Part IV
"You just need to stop thinking about it and do it." Lula says to me as she helps me paint the upstairs hallway. I've gone on one more date with Mark and am currently wondering why I do not want to jump his bones. He's very attractive, sweet and his voice could melt chocolate, so I'm really not seeing the problem. Besides, my last encounter with Ranger left me in such a state that even my shower massager wasn't taking the edge off.
"I can't, I've told you. I don't want it to go too quickly. I might really like him." I tell her as I reach up with the roller.
She huffs loudly. "Girl, you are on the rebound. You're not supposed to 'really like him' when you're on the rebound. Everyone knows that."
I shake my head. "I broke up with Morelli ages ago. I'm not rebounding anymore."
"Not from him, from Batman. You were all kinds of hung up on Ranger." She pauses for a second. "You still kind of are. No way to get over a man better than to sleep with another one."
"Ranger and I were never together."
"Mmm hmm." She rolled her eyes. "From what I can tell that's precisely the problem. That man is hot for you but he's not ready to back it up. It's just too bad you're all in love with each other. If you weren't you'd have a pretty good relationship."
Well if that didn't just sum it all up. "I'm not in love with Ranger."
"You keep telling yourself that." She says without missing a beat. "You say it enough times and it'll come true."
We paint in silence for a while and when the second coat is up we finally relax. "Ugh, my arms are killing me."
"Your arms? You have skinny little arms to hold up, imagine holding up my big bountiful woman arms. You owe me some food. You have anything in your fridge?"
"What fridge? It hasn't been delivered yet."
"Damn. Well, we're going to have to look around for a McDonald's. Come on, white girl."
--
--
Today I'm talking Mary Alice and Angie horse back riding again. Valerie had to stay home with Lisa, so I picked the girls up, buckled them in and am now driving out to the stable while the girls singing along to the music.
"Can I ride Silver today, Aunt Stephanie?" Mary asks.
"Silver is too big!" Angie says, "The trainer says he hadn't been tamed right yet."
"But he's so pretty!" Mary exclaims. Silver is a relatively new addition to the stable. He's big, white and when we first saw him, he was a little wild.
"He's a menace!"
Mary sneers at her sister, "You only say that 'cause you're afraid of him!"
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"Am—,"
"Girls, no arguing. We'll ask the trainer about it when we get there. Angie, do you want to try to ride one of the big horses today?" She'd been riding ponies the entire time we've been going to the stable. I'm working on getting her over her fear, but it's been a slow process.
Angie shakes her head, "No, thanks."
It has been two weeks since my first date with Mark now. Since then we've been to the movies, to a carnival, and out to dinner a few times.
No sex yet.
I'm getting frustrated but really it's my fault. I'm the one putting a hold on everything.
When we get to the stable, Angie goes right for the ponies with Carla, one of the stable hands while Mary Alice and I check out the bigger horses. She's a bit disappointed that she won't be able to ride Silver today but she gets over it quickly and jumps in anticipation when Steve, the trainer, begins to saddle up two horses.
My phone rings and my heart jumps a bit at the ring tone. "Yes?"
"A couple of my men came down with the flu. I need some help." Ranger's tone softens, "Are you available?"
"When?"
"Well in about an hour—,"
"Can't today. At least not before 7." Mary Alice bounces in front of me grinning from ear to ear. "Hold on a sec," I say to Ranger. "What's up Mare?"
"They said I could pet him, but after he eats. Can we come pet him after our ride?"
"Sure thing. Go ask your sister if she wants to pet him, too." The words are barely out of my mouth before Mary sprints towards her sister. I grin and go back to my conversation. "Sorry. Where were we?"
"I'd like to go over it with you as soon as possible. Its for some security installations tomorrow. I'd need you to go to the houses with Hector. And I need your Burg input on some skips. The sooner the better. Can I come meet you?"
I pause for a second. "Can't I meet up with you when I get back to Trenton tonight?"
"It may be too late for one of them." He says. "Please, Stephanie?"
I guess there's so harm in having him come here, it's a public place. "Sure. I'm at the stables."
"There are stables in Trenton?"
"No, but there are stables in Pennsylvania right outside Trenton." I give him detailed directions and we hang up.
