AN: Thank you for the reviews! Haha they made me very happy! Keep reviewing! Keep me happy! Honestly, this chapter went in the completely opposite direction that I intended it to go. I am one of those writers who writes the first thing that comes to their head and have no future plan. I have a few ideas about the future but they could change, just like this chapter had. I hope you enjoy it! Read and REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! I don't know when I'll get to update next, hopefully Friday but it most likely will be Saturday.
P.S: This chapter might seem a bit rough around the edges. I apologize. It seemed that way to me, at least.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight Universe.
Chapter 4: Don't Ever Think I'll Make You Try
September, 1935
Edward examined the dark blue button-down shirt. He held it up to me for my opinion. We were shopping for clothes for Emmett. It had been a little over a month since I had brought him to Carlisle, and he had a habit of getting his clothes dirty quickly. For the most part, he was used to his strength, but often he wouldn't be paying attention and he'd easily rip through the human fabric. Edward and Carlisle weren't exactly the same size as him, so he was in desperate need for some clothing.
I shook my head at his choice.
"Why not?" Edward was becoming impatient with me. In truth, I didn't mind the shirt, but I was having too much fun annoying him.
"That blue is too dark."
"I happen to like it," Edward muttered.
"Then buy it for yourself."
He gave me an odd look, which I ignored. I knew exactly which look he was giving me, I didn't need to see it. He was making a joke out of my desire to choose the clothes that I wanted to see Emmett in. We already selected quite a few articles of clothing, but I still didn't think there was enough.
Edward and I were pretending to be a young newlywed couple, so we didn't draw too much attention to ourselves as two young people who were together shopping for male clothing and were not betrothed in any way.
"What about this dear?" He held out a red shirt, which I had quickly become fond of. The sales lady was standing aside, unable to take her eyes off of Edward, but at the same time kept her unexplainable distance from him.
"Yes, get that," I felt the material and found that it was very soft. I smiled and turned around examining my nails.
"I say we're done for now, don't you?" he brought the clothes over to the man at the till. I followed him and waited for him to pay. We quickly left; the car was parked just outside the store.
Edward tossed the bags in the backseat, and slid into the driver's side. I sat down gracefully in the passenger seat. I couldn't help it, I peered into the rearview mirror, checking my features for anything awry. It was superfluous, but I did it anyway.
He turned on the car and sped off, driving us back home. We drove quite a ways, and were heading back to our house in southern Kentucky. Carlisle had plans for us to move soon. It just wasn't too smart to have Emmett so close to his home. We would relocate at the end of September.
The ride home with Edward was mostly silent; I talked for a while about my plans to increase the speed on the engine, which got him very excited. I found that I was getting excited – as we got closer home – about seeing Emmett again. This was the first time we'd been separated, even if it had only been for a few hours, it wasn't a pleasant experience that I cared to repeat ever again. Although I knew that was unavoidable. I wondered if he missed me, too.
I sat forward anxiously as Edward pulled up our long drive through the woods to the house. We were so close, I could smell him. Emmett. I needed to see him smile again.
"He's missing you too," Edward said.
I looked at him, he seemed a little too concentrated on the road, and he didn't have to be, after all. But I appreciated his words. I nodded and began to wring my hands together. The apprehension I was feeling was unlike any other I had ever felt. And then that would only increase my anxiety.
When Edward finally pulled the car to a stop, I decided to take my time, as to appear not too eager. I reached over into the backseat to get the bags; Edward already left me to retrieve them by myself. When I turned to walk up the porch steps, Emmett stood there smiling, uneasily. I felt my body begin to slow down as I saw that he was waiting for me. I smiled back.
"Are those bags all clothes for me?" He asked. It figured he was only here to get a change of clothes.
"Yes," I said, I walked over to him and handed it to him. I was suddenly very worried that I was the only one who was fully into the idea of the two of us. And I wanted him to want it as well. So I never broke eye contact with him. He stared back and only when I pushed the bags to his stone, well muscled chest, did he remember the need of clothing.
"Right, I'll just change, now." He seemed to be having trouble removing his gaze from mine, and slowly backed into the open front door, still smiling at me. I waved at him, as he soon realized he'd have to turn around to make his way up the stairs.
