Abuse trigger warning


The sound of heavy feet making their way up the stairs woke Marlene early that next morning. She shifted around under her blanket, hoping she could ignore the muffled cursing. As the noise got louder, she realized there was no way she was going to sleep through it.

It was probably her father. He tended to get home late from wherever he went after work. Usually he took more care to be quiet. Then again, usually he came home around eleven not two-thirty. Not for the first time, Marlene wondered if he was having an affair. It wouldn't be that strange if he were. Pureblood families had affairs all the time. It still didn't sit right with Marlene.

She buried her head in her pillow.


Marlene was sitting on a bed in the Gryffindor boys' room, wrapped in a flannel blanket. She was aware of the cold room seeping through the blanket, and the muffled sounds coming from the bathroom. She felt the dried tear tracks on her face and the pressure in her sinuses. There she sat, under the blanket, in a torn skirt and her bra. Maybe if she hadn't left the great hall when she did none of this would even have happened. Maybe if she had possessed some damn forethought before getting herself into this mess.

She hadn't meant for any of it. It was all about her family, and she knew that. She knew that she was using these boys, and that it was never going to turn out well. Sirius showing up when he did was pure luck.

"McKinnon?" At the call of her name, she looked towards the bathroom. Sirius was standing in the doorway, clenching his fists. "I need you to be honest with me."

Marlene swallowed. "I can't."

"McKinnon."

"McKinnon? McKinnon, come on, wake up." A voice drifted through her dreams, or was it a memory? Maybe both. "Don't make me sit on you."

Marlene groaned.

"I will sit on you."

She frowned. It sounded like Sirius. She hoped it wasn't, though it really couldn't be anyone else. The day before had been extremely confusing, and she didn't want to think about the side of him she'd seen. And she definitely didn't want to think about how that side made her feel. Obviously she cared about Sirius, that wasn't the issue, but having him as a friend that she could occasionally make out with when they were bored or lonely was completely different from the hurricane-in-her-stomach she was experiencing now. Feelings would make the whole arrangement fall apart. Merlin, she didn't even want to think about it. The difference between them snogging in the living room versus the kiss she pressed to his palm yesterday was palpable.

There was suddenly a heavy weight on her that interrupted her thoughts, and she felt her breath rush out. Her eyes snapped open to find Sirius sprawled on top of her. "What are you doing?"

"Waking you up," He stretched. "Your father has requested you down before breakfast."

"Why?" Marlene pushed at him.

"He didn't say." Sirius sat up, offering a hand to Marlene. She took it, dropping it as quickly as she could, the memory from the day before still bothering her.

Marlene yanked on a pair of pants and a shirt, not bothering to make Sirius leave. No matter how weird the other day had been, she was never uncomfortable undressing in front of Sirius. He never made her feel awkward, and was polite enough to look elsewhere during. She pulled her hair back into a ponytail. Anxiety bubbled up inside her, thinking about the hundred different things her father could want her down there for. Marlene stopped as she reached for the doorknob, feeling Sirius' eye her curiously.

"Mar, you alright?" He placed his hand on her shoulder. "Marlene?"

"Marlene," The seriousness in his tone made her stomach clench uncomfortably.

"I-fine,"

"Have you been seeing Diggory?" She didn't say a word. "Please tell me, because I'm going mad over here."

"Kind of," Marlene squeezed her eyes shut. "Not just him. A lot of people."

Sirius looked sharply at her. "You're scaring me."

"I-I'm sorry, Sirius." She pulled the blanket tighter.

"So you've been fucking half the school." He stood and began pacing in front of her.

"Sirius, please,"

"Half the school, unsafely."

"Sirius,"

He stopped to look at her. "You're going to end up pregnant or dead, Marlene."

"You're saying that this is my fault?"

"Marlene, hey," Marlene found herself being spun around to face Sirius. Her hands were clenched in fists in front of her, and she had the overwhelming urge to drop to the floor and cry. The memory echoing was echoing through her head, and she found it nearly impossible to focus.

"I-I'm okay." She said.

"Are you sure?" Sirius placed his hands on either side of her face. He rubbed his thumbs across her cheekbones, wiping away tears she didn't even know were there.

Marlene nodded. "Let's go."

She wrapped a hand around one of his, using it to lead him out of the room. Walking down the stairs to the kitchen took an eternity. At some point, Sirius hand had left hers in favor of resting at her hip. When she hesitated just before the kitchen doorway, he began to rub comforting circles against her hip. Marlene's eyes fluttered shut, and she leaned against him. Something in those seconds of him holding her caused her courage to surge up. She was a Gryffindor, damn it.

"Da?" She called, walking with Sirius into the kitchen.

Her father was seated at the table, Daily Prophet open in front of him. He looked up at Marlene, bags only slightly noticeable underneath his eyes. He gestured for her to sit in the chair to his right without saying a word. Marlene glanced at Sirius, and then went. As Sirius began to follow her, her father cut in.

