Deciding to elaborate on her question, the Snow Queen broke down her queery into manageable pieces.
"You seem to not have any difficulty creating snow, right?" The question seemed almost superfluous as Elsa was certain now that she hadn't created the snowstorm in the ballroom while sleeping, but that in fact Jassa had done so. The little snow princess shook her head and readied her palm for demonstration.
Before Jassa could even begin to pool iciness into her hand, Elsa gently pressed her palm over hers, quelling the magic before it grew. Elsa showed no fear or urgency, but instead asked, "Do you know how to deconstruct your snow and ice?" Jassa looked at her with confusion, the world unfamiliar to her. Elsa sighed through frustration and partially through relief. Relief because she had avoided using the word "destroy." Thoughts and connections to destruction and chaos had always accompanied her when it came to her powers following the fateful accident with Anna and the resulting trollish advice. Ever since the Frozen Summer, she held a exceedingly more positive view of her birthright, something she wanted to instill in her children, given they inherit the powers at all.
Frustration made her teaching moment and connection with her created taste bitter as she understood the difficulty she faced teaching a child about something so serious without planting a seed of doubt that had the potential to grow into strangling vines of fear. Elsa desired to more than anything promote acceptance while also urging caution and respect for a magic so strong.
"Okay, then. How about we don't make more snow or ice until we know how to do that, hm?" The request didn't seem to bother the small snow girl, didn't interrupt her almost skipping gate, and it certainly didn't seem to effect her in any negative fashion. In fact, she was quite agreeable.
"Okay, mother!"
Elsa and Jassa approached the top of the stairs and discovered the snow drifts to be unruly and slowly rising like dough left to rest. Now where to begin? Elsa decided to start with what she knew as they stood in front of the snow bank attempting to engulf the ballroom. "Let's start with the most important part, the key to controlling your powers: love." Immediately the girl's face split into a wide smile.
"I know what that is!" she exclaimed. "I know because I love you." Elsa winced inwardly, feeling a pang shoot straight through her heart and the heavy weight of the feeling she didn't reciprocate left to sit firmly in her chest. 'Hopefully, soon...' she thought, resisting the urge to wring her hands together.
"Okay, think only about that feeling and hold onto it. Once you have it let me know," Elsa instructed. Jassa cupped her little hands like a gentle bowl, as if she was holding something as fragile as a butterfly. Seeing the immense concentration on her creation's face, Elsa's voice came gently to Jassa's ear in further guidance. "Focus on a spot you want to make go away, and replace the snow with that feeling. Does that make sense?" Jassa's face had grown even more intense with concentration, but she was able to turn her eyes to Elsa's and nod.
Elsa almost missed it: the slight pull at the core of her being. It tugged at her heart, at her very essence, and for a moment she felt like she was going to be ill. While it had come on gradually, it left abruptly, and all that Elsa focused on was the snow girl's hand stretched toward the drift and slowly the individual flakes began to rise into the air. Emerging as singlets, then small floating streams, and finally what appeared to be whole layers of snow lifted into the air, disappearing with a small, fairy-like tinkling. Elsa smiled, forgetting her spell of nausea with a sense of triumph.
"Very good!" Elsa encouraged, feeling the excitement and happiness at the accomplishment that had taken her fifteen years to ever achieve. "Let's try again."
After nearly a dozen of successful small area clearance, the queen encouraged Jassa to expand areas, and the snow princess began to make quick work of the ballroom. Drifts disappeared, icicles shrank, and within an hour, the winter landscape transformed back into the grand room of smooth marble. From across this room, Gerda's voice echoed in hailing tone.
Elsa turned her attention away from her creation, with a twinge of annoyance, knowing that their moments of connection and any insight into why she was created squelched for attention of others. But, such was to be expected. She was the Queen Consort, ruler of the entire country. It wasn't often that she had many moments to herself, and she had just invited other countries into the mix with this suitor business. At the thought, Elsa felt her headache returning, the pressure behind her eyes grew and she mentally grumbled, 'I need to eat something.' The sapphire-eyed woman pushed passed the feeling at the look of worried look she was receiving.
