The stripper was jiggling her tits right in Stan's face. Rick had paid her extra to give Stan the 'up close and personal' treatment. Stan should have been in a better mood, he had a pretty half-naked woman gyrating very close to him with a nice rack. He only managed to just get a chubby. He sighed, gave her some of the money he'd been provided to tip with and waved her away. He heard a woman giggle at the other end of the club and turned his head. Rick had three strippers gathered around him, two on his lap and one sitting at a table, all laughing at some joke. A choking rage filled Stan, there was no explanation for it, he wanted to rip those women away from Rick and… and what?

They weren't together, besides he told himself, he liked girls. He was not really into Rick Sanchez, except when completely wasted. But he hated those girls on Rick's lap with a passion that was scary and confusing. Maybe it was because Rick was ugly: gawky, tall, with a unibrow and wild hair he never combed, yet girls all fell for him. Maybe what Stan needed was to be balls deep in some chick, maybe just being teased by a stripper wasn't enough. He knew he was attractive, he was still in pretty good shape. Okay, so he didn't have the rock hard stomach he did when he boxed… maybe he was little soft around the edges… but he was a cool guy, who knew how to please a girl. So why did Rick have all the luck and he didn't? Also why did he hate the girls for being close to Rick rather the reverse?

That night he left the strip club, pulled the collar up on his leather jacket and sullenly walked back to the warehouse.

Stan was watching a midnight movie on the tv when he heard the warehouse door slam. Rick marched up and stood in front the tv.

"W-WHAT the fuck STAN?!" He yelled. "We're supposed to party tonight why the f-f-fuck did you pussy out on me! You're NOT allow to puss out!"

"I just wasn't feeling it tonight," Stan grumbled. "Can't a guy catch a break?"

Rick strode over to Stan, bent over him and gripped by the lapels, Rick had an odd wiry strength that Stan wasn't expecting when Rick lifted Stan off his feet.

"No." Rick growled. "I told you the rules when you got here, you stay here because I let you. Now get off your ass, and let's have some fun."

Stan broke out of Rick's grip and turned away. "It ain't fair! You look like a nerd and yet all the skirts are swarming around you! It's no fun!"

"It's called charm Stan," Rick said. "I know how to talk to the ladies. You h-have problems. Look I'll do you a favor, tomorrow when we hit the town… I'll help you p-pick up a chick right?"

Stan turned back, they probably both needed to get laid real bad. He knew he did but he never was as smooth with the women as he'd like to be. "Yeah, thanks."

"Hey that's what f-f-friends are for, right Punchy?" Rick said.

"Yeah," Stan sighed.

"I'm going back out," Rick said. "Don't wait up."

"Okay," Stan said, trying to sound as if he didn't care.

The next morning Stan awoke to a virtually silent warehouse this meant it was one of the rare mornings that he'd woken up before Rick. Stan having slept in his boxers threw the blanket off his body, he stood up, stretching and scratching. The world was blurry, he'd put in his contacts after his shower, it would get clearer, but he could see enough to get around. He walked up the shaky staircase, heart in his throat, he hated that thing but it was the only way up to Rick's bedroom and beyond to the bathroom. He opened the door and found Rick passed out on the unmade bed, drooling in his sleep. Stan paused, took a pen off the nightstand and drew a dick on Rick's forehead or as close to one as he could without his contacts… Rick didn't stir. Stan chuckled quietly and moved into the bathroom. Rick bragged about how he'd done all the work for this whole room himself. Well Stan didn't think it was anything to write home about. The sink was one of those plastic laundromat tub ones, with a basic hanger on the wall with a mirror/medicine cabinet combo above it. The toilet wobbled and constantly gurgled in an odd way. As for the shower, well it was just a tiled corner of the room with a drain in the center where a set of pipes plus shower head were riveted to the far right wall. It would groan, shake, sputter and squeak when it was turned on to high or really on at all. He took off his boxers, itched his hairy chest… he considered his body; chest was okay, nice abs and a manly amount of body hair, he was starting to get a bit of pudge in the belly area, arms were pretty good, so were his legs and… well the bit between his legs was much better than average.