Half an hour later, I am riding alongside Mary Alice and Angie on a brown horse called Charlie. Angie is, of course, riding a pony and Mary is riding a brown and white horse called Cookie. I soon spot a black SUV parked in the lot in the distance. I scan around and sure enough, there is Ranger leaning against the stable door with his arms folded across his chest.
I turn us all around, much to Mary's dismay; though I assure her she can keep riding for another half hour with Steve or Carla while I talk to Ranger, so she calms right down.
"Hey," I say as soon as I'm close enough.
Ranger has the almost smile on his face. "Hey, Babe." He says. I begin dismount the horse and he starts to help me down.
I wave him off, "I've got it." I proceed to dismount on my own.
"Aunt Steph, I need to use the bathroom." Mary Alice says, already looking for a way to climb off the horse by herself.
I go over to her and help her down. "Do you want me to go with you?"
She shakes her head. "I've got it covered."
Angie decides to follow her and they leave me with Ranger.
"I never took you for the horse type." He says simply.
I shrug, "The girls like it." He has some papers with him and for a few minutes we go over the work for tomorrow and the skip bios. "Jerry Heller is a crook. He once paid a girl five dollars in middle school to show him her underwear, but instead he taped her and showed it to the whole school. He's still living with his parents."
"His parents said they hadn't seen him."
I roll my eyes, "Figures. His mom was oblivious to any wrongdoing on his part. She still thinks the sun rises and sets on his ass when really all he does is smoke pot in her basement. Go through the garage door. You'll find him passed out." I tell him as I watch Mary and Angie coming back towards us. Mary is looking wide-eyed at a lounging Silver. I see her ask Carla something. Angie stays pretty far back.
Ranger nods. "What about Frank Katz?"
"Is he still alive? I thought the heroin would've done him in by now."
"He jumped bail. Wanted for dealing."
"Well, I don't think you should have too much trouble with Frankie either. He's not the smartest guy you'll ever meet. Did you check his parent's house?"
He nod, "Yes, and his girlfriend's house and a couple other places. We're running out of time."
"You know, Mooner might know something. Hold on." I call Mooner from my cell and get some info. After about 10 minutes of getting him to focus, he gets me the information I want. When I hang up, I turn to Ranger. "He's at his sister's in Philly. But be nice to her, Beth's really sweet and she's been through a lot."
"Thanks, Babe."
I look at the folder in his hands, not wanting to look him in the eyes since the butterflies were already swarming in my stomach. "Was that it?"
"Pretty much." He steps forward and pushes a curl behind my ear. I force myself not to react to his proximity. "You'll come in tomorrow, then, 8 AM?"
I'm about to answer in the affirmative but Mary Alice draws my attention away from him for a second. "Aunt Stephie, look! He likes me; he's letting me sit on his back!" I turn and sure enough there is Mary Alice sitting on Silver's back without a saddle. He has reins on him and he was on the ground, so I step closer.
"Mary Alice, get off of him right now!" But as I step towards him, Silver stands up. "Mary! Don't move!"
Mary Alice struggles with balance a bit as Silver stands up, "Whoa, he's so much taller than all the other horses! I can see everything from up here!"
After that things were a blur. Ranger and I slowly approach the horse but Silver decides that he's under attack and takes off. "Mary!" I cry as Ranger pulls me out of the way before I get trampled. Silver makes a run for it, barreling out of the stable and out into the open. He keeps on going, Mary bouncing way too much on his back.
For a second I'm stunned, and I'm about to jump onto Cookie, the other horse and go after her, but Ranger beats me to it. In the blink of an eye, he climbs on the horse and takes off after Silver.
I watch with horror-filled eyes as he slowly catches up with them. I hold Angie close to my side and shield her as best I can, but she looks anyway. We see Silver far ahead and Ranger slowly closing the distance between the two. Finally Ranger and his horse catch up with Silver and he grabs the reins, stopping the giant horse. I watch as he picks Mary off Silver and put her on his saddle, in front of him. She is holding onto him for dear life.
The two of them, with the horses moseying along slowly, make their way back to the stable, where the stable hands and trainers rush them and apologize profusely, finally taking Silver away.
"Mary," I say as I lifted her out of the saddle.
