I do not own Warriors or any of the original characters from Warriors, I simply own the ones not in the original series.
Author's Note: Sorry, for the long wait! I've been very busy in real life/my muse really enjoys bopping around story ideas.
Chapter 3
Icepaw reluctantly followed Moonpelt as his mentor led him back into ThunderClan territory. He still didn't understand why Moonpelt was angry with him yet again. So what if Icepaw had challenged the ShadowClan cats at the border? At least HE had done something! Then again, Moonpelt seemed to consider him useless. Icepaw apparently couldn't hunt, couldn't fight, and most certainly couldn't do anything right! The deputy was always nagging at him or lecturing him, like now!
"You really need to consider the consequences of your actions," Moonpelt meowed. "You could have easily been ripped to shreds if the ShadowClan patrol had wanted to attack!"
"I get it," Icepaw meowed. Nag! Nag! Nag! That's all you ever do! Just once tell me I did something right! Hawkwing was never like this! A fresh wave of grief nearly overwhelmed him then, but he managed to fight it off, letting his annoyance with Moonpelt take its place once more. Every cat in the clan had congratulated him and told him what an honor it was to have Moonpelt as a mentor and that he'd learn a lot. So far, all Icepaw had learned was that Moonpelt had a knack for lecturing.
"No, you obviously don't get it," Moonpelt meowed, turning to face Icepaw, "I don't know why I bother taking you out on patrols or hunting! You never seem to have your heart or mind in it! Nothing should be keeping you from serving your clan!"
Icepaw bristled at his mentor's words, "I have been serving my clan!"
"Oh really?"
"Yes!"
"When was the last time you brought back more than one piece of fresh-kill?"
Icepaw found himself unable to say.
"When was the last time you did anything with your friends, Blazefoot and Ashfall, or any of your clanmates without being told?"
This time Icepaw had an answer, "I've seen Dawnstep and Icecloud!"
"Well then maybe there's hope for you yet," Moonpelt meowed. "We'll hunt here." Without another word, Moonpelt stalked into the undergrowth.
Icepaw glared at his mentor's tail as it disappeared into the brush. Grouchy furball! Lifting his head, he scented the air, but instead of scenting any prey, he caught a familiar scent of the breeze, Badger? Still in a foul mood and itching for a fight, Icepaw stalked through the bushes and brush, following the scent.
Moving carefully around any sticks and plants, he came across the source of the scent near the Thunderpath—a badger's den.
Icepaw walked out into the clearing in front of the den and gazed into its depths, his ears pricked for sounds of life within the den. The fresh scents told him there was a badger in there, maybe some cubs, though he couldn't be sure of that fact. Adrenaline pulsed through his body as he heard a snuffling from within. There was definitely a badger in that den! His breathing quickened as he grew more excited. A fight was just what he needed! He unsheathed his claws, his gaze still on the entrance to the den as the snuffling grew louder.
Something slammed into his side and he yowled in surprise. Getting back to his paws quickly, Icepaw hissed at his attacker, but Moonpelt's broad head butted his shoulder roughly, "MOVE!" Hearing the panic in his mentor's voice, Icepaw's instincts took over and he ran, leaving his mentor in the dust as he wove through the undergrowth. He only slowed when his paws couldn't carry him any farther, and Icepaw sat down heavily, his breath coming in gasps. It'd been a long time since he'd run so fast and hard.
Moonpelt slid to a halt beside him a few seconds later, and though the warrior was panting, he looked around, listened, and scented the air before he turned, unleashing his fury on Icepaw, "What were you thinking?!"
"I just," Icepaw crouched low to the ground, very much afraid of his mentor.
Moonpelt didn't let him explain, "You could have been killed?! Then the clan would be without another cat! Why don't you ever think, Icepaw?!" Icepaw didn't say anything, his ears flat against his head. This was a side of Moonpelt that he'd never seen. The deputy was always calm and collected; a reassuring presence in the camp with his quiet authority. Tail lashing, Moonpelt growled, "You've really made me wonder if it's worth my time to train you as a warrior…" All the anger seemed to drain out of Moonpelt then as he sat down, his head hanging.