As I heard his bedroom door close, I let out a breath that I hadn't realized I'd been holding. I made my way up the stairs, and walked extra leisurely as I passed his door, hoping he'd come out to stop me. To talk to me. But he didn't, so I continued my way to my room slightly disappointed.
Once I entered, and I lay myself onto the bed, I did something. Something I hadn't done since I was a human. I dreamed. And not in the way a human does when they sleep, although it felt just as vividly as I remembered. I imagined - or day dreamed, however you wanted to call it – about a wedding. My wedding to Emmett.
It was an impossibility of course, because firstly, the sun shone down on our outside ceremony. I made my way towards Emmett. I was dressed in the most beautiful wedding dress I had ever seen. It bunched at the shoulders, and was tight fitted to my waste, where it fell out to the ground. My veil covered my face in the most alluring way, and my train lay behind me, at least ten feet long. The dress was the most beautiful white I had ever seen. It was so clean, and tidy. I wore my hair up high on my head. I wore the deepest shade of red lipstick.
Despite the sun, I didn't sparkle. None of us sparkled. I made my way down the aisle, with Edward and Carlisle standing next to the groom, and Esme standing on my side waiting, all three of them looked very happy. The minister stood between the three of them waiting to unite the bride and groom.
And then there was Emmett.
He was flawlessly handsome. His black suit, worked well with his pale skin. He looked over the moon with happiness, he grinned at me and his dimples were ever so prominent. I couldn't help but grin back at him, as I made my way to the most dashing man I had ever laid eyes on.
Emmett was impatient of my arrival, and took three grand strides to me and with a hand on the small of my back and another cradling my neck he moved his lips to mine, before the minister could instruct him too. I wasn't angry that he did so, behaving against the rules, but ever so pleased. I felt romanticized. He pulled away and smiled a perfect smile, then led me to the minister.
My heart felt swelled with the amount of love that was emanating from him and me, as we said our vows and kissed officially as man and wife.
As my daydream continued, and I was beginning to imagine our wedding night, I was interrupted by a knock on the door, which surprised me.
I hadn't been startled in my entire time as a vampire. I knew when things were coming, but I was so distracted that I hadn't even noticed the man of my dreams waiting outside my door.
I told him he could come in, and as I sat up straighter on my bed, I felt guilty as if he caught me doing something naughty. All I had done is dream a future with him. But there was no way that he could possibly know what I was thinking, unless Edward told him. I fought back a growl at the thought of Edward interfering. But Emmett didn't seem upset or anything so I tried to focus just on him, which wasn't that hard I found.
Emmett sat at the end of my bed, and I felt my body very hyper aware of his close proximity, loving every tingle and feeling of anticipation. Emmett was looking down at my clothed feet. I wanted to pull them away so he would stop staring. What did he find so interesting with my socked feet?
He finally looked up, looking shy. "I missed you while you were away." He finally uttered. My heart soared at his words. "It's a bit ridiculous though, because you couldn't have been gone more than a few hours. It felt longer, though."
I nodded, too nervous to respond. Why was I nervous? I had nothing to be nervous for. I was becoming irritated at myself. Emmett was so willing to put himself out there, but I was terrified.
"Did you not feel the same?" he was looking at my expression. I tried to tell him that I was angry at myself and not at his confession.
"No, no. I'm just slightly frustrated…" I forced out.
"With me?" he asked.
"No, with myself. I wish -" I inhaled sharply. Could I not just spit it out already? All I had to say was 'I missed you too'. Say it again. 'I missed you too.' 'I missed you too.' "I'm tired." I felt my inner self really want to shake my outer self silly.
"Oh, not literally though? Because that's not possible." Emmett was smiling despite my idiotic words. He sighed and pulled his legs up onto the bed, sitting comfortably, as if he planned on staying for a while. "I think I miss that the most. Sleeping, I mean. Being tired. I took advantage of it before, I realize."
"I miss it too." 'I missed you too.' I hope he got the double meaning in my words, because I meant them for him, not the stupid sleeping.
"I miss my mom." He said after a few moments of silence, the length of a couple human heart beats. I looked at him; he was putting himself out there. He was willing to be vulnerable around me. Meanwhile, I struggled with that, being open with him. Why couldn't I?