"I'm sorry Aunt Stephie," she says with big tears rolling down her face. "I didn't know he would do that."
I sigh and hug her tightly, planting a few kisses on her face "You have to be more careful. Are you alright?" She nods against me. "Okay then, go say thank you to Ranger and then get cleaned up, we're going home now."
She nods again and goes to Ranger. "Thank you, Mr. Ranger."
Ranger shoots her a small smile. "Sure thing," he ruffles her hair and her and Angie were off.
When they leave, I sigh. "God, Ranger, I'm sorry you had to—, thank you, I don't—," I pause and put my head in my hands. My heart is racing a mile a minute and I keep seeing Silver bolt off with Mary Alice barely hanging on. Its playing like a broken movie reel in my head.
"Relax." Ranger says soothingly. I feel his warm hand make contact with the back of my neck.
The one touch adds even more unpleasant thoughts in my head so I straighten up and step away from him as swiftly as I can. "Thanks, Ranger. I—," I stop myself before I blurt out I owe you. It seems as though I've been paying double and I don't want to be in his debt any longer.
Ranger seems to read my mind. "No price, Stephanie." His eyes bore into mine. "Glad I could help. I guess I owe you for interrupting your day with your nieces."
I shrug. "I guess." There is an awkward silence in which I can feel him looking at me. "I'm going to check on the girls. I'll see you tomorrow."
--
--
The next morning I get up, extra early, since I'd stayed at the house. I make a cup of coffee in my cool new coffee maker and drink it outside on the patio. I look out at the yard. The summer is fast approaching and the days were getting hot; if I was going to keep the pool, I'd have to have it done soon.
After getting dressed, I drive back to Trenton and directly to RangeMan. I give a little finger wave to Hal at the front and went upstairs to the fifth floor as instructed by Ranger yesterday. They are already waiting for me in his office.
"Change of plans, Babe." He says when I walk in.
"Oh?"
"Turns out Hector's sick with the flu, too. Ella's caring for them all on the fourth floor. I need them to rest up so they'll be ready when the big jobs come in. I'll be going with you."
I force myself not to react. "Okay." Seriously, the Lord in Heaven must be punishing me for something. Probably something bad I did in a past life. I must've been Henry VIII or someone else awful. Maybe even Stalin.
They fill me in on the job. "We need to install security at a private residence, but we have to scout the place first." Ranger tells me. "We're splitting the men we've got here that aren't sick. This morning we've got a few scouts then later we have an installation. Its not scheduled until later this afternoon. Are you in?"
I nod. "Sounds fine. I'm ready when you are."
So we take off. The first scouting is at the residence of a wealthy elderly couple whose kids are much too paranoid for their own good. It's pretty straight forward; sensors, cameras, safes, panic button, that sort of thing. There were two more scouts scheduled for today for us to do. Ranger made sure to reschedule the scouts they had to do later this week for today mainly to get them out of the way before the spreading flu had a chance to get to his healthy men.
We spent most of the day running around before going to lunch then changing teams. Tank and Lester came with us for an installation. "Do you need me for this?" I ask Ranger as we get into the car. "I can hammer in nails but as for installing systems…"
"I need you." He says. "You'd make this easier on the lady of the house. She might relate better to another female. Do you mind?"
I shake my head. "No. Let's go."
Tank and Lester automatically go into the backseat, though I offer them shotgun. I buckle in and they tell me what they're going to be doing. "It's been a while since we've done an installation." Lester says. "That's not usually our department."
"But you know how to, right?" I ask.
"Oh, definitely," he says. "We don't do it often but we know the drill."
We drive for a while, mostly in silence. We're somewhat close to my house, though we pass the exit on the freeway. I, of course, say nothing. When we arrive, Ranger lets Tank and Lester get to work on the outdoor stuff and motions me inside. Basically I hold the tools while Ranger works on the security system. "Well, I feel useful." I tell him.
"Philips head." He says and I hand it to him. "See? You are useful."
I fail to bite back a small grin.
"Wow. A smile."
I roll my eyes. "Don't get used to it."
"It's alright. That will tide me over for at least a week. That's when I start breaking out the jokes."
"You know jokes?"
"I'm a funny guy."
