Chapter 4
One Final Confrontation
At the most Arnold only got about half an hour of sleep when his alarm clock was buzzing at five a.m. sharp. Almost on instinct he reached over and reset if for another hour. Again, at the top of the hour his alarm was buzzing telling him to get up and start his day. However, today is not like any other day. As he sits on the edge of his bed he stares out the window. The air looks cold and the weather is dark and cloudy. It looks like it might rain later. As he turns from the window to his nightstand Arnold does the same thing that he always does on this day every year. He picks up the phone and dials a number. Slowly it rings a few times before someone answers.
"Hello." The voice says to him.
"Hey Johnny it's me."
"Hey Arnold, what's up?"
"Not much."
"I'm just calling to let you know I'm not coming into work today."
"Okay, let me just mark it down."
"And today is…"
There's a small break of silence over the phone.
"Oh…I see."
"Yeah."
"Alright, well I'll let the dean know."
"Thanks Johnny."
"You're welcome."
"Hey Arnold."
"Yeah."
"Take care of yourself today, okay."
"Thanks man."
"I'll see you tomorrow."
"See ya Arnold."
Arnold replaces the phone back on its cradle. Though he may have originally majored in anthropology, when Helga passed away Arnold decided to go back to school to get his teaching degree so he could stay closer to Helen. He turns his gaze back to the window. He takes a few minutes to ponder over the events that happened during the night. Helga's visit to him in the early hours of the morning and the message she had for him.
*What did she mean last night?*
*Let what go?*
Pushing it to the back of his mind he gets up to begin his day. Just like the previous day he just threw on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt and donned his robe as he left his room and headed for the kitchen. As he entered he noticed that not even Helen was up yet. Either that or she was getting herself ready. Turning on the stove he was soon busy making breakfast, nothing too extravagant, just some bacon eggs and sausage. He cooked enough for himself and his Daughter and soon made himself a plate. Walking toward the table he set his plate down to get the morning paper off the stoop. As he settles down at the table he began eating and flipping through the paper. No news of any real particular interest or excitement so he was slow to read it at first. Ten minutes go by without any distractions when all of sudden on one of the last pages of the paper, a single headline catches his attention. He reads the headline and article very closely and carefully. As he reads it he slowly grows very angry and lets out a grunt of rage as he slams the paper on the table, leaving it in its crumpled place. The room silent he thinks to himself.
*Why is he getting out today.*
A few more minutes go by before Helen walks in. She's still dressed her PJ's.
"Morning Dad."
"Morning Helen."
"What's for breakfast?"
"It's on the stove."
"Thanks Dad."
"You're welcome."
Helen fixes her food and sits down beside him. She looks over at the wrinkled paper and then up at her Father. He still has a suppressed look of anger on his face. She wants to ask him about it but she figures its best not to.
"Did you sleep okay last night?" Arnold asks her.
"For the most part, yeah, I did."
"Good, so how's school going?"
"It's going pretty good."
"I don't have any problems with any of the work."
"That's good to know honey."
"You got anything planned for today Dad?"
"Not really, I'm not going to work today."
"You're not?"
"No."
"Not today sweetie."
"Yeah, I know."
"You know you don't have to go to school today if you don't want to."
"No, that's okay Dad."
"I'll be fine."
"Alright, if you say so Helen."
As they resume eating Helen notices that her Dad is slow to finish his food.
"You okay Dad?"
Arnold looks up from his plate at his Daughter. In his mind he's trying to find the best response so as not to worry her.
"Yeah, I'm fine sweetheart."
"You sure?"
"Yeah I'm just a little tired is all."
"You don't need to worry about me."
Helen knows her Father well enough to know when he's not okay, but she doesn't argue with him about it. All finished with her food she gets up and lays her hand on his shoulder.
"Okay, but promise me you'll tell me if something bothering you."
"I will."
Arnold looks up at her and kisses her hand. He knows she's just trying to help.
"I promise princess."
"Good, cause you shouldn't hold things in like that Dad."
"I know kiddo, I know."
She places her dishes in the sink and starts to leave the kitchen.
"I'm gonna go get dressed."
"I'll be here if you need anything."
Alone in the kitchen again he turns his attention back to the wrinkled paper on the table. He doesn't turn back to the story but he can still clearly read it in his head. This only angers him further. Turning away from the paper he rests his head in his hands and contemplates over last night's events. A few minutes later his train of thought is broken as Helen returns to the kitchen. Arnold is stunned by how she looks. She's wearing an old pair of jeans, her hair is in a ponytail, she has on a long sleeve purple shirt and a pink t-shirt over that, and an old pair of sneakers. But what he is stunned at the most is the fact that she is wearing Helga's black wool cap. With the rest of her outfit, she looks just like Helga when she was in high school. Just before she picks up her bag she looks up at her Dad and sees a single tear running down his cheek.