Icepaw straightened up slowly as he dared to meow, "I'm worth training."
"Really?" Moonpelt gazed at him, his gaze tired. "At the rate you've been going, Larkpaw and Honeypaw will be warriors before you!" He sighed again, "You have so much to give the clan, Icepaw. I've seen it! What I don't understand is why you've grown so distant from your clanmates and have lost the will to serve your clan! Don't you care anymore, Icepaw?!"
"I do care!" Icepaw yowled.
Moonpelt matched his voice in volume, "Than why don't you start acting like it!"
Icepaw looked down at his paws then. Moonpelt had hit right upon the issue. He DID want to serve his clan. The problem was that death seemed to follow his paw steps closely. He was bad luck to any cat that he grew close to. First had been Swiftwind. Then his father, Emberpelt had been blinded, and then Hawkwing had died. Icepaw didn't want any other cats to suffer because of him. How could he explain that to Moonpelt, who was the embodiment of misunderstanding and criticism?
Apparently sensing Icepaw's change of mood, Moonpelt touched his tail to Icepaw's flank, "Icepaw, whatever's on your mind, you can tell me."
Between his mentor's gentle tone and kind gaze, Icepaw relented, "I'm bad luck to the clan…"
"How so, Icepaw?"
"Swiftwind's dead, my father is blind, my family has been torn apart by my actions, and Hawkwing is dead!" Icepaw wailed, desperately wanting Moonpelt to understand why he was being so distant.
Moonpelt's gaze was still filled with kindness and understanding, "Icepaw…you've seen a lot of death for such a young cat, but the fact remains that cats die all the time. Leaders, elders, warriors, queens, even kits. StarClan calls all to its ranks at some time. I'll eventually be called to join their ranks, as will you. As for being bad luck, you forget how much stronger our clan has become since you and your father arrived. We can now hold our own against the other clans, and we have won against them as well! You can't let your grief stop you from serving your clan. You need to use your grief to better serve it."
Icepaw laid his ears flat against his head, Moonpelt's words weren't making him feel better, if anything, they were making him feel worse. He'd neglected his clan for a moon, and there was no way to make it up to them.
His thoughts must have shown a bit in his eyes, since Moonpelt asked, "What's wrong, Icepaw?"
"How can I make it up to my clanmates?" Icepaw questioned.
Moonpelt's eyes gleamed with happiness, "You can make it up by working extra hard and showing them that you still care; and you can start, by hunting for your clan!" He nudged Icepaw with his head, "Go hunt, I'll head back to camp and report that badger's den that you found. That was well scented, by the way."
Icepaw was stunned as Moonpelt headed back towards camp, he actually gave me a compliment!
Taking a deep breath, Icepaw looked around. Scenting the air, he started to follow the traces of blackbird that came to him on the breeze. When was the last time I was this focused for a hunt? He stumbled a couple times, leaves that hadn't been in the territory now coated the forest floor, and Icepaw was once more stunned at how out of touch he'd been with not only his clan, but everything around him.
No more, Icepaw thought, his blue eyes narrowed as he came upon the blackbird. Crouching low to the ground, he sprang, and the blackbird squawked in terror before Icepaw finished it off. Silently thanking StarClan as he lifted his head, the bird hanging from his crooked jaw, his eyes widened in surprise as he caught the sight of a white cat nodding in approval near the base of a tree before it faded from sight.
Whitestorm? Icepaw wondered, but he didn't dwell on the sight too long, burying the blackbird to pick up later and continuing his hunting.
Icepaw hunted all day, but his only show of his hard work was the blackbird he'd first caught, and a scrawny mouse. Feeling like he'd let the clan down even further, he set his catch on the fresh kill pile.
"Is that all you caught?" Moonpelt inquired as he padded up to him. "Not bad, but I know you can do better." Icepaw lowered his head. His mentor's gaze softened, "But I can tell that you tried your best, for once, so take some fresh kill and go eat with your friends."
