Everything Wrong With: Ace Attorney: Trials and Tribulations

Episode Four: Turnabout Beginnings

(Opening) "I get Phoenix is watching old trial footage, but why does the kidnapping confrontation look this way? Who filmed this thing, and how did they get the angle they did? If they were standing behind Fawles like this, why didn't they attack him behind to- I'm over thinking this when I could just as easily sin." *ding

"Opening narration." *ding

"Captions say case happened six years ago... From February 2019. That puts the trial in 2013, but that can't be true, because we were told Turnabout Memories occurred in April 2013 and the trials were a year apart. Unless the 'five years ago' caption was also referring to five years before 2019, even though we didn't know any cases are taking place in 2019, not 2018, until the third case. So... which case happened when? Who should we believe? See what happens when all of your times are relative to each other? I'm so confused!" *ding

(Terry Fawles) "If Fawles is as stupid as the game wants me to believe, how did he escape from prison? Game mentions something about a wagon, but there are barbed wire marks on his face. Did he run headfirst into the fence until it broke on him? That would explain the facial markings, but not much else." *ding

"Repeated dialogue." *ding

(Diego Armando shows up) "Armando insinuates that Grossberg drinks himself to sleep every night. How does he know this, and why?" *ding

"Mia acts like she barely knows Diego here, and he 'dies' six months after this case (eight months before April (I guess) 2014, AKA Turnabout Memories), so their close, personal, dating relationship lasted six months at maximum. I'll get into this more in the finale later, but when's the last time you felt like changing your career path and dedicating your newfound life to targeting her protege and concocting elaborate 'savior' plans with her various relatives over a woman you knew for six months? Never, you say?" *ding

"Edgeworth's suit. It looks like someone took Manfred Von Karma's design, palette swapped it, and placed Edgeworth's head on top." *ding

"Also, Edgeworth in demon mode. This is the only appearance of Edgeworth I won't be removing sins for." *ding

"Also also, anyone who played the first game before coming here knows giving us Edgeworth in this case completely spoils how the case will end. In Turnabout Sisters, we're told Edgeworth never lost a case before meeting Phoenix, so from the second we see him on, we know for a fact that Mia won't win, utterly removing a good eighty percent of all the fucks there are to give about playing this case. The rest are removed as soon as we see Dahlia Hawthorne. We know she doesn't go down until Turnabout Memories, so she has to get away with shit here. Before things ever get good, we already know how it's all gonna end. Not unlike the next game's flashback, now that I think about it." *three sins

"The only thing that has changed about Gumshoe over a six year period... is the color of his overcoat. I'm not sure how I feel about this." *ding

"One case after constantly giving his weenies to Maggey, Gumshoe is confirmed to have had the hots for Mia. Someone's got a type." *ding

"Why doesn't the judge's brother ever appear in another game? He's got a way better handle on cases than our normal judge without sacrificing the occasional comedy this series calls for. He can't have been removed for allowing a fake defense attorney (who's actually a prosecutor) defend in court, or else his brother would have been removed as well for allowing a loan shark to do the same. And what is the likelihood of having the same judge for every case after this game, anyway? As of AAI2, we know there are at least three working in the district. So what are the odds? Astronomical, you say?" *ding

"Mia thinks Edgeowrth has a cute face? I'm... not sure I wanna read that fanfiction. At least, not in this era of the series." *ding

"How did Fawles succeed in stealing a car from a couple at a stoplight? Did he throw them out of the car? Did he kill them? Why is automobile theft not one of the charges Mia is defending him against? And while we're on the subject, why not the charge of escaping from prison? Did he already plead guilty to those? This is never explained, nor does it make any sense." *ding

"Why does Dahlia Hawthorne only kill people when it's raining? That is an oddly specific MO, and she doesn't even have a water motif associated with her." *ding

"Broodle. Do Canadians actually say this? I don't know any Canadians who actually say this." *ding

("Blame it on him, Your Honor. He's the one trying to slip false evidence into the court.") "Armando incorrectly foreshadows the SL-9 case. While Edgeworth does use false evidence, it was Gant and Lana who were trying to slip it in, and not Edgeworth himself. If you're going to foreshadow, at least do so with a sense of accuracy, will you?" *ding

"The return of Dahlia Hawthorne." *five further sins

"Judge openly flirts with a teenage witness during trial, and no one finds this to be inappropriate." *ding

"If you press every statement, 'Melissa' fake-cries about being accused of eavesdropping... right after admitting to eavesdropping. A-plus consistency right there." *ding

"'Melissa' was using a camera with film... in 2013. And unlike Lotta's, it's just an everyday camera, not fancy at all. Either it's several years old, or she spent a long time trying to find it. Where would you even buy those by then?" *ding