"What's wrong Dad?"
Arnold reaches up to wipe the tear away.
"Sorry Helen."
"It's just…"
"Just what?"
Arnold is trying his best to fight his tears.
"It's just, when I look at you…"
"Dressed like that…"
"What is it?"
"When I look at you…I see your Mother."
Helen has tears welling up in her eyes as well hearing her Father say this.
"You look just like her sweetie."
Helen very carefully walks over and hugs her still seated Father. Arnold hugs her back with all his strength.
"I miss her Dad."
"I know you do Helen."
"And if she could be here today she would be so proud of you."
Helen says nothing but hugs Arnold's neck as tight as she can. After a moment she leans up and wipes away her tears, Arnold does the same.
"Are we still going today?" Helen asks him.
"Of course."
A sudden knock on the door interrupts them.
"I wonder who that could be." Arnold says.
"I'll get it."
Helen leaves the kitchen and opens the door to find her Dad's long time friend Gerald standing there.
"Hi Mr. Johanssen."
"Hey Helen, how you doing?"
"I'm fine thanks for asking."
Though he had gotten older, not even his job and having children were able to age Gerald. He still looked as young as ever, he's just much taller. Dressed in his suit Gerald hadn't left for work yet. Much like his youth, in his adult life Gerald has a natural business sense that he used to get a rather cozy job in an office complex downtown after college.
"Is your Dad up yet?"
"Yes sir, he's in the kitchen." Helen says as she shows him in.
Arnold sees Gerald and gets up from the table.
"Hey Gerald." Arnold says as he hugs his friend.
"Hey Arnold, how you doing?"
"I'm good, sorry I'm not dressed more appropriately." Arnold says with a slight laugh.
"Don't worry about it man."
Helen interrupts them.
"I'm leaving Dad."
"Alright, hey, are you still staying after school today?"
"Yes sir, I'm gonna get a head start on my history project."
"Do you need me to pick you up?"
"No thanks, Grandma and Grandpa said they would."
"Okay."
"And they also said that we would meet up with you later."
"Alright."
"Hey…"
"Yeah Dad."
"Come here."
Helen walks over to Arnold who hugs her once more before she leaves. He whispers very softly in her ear.
"Try to have a good day today, okay." Arnold says as kisses Helen on her head. Again she hugs him back with all her strength.
"I will."
"I love you sweetie."
"I love you too Dad."
They finish their hug and Helen makes her way for the front door.
"Bye Dad, bye Mr. Johanssen." Helen says as she waves goodbye to them.
"Bye Helen." They both reply.
The sound of the door closing signals that Arnold is alone with his best friend.
"Have a seat Gerald."
"Can I make you something, coffee, tea?" Arnold asks as he approaches the coffee pot.
"No thanks Arnold I have to leave for work soon." Gerald says as he sits at the table.
"I just came by to see how you're holding up."
Arnold sits back down at the table.
"I'm fine Gerald."
"Don't give me that Arnold."
"I've known you too long to believe that."
Arnold looks at his friend and just smirks at him.
"Yeah, I guess you're right."
"So, how you doing?" Gerald asks him again.
"I miss her Gerald."
"I miss her so much."
"I know Arnold."
"We all miss her."
"She was a good friend to all of us."
"How's Helen holding up?"
The look on Arnold's face grows sullen at the question. After a moment of reflection he answers.
"It can't be easy for her."
"Being a teenager without her Mother being here."
"Yeah well she still has you."
"Yeah but…"
"But nothing Arnold."
"I know it must be hard on her, but as long as she has you, she'll be okay." Arnold looks up at his old friend who is trying to help.
"A girl needs her Father Arnold, even if it's all she has."
"I know she must miss Helga, but she's a strong girl."
Arnold can't help but smile hearing this as he thinks about his little girl.
"Yeah she is isn't she."
"She's just like Helga you know, in every way."
"Well, except for the bully part." Arnold says laughing.
"I know, she and Lily have been friends for a long time."
"I've watched her grow up as well Arnold."
Arnold takes a moment to himself to think about how his baby girl has grown up. He can still clearly recall the day she was born, her first steps, her first word, and he is amazed at the wonderful young lady she's turned out to be. Arnold soon turns his attention back to Gerald.
"Are you gonna go see her today?" He asks.
"Of course." Gerald replies.
"Phoebe and I will go see her during lunch."
"Thanks Gerald."
Arnold suddenly grows very silent.
"Gerald."
"Yeah Arnold."