I fail to bite back another small grin.
"See?"
I sigh.
When we're done on the inside, we go outside to Lester and Tank. They're done, too and Tank is explaining the workings to the husband while Lester is nursing a big red spot on his arm. Ranger raises an eyebrow. "Got stung by a bee." He says.
"Did you get the stinger out?" Ranger asks.
"Working on it."
I step forward and help Lester. "Hold on." I dig in my purse and pull out some tweezers. Lester is moving around too much for me to get it. "Hold still."
"Trying here." He says with not an ounce of comedy in his voice.
I look up at him and there is something off. "Lester? Are you feeling alright?" He's paler than he was a minute ago. "Les?"
Ranger steps up to him. "Are you allergic to bees?"
Lester thinks for a second. "Fuck!" he says and suddenly starts panting. "Can't… breathe… right."
Ranger calls Tank and grabs Lester, hauling him to the truck. "He's going into anaphylactic shock! Tank, help me get him in the car!" he barks.
As they carry him, I quickly apologize to the client and rush into the car after them.
"What does he need?"
"An immediate dose of ephedrine, his airway is getting blocked" Ranger says automatically. "Where's the nearest hospital?"
Tank, who is trying to help Lester breathe, "I think we're about 25 minutes away. There is St. Vincent's hospital north of here. Either that or Trenton General."
"I can get to Trenton faster than St. Vincent's." Ranger hits the accelerator and we're off, racing back towards Trenton.
I'm still confused as I look at Lester. "Ephedrine?"
"Its adrenaline. To open up his airway." Ranger says.
Suddenly I understand. "Like… an EpiPen?"
"Yea." Tank says.
Lester is looking pretty terrible.
"I have an EpiPen at my place." I say to Ranger as he weaves through traffic.
"We're closer to the hospital than we are to your apartment." He mutters, not taking his eyes off the road.
I shake my head and bite the bullet, "Make a right at the next exit, follow that road for one mile then make the first left. Trust me." Ranger says nothing but follows my directions. I look into the back seat at Lester… he wasn't looking too good. I guide Ranger for another two minutes and in record time we were on my block. "Last house in the cul-de-sac," I direct, "Pull up to the gate." He does so and lowers his window while I lean across him and punch numbers into the pad. The gate opens and we drive into the driveway. He pulls up in front and I sprint out of the car, open the door, ignoring the alarm which is bound to go off in a second and rush to the kitchen drawer for Angela's extra EpiPen.
No sooner had I handed it out Ranger than the alarm went off. "I'll take care of it." I tell him. He takes care of Lester while I disable the alarm. The minute I did, the house phone rings and I assure the security people that I'm alright, just in a hurry.
When I get off the phone, I rush outside to where Lester is. He's breathing and his color is better. Ranger and Tank are monitoring him. "How do you feel?" I ask him.
"Better," he says weakly. "Thank you."
"Sure. Do you want to come in and rest for a bit, or should we take you to a hospital?" I ask and look to Ranger for an answer.
"Hospital, just to be sure." Ranger says immediately.
"Hold up," says Les, "I think I may puke."
I nod, "That happened to my niece, too. Come inside for a minute. All that riding around in the car isn't going to help."
Ranger and Tank help Lester inside and deposit him on the couch. I quickly get him some water and a puke bucket in case he can't make it to the bathroom.
Ranger stands against the wall, surveying the house. He doesn't look happy. "Where are we?" He asks, as he pulls me aside, "Is this your new boyfriend's house?"
I frown. "This house is mine." I turn away from him and go to Lester, who is looking a lot better.
"Really, this house is yours?" Lester asks between deep breaths. When I nod he says, "Did you just move in or something?" he asks, referring to some of the more bare spaces. We're in the family room, which is set up pretty well, but the other rooms visible are bare.
"Kind of. Its sort of a work in progress."
Lester nods. "Do your nieces have a lot of use for EpiPens?"
"Not really anymore, but a little while back Angela had a really bad attack." I explain, "She's asthmatic and gets bad allergies. Something happened where she went into shock, but no one was ready and she almost died. Now everyone in the family has one at their house. Angie and Mary each carry one with them and so does my sister. I have one here and one at my apartment."
