The Face of Loneliness

Chapter 4: Leap to heal

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha in any way. All assets belong to Rumiko Takahashi.

Kagome woke up to her alarm and sat up to hit her snooze button. She stood to stretch and make her bed. As she turned, the red journal caught her eye. Kagome walked over to it and picked it up off the floor. She sat at her desk and began to read his response. She didn't realize how much her face alone affected him. She suddenly remembered her encounter with Kikyo the night before. She wondered where she was now, and what she was doing on that side of town to begin with. Demons despised priestesses or anything holy.

She closed the journal and got ready for school. She arrived to school and met up with Hojo. "Good morning." She said and planted a kiss on his mouth. He received it gladly and grabbed her up in a loving embrace.

"How'd you sleep?"

"Alright. What'd you do yesterday? You didn't text me all day." She said with a pout.

"Sorry. My parents had a busy day at the pharmacy and I had to help. What'd you do yesterday?"

"I went to this book store on the other side of town to buy a gift for Inuyasha." She waited for his reaction. Hojo just looked at her with a strange expression on his face. Not of anger, but like she had grown another head.

"Was it his birthday or anything?"

"No, I just wanted him to feel like he mattered. I want him to open up to me."

"Why does it matter? He chose to not speak to you."

Kagome sighed. "He only chooses to not speak to other people because we all view people like him as if they're monsters, a product of an accident. If you talk to him, he's normal like you and I. You should meet him, and maybe you'll think otherwise." She said with a smile.

Hojo looked at her waiting for her to say she was kidding, but his girlfriend was very serious about the matter. "I don't know Kagome. I've never been around demons at all."

Kagome took his hand into hers and looked into his eyes. "Hojo, I promise you won't even notice he's a demon. I won't rush you to meet him, but when you're ready let me know. It would mean a lot to me."

Hojo smiled and kissed her forehead. "That's why I love you. You and your big heart."

The bell rang, and they retreated to their classes. Kagome sat down and pulled her books out ready for class. She glanced up and noticed a girl walk by and sit next to her. She had never seen her before and assumed she was new to school.

The girl glanced at her and gave her a shy smile. She was beautiful, with long dark brown hair reaching her lower back. "Hello, are you new here?" Kagome asked.

"Uh, yeah."

"My name's Kagome Higurashi." She said extending her hand out to her.

She took it with a smile. "Sango Taijiya. Nice to meet you Kagome."

"Demon hunter. Your last name translates to demon hunter."

"Yeah, my family are descendants of demon slayers in the feudal era. We own a small museum of sorts in Osaka. It showcases weapons our family used in that era."

"Wow, sounds cool. So, you don't like demons? I know it's illegal to kill them now." Kagome was intrigued by her.

"My family doesn't have anything against demons. Our ancestors were hired by village heads and people of royalty to exterminate evil demons terrorizing their villages. I actually have demons as friends."

Kagome smiled. "Wow. That sounds really interesting. Are your demon friends in Osaka as well?"

"Yeah. The segregation isn't as bad in Osaka. Demon who don't want to be looked down on for befriending humans live there most often."

Sango's information was very interesting and brought so many ideas to Kagome. Maybe Inuyasha could go there when he became an adult. Maybe they wouldn't judge him for being half demon.

Class began and Sango and Kagome were not allowed to talk, but Kagome invited her to lunch with her friends. Sango fit in well and got along with everyone. Although she did have a more mature way of thinking than her friends.

School ended and Kagome invited Sango out to eat at her favorite place, Wacdonalds. They arrived and took a seat after ordering their food. "So, what did you move to Tokyo for?" Kagome asked.

"We aren't really planning on staying here. My home in Osaka is going under construction for an expansion and my father owns a house here in Tokyo. We are only living here until repairs are completed."

The server brought them a platter with both their orders and placed it on the table. Kagome grabbed her food and munched on a french-fry. "These things are so delicious!" She said between chews.

Sango giggled and took a bite out a french-fry herself. They talked more in getting to know each other and by the end of their lunch outing, Kagome found a good friend in her. They exchanged numbers and took their separate ways to each of their homes.

Kagome got home and kicked her shoes off. She greeted her family who sat in the living room watching TV and made her way to her room. She glanced over at the journal and wondered what Inuyasha was doing. She changed into a pink pullover sweater and a navy skirt and walked out into the hallway to his room. She knocked, but no one answered.

"Inuyasha is outside." She turned to see Sota standing at the top of the stairs.

"What's he doing?"

"He's exercising in the gym."

"Thanks." Kagome walked past him, ruffling his hair as she passed.

She made her way outside and to the home gym that her mother had installed into the shrine for Inuyasha to have something to do in the house. She walked inside and saw him. He sat at the end of the room bench pressing what looked like hundreds of pounds of weights. She couldn't help but stare at his flexing muscles shine in the light from the sweat.