He turned the shower knob for hot, took a step back as he heard the hot water heater churn, thunk, and clunk below. The water would be boiling, reaching through the curtain of hot water he turned the other knob for cold. Now it would be too cold, he adjusted the hot knob… dipped a toe in… and yes it was perfect. He stepped into the stream of water. As he lathered up, he sang to himself, not loud enough to be heard over the shower really but it made him happy. The warm soapy water relaxed him, he considered masturbating… he needed it, though lately his hand had been his only romantic companion. That blow job was three weeks ago now, all they'd done since then had been dry humping and grab-ass when they were wasted.. which really was about as far as he wanted to go with Rick, right? Because neither one of them was gay and Stan was sure that despite Rick's skills in the blow job department… he, Stanford Pines would take any woman no matter how old over any guy even one he found attractive and Rick wasn't… well he wasn't conventionally attractive.

"Mornin' Palooka."

Stan leapt as he heard Rick's gravelly voice, near him. He turned, Rick was naked and standing in the shower. Stan found himself staring at the other man, Rick still had the pen drawing of a dick on his forehead, but his body was slim and angular it was easy to see his ribs and the jut of his hip bones. His skin was naturally tanned and smooth unlike Stan's, Rick also only had hair on his head and down by his groin, speaking of which Stan was acutely aware of Rick's dangling cock.

"What are you doing here?" Stan asked blinking.

"Showering with a friend to save water," Rick said sarcastically. "What do you THINK I'm doing?"

"Being a pervy drunk," Stan replied.

"Right, only I'm not that drunk," Rick moved very close to Stan. "…not yet…"

"Well, I need to be drunk for this…" Stan muttered, that was a lie, because of the warm tingly feeling in his groin, he knew he was starting to get an erection.

"S-s-so you like what you see?" Rick smirked. " You're a grower and show-er… nice."

Stan wanted to protest make up some lie but as he opened his mouth Rick slipped up next to him and silenced him with a kiss. Rick tasted like booze and vomit but his mouth was insistent and the feeling of his lips welcome. Stan felt the other man's long thin fingers wrap around his erection, it felt welcome and blissful. He let out a small moan, reaching out he slid his hand around the other man's cock. Rick let out a sigh of contentment as Stan felt Rick's cock grow and swell under his fingers. Rick's strokes were slow and languid at first, but then they got quick and forceful. Stan increased his pace with Ricks. They kissed like hungry beasts devouring each other. Then Rick whispered in Stan's ear:

"Fuck me."

Stan pulled away giving Rick a look of shock and confusion, he shook his head and walked out of the shower. grabbing a clean towel from a hook on the wall he dried himself. Rick was looking at him sullenly.

"Look, Rick foolin' around is one thing but …but fucking another man is not my cup of tea." Stan said. "Or being fucked by one either."

Rick took a step forward. "Whoa, whoa c'mon Palooka, you were enjoying yourself. Why not just lighten up and have some fun?"

"I'm not —not," Stan struggled with his mouth Rick and raised his unibrow and gave him a look of irritated disbelief. "—I only do that with ladies!"

"W-w-what's your hang up, Stan? A hole is just a hole…and I'm the one who'd take the pounding." Rick commented.

Rick turned off the shower and glided towards Stan. "We both need this…" He was getting closer and closer, hands up raised to touch Stan's shoulders.

Doubt trickled through Stan's mind, maybe Rick was right. He did find the skinny freak attractive, and it wasn't like Stan would be the one getting it up the ass. But a stronger, angrier inner voice interceded. No, this was too far! He couldn't cross that line and consider himself a 100% red blooded macho guy! And with that Stan fled the bathroom, ran down the stairs outside the bedroom and down to the couch.

At breakfast neither one said anything, Rick drank his coffee. Stan sat there playing five finger fillet with a dull chef's knife, stabbing the table hard over and over again he couldn't meet Rick's eyes.

"Stop that! It's getting on my last nerve!" Rick shouted.

Stan glared at him but put the knife down. "I'm not gonna stick my dick up your ass."

Rick rolled his eyes. "You don't have too, Stan."

"And I'm NOT letting you put your dick up my ass. I've been to the doctor's and if it's anything like that mess—" Stan started.

Rick gave a frustrated growl. "We both need a good screw. H-Handies, necking, and dry humping isn't e-e-enough for you or me, Punchy."

"So we hit the town tonight and pick up a floozy each, that'll solve our problems." Stan said.

Rick raised his unibrow. "Sure, if you say so."