Perking up a bit, Icepaw grabbed the scrawny mouse he'd caught, knowing it wouldn't make a good meal for any cat, so he might as well take it, and he paused, frowning as he remembered that his two friends Ashfall and Blazefoot were warriors and they ate with the other warriors. Where have I been eating recently? He couldn't recall eating with Honeypaw or Larkpaw, and he definitely didn't recall eating with his friends. Had he really wanted to isolate himself that badly?
Tentatively, he approached the sisters, hoping they'd let him join them, "Hey!" he meowed past the mouse.
"Hello, Icepaw," Honeypaw greeted him, licking her lips as she ate a mouse. Her tone was friendly enough.
Larkpaw's tone was just as welcoming, "Hey, Icepaw! Do you want to join us?"
"Sure," Icepaw agreed, lying down beside the two sisters.
"That's not much of a meal," Larkpaw commented as she sat up, licking her paw before she started to clean her face. "If you want, you can finish my pigeon."
"Thanks," Icepaw meowed past a mouthful of mouse.
Honeypaw touched her white forepaw to his own, "How are you doing since Hawkwing joined StarClan?"
"Didn't I tell you not to ask that?!" Larkpaw hissed. She turned kind eyes to Icepaw, "We're both very sorry for your loss. We didn't know him very well, but I'm sure he was a great mentor, especially since you're such a strong apprentice."
A pang of loss went through Icepaw again, but he pushed it down. He couldn't wallow in grief any longer. He had to stay strong for his clan. He just had to! "It's been hard getting used to a new mentor, but I think I'm back on track."
Both sisters smiled warmly at him. "Good," Larkpaw meowed.
Honeypaw added, "We would have said something sooner, but since we just joined the clan…"
Her sister finished for her, "We weren't sure it'd mean anything coming from two outsiders."
Icepaw licked his lips, having finished off Larkpaw's pigeon, "It means a lot coming from you two. I was an outsider myself not too long ago."
"How did you deal with all the distrust?" Larkpaw asked, her eyes filled with worry.
Icepaw took a few seconds to think. How had he dealt with it? "I guess…all I can say is do your best and show them that you're as good as any ThunderClan born cats."
Both sisters purred. "That's what we've been doing," Honeypaw mewed quietly. "And here I thought Bumblestripe was just trying to make me feel better!"
"How has Loudfang been?" Icepaw quietly asked Larkpaw.
Larkpaw smiled, "He's great! He's been teaching me so much! Even if I get something wrong he doesn't yell at me, just corrects me and lets me work things out!"
Huh, so he really does just hate me, Icepaw thought ruefully, managing to keep his thoughts hidden, "I'm glad to hear that!"
Purring, Larkpaw meowed, "Will you be sleeping in the den tonight, Icepaw? Leafbare is almost here. Cloudtail says he can feel it in his bones that it will arrive soon."
I've been sleeping outside? Icepaw was once again amazed at how little he'd been taking in his surroundings. Moonpelt had been right. Icepaw hadn't been himself, nor giving his best to his clan. "I think I will," he answered the dark tabby she-cat. More purring came from both sisters.
Amazed at how much the two she-cats still liked him even after how he must have ignored them, for what else would he have done while in his grief stricken daze? Icepaw got to his paws, realizing he'd neglected another important member of the clan. "I'll be back later. There are some things I still need to do."
"Okay, Icepaw," Honeypaw meowed. "See you later!"
Feeling embarrassed as he trotted towards the fresh kill pile, he grabbed the fattest piece of fresh kill he could find, a pigeon. As he was turning around to head to the Elders' Den, an angry voice demanded, "What are you doing?"
Fox dung! Icepaw thought as he dropped the pigeon to turn and face Loudfang, "I was going to take it to the Elders' Den."
Loudfang gazed at him for several long seconds, apparently thinking that Icepaw was trying to steal prey for himself. "All right. That'd better be where you take that.