Inuyasha smelled her sweet scent as she sneaked into the room. He finished up his lift and placed the bar on its place. "What do you want?" He sat up and turned to her.

Kagome jumped up embarrassed that he caught her staring. A deep red blush formed on her face and she turned away from him. "Sorry, I didn't mean to stare."

Inuyasha shrugged. "What did you want?" He stood up and walked her way.

"I, just wanted to know what you were up to." She said shyly.

Inuyasha looked towards the gym equipment pointing out to her what he was obviously doing.

"I wanted to talk to you." Kagome said.

Inuyasha sat on a bench and looked at her waiting for her to continue.

"Yesterday, when I went for that red journal, I met someone." She began.

"And?"

"It was Kikyo." She let it out.

Inuyasha's ears perked up at the mention of her name and his eyes widened in disbelief. "What?"

"Yeah. I was waiting on a bus and she was sitting right next to me."

"How do you know it was her?" He asked.

"I asked her if she knew you."

"What did she say?" Inuyasha's heart began to beat faster and faster.

"She remembers you." She couldn't tell him what she said. It would break his heart.

"Is that all? She didn't say she wanted to see me? You didn't ask her to come?" Inuyasha stood, anger taking over.

Kagome looked at him with sorrow in her eyes. "Inuyasha, she.."

Inuyasha grabbed her by the arms and shook her. "What?"

Kagome was surprised at his actions. She couldn't get it out. "I wasn't able to. She walked away before I could tell her. She was in a hurry to get somewhere, I'm sorry."

Inuyasha pushed her back against the wall and landed a hard fist on the wall right next to her face. Kagome closed her eyes startled by his reaction to her lie.

"Damn you! You talk about wanting to help me, and making me feel better, but you couldn't let her know I was still here? Wanting for her to return!" He yelled in her face.

Kagome just turned her face and looked to the ground. She did tell her that he still loved her. That he wanted her back in his life. The truth was cruel. She didn't want him anymore.

"I'm sorry Inuyasha. Forgive me."

Inuyasha closed his eyes trying to regain his composure. He pushed himself away from her and turned around staring into the wall not sure of what to say. He just wanted to run out and look for her now knowing that she was close.

"Where did you see her?" He finally broke the silence.

"Uh, on the other side of town. Beyond the border to the demon's side of town. I can't say she's still there."

Inuyasha grabbed his shirt and walked out of the room and Kagome followed him out. "Inuyasha, I'll try to find her again and convince her to come."

"Doesn't matter. I'm going."

"What? You can't go out there! There are some sick people out there who will kill you for the simple reason of being half demon." She caught up to him and grabbed him by the arm, pulling him back with all her strength.

"Let go Kagome. I'm going to find her." He pulled his arm from her grasp and kept walking.

"She doesn't want to see you Inuyasha!" She let out without thinking.

Inuyasha stopped walking and turned to look at Kagome. She was surely lying to him to stop him from going.

"You won't stop me."

"Go if you want. I won't try to stop you. I lied because I didn't want you to be hurt, but you're still gonna go out there and get hurt in another way so why keep it to myself? She told me to tell you to forget about her. She doesn't think about you anymore and she advices you do the same."

Inuyasha's ears dropped and he just looked at Kagome in shock at her words. As the new information processed in his mind, he began to realize it didn't sound so farfetched. Kikyo did leave with a bad impression of him, so it was only normal for her to have moved on.

"I see." He finally let out.

Kagome sighed. "Inuyasha, I'm sorry. I tried."

"Forget about it. I will." He said and began to walk into the house.

She wanted to follow him inside and comfort him, but the last thing he wanted to see was someone that looked like the very woman that broke his heart.

She walked in a few minutes after him, making sure he wouldn't be out of his room. She wanted to give him his space. She walked into her room and flopped on the bed. The light from her phone began to shine indicating a message.

Hey beautiful, what are you up to?

Hojo texted her. A smile formed on her face. She felt much better that her boyfriend took the time to text her.

Just lying in bed. I'm exhausted. I miss you.

She put her phone on her side bed table and dug her face into her pillow. The frustration she felt was horrible. She got up and walked over to her desk. Opening the journal she began to write.

Hey, I know you don't want to speak to anyone right now, but I need to speak to someone. I feel horrible for what happened and how things played out. I never expected to run into Kikyo and I hoped she would come to the shrine and see you. I hate the fact that people view you as such a different person. It's frustrating to know I can't get people to understand you. I want to understand you myself, but you won't let me in and I hope that you will. I can't take away the pain you endured as a child and I can't change the world by myself, but I can feel better in my heart, by making you move on. I'll do anything to help you move on. Not everyone is good at heart, most people are evil, but I want to help you Inuyasha. I want to take you forward in life.