Arnold takes a moment to focus before he speaks again.
"I saw her last night."
"Saw who?"
"Helga."
"Helga?"
"You mean like in a dream or something?"
"No Gerald, I mean she was standing at the bedroom window last night." Gerald is astounded hearing this news.
"Really."
"Yeah."
"Did she say anything?"
"She told me to let it go."
"I still don't know what she meant by that."
"Let it go, huh."
"Arnold I'm just asking you this as a friend."
"Are you feeling okay?"
"Physically I mean."
"Yeah Gerald I'm fine."
"It just seemed so surreal. I still can't believe what I saw."
"You sure?"
"Yeah Gerald, I'm fine."
"Alright man just let me know if there's anything I can do."
"I will, thanks Gerald."
"Don't mention it Arnold."
Just before Gerald gets up to leave he notices the wrinkled paper on the table. He only needs to take one look at it to know why it's crumpled up.
"I guess you saw the article today?" He very solemnly asks Arnold.
"Yeah." Arnold tersely replies.
"What are you gonna do?" The look on Arnold's turns to anger once again at the thought of the newspaper article.
"Honestly Gerald…"
"I just hope I don't see him today."
"What if he tries to contact you?"
"I hope he doesn't."
"Well what if he does?"
"Then I'm not sure what I'll do." Arnold quickly answers. Gerald thinks about this for a moment.
"Alright, just promise me you won't do anything stupid."
"I promise Gerald." Arnold says with a laugh. Gerald looks down at his watch.
"Well I should probably go Arnold." Gerald says as he gets up from the table.
"Alright Gerald, thanks for stopping by."
"No problem buddy."
"What time are you gonna see her?" Gerald asks his longtime friend.
"Later on in the afternoon, I've got some work to do on my car before then."
"Alright Arnold, take care." Gerald says as he walks out.
"Bye Gerald." Arnold says as he sees Gerald out.
Alone again in the house Arnold changes his clothes and starts working on his car. Meanwhile Helen is just beginning her day as well. Just as usual Helen arrives at school half an hour before the day is due to begin. P.H.S. 209, the same school her parents went to is now her own. Though time has marched on the school has expanded to accommodate a larger student body. The library has been greatly increased in size, the gym has been renovated, and a fresh coat of paint has been applied all over. Much of the inside has stayed the same though. The floor tiles are still red and gold checkerboard and the ceiling is still an intense dark red, though they've been slightly faded by time. New lockers were installed in the new part of the school when it was being built. Their still the traditional tall single lockers but are instead a dark maroon unlike the older dark blue lockers of the main buildings. Due to the increase in the number of students the early morning sound of conversations and locker doors closing has grown exponentially since her parents were there. Making her way through the crowd Helen approaches her locker which is situated in the center of the hallway where it T's out. Turn by turn she opens the lock to her locker to retrieve some little items she needs for the day. Rooting around in her locker she hears an all too familiar voice next to her.
"Morning Helen."
Helen closes her locker door to find one of her two best friends standing there.
"Morning Lily."
Lily Martina Johanssen. Born April 17, 2015. At sixteen years old she is the oldest of Gerald and Phoebe's three kids and a sophomore at P.H.S 209 as well. She shares a few classes with Helen. She has Phoebe's kindness, gentle disposition, and intelligence. She also has Gerald's cool attitude and business sense. As captain of the debate team, she is not someone you would want to get into an argument with. She has her Father's dark skin and hair color, but she mostly resembles Phoebe. All of her stuff ready Helen leans against her locker as Lily further the conversation.
"So how you doing today girl?" Lily asks sounding concerned for her.
"I'm…okay."
"You sure?"
"Yeah."
"I'm fine, thanks Lily."
"You're welcome." They two young ladies start off down the hall toward their first class as they continue talking.
"Hey have you seen Tommy this morning?"
"He's usually here before I am." Lily thinks this over for a minute.
"No I haven't seen him yet, but I think he's got a doctor's appointment this morning."
"Oh."
"Yeah, it's a shame he couldn't hang out with us yesterday."
"Yeah it is."
"He really needs to relax more often." Helen says just as they enter their classroom.
The first bell of the day rings and Helen and Lily go about their day like it was any other, though Tommy still has yet to be seen. Their morning classes pass by without any real excitement or interest. The first lunch bell rings much to their relief. The two young ladies navigate the crowded hallways of the school heading toward the cafeteria. It only takes them a few minutes to get their lunches and they start for their usual table. As they approach it already sitting there intently focused on his books and no lunch, dressed in a pair of jeans, a long sleeve t-shirt and his basketball jersey, is Tommy.