"We have just gotten urgent word regarding the Sami village at the border of Arendelle and Fjordern." Elsa's gaze sharpened.
"What happened?"
"According to the messenger, Fjordern is preparing to start-and may have already begun at this point-an assimilation process." Lead felt like it had been dropped into Elsa's stomach.
"Ready my horse," she instructed, but then quickly remembered the small presence as Jassa tugged at the smooth volume of her skirt. She thought better of her previous request. "Actually, please ready my horse and the carriage. Await further instructions."
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When Anna next saw her elder sister, Elsa was walking briskly into the gardens, where she and her children had gathered to enjoy the fresh air. Elsa sent Jassa towards the children while the grass made damp rustling as if folded beneath her hurried steps.
Elsa stood before Anna, who hadn't bothered to stir, finally having found a comfortable spot. Anna made a show to get up, but Elsa silently communicated foregoing the manners of polite conversation for the sake of the expectant woman before her by placing her palm face down ahead of her. Anna shot her a graceful look as she lounged back in the shade, thankful that the bark of the tree she maintained as her back rest was smooth and forgiving.
Before Elsa could speak, Anna pleasantly observed, "That took longer than usual." Not having time for relaxed chit chat with her sister, Elsa patiently explained as concisely as possible.
"Jassa needed instruction on how to clear her snow." Anna's eyebrows drew together as she sat up straight, looking at Elsa apprehensively as if she hadn't heard her correctly, or rather afraid that she had.
"Wait. Jassa-" She cut herself off, watching with trepidation as her children chased each other with this...thing. Elsa's patience grew thin as she watched her sister's turquoise orbs swirl with emotion as this piece of information turned over in her brain. Her face began to take on the expression of a frightened doe as it finally registered with her. Her gaze and voice were far away as she muttered, "She has powers?"
Well-practiced poise remained in control of Elsa's graceful figure as she fought the urge to roll her eyes at the irony and cross her arms in irritation. This had been exactly what she had tried to tell her sister the night previous, and now the desired attention to her concerns presented itself when she did not hold the luxury of time for discussion.
And she made sure to tell her sister so, "Yes, but I can't discuss that right now. I have some urgent business to which I need to attend. The Sami village at our borders has come under attack. Time is not on our side, I need to ask you to please watch Jassa for me."
Before Anna could even consider an answer, cries of distress rang from the trio of children. Anna was on her feet in an instant, moving to them with Elsa at her side. Both Jassa and Eva were on their rumps on the grass with Anders standing protectively in front of his sister. Eva was already wailing with large tears rolling down her round cheeks. Anna swept in to cradle her child, crooning comforting sound as she bent over her. Elsa knelt in front of Jassa, whose face was crumpled, ready to cry at any moment.
"What happened?" Elsa asked softly, smoothing her hand over the fine, icy tendrils of Jassa's hair. Jassa's fists began to rise to her eyes as her little voice hitched, a cry sticking in her throat.
"Anders pushed me!" she wailed.
Immediately, Anders retorted defensively, "She pushed Eva first!"
Elsa glanced over her shoulder to Anna who, with Eva still sobbing over her shoulder, shared a look with the Ice Queen that demanded explanation. Elsa turned to Jassa and asked quietly, "Is that true?"
"It is!" Anders insisted behind her back, only to get a sharp 'hush' from his mother. Elsa waited until, glumly, Jassa nodded. Concerned, Elsa pressed, "Why would you push someone, Jassa? That is not nice." Elsa's face crumpled.
"Because they said I wasn't real!" Jassa cried, distraught. Elsa blanched, almost not believing her niece and nephew would assert such a thing.
"Well, she's not! And she's not a princess, neither!" Anders shouted, his temper he inherited from his mother on display and righteous anger turning his face ruddy.