She closed the journal and sat for a moment wondering whether she would slide it under his door or not. Maybe she would wait for a while until he cooled down. She got up and lay in bed and before she knew it, she was out like a light.

Inuyasha sat at his desk with his head buried in his palms. He couldn't believe what had just been heard from Kagome. Kikyo didn't want to see him again. She had moved on without him. He wasn't even a memory to her and that broke his heart in a million pieces. To be able to feel again, he knew he had to do what he's been avoiding this entire time. He had to forget about her, and throw everything that represented her.

He got up and reached for the box of memories under his bed. He sat on the bed and began to pull everything out that she had given him and all their pictures. Sticking them in a bag he grabbed up a box of matches and walked out of his room making his way downstairs.

"Inuyasha? Honey did you not want to eat dinner today?" Mrs. Higurashi peeked her head out of the kitchen as she saw him pass by.

"No thank you mother. I'm just gonna be outside for a bit." He said and walked outside into the darkness of the night.

The shrine grounds seemed quiet and relaxing. He walked to a spot and kneeled down. Dumping out the bag into a pile of memories, he pulled a match out of his pocket, and with a strike to the ground the match became the end of his pain with Kikyo. He threw it into the pile of memories and watched the fire destroy everything he held on to for so long.

Inuyasha sat staring at the ashes burn slowly and the fire fade. The wind began to blow and the now dead ashes flew into the night. He got up and made his way inside. The house was quiet as everyone had retreated to their rooms for bed. He walked up the stairs and walked to his room, when he turned and looked over to Kagome's closed door.

He didn't know why, but all he wanted to do now was go in there and see her. It could have been his recent devastation, but he made his way to her door and listened intently for any sign of her being awake. After confirming that she was indeed in bed, he slowly grabbed a hold of the door knob and turned it. Pushing it open, her scent hit him with a force and he took it all in. Her scent was so intoxicating, he couldn't admit that to her, but he was attracted to it more and more each time they were around each other.

His eyes adjusted to the darkness of her room and he caught sight of her as she lay on her bed sound asleep. He walked farther in and closed the door slowly behind him. Her room was so calming with her smell and her energy. He looked around getting familiar with her room, when he noticed the red journal on her desk. He walked over to it and picked it up, opening it to the last page that was written on.

He began to read her words and a realization came to him. Maybe she was the way for him to move on. He spent his time avoiding her and condemning her to being just as ignorant as everyone in society was, that he failed to realize this could change him. She wrote these words on her own and didn't bother to shove it under his door. She was trying hard and maybe all she needed was a chance. He sat down at her desk and pulled a pen out. Not really thinking he began to write the first things that came to his mind.

Kagome, I just wanted to say I'm sorry for being such a jackass towards you. I know you care and you mean well. Your mother is the most caring person I know and I know she taught you the only way she knows. I was just afraid to get close to you. I'll admit you make me nervous and unsure, but after today, all I want to do is move on with my life and try to make the best out of my situation. I'll try my best to move on, but I know with your help it's a sure thing to come.

He closed the journal up and put the pen back in its place. He turned on his seat and watched her sleep. She looked so peaceful and beautiful...realizing what he was doing, and thinking to himself, he turned away with a blush on his face and shook the thoughts from his mind. He got up making sure he left everything as it was and walked out of the room.

He went into his room and flopped on his bed. He still felt like a big part of his heart was ripped out, but he knew he had the will power to move on. All this time he's been alone, and he now had a second chance at being happy in his misery. The face of loneliness he learned to recognize in the mirror was now something he wanted to erase. The mirror would not be a reflection of his misery, but of his victory to move forward.

The week passed and it was friday. Kagome was glad the week was over and she could enjoy the weekend. She hadn't talked to Inuyasha since the day she told him about what had happened with Kikyo. She decided she was going to give him time to process everything and when the time came, she would be there for him. She hadn't touched the red journal either and tried to keep her distance as she knew she was a constant reminder of the woman.

"Do you want to go out tonight before I leave town for the weekend?" Hojo asked her.

"What do you want to do?"

"We could go out to dinner, or to a movie?"

"A movie sounds nice and simple." She said with a smile. It had been a while since she had spent any time with Hojo, but she knew he was understanding.

"Alright. I'm just gonna go home and run some errands and I'll pick you up around 7?"

"Sounds good."

Hojo smiled and gave her a good bye kiss before he took off on his bike to his house.

Kagome walked home and made her way up the stairs. She walked into her closet and began to search for an outfit to wear when she heard a knock on her door.

"Come in!." She called out to the visitor.

"Hello dear, how was school?" Mrs. Higurashi stepped into the closet with her.

"It was good, no homework over the weekend! How was work?"

"Same old same old. Are you going out today?" She asked.

"Yeah. I haven't been out with Hojo for a while and he's gonna be out of town this weekend with his parents, so we're going out to a movie." She pulled out a simple white sun dress and showed it to her mom waiting on a nod of approval.