(Edgeworth doesn't dispute that Dusky Bridge was broken at the time of the incident, just that Mia can't prove it) "Asshole." *ding

(Mia suggests there's another possible way to get a body across the Eagle River rather than carrying it) "Foreshadowing the finale." *ding

"Edgeworth doesn't like Mia's contradiction, so... he suggests she jump into Eagle River and die. He also insults her intellect and physical appearance several times over the course of the trial, from quaggy to bimbo. And Mia's the rude one in this case." *ding

(After 'Melissa' is accused) "Fainting in court cliche." *ding

"Terry Fawles was 'boyfriend' for fourteen year old Dahlia Hawthorne. I don't care how evil Dahlia is. That's still creepy as fuck. Stat rape, anyone?" *ding

"Also, according to Fawles, Valerie Hawthorne was a new detective five years ago. How did she go from new detective to Sargent in only five years? Did she take the Lana Skye way of promotions somehow?" *ding

"For the third time this game, the clue that ultimately makes the killer look suspicious is the fact they knew a minor detail about evidence discussed before they entered court. Between this game and the first case of the next one, I can almost declare it a cliche for this series." *ding

("Ms. Fey must be desperate if she's trying to bring the dead back to life.") "No, she actually hasn't tried to channel anyone in this trial yet, though I'm assuming she could. If anything, she's the one people call back from the dead when they're desperate. Not the other way around. That said, I know it's doubtful to be accepted as evidence, post-DL-6 and all, but what if Mia tried to channel Dahlia to prove she was still alive? She could try that, couldn't she? It wouldn't prove who Melissa really is, no, but- I wanna Mia channel somebody, goddammit!" *ding

"Edgeworth claims the Prosecutor's Office conducts background checks on all their witnesses... so what's up with Spirit of Justice and not knowing the witness even had a twin? I get it's fifteen years between the cases, but have standards really declined that much over the course of the series?" *ding

"Also, Edgeworth continues to insist Fawles had killed before the current case with Dahlia Hawthorne... despite knowing before the start of this trial that Dahlia is very much alive. If the Prosecutor's Office knew the supposed victim was alive after all, wouldn't Fawles previous sentence be dropped to at least attempted murder? We know Edgeworth is an asshole at this point on the timeline, but really? Everyone in the Prosecutor's Office, too?" *ding

"Terry Fawles was a tutor? I'm... having my doubts. He can't even speak coherently." *ding

(Mia owning Edgeworth's ass in proving Fawles didn't push Dahlia off the bridge five years ago) "Some epic shit. Go Mia!" *removes a sin

"When surprised, the judge roars with the same sound effect used for a tiger in the previous game. Who knew he had such good animal impressions?" *ding

"Dahlia managed to expertly navigate a raging river that normally kills people at fourteen, fully clothed, and with a backpack on. She may be evil, but that's badass as fuck." *but it's Dahlia, so I still sin

(Fawles on the stand) "You know, for a photo set up by the real killer, Mia sure does get a lot of mileage out of this thing in trying to prove who really did it. Bad play on Dahlia's part, huh?" *ding

(The suicide) "...I can't think of any sins for this. This scene is... sad as fuck and depresses me every time I reach it."

"That said... ending narration." *ding

(Mia monologues about the game's first case) "Recapping shit we already know." *ding

"And... foreshadowing the finale. The holy trinity of sins, and they all come out of the same ending monologue. Way to go, Mia. Way to go." *ding

Total Sin Tally: 44

Sentence: Dropped in Eagle River


A/N's: I finished this faster than I thought I would. For some reason, I didn't remember this case being as short as it is. Assuming you press every statement of every testimony, it barely takes you more than two hours to finish. Maybe it's because Bridge is so long that I didn't remember much about this one in terms of length.

But aside from elaborating on Godot's past and showing how he and Mia met, this case didn't really do anything. Before now, we already knew Dahlia was evil as fuck, we already knew Edgeworth was an asshole before he met Phoenix, Valerie's character is pretty inconsequential if you think about the overarching plot of the game, we already (briefly) met the judge's brother in a previous case... I guess we were also introduced to the location of Dusky Bridge? That doesn't seem very vital, in the grand scheme of things. The finale does fine introducing it as well.

But with this case out of the way, I can finally move on to the case I came here to sin: Bridge to the Turnabout. Fair warning: I plan to take no prisoners when it comes to that review. Sorry (not sorry) if you idolize it. It's my least favorite of the trilogy finales. Let's leave it at that for now.

Thanks for reading, don't forget to leave a review, and I'll see you on the far side!