He hadn't been back since and the withdrawal had been way worse this time around as she thinks she now knew what it could feel like to be loved by him.

She thinks she wants it, maybe even needs it.

Her heart had been regularly having palpitations. She had been considering the possibility that there was something seriously wrong with it. She'd even considered getting Petrenko to give her the once over. She'd finally dismissed that idea when a pattern emerged. She was only having them when he was within her vicinity or when she was alone and had allowed her thoughts to drift to him.

By the end of the week she was practically frantic. Her body was physically aching for him, almost painfully. She knew it was selfish but she wanted to draw him back in. Didn't want to accept that this was the end. She'd been expecting and anticipating an explosion, in keeping with anger they'd both been burying, not an anti-climax totally lacking even a minor pop, bang or fizz.

She had found him standing at the nurses station. The ward was dark, the night shift already underway.

"My office." She'd told him firmly.

As soon as they had gotten inside she had shoved him back roughly against the door and kissed him hard before quickly dropping to her knees undoing his belt. If this was the end then she wanted to give him something to remember her by. He didn't try to stop her.

He hadn't touched her at all but she had felt a smug satisfaction wash over her anyway. When she was finished, she'd left him in her office stunned, his trousers still undone.

They'd never kissed or touched at work and she knew she just crossed one of those invisible lines, broken one of the rules. She didn't care. She thinks she might like to break some more. Maybe it wasn't quite over after all. She'd wondered if she could show him how she felt without uttering a single word.

A few days later she had overheard him tell Petrenko he'd packed the kids off to their grandparents for a night. He had plans with a Chinese takeaway and beer.

She'd gotten there early, watched from the car as his takeaway arrived. She'd got out then walked to his front door and rang the bell. He opened the door. His mouth had hung open and she'd just shrugged at him. She was almost brimming with confidence after their latest encounter and she'd known he wouldn't be able turn her away. She'd crossed the threshold quickly, pressed almost her entire body into him, kissed his still parted lips, all the while ensuring her eyes had stayed locked on to his, almost studying his reaction. She'd pulled back a bit, trailed her fingers down his arm from his bicep to his wrist.

"Living room?" She'd asked him.

He'd pointed to a doorway just a few feet away.

As she walked in she'd spotted the Chinese takeaway on the coffee table and his beer on coaster next to it. She'd picked up a spring roll and his beer before turning around and dropping heavily on to the sofa. She'd just taken a bite of the spring roll when he walked into the room after her. He'd obviously given himself a few seconds to get over the shock. His eyebrows were practically through the roof when he'd spotted her, but an amused expression had appeared on his face just a few seconds later. He sat down next to her, close, but far enough away to give himself some distance.

He hadn't seemed able to fully comprehend that she was there, in his living room, eating his spring rolls and drinking his beer. He'd been glancing at her repeatedly, couldn't keep his eyes on the football match that was playing on his TV. He'd taken the beer out of her hand and had taken a mouthful before handing it back to her.

A little while later she'd kicked off her shoes and curled her legs underneath herself. She'd moved in closer to him to rest her head on his shoulder. She'd felt him physically freeze at the action. She'd tilted her head quickly up to him then and offered him her lips. He kissed her gently almost reflexively. She was trying to calm the anxiety she'd felt through his body. She wasn't here for sex, didn't want to start something she had no intention of finishing but she couldn't resist kissing him a few more times. She'd stopped as soon as she'd felt him relax a bit.

"How's the pain?" He asks her almost guiltily. She knows he'd been avoiding asking her.

"Mm a bit better." She answers him and she's not just referring to the neuropathic pain that runs from the nerves in her back down her leg.

She thinks she might be able to keep doing this after all.