Stan looked his best for that night: contacts in, hair slicked back with product, a dab of after-shave, gold chain around his neck, wide collared shirt with the buttons undone revealing the gold chain and very sexy chest hair, tight jeans with a gold buckled belt, and his trusty leather jacket. He'd be a lady killer tonight. Even Rick made a slight effort he wore a brown sueded leather jacket instead of a lab coat, didn't smell quite as much of chemicals as he usually did and maybe his hair looked like he had attempted to brush it. So they went out on the town, where there were lots of pretty ladies. Stan used his best pick up lines, all of them went bust. He shelled out money for drinks, they'd thank him for the drinks and talk to someone else! He lit cigarettes for them! He listened to women talk about their pets, hometowns and other crap, but it didn't get him any closer to getting them naked. However Rick, who still looked like a belligerent stick insect, was getting all sorts of attention. all he would do was sidle up to a chick, say something about her hair, and soon she'd be laughing at his jokes and touching his shoulder. Stan didn't like it, the women were all over Rick! Usually the girl would have some ditzy friend, and Rick would call Stan over. He and the friend would make awkward small talk while Rick was busy charming the other chick. Once in a while it seemed like the friend would be digging on him. But those girls weren't… well Stan didn't want them they weren't as pretty or had the wrong hair color or … just never Stan's type, really. His eyes would wander over to Rick…!

Rick laughing at something or making some remark his tousled dark hair and…. it was always him, why!? Stan didn't even think about it really, the guy should be such a nerd, but he wasn't! Then Rick would whisper something to the chick and the lady would look at both of them, shake her head or once slap the lady slapped Rick.

It was getting towards the end of the night. Stan had nearly given up hope, he was never gonna get laid! They had just walked into a bar called Connelly's, there was a cutie sitting at the bar, blonde, petite and curvy. Turning to look at them, she smiled and winked.

"Aw, here we go again," Stan sighed.

"She was looking at you Stan," Rick said. "Go get her."

"Really?"

Stan grinned as he ran a hand through his hair and swaggered up her.

"Hey you like what you see, doll?" He said.

"You bet I do, handsome!" She said with a laugh. "I'm Brenda."

She stuck out her hand. He took it gently. "Nice to meet you, Brenda. They call me Stan."

"Oooh you got such big hands!" She cooed.

She put her palm to his and his fingers dwarfed her petite digits.

"Heh, thanks." He said. "So what are you up tonight?"

"Me? I just wanna have some fun," She said smiling at him.

He took the stool beside her. She liked him! She was flirting! This was going well, and yet he looked over at Rick at the end of the bar. Rick nodded and mouthed: 'go for it.'

"You wanna have fun with me, then?" Stan asked.

She replied with a snorting laugh. "You read my mind Stan."

He told the corniest joke he could think of, Brenda laughed like he was a comedy star. During which she put a hand on his arm and gave a squeeze.

"You like?" He asked smiling.

"Oooh you got muscles!" She enthused. "I like it."

"Yeah," he said with air of nonchalance. "I used to box."

"Wow, thats so sexy," She said.

"Well I try to keep in shape," He said.

"Show me some moves Stan." She said.

He did a quick one-two punch in the air, away from her.

She squealed with delight. That was more like it! He looked over at Rick… who was smoking a cigarette at the other end of the bar.

Why did he care what Rick thought? He flirted with Brenda some more, soon he'd ask her to go home with him. Maybe Rick would let him use the bed? How would he explain that he lived in freakin' warehouse, would she even come with him?

"Hey," Rick had sidled over next to Brenda. "I see you got yourself a babe, Stan."

Brenda turned to Stan. "He a friend of yours?"

Stan gave a nervous glance at Rick. "Uhh, yeah."

Rick introduced himself laying on the charm. Brenda turned to him, rapt as Rick talked, laughing at his jokes. Anger and disappointment started bubbling inside of Stan, how dare he steal…

Then Rick asked; "You seem like a pretty cool chick, B-B-Brenda, I was wondering do you.. swing?"

She scrunched up her face. "What do you mean by swing?"

Rick looked at Stan, smirked and then whispered in Brenda's ear. She blushed and giggled. "What, you mean… both of you?"

Stan blinked, he hid his shock though, did Rick just ask the girl… for…?

"Yeah so you cool, honey? Rick asked.

She looked from Rick to Stan. "Yeah, I'm cool. Sounds fun!"

Rick ordered all of them another round. With the additional alcohol in his system Stan began to adjust to the idea of sharing a girl with Rick. If she wanted both of them, it could be a great time. They would take turns right? Stan glanced nervously at Rick, who simply smirked.

