Authors Note: I hope that you are still following the story, and it is still good enough for you to review. I love to hear your comments! This chapter covers their first meeting since Blair left New York.
Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl or the characters. Too bad for me!
Chapter 4
Her heart was pounding, and she surely thought she must be having delusions, because Chuck Bass could not be here in her room standing in a towel. Had she passed out? Was she so drunk that she passed out and this was all a figment of her imagination. Then he spoke again, and she came back to her senses.
"Blair". His voice was gravely with a hint of anger. What the hell, she thought. What the hell is he doing here and grabbing her arm and sounding hurt and angry. "Chuck". It was all she could manage to get out of her mouth as he was pulling her inside the room and shutting the door behind her. His fingers were gripping her elbow a little harder than he should have and she pulled enough that he finally let go. "What are you doing here?"
Her voice was a little shaky, which was understandable as she was shocked and, yes damn it elated, to see him standing there. He had followed her. For once in the many years they had danced around each other, he had followed her, and she couldn't help but feel good about that. He still hadn't replied to her earlier question, so she asked it again, but added his name this time for effect. "Chuck, what are you doing here?" He finally must have realized that she expected an answer because his eyes focused on hers and then proceeded to scan her from head to toe, taking in her short black dress. "I came to find you Waldorf. We need to talk." He started towards her and she quickly stepped backwards, almost tripping and falling to the floor. She managed to grab the edge of a desk near the door and catch herself.
"I don't want to talk." She was trying to calm herself and keep him from touching her. She knows if he touches her, she will give in and allow him to solve their problems with sex. She wasn't going to let that happen. She wouldn't make it that easy for him. Not this time.
He noticed her body language and stopped short of grabbing her shoulders. He raked his hand through his hair and sighed. He tried looking into her eyes again, but she looked away. He knew this wasn't going to be discussed tonight. It was evident she had been drinking, and he was exhausted and frustrated. It wouldn't do either of them any good to force a conversation that was sure to end in a shouting match.
"Ok. We don't have to talk tonight. Let's both get some sleep, and we can discuss this in the morning." He was moving now back toward the bathroom when her answer startled him and stopped him in his tracks. "No! You do not get to tell me what to do Chuck Bass! You don't get to show up looking like the one who was wronged. I don't want to talk to you now or in the morning. You shouldn't have come here. I want you to leave." She was shaking now. He probably thought it was from anger, but it was really out of fear and hurt. She was hurting and she wanted him to feel that hurt too.
"You don't mean that Blair." All of the sudden he is walking towards her again and even though she puts up her hand for him to stop, he doesn't. He's touching her hair now and looking at her with those eyes. "I know you don't mean that." His lips are now slanted against hers asking for forgiveness the only way that he knows how. His body still damp from his shower is pressing against hers, and he places his lips on her neck. He's pulling her closer, and kissing her face now, when he realizes that she is crying, and not the kind of tears that he has come to expect. These are different, and they scare him.
"I'm sorry." It slips from his lips before he realizes he has said it. He is looking into her eyes again, hoping that the answers will be there and he will know what to do to fix this. "It's not enough." Her reply seems to even surprise her, and she sees the hurt in his eyes and for a few seconds it makes her feel good to hurt him. "Please leave Chuck." The tears continue to stream down her face, even though she wants to appear strong in her resolve. Her shoulders are shaking now and she is afraid that any minute she will break down and lose all control. "I love you Blair". He loves her and she loves him. That was never in question. But she doesn't want to feel this way and sorry isn't enough.
"I'll agree to leave now, if you promise to talk with me in the morning. I won't go back to New York without you Blair. We have come too far to throw it all away now. I won't lose you over this." She couldn't think with him standing so close to her, and she suddenly lost all ability for speech. So she just nodded, and hoped that he would accept that and go. It wasn't until he was dressed and heading toward the door with his suitcase that she really believed that he would leave. He turned the door handle and then turned around one last time. She was still standing in the same spot as she had been for the last 20 minutes. For some reason she felt frozen and unsure where she should move to. "I'll be back at 9 in the morning, and I hope that we can sit down and talk then. Get some rest." He shut the door, and that is when Blair Waldorf lost herself.
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