Lester grins, finally looking like himself. "Good thing, eh?"
I smile. "Tell me about it. From now on, there should be one in each RangeMan vehicle." I turn to Ranger, "Really, its for the best."
He nods once. "It'll be done tomorrow."
I offer drinks to Tank and Ranger, though they refuse. I go get myself a glass of water. When I'm in the kitchen, I take a second to figure out what the hell I just did. Ranger knows. Its all over.
No more safe haven.
"So this is where you disappear to." I jump at Ranger's voice behind me.
I say nothing.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
I shrug. "Why should I have to?"
When I don't elaborate he says, "Babe."
I sigh. "We have the weirdest history. I wasn't happy in Trenton, haven't been for a while and you… well you needed to be free of me and I wanted a place that I felt comfortable in. I didn't want to tell anyone about it…" I feel myself beginning to get angry, mostly at myself for giving him so much information, and I'm about to tell him to mind his own business. "I have a right to do what I want."
Before I can, though, he stalks over to me and grabs a hold of both my shoulders. "What makes you think I wanted to 'be free of you'? Stephanie, look at me." I do, slowly. "Fuck, Steph. I've been going crazy wondering what you've been up to. A million things ran through my head. I love you… in one way or another I love you. I have to know you're safe. Always. That doesn't change."
I don't want to think about what 'one way or another' meant right now. I don't want to fight anymore. I step away from him, out of his reach and say nothing.
His blank face is back.
"We should get going." Tank says, popping his head into the kitchen as he looks at his watch. "We should have a doctor check him out just to be safe. I'd rather not get home too late, Boss. Lula's waiting up tonight."
Ranger nods. "Thanks, Babe. Goodnight."
--
--
BUZZZZZZZZZZZ---
Fucking Buzzer!
What a terrible way to be awoken. I finally get to sleep after tossing and turning all night and I have to wake up to this?! Who is here at this hour anyway?! Don't people have any decency—
Oh. It's nearly 9AM. The landscapers are scheduled to be here this morning.
I get up from my bed, go to the foyer to check the monitor, then stop when I see the black Porsche Cayenne waiting at the front gate.
I don't let him in; instead I hit the button for the intercom. "Who is it?" I ask, though I already know.
"Babe," comes his voice.
"Did you forget something yesterday?"
"No. Just curious about a few things." I stifle a groan at his words. "You going to let me in?"
"I'm not up for company right now, Ranger. Please don't come by unannounced."
He's silent for a bit and I think he's going to leave when I hear his voice on the intercom. "Just this once... please, Babe?"
Reluctantly, I hit the button to let him in. As the front gate opens, I unlock and open the front door, then go to my room to change. When I hear him coming in I call over my shoulder. "Be back in a second."
The Lord only knows what he wants to talk to me about. I don't delay in brushing my teeth and changing into jeans. Having him here is making me uncomfortable.
It's a sad thought, really. I used to trust him with everything. I suppose on some level I still do, but I'm realizing none of it is free. Quite frankly, the heartbreak that accompanies Ranger is too steep a price for me these days.
When I come back out, Ranger is sitting on the couch. "I'm surprised you haven't gotten a TV yet." He says.
"There's still a lot that needs to be done," I tell him, shortly. "What are you doing here?"
He grins. "I didn't get a chance to really check this place out last night. Besides, I wanted to see you."
BUZZZZZ—
Ugh, I hate that damn buzzer.
"What the hell was that?" Ranger asks.
"Front gate. I hate that sound." My eye twitches. I go to the monitor in the foyer and hit the button to let the landscapers in. I go greet them and let them get to work.
Ranger follows me, silently. "Babe, RangeMan can take over your security. Who have you got now?"
A tiny spasm of dread sparks in me. "Thanks for your concern, but no thanks. I'm going to stick with Ritchert."
"Ritchert Security? No, if you want the best—,"
I hold up my hand to stop him, closing my eyes. "Ranger. Thanks. Really, I appreciate everything you've done for me in the past, but I'd really rather not."
Ranger stares hard at me. "Is there a problem?"
"Yes! I just got things close to how I like them. I have privacy here, a concept that's totally lost on you!" I suddenly explode. "No crazies, no rumors, no Rambo sneaking in whenever he pleases to screw with me or scream at me or install cameras when I'm not looking!"