With Loudfang's eyes on him, Icepaw picked up the pigeon once more and walked over to the Elders' Den, like he'd been intending to do the whole time. Grouchy furball. Icepaw thought, as he entered the Elders' Den. Even though Loudfang had accepted that Icepaw was a loyal ThunderClan cat, he still did not think highly of Icepaw. Icepaw felt that the feeling was mutual.
Several of the elders were already dousing, but the one he'd been hoping to see lifted his ginger head. "Icepaw? Is that you?" Emberpelt's blind gaze stared past Icepaw.
Feeling like the worst son in the word, he carefully picked his way around Cloudtail, Mousewhisker, and Berrynose, setting the pigeon down in front of his father. "Yeah, it's me," Icepaw said quietly.
A purr rumbled in Emberpelt's throat as he stood and rubbed his against Icepaw's. "You must be very busy with your apprentice duties. You'll have to tell me about what you've been doing when you have a spare moment."
Once again feeling like a terrible cat, Icepaw nodded, and then quickly said, "I will, Emberpelt."
Lying back down next to Cinderheart, Emberpelt meowed softly, "So many things are different here in ThunderClan, it's hard to get used to it all! Some things are the same in all clans though."
"Like what?" Icepaw questioned, sitting down carefully, mindful of Cloudtail's bushy tail nearby.
Emberpelt purred, "Like the kits always wanting stories and to be made apprentices the moment they realize what an apprentice is. Not to mention caring for the elders and queens of the camp." A wistfulness entered Emberpelt's tone and his blind gaze.
Anger towards WindClan for taking away Emberpelt's sight rose up yet again, but he quenched it. Getting mad at WindClan now wouldn't do any good. He'd save all his anger towards them for when they next fought; and there would be a next time. Especially after the recent loss they suffered at ThunderClan's paws.
"You need rest," Emberpelt stated, startling Icepaw out of his thoughts.
Embarrassed that he hadn't been paying attention to whatever else Emberpelt had said, Icepaw meowed, "Yeah, Moonpelt will probably want me up early for some patrol!"
Emberpelt purred, "Come see me again some time."
"I will, I promise," Icepaw meowed as he backed out of the den, suddenly feeling very claustrophobic. Getting into the open area of the hollow, he sighed. He couldn't fathom how Emberpelt stayed in the den for most of the day. A warrior who was used to such freedom and been reduced to relying on another cat constantly for any fresh air he wanted, and he could only go so far. I need to ask Moonpelt for one day off so I can take him out into our territory so he can feel the wind running through his pelt again.
Sighing, he gave into some of his sorrow again as he sat down, lowering his head. Ever since they'd left WindClan things had gone from bad to worse for his father, and Icepaw really didn't know what he could do to improve either of their situations. Glancing towards Foxstar's den, Icepaw had another disheartening thought, will Foxstar even make me a warrior? He'd noticed the distrustful looks the leader gave him.
Before he could start drowning in his sorrow's again, a familiar ginger pelt entered the camp and trotted over to him.
Making an effort to appear normal, Icepaw straightened up and lifted his head high. He wasn't supposed to be thinking about such things anymore. Not if he was to best serve his clan and help out his frieneds.
"Hey, Icepaw," Blazefoot meowed, trotting over to him.
"Hey, Blazefoot," Icepaw returned the greeting.
Blazefoot glanced towards the Nursery, "Dawnstep asked me to tell you that she wanted to see you the moment you had some free time on your paws."
Why do I get the feeling that he reworded everything she said? Icepaw nodded, "Thanks. I'd better go see her then!" Smiling, he trotted away from Blazefoot. He could feel his friend's gaze boring into his pelt, and he fought the urge to turn around and reassure him that he was fine. Words wouldn't soothe his friend's worries, for what else would Blazefoot, and even Ashfall, have with how he'd been acting recently? Plus, Icepaw wasn't all that sure if he was all right still…
Making his presence known in front of the Nursery, he entered carefully, knowing that Icecloud's four kits were probably asleep. He'd only gotten a couple pawsteps into the entrance when Dawnstep's, angry pale tabby face appeared, "We're not talking in here!"