"Anders!" His mother barked in reprimand. Knowing he had gone too far, his mouth clamped shut, and he trudged over to his mother, eyes downcast. Displeasure was clearly written on her face as she regarded her son. "You, young man, will be spending the rest of the day in your room until I say otherwise. Gerda!" The woman to whom she called came from her place at the garden entrance where she had been waiting for more information from Elsa, and Anna deposited her hiccoughing daughter into her arms with similar instructions of confinement to her room.
In the meantime, Elsa had calmed down her snow child and stood hand in hand with her, eyes expectantly trained on her auburn-haired sister. When Anna raised her eyebrows and let out an irritable, "What?" Elsa felt her eyes narrow oh so slightly.
"I need an answer, Anna. Will you please watch Jassa?" Anna hesitated and gave sidelong glance. Finally, urgency shattered the last of Elsa's patience.
"Why won't you just give me an answer? What is it that could possibly call for such a pause when considering the simple request of watching a child?" Temper flaring to push against her sister's, Anna let her maternal instincts voice her concerns. "I didn't know she had powers, Elsa. How can I know she can control it? Can you assure me, guarantee me she won't lose whatever control she might have, and she won't hurt my kids?" Without hesitation, Elsa replied firmly.
"She would not hurt them."
"It may have escaped your notice, but she just tried to, " Anna indicated scathingly. Elsa took her sister's words through half-lidded eyes, as if regarding a disrespectful child.
"It may have escaped yours, but she is a child. On top of that, she was obviously provoked." Anna sputtered and rudely knifed a hand toward Jassa.
"A child?" her voice rose, incredulous. "She's a snowman, an enchanted snowman." Anna paused between words, emphasizing each pointedly. Elsa began to sweep Jassa behind her protectively.
"She is right in front of you. I never knew you to voice such cruel thoughts, and aloud, and to a child no less!" Anna let the child comment roll by. The younger of the two women raised her nose and crossed her arms haughtily.
"Well, I wasn't raised to lie, and I certainly haven't raised my child with to, either."
"Ah, yes, well you certainly also haven't raised them to be leaders of the kingdom if you invite such cold-hearted thoughts."
Anna balked. "You would take away their birthright over something they did as children?" Anna all but shrieked, near hysterics. Elsa, exasperated, deflated and rubbed her eyes as the incessant pounding behind her them beat like a drum.
"No," she sighed, feeling emotionally exhausted, "You know that's not what I meant. I mean to say that they aren't proper role models to be so callous. And Anna, can't you realize that's what you're doing?" Anna scoffed, dismissing Elsa's words with a sharp turn of her head, her eyes rolling upwards. Elsa watcher her childish display, and realized they may have been raised by the same parents and taught by the same tutors, but all the energy given to teaching grace under pressure and emotional control seemed to have been bequeathed unto only herself in attempt to control her powers. And for a moment, Elsa pitied her Anna. Had she been neglected in the wake of her frost?
"She has no birthright," Anna spat, misinterpreting Elsa's words in her ire. "And she could really hurt my kids, even if by accident, or have you forgotten all the times you have hurt me?" Anna knew she had hit a tender nerve at the struck look that crossed Elsa's face. Fleetingly, Anna felt guilty as Elsa looked as if she might cry, but it quickly dissipated as Elsa leveled her with a gaze of raw fury. Her anger remained and was coupled by the intimidation at the fierceness behind her eyes. When the queen spoke, her voice was dangerously low.
"They could have hurt her, too. I worry for her as you do for them."
"It's not the same," Anna grumbled, trying to keep control of her voice and not further expose her own temper. It was Elsa's voice that rose this time in frustration.
"How?" she cried. "How is it not the same? I care about her. I made her. She came from me as Anders and Eva came from you. How is she so different? Why can't I-"
"Because she is not your child!" Anna roared.
Elsa's mouth closed with a click of her teeth, and she stared her sister down, hurt and angry, but Anna refused to back down, refused to apologize for any words said. So Elsa whirled, taking Jassa by the hand, and left the garden at a clipped pace,
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Thank you again, lovelies! Hope you're enjoying it so far.