"I shouldn't have screamed at you." He blank face is gone replaced by something resembling shame, "I was being… that was wrong. I'm sorry. But the camera was for your own safety." He says, unperturbed.
I sigh, "Thank you. But I don't need anyone having complete access to me whenever they feel like it." We both know what I mean: I don't want him having access to me whenever he felt like it.
"Have you brought your boyfriend here yet?"
"Mark? No, not yet."
"But you're going to?"
I cross my arms over my chest. "Why does it matter?"
"Are you?" he demands.
"Maybe." I refuse to say any more on the subject.
Ranger pinches the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. "This is so fucked up." He sighs. "Forget I asked that. You do what you want." He straightens up, "Do you mind if I check out the house? I'd like to see what you have as far as security goes."
"No." I say.
He steps closer to me, "If someone else is in charge of keeping you safe, I need to know they're doing a good job. I don't trust anyone else with your safety."
"Well, you're going to have to. At least with these people I know exactly what's being done. You do what you want with or without my approval."
He takes another step. "What if I promise to make only a few small adjustments?"
"No. I don't want to have to worry about anyone barging in at night or planting secret cameras anywhere. I like being able to dance naked when I want."
His eyebrows shot up. "You dance naked?"
I blush a bit. "I like to have the option."
His hands are on my waist now. "So what it boils down to is that you don't trust me."
"With my life, sure. With my privacy, no." With my heart, no.
"What if I guarantee you have complete say in whatever you want? No cameras on anything other than the front gate." I waver for a moment, listening to his smooth, deep voice. It's hypnotizing and so is his scent. "Seriously, Babe, there are a few gaps here. I don't want to take away your privacy. I just want you safe." He's suddenly so close. "You can trust me, I won't let you down."
I'm looking at his lips and I want them on mine so much I can almost feel them. But I pull away before I give in. "I'll think about it."
He nods. We're both silent for a minute. He's looking at me with an expression I don't understand.
BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ—
"Fucking buzzer!" I say, clapping my hands over my ears.
He comes forward, kisses my forehead briefly and turns his attention back to the monitor. "You know these guys?" He asks.
I see the guys from the pool maintenance place wave at the camera. "Yeah, you can let them in." He does and I go out front to meet them then take them to the backyard so they can start working. "This place is really nice, Babe." He says, looking out back. "Its very… you."
I smile. "Thank you."
"It's a good place to raise a family."
I shrug. "That's not really what I'm after. I wouldn't say no to raising a puppy, though."
"Puppies are a handful."
"True, but summer is coming up and the girls could help out. I think it might bring Angie out of her shell a little."
He looks like he's thinking about smiling, "You're going to spoil them."
"I'm their aunt; I'm allowed to spoil them. It's their parents that have to worry about the other stuff, not me."
"Good point."
--
--
"Alright, ladies, say cheese." Mark said, holding up the camera.
"Cheese!" Mary, Angie and I say in unison. We're at a summer carnival with the girls. Valerie is too exhausted to go and she didn't trust Albert not to lose the girls so she asked if I would take them. I'm glad to do so.
"I want to go on the tilt-a-whirl again!" Mary Alice points so hard I think her arm is going to fall out of the socket.
Angie frowns. "That made me dizzy the last time."
Mark smiles, "Why don't I go on the tilt-a-whirl with Mary and you two watch?"
I smile back. "Okay. We'll be right here." He gives me a fast kiss on the lips before he and Mary go on the ride while we watch them board it.
This is the second time Mark has met the girls and it's no surprise that he's great with kids. Its no surprise he's great at anything. He's perfect.
"Is there anything in particular you want to go on?" I ask Angela as the ride starts going.
She gives a small, timid shrug. "I'm fine with anything."
This is a problem. Angie is the picture of perfection, the perfect Burg little girl, but sometimes I think it's more out of fear than the way she really is. "Are you sure? Is there anything specific you'd like to do?"
She shakes her head politely. "Not really."
I squat down so that she's looking down at me. "Angela, I know that we go horse back riding, and go to carnivals and movies, but usually they're what Mary Alice wants to do. I want you to feel excited about something we do too. I'm worried about you, honey." I smooth her hair back.