Backing out quickly, wanting to be sure he was out of the way of the feisty she-cat's claws should she choose to use them. Icepaw sat down outside of the Nursery.
"Follow me," Dawnstep practically hissed.
Nervous now, Icepaw followed the still formidable queen, as she led the way out of the hollow. Even though she'd gained a bit of weight from the kits she was carrying, it didn't hinder her pace as she exited the camp.
After travelling for some distance, Icepaw was starting to worry about Dawnstep and how far she intended to go. The pale tabby she-cat had begun to pant as she continued to lead the way deeper and deeper into the forest. Just as he was about to suggest stopping, Dawnstep came to a halt and turned around to face him as she sat down, neatly curling her tail over her paws.
Cautiously, Icepaw sat down as well, though he remained tensed. Dawnstep looked like she wanted to fling herself at him and scratch his ears off.
Dawnstep's whiskers suddenly twitched in amusement, "Icepaw, I'm not going to claw you or anything."
Fighting back his sigh of relief, Icepaw meowed, "Could have fooled me."
"It doesn't mean I'm not upset with you!" Dawnstep's tone was close to a growl. "What is this that I've been hearing about you sulking about the camp and not performing your apprentice duties?! Do you think Hawkwing worked so hard to train you just to have you waste it?"
"No, but I…" Icepaw tried to defend his actions.
"No! You're right! So stop this self-pity act and get your act together!" Dawnstep snapped. The pale tabby got to her paws and started to walk towards Icepaw. As she started to pass him, she rested her tail on his shoulder, "Icepaw…I want to see you become the warrior that Hawkwing told me you'd be. I want to see it not only for myself, but to see it for him too…don't disappoint me." Dawnstep walked away then, heading back towards camp.
Shocked, Icepaw sat there rigidly for quite some time, the moon making its journey across the sky slowly but surely. Finally, the moon centered in the sky, Icepaw gave himself a shake as he got to his paws. Glancing the way he knew Dawnstep had taken back to camp he set out on a different course…for the WindClan border.
Knowing the way by heart, even after spending several moons with ThunderClan Icepaw wove his way through the forest until he came to the very edge of it. Without hesitating he made his way towards the border. Standing at the border, he sat down, gazing into the hills that he'd once called home. Swiftwind had been shown him the territory.
Grief overwhelmed him then as he lay down. Why was it that so much kept going wrong? So much had been lost. WindClan was no longer his clan even though the blood of Windstar herself flowed through his veins and the wind always called to him mockingly. He'd lost Swiftwind, a great mentor and friend to not only Emberpelt, but him as well. Emberpelt had been banished and then blinded by his birth clan. Icepaw's own mother, Flowerstep wouldn't even call him her son anymore. Trembling now, Icepaw hid his face in his paws. Then there was this great thing that had happened-ThunderClan had accepted them into their clan. Even though him and Emberpelt were WindClan, his mentor, Hawkwing hadn't judged him for his birth clan either, even when he'd caught him in this exact spot, gazing into WindClan territory longingly…
His trembling stopped then and he sat up. Defiantly, he stared into the hills. He had left his yearning for WindClan here several moons ago. Now it was time to leave his grief here as well. Yes, he'd lost and suffered much, but now he had to be strong for his clan. Leafbare was fast approaching and they would need all their warriors and apprentices to be strong, not wallowing in grief. Taking a deep breath, picturing all his grief, he breathed in and then exhaled slowly, imaging that all his grief was leaving his body. The night chill added to his imaginings as his breath billowed away from him. Getting to his paws, he gazed at the hills for one more second before he turned away. Icepaw would not return to this spot for a long time. Not until he had reason to. He was no longer a WindClan cat, nor was he the grief-stricken apprentice that he'd been. Now he was simply a ThunderClan apprentice ready to serve his clan.