After the drink they took a cab back to the docks. Brenda was between them looping her arms around both their waists, her hands went lower and Stan jumped as she squeezed his ass.

He smiled and said: "Heh Heh, frisky, I like that."

Rick winked at him over her head. This was going to be sweet, she didn't even seem to mind when they entered the warehouse. She just looked around and commented: "Cool digs, guys! Now where's the bathroom? I have to pee."

Rick pointed up at the staircase: "G-go through the bedroom, you can't miss it."

. She tripped up the stairs with obviously eagerness, they followed.

Rick turned on the table lamp on the dresser. He shucked his jacket, shirt, pants, and briefs quickly. Stan followed suit, removing all his clothes with ease. Rick was standing on the other side of the double bed, smiling and itching his left side. Nothing special, but Stan felt the lust swell inside of him. A revelation hit him like a freight train; he didn't want to share this man, and he sure and as hell didn't want whats-her-name. He lunged over the bed and seized Rick by the face. He kissed him furiously and deeply. In an instant Rick had his arms around him, responding to the kiss with a zeal that Stan didn't expect. The feeling of Rick's skin against his, his hand tangling through Rick's messy hair, the scent of his cologne and sweat, it just increased his desire. He needed this man. He grabbed Rick by his slight waist and pulled him onto the bed. Rick's hands were wrapped around his hardening cock and his lips were against the skinny bastards' own. It was then that Brenda came out of the bathroom.

"Heehee looks like you two started without me… " She began, then as seconds ticked by. "Can I get a piece of that…?" As they ignored her and kept at it. "Fine! I know when I'm not wanted!"

She left, she was crying. Stan didn't care, he had Rick his arms hot and sweaty and his, just his for now. Rick didn't seem to care that she either.

"Fuck me," He whispered. "N-N-no backing out."

"I don't wanna back out," Stan murmured.

Now all he wanted was to take that thin body before him, slip into that ass and posses him. Rick was laid on his back, his cock erect, grinning up at him, spread out, eager, ready?

"Give me a minute, Punchy," Rick said. 'I need to get something. We can't just fuck like this."

"Why not?" Stan asked, he was hard and aching for the other man.

"Y-y-you're pretty big, I need to prepare." Rick said.

He rolled over and crawled towards his makeshift nightstand (two stacked milk crates, naturally). He reached in and pulled out a tube of K-Y. He squirted some out onto his fingers and rubbed it on his hole. He gave a relaxed sigh and rolled onto his stomach, then hunched his knees under him.

Stan hovered over him, waiting as Rick got into position. Stan tried thrusting into the other man, he heard Rick's breath hitch, then another sigh. He tried again and this time he slid into him easily, the other man gasped. He was so tight! So hot! It felt amazing. He started off gently, not wanting to hurt him, or worse end up at a hospital with an embarrassing story for the doctors to snicker about. Experimenting, he tried one hard thrust. He shoved his whole length into that tight pucker, Rick moaned.

"Is that good?" he asked, unsure about this whole setup, maybe he was doing it wrong.

"T-t-that's perfect, rough and fast just the way I like it. Also could you jerk me off while you fuck me?" Rick said.

He took his hand and wrapped it around the other man's member, starting off again, hard and fast, thrusting into that tightness, filling it and hearing the slight grunts and moans that indicated Rick's pleasure. It was triumphant, it was glorious, it was ecstasy and he was loving every second of it. His hand keeping pace with the thrusts, Rick would grind into him, and that bumped up the sensation even more. He groaned and gripped the other man's hips, the feeling was starting to crest… he didn't want to… he needed to keep going. He rubbed Rick's cock harder as his rhythm faltered, as the feeling grew overwhelming and he came. He remained hard for enough time to finish off Rick, who orgasmed thickly and messily. Then he pulled out and collapsed on the bed, Rick wiping himself down with a kleenex.

"…OH! You… That… I…" Stan wanted to say something but his heart was thudding and his body still pulsed with pleasure but words didn't come as the afterglow was still so strong. Rick curled up next to him, licking and sucking his own jizzum off Stan's fingers and hand.

Rick smiled. "I knew this was a good plan."

Stan puzzled over what that meant for a minute, before flinging his hairy arm over the scrawny freak's body and pulling him close. He ran his fingers over Rick's chest, counting the ribs he could feel. Rick snuggled close, pulling the blanket from under them and then over them. Soon they were both snoring, fast asleep beneath a cheap awful blanket and dirty sheets.