"We won't be needing your presence, Black." Was all he said.

"I'd much rather stay." Sirius frowned.

"Please leave,"

Sirius looked as if he were about to argue again, but a subtle shake of the head from Marlene told him he should comply. Silently, and with a rude look at Mr. McKinnon, Sirius left the room. Marlene felt his absence very acutely as she took her seat. Expecting her father to begin talking as soon as she sat, she remained silent. But he didn't say a word. Eventually the silence became too much for Marlene, and she cleared her throat.

"You wanted to speak with me?"

"Yes," He nodded. "About your behavior during the term, and yesterday with your sister."

Marlene swallowed.

"You're representing this family poorly," He continued. "We sent you to Hogwarts for an education, not for-for boys and interloping. You are meant to carry on this family's reputation and heritage, and I have to find out you are fighting in the corridors, skipping classes, and spending time with bloodtraitors and mudbloods-"

"Don't call them that!"

"Do not speak out of turn." Her father snapped. "It was against my better judgment to send you to that school in the first place; instead of homeschooling you like your brothers. I allow you to live here, and come home during holidays. And then I hear that you assaulted your sister yesterday evening!"

"I didn't-"

"Marlene Rosaline!"

Marlene clamped her mouth shut, with a muffled apology.

"You attacked your sister," Her father stood, leaning over her. "Then when she attempts to fight back, your attack dog of a boyfriend begins to assault her as well. I refuse to have this kind of behavior from you. You will behave like a lady, or I will be forced to punish you."

"Living in this house is punishment enough." Marlene muttered.

"That is it, young lady." Her father wrenched her up by her arm.

He yanked her towards the back door, ignoring her protests of pain. Marlene looked towards the kitchen door, shouting for Sirius because no one else in the house would even dare to help her. She shouted for him as her father dragged her outside. She thought maybe she heard him yell back. The cold bite of frost on her feet drew her attention to the broom shed getting closer and closer. Once there, her father wrenched the door open, and shoved her inside. He then drew his wand hurling spells at her. She tried to keep memory of the ones he said so she could more easily reverse them later, but once he went nonverbal, all she could do was cry.

Marlene thought she heard a Crucio thrown in.

Maybe she did deserve it. Her father had warned her again and again to behave. Her acting out was mainly to spite her mother, but wasn't it really a huge middle finger to the whole family? She was the only one that her parents seemed to have a problem with. Even Margaret, who was most like Marlene, had never received this sort of punishment. Another curse hit her in the stomach, and she tried to imagine she was somewhere else. She was at Lily's house, enjoying their summer. Lily would make cakes with her, sneaking in a spell here or there, and ignoring the Ministry letter that came later, warning her to stop using magic outside of Hogwarts. They would laugh together, and Marlene could pretend that she wasn't a McKinnon for a few weeks.

Marlene slowly became aware that her father was no longer cursing her, and she was lying alone and cold on the shed's stone flooring. She knew she was shaking, but was too weak to even stand. Numbly she felt a pair of warm hands gently prodding her into a sitting position, and then lifting her into their arms. Opening her eyes slightly, she caught Sirius' familiar jaw line. She held it together all the way back into the eerily silent house, and up to Sirius' room. He placed her on the bed, and Marlene used what little strength she did have to pulls Sirius down next to her. He obeyed, sitting and letting Marlene curl herself up against him.

It was then that she cried that she truly let the broken, vulnerable sobbing out. She knew she was talking, probably muttering complete nonsense to Sirius. In her half delirium, she thought she heard him whispering back to her. She couldn't be sure, and maybe it was just her head, but she could swear she heard the words 'I love you' fall out of his mouth. But maybe they didn't. Even if he said them, it's not like he meant them the romantic way. He was her best friend, of course he loved her.

"You're saying that this is my fault?" She jumped up to face him, toe to toe. Without shoes their height difference was slightly more pronounced.

"Of course not." Sirius scoffed. "But McKinnon, you barely even fought back!"

"It's not my fault Diggory-" She tried not to flinch at his name. "Came at me like he did."

"Mar,"

"No, don't 'Mar' me!" She fought back the resurfacing tears. "This is not my fault. He was waiting for me, and then he was on me. I couldn't-I couldn't get him off. It's not like I bloody asked him to-to, well, you know. Promiscuity isn't an excuse for... what he tried."

"I didn't-" Sirius exhaled. "I'm sorry."

They stood there a moment, before Marlene sat back down, tucking her legs underneath her. Sirius sat next to her, and squeezed her hand. "My parents can't know."

"Marlene,"

"They can't." She looked at him desperately. "They're blood purists. My da would say I should have let him. H-he'll try to force me to go back to Diggory. He would-he'd... I can't... I can't spend holiday alone. Maybe Lily will let me stay with her..."

"I'll go home with you."

"Really?"

"If you want."

"Sirius Black, I ruddy love you!"