"It's hard at first, but you'll get –" Used to it? I certainly still wasn't used to it. "It gets better. Do you miss your father or your siblings at all?"
Emmett scowled slightly. "Not really. Maybe my sister, Jenny." He smiled. "My dad wasn't a very nice man. I mean, he wasn't horrible. But I kind of got the feeling that he didn't care too much about his kids. He loved my mother, but often seemed very short when it came to his children. He never really showed me much…affection."
"And your brothers?" I knew Emmett had six brothers, and two sisters.
He laughed. "There was nothing I loved more than proving to my brothers that I am stronger. That's why I am so big." He shrugged. "I was the smallest for the longest time, and I hated it. So I worked hard at being the bigger brother, in size. When I finally showed them that I could beat them at anything: arm wrestling, fighting, lifting – they tried their hardest to show me that they were still the bigger brothers. We competed a lot." He finished and seemed lost in thought as he stared at a spot on the carpet.
"Did you always win, then?"
He brightened up at this question. "I won everything since I was seventeen. That's when I started to get big."
I couldn't help the smile, when I thought of Emmett beating all his brothers, who in my thoughts looked similar to him. But of course Emmett was far more beautiful.
We sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes.
"Rose," he said. I looked up. No one had called me Rose in a while. Not since…not since I saw him last. Not since I snapped his neck…
He noticed me flinch at the nickname.
"Rosalie," he tried again. This time I caught his stare with my own. Nothing else mattered but him. He leaned forward, towards me. My body responded to his slow movement, I was surprised by my hesitance. Was I not just dreaming of our future only moments ago? But dreaming it and living it were completely different.
I shook my head, childishly. He looked at me in confusion. I stood up quickly and was across the room from him in an instant.
"I'm sorry I can't." I said so quietly, I was surprised that he heard me, because once I said it he looked as if I slapped him.
"Is it not what you wanted?" his voice was very unsure as he said the words.
I looked at him helplessly. "I don't know."
He took a step towards me, and I shuddered. It was an involuntary reaction; there was nothing I wanted more than for him to hold me. But that was what my body wanted and my conscious. But I realized that my subconscious was screaming at me to not trust him.
I couldn't look at him, and I kept my face towards the wall. The wall couldn't hurt me. He could. I waited for him to leave me. But he didn't. He stood there, waiting for me. What did he want from me? What did he want me to do? All I could do right now is try hard not to fall apart. He couldn't see me broken.
I was panicking, my body was having all the signs and symptoms that human went through when they experienced a panic or anxiety attack. And here I was, a vampire experiencing those same emotions. I couldn't breathe, I wouldn't breathe. If I inhaled his scent, well, I was afraid how I would react.
It was uncomfortable, not breathing. So I finally allowed myself to inhale a shaky breath. His scent hit me just like I thought it would. And made me want to break down into sobs. I was offending him, disappointing him. My reaction was unforgivable. I must not have looked my best either. I most likely looked hideous. That, made me shrink against the wall even more. I slid down to the floor, hitting the ground and wrapping my long, shaky arms around my knees, pulled to my chest.
Emmett spoke finally, "I tried to ask Edward what you were about. But he refused. He said it was a story you had to tell me yourself. I hoped," I heard his feet shuffle. I closed my eyes tightly, wishing him away. "If you don't want to tell me Rosalie, that's fine. When I touched you in the garage that day, you may not have noticed it, but you were so still, and hesitant. I wondered why that was…"
I shook my head; I couldn't let out a sob that would be humiliating.
"I'm sorry for making you feel uncomfortable, I didn't mean to. If you want me to go, then I will. Right now," he didn't want to. I could tell, just from his voice. But he had to go. He couldn't see me like this. It was horribly embarrassing.
"Go," I managed to say, finally. I was mortified with my stupid reactions. I pleaded with my body to stop its...revulsion.
He didn't leave at first, but eventually the room felt empty and meaningless once he exited my door. I heard him exit the house, where Edward stood, almost waiting for him. Emmett told him he needed to hunt, and Edward quickly agreed to accompany him. They left. I sobbed.
R/R!