"I like to do those things, too."
I nod. "I know you like them, or don't mind doing them, but just once I'd like you to be so excited about doing something that you feel like you're about to burst until you get to do it. Do you know what I mean?"
She looks confused. "Kind of. You mean how Mary Alice gets when she does anything new? You want me to be more like Mary?"
"No, no, Sweets, I don't want you to be like Mary, I want you to be like you. What I mean is, you know how Mary gets when we go to the stables?"
She nods. "Yes she practically jumps out of her car seat whenever we go."
"Right. Isn't there anything that would make you so excited? I mean, is there anything that you sometimes can't wait to do?"
She shrugs, "I usually can't wait for Albert to wake up when he's watching TV in the living room. He snores really loud."
I laugh, and then she gives me a small smile. I watch as the smile turns bigger until she lets out a little laugh. "Well, I have an idea. How about we start looking for stuff that you like? Like hobbies? We'll try a bunch of things, ballet, drawing, painting, golfing, whatever, we'll try everything once until you find something that you simply have to do again. Is that okay?"
She thinks about it. "Alright."
I pull her into a big hug and kiss her cheek.
"Aunt Stephie, you missed it!" calls Mary as she comes towards us, pulling a green looking Mark along with her. "Mark almost threw up, it was awesome!"
--
Once we dropped the girls off, Mark drops me off at my apartment. I invite him in, but he declines.
"Steph, I've had a lot of fun with you," he says, "But I have to get something off my chest."
Uh-oh, I think. "Um, okay."
He proceeds. "I really like you; I've really liked you for a long time. But I'm getting the feeling its kind of one sided."
I frown. "I like you, too." He looks at me, waiting for me to go on and after a second, I do. "I'm sorry. You kind of came into my life at a weird moment."
He nods. "I get it. Morelli and then that bounty hunter guy…"
"Ranger, no, we're not…"
He stops me. "Well it seems as though there is something there. Or maybe not, but you don't feel something for me."
I sigh. "I'm sorry, Mark. I really want to. You're perfect and I really really want to feel something more."
"But you don't." He says with a sad smile. "Don't sweat it. The fifteen year old boy in me is still so happy he got to date you at all."
"Can we still be…?" I trail off, not wanting him to say no.
"Friends?" He looks hopeful. "I'd love to. You're not getting rid of me that easily."
I smile and throw my arms around him. "Thanks Mark. I'm so sorry."
He shakes his head. "Nothing to apologize for. You're one in a million, Stephanie." He says sincerely as he kisses my hand. "Goodnight."
--
--
A week later, I was just getting out of the bath when the buzzer goes off again. I put a finger to my eye to stop the twitching and go to the monitor.
Its Ranger.
Not again.
In truth, though, I have mixed feelings about this. He's been a more present figure in my life since he's come back; a part of me is swarming with fluttery butterflies, the other part is waiting for him to thrust the yo-yo back out.
It seems to be a pattern with him.
I let him in and go out to meet him. He pulls up right at my front door. "This is a surprise." I say as he exits the car.
He smiles when he sees me. "I thought you'd want that buzzer taken care of."
"I haven't decided on RangeMan yet. And I told you not to come by unannounced."
"It's an easy fix. No contract needed, just one friend helping out another. And I called your phone twice."
I check my phone and sure enough it's on silent and there are two missed calls from Ranger. I'm hesitant. "You're not going to change up the security code or something?"
"You really think I'd do that?"
I raise an eyebrow, "Well, yeah."
He rolls his eyes. "I'm not going to do anything but eliminate the buzzing. You want it taken care of or not?"
Who am I kidding? "Yes, please." I say as I lead the way inside.
"You sure have enough space here, Babe." He says, as we pass by the empty formal dining room, study and library (was originally a formal living room but I'd never use that) "What will you do with it?"
"I have no idea yet. I got as far as making a small library, but mostly all the books I have are magazines."
We go to the kitchen and sit at the table, where he takes out a plan. "What's this?" I ask.
He holds it out to me, "If you do choose to go with RangeMan, these are the only changes."
"Ranger—,"
He interrupts me, "Just look at it. Please?"