Mrs. Higurashi smiled on it indicating it was a yes. She hung the dress on a hook over the door and pulled out some underwear and bra to get ready for a shower.

"What I really came to ask is how things were going with Inuyasha? He hasn't really been speaking much and I'm starting to worry."

Kagome stopped looking for a pair of shoes to go with her dress option and looked at her mom. "I met the girl he was in love with at his foster home and she refused to see him. In fact, she told me she never wanted to see him and advised that he forget about her. It broke his heart mom."

Mrs. Higurashi looked down with sadenned eyes and sighed. "Oh dear, my poor boy. Should I have a talk with him?"

"Maybe it'll make him feel better." Kagome agreed.

Mrs. Higurashi stepped out of Kagome's room and made her way to Inuyasha's door. He opened it pretty quick and smiled when he saw his mother. "Hey, what's up?"

"May I come in son?"

"Yeah." He said and stepped aside letting her inside.

She walked in and sat at the foot of his bed. "Are you doing okay sweetheart? You've been pretty quiet this week."

Inuyasha sat down next to her. "Yeah, I'm doing fine actually." He said with a soft smile on his face.

"I'm glad to hear." Mrs. Higurashi said with a bright smile.

"Mom, is Kagome okay? I haven't spoken to her in days. I think she's mad."

Mrs. Higurashi giggled. They both assumed they were mad and were not speaking to each other when truly everything was fine.

"Oh dear yes she is fine."

"Don't tell her I asked you." He said turning a blush on his face.

"Not a word." She said and got up and left.

Kagome showered and sat down at her vanity mirror to do her make up. She went with a subtle look, choosing a light pink eye shadow and pale rose lip gloss. She combed her hair up into a loose bun and slipped into her dress. With the outfit, she finally decided on a pair of black wedges. She slipped her essentials into a matching purse and was going for her phone when she heard her door knock again.

She turned for it, but Inuyasha was already halfway through the door. She stopped where she stood as he closed the door behind him.

"Hey." He said.

"Hey." She returned.

"Can we talk?"

He wanted to talk to her? "Y-yeah, come sit." She said as she motioned for her desk chair.

He walked over and sat down, chair facing her bed as Kagome took a seat across from him.

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry." He began.

"What for?"

"For the other day, and what I wrote on the journal. I assume you got creeped out by it. I wasn't thinking straight and.." He was cut off.

"I haven't touched that journal since that day. I thought you didn't want to speak to me, so I just gave you your space." Instantly, Kagome wondered what was written on the journal that she didn't know of.

"Ugh, this is so stupid." He got up and grabbed the journal, throwing it across the room to the floor. He walked over and pulled Kagome up to her feet.

"Look, I'm sorry for being a jackass and I know you mean well. I'm just afraid to go through this and all I ever knew was to keep my guard up, but I'm willing to move forward. I want you to be there, in my future. You're a good friend and I know you can help me. Please help me, Kagome." He let out.

Kagome stood in shock her eyes locked on his. He had confessed all this to her and was actually asking for her help. He was asking for her to be there with him.

"Inuyasha, that's the most I've heard from you ever."

"Well? Is that all you've got to say?" He said covering his nervousness with bluntness.

A wide smile crossed Kagome's face. She jumped up and flung her arms around him. "Of course I'll always be there for you silly."

Inuyasha looked down at her with surprise and took her hug in. He blushed, but it was okay cause she could not see him as they embraced each other in a loving hug. Her body against his was like two puzzle pieces fitting together. He could have her there forever.

They stood there taking in each other's being when the moment was broken by Kagome's phone ringing. Inuyasha pulled away from her and turned towards the door hiding his blush.

Kagome answered her phone and seemed to be speaking with her boyfriend, which strangely made Inuyasha upset. She hung up and looked up at Inuyasha with a smile.

"I'm glad we got that out of the way. You don't know how much it's been bothering me."

"Yeah." He said in a daze. He didn't know what he was feeling. Maybe the sweet scent she bore was getting to his head.

"I'm gonna go back to my room now." He said and walked out the door. He rushed to his room and let the door close. He needed to gather up his thoughts and process what had just happened.

Kagome shrugged off the odd departure of he foster brother and took her stuff before she walked out the door of her room. She walked downstair and said goodbye to her mother and grandpa before leaving for the door to her date with Hojo. She was so excited to see him, but all she wanted to do was get back and be with Inuyasha. Her new found friendship was something she wanted to explore. She hoped he felt the same way too. A bright smile on her face she walked onward to her boyfriend as she looked forward to better days.

A/N:Loooong chapter, but I had so much I wanted to write. It would've been longer but I just cut it off here. Spell checked to my best ability. More chapters to come and as always, reviews are welcome. Thanks for reading.