She had fallen asleep at some point. Upon waking up, Marlene found herself tucked securely under Sirius blankets. There was no aching or soreness she usually associated with her father's punishments; so she assumed Sirius had healed her. The empty potion vials being evidence of that. She felt a very strong surge of affection for him, when she spotted him and-surprisingly-Margaret sleeping in chairs against the wall. Sirius' head was dangling over the arm of the chair, and he was snoring lightly. Margaret was using a potions book as a pillow. Sitting up slowly, Marlene felt the world shift just slightly, and she had the sudden urge to be sick. She grabbed the bin, conveniently located at the side of Sirius' bed.

"That'll be the healing potions." Came a tired remark from Sirius. He shifted in the chair, stretching and cracking his back. "Feeling alright?"

"Better than before," Marlene shrugged, wiping her mouth. "When did you give me healing potions?"

"You were half conscious." Sirius smiled, moving to sit by Marlene on the bed. "Since I'm rubbish at potions, I got Maggie to help. She's a good one."

"Yeah, I know." Marlene was staring at Sirius. The way he was looking at her and smiling, like he was finally relaxing. Had he spent the whole time worrying about her until he fell asleep? Had he even fallen asleep, or was he pretending for her sake? She wanted to thank him, but the words themselves felt empty. So she reached up to him, taking his face in her hands, and pressing her lips to his. It was a completely sweet kiss, and Marlene didn't miss the way Sirius relaxed even more. He grabbed at the fabric at her waist, holding her both gently and firmly, if that was even possible.

"Oh, gross,"

The two broke away, but just barely. Marlene glanced over and saw Margaret had woken up. She stuck her tongue out. "Could you two not snog while I'm sleeping? That feels a little creepy."

Sirius chuckled lightly, intertwining his fingers with Marlene's. "Well you'll only have to deal with it until we leave tomorrow."

"Right," Margaret rolled her eyes. "Because you have your Special Sixth Year Christmas Party."

"Oh, right," Marlene slapped her hand against her forehead. "That's tomorrow. And we still have to get Lily. I need to get dressed and packed and-" Marlene had started to get up, but Sirius just wrapped his arms around her waist. He pulled her from her half-standing-half-kneeling position into his lap. She instantly relaxed, which set off warning bells in her head. She was in too deep... but it seemed like he was too.

He was staring at her with thinly masked worry. "We've got time,"

"I'd rather not rush, like some people, Sirius 'I Do Everything Last Minute' Black." Marlene rolled her eyes, standing, but not really moving out of Sirius' arms. He didn't let go either, choosing instead to just let his hands rest at her hips.

"Well at least let me help you."

"I can do it myself."

"Please, Marlene," He rubbed his hands up and down her sides.

"Fine," Her voice didn't sound quite right.

Without paying much mind to the gagging noises Margaret was making, Marlene waltzed out of Sirius' room and down the hall towards hers. She visibly flinched when she passed her parents' room; Sirius grabbed her hand a second later. It wasn't soon enough that they got to her room.

Packing was easy enough, since all Marlene needed was clothes for Christmas Day and pajamas. It wasn't hard to pick out a sweater and some pants. She didn't have to coordinate pajamas, and underwear wasn't an issue either. So relatively it took maybe ten minutes to pack, and Marlene started to think maybe Sirius had been right when he said they had time. Still, she didn't feel like eating much or going back to sleep. She sat on the edge of her bed, bag near the door.

She must have looked odd, because soon Sirius was sitting beside her. "Are you sure you're okay, Marlene?"

"It's not the first time that he's-so, yeah, I think I'll be fine."

"You don't seem fine."

"Well then I will be." She sighed.

There was a beat of silence.

"Sirius?"

He hummed.

"Stay with me tonight?"

"Of course."

And he did. After dinner that night-which they both skipped, but knew was happening due to the noise-Sirius left her to change into his pajamas. Marlene changed into hers, but twiddled with her thumbs nervously until he came back. This wasn't too much was it? She wasn't overstepping her bounds by asking him. It wasn't going to be awkward; she just... needed the physical comfort. She needed it, and he wasn't complaining.

Sirius came back, and they climbed into bed together. Her back pressed against his front, and his arms wound around her middle. She grabbed hold of his right arm and cuddled it against her. Right then, she felt safe and at home. Right there in that moment, in her room strewn with quidditch posters and old school books, with Sirius' arms around her, she could finally ignore every awful feeling she'd felt that day. And she did.


A/N- Sorry for the long wait on this one too. I'm also uploading this practically unbeta'd, so I apologize for any mistakes or inconsistencies. That was my first time trying to write abuse, so I hope I portrayed it well. If I didn't, you can always message me and I'll touch up what I can. (Especially with Marlene after. I was trying to get across that it doesn't really phase her too much anymore because it's something that's happened for a long time, but I'm not sure if it came across well.)

Happy Holidays!