I sigh and take a look at the plan. "I don't know what I'm looking at," I say truthfully.
Ranger moves his chair closer to mine. "The current code you have on your garage is so easy to break." He explains.
I raise an eyebrow, "Really? Then I'm surprised you hit the buzzer. Why didn't you just come right in?"
There was the almost smile, "I'm working on giving you your privacy."
I give him a small grin. "Well… that's good. Go on."
He looks at me for another minute then turns back to the plan. "Anyway, there'll be a camera at the front gate like there is now and other ones out back—,"
"Uh-uh," I say, "No way, the front is one thing, but out back?"
"Someone could climb it and break in."
"That's a risk I'm willing to take. No cameras anywhere other than the front gate. I don't want people looking when I'm out by the pool or planting a garden."
"You're going to garden?"
Probably not, I think. "I'd like to have the option."
He looks exasperated… as close to exasperated as Ranger gets, anyway. "Fine. Then we'll use certain sensors. We'll put them in by the back fence, in case anyone tries to climb it."
"You really think someone would go through all that trouble?"
He shrugs, "Not taking any chances. The fence is tall enough to keep out deer and most wildlife, so there shouldn't be any problem with accidental tripping. That brings us down to only one camera. That's how you want it, right?" He reaches over and tucks a stray curl behind my ear. "I can get Hector in here tomorrow to fix the gate and install all this stuff if you approve. No more annoying buzzer."
"I thought you were going to fix the buzzer now without any contract stuff?"
His lips tilt up in the smile. "There's no conning you, is there?"
"Nope."
"Truth is, I can take look at it and disable the sound, but Hector would have to replace the buzzer with something else. I'm not the greatest electrician."
"But you can stop the buzzing?" I ask.
"Yes."
"Yay!"
He grins, "So we have a deal?"
I'm silent. Ranger having access to me whenever he likes? He could just waltz in anytime. Not that I mind that all the time, but I mind when he chooses to be an ass and I mind when it stops happening.
Ranger seems to read my mind, "I'll knock, Babe."
"You promise?"
"You have my word."
He seems very sincere. Ranger usually is a man of his word so, reluctantly I say, "Okay."
He smiles, the full on 200-watt smile and for a second I let myself get lost in it. Luckily I snap back into focus before he can notice anything. "How much is this setting me back?"
"No charge. RangeMan will be monitoring your property, of course so if the alarm goes off—,"
"Hold it. I'm definitely paying for this."
He shoots me a look. "No price, Babe. I need you safe."
But I refuse. "If you don't give me an estimate, I'm going to wire transfer the same amount I've been giving Ritchert Security to RangeMan."
"I can block that."
I frown, "No, you can't."
"I'm pretty sure I can."
"Ranger!" I say exasperatedly. "This is a business transaction. I'm your customer. I have to pay you! You pay me when I work for you."
Ranger sighs impatiently. "How much are you giving Ritchert?" He finally asks. When I tell him the amount, he's flabbergasted. "What? That's robbery! No. A quarter of that amount."
"75%," I bargain. "I happen to know you charge your clients in the same ballpark."
"50%" He says and I can tell he's not going to budge. "You're not just any client."
"Fine 50%, plus installation fees."
"Babe."
I cross my arms over my chest and do my best imitation of the blank stare. "That's my final offer."
Ranger closes his eyes and rests his head on the table. "You're getting too good at this." He says, "Fine. Deal." He stands. "I have to go."
I nod and stand to walk him back out. "How come you didn't just call? We could've done this over the phone, that way you wouldn't have had to drive so far out of your way."
He comes over and pulls me into his arms. "True, but I wouldn't have been able to do this over the phone." I let him hold me for a minute but say nothing. He kisses the top of my head. "I missed you while I was away." I still say nothing, though the truth is that I'd missed him too. I've missed him a lot. I've missed the real Ranger.
My Ranger.
He exhales above me, "Someday soon, Babe, I'm going to earn your trust back. Count on it." He pulls away. "Later."
I get a vibe telling me that he wants to kiss me, but I turn away before he can. I can't let him.
Not again.
His blank face is in place when he leaves.
--
Yes, I split the chapter into two because it was way too long.