Thomas Patrick McElroy, born August 18, 2015. Sixteen years old, 5' 10", he has brown hair and blue eyes. As a member of the school basketball team he's a fit and strong but not overly muscular young man. He's not by any means a star on the team, but he's a trustworthy member and a real team player. While though he may be on the team, he's not the most sociable guy in school. In fact he often becomes nervous around some of the girls in the school, even though he's been told he's a rather good looking guy. At sixteen, his facial hair has gone from slight peach fuzz to almost a full blown beard which he normally keeps nicely trimmed. But the stress of keeping his grades up is starting to get to him as his face has a slight five o'clock shadow. It's not that he's not smart, in fact he's just as smart as either Helen or Lily, but the stress from the coaches and especially his parents is really rough on him. The fame of the basketball team doesn't even faze him. The two people he often spends most of his time with are his two oldest friends, Helen and Lily. And lately, Tommy seems to be…excited, when he's with Helen, even more so than normal.
"Hey Tommy." Helen and Lily say as they sit down.
Without even looking up from his books Tommy just gives them a cursory, "Hey."
Helen and Lily silently talk to each other for a few minutes before Helen finally talks to him
"So did you enjoy your weekend Tommy?"
Still focused on his studies Tommy quickly answers her. "Not really Helen."
"Why not?"
"Would you enjoy your weekend if you spent the entire time studying and practicing all the while your parents are hounding you about school?"
"No I guess not." Helen says feeling she upset him.
"You should have come with us to the movies yesterday."
"I couldn't Helen, believe me I wanted to. But my Dad wouldn't allow it."
"Why not?" "Because he wants me to be as successful on the team as he was in high school."
"Then why don't you say something to them?"
"Because then they'll make me work even harder." Helen lays her hand on his arm trying to get him to relax.
"Tommy, ease up on the work."
"It's clearly stressing you out." Tommy sits up in his chair and has a slight look of anger on his face.
"I CAN'T HELEN!"
"If I don't do this work my parents will never let me live it down."
"It's okay Tommy." Lily interjects.
"How is it okay? I haven't had a good night's sleep in over a month; I'm physically and mentally exhausted."
"Then why don't you just take a break?" Helen asks him.
"BECAUSE MY PARENTS ARE RELENTLESS!" Tommy says really getting angry.
"I appreciate the concern from both of you but please, just leave me alone for a little bit okay." Now Helen is starting to get angry.
"Well excuse me for trying to help you out." She says as she gets up and storms out of the cafeteria.
Lily just folds her hands and shakes her head. Then she turns her gaze to Tommy.
"You know you really aren't helping her out today." Tommy is confused by her statement.
"What are talking about?"
"Don't you know what today is?"
"What today is?" Tommy reiterates.
Slowly he looks down at his watch and the date it displays. Now he sets down his books and his pen and lays his head in his hands.
"Oh I am such an idiot." He solemnly says.
"Yeah."
"I completely forgot."
"YOU FORGOT!" Lily says in complete shock.
"Yeah."
"I can't believe I got angry at her."
"I can't believe it either."
"You're usually not like this."
"I didn't mean to make her angry."
"Well if you want to apologize to her she's staying after school today."
"She is?"
"Yeah she's working on her history project."
"I'll do that then."
"Sorry Lily."
"I understand, but I'm not the one you should be apologizing to."
"Yeah I know."
"Just talk to her, she'll forgive you."
"I hope she does." Tommy says as he reluctantly returns to his books.
The rest of their lunch period goes by without either of them saying a word. And the rest of their classes Tommy tries his best to avoid Helen to remove the risk of angering her further. The rest of the day goes by just as any other day, the final bell rings and Helen goes straight to the library and Tommy heads to the weight room to work off some of his stress. Meanwhile back at home, Arnold is preparing to leave the house for a ritualistic and yet unexpected event.
Three thirty in the afternoon, Arnold is dressed and starting for the garage. He's wearing a nice pair of jeans and button up shirt with his sleeves rolled up. Without even looking he grabs his keys and climbs in his car. His old Impala, which he's had since his junior year in high school, is starting to give signs that it's on its last leg. He's tried his best to keep it running as long as he could. The metallic black cherry, silver striped monster of his youth has lost a lot of its bite. The engine still sounds fierce, but there are times when it just won't work. He turns the engine and exits the garage, but he has one stop to make before he leaves for his intended destination. He slows to a stop just in front of a local flower shop that everyone goes to. It's Mrs. Vitello's flower shop, but sadly she doesn't own it anymore. When she passed on, she left to one of her distant relatives that she was close to. Arnold quickly enters and picks up a dozen white roses, secured by a single pink ribbon. His flowers purchased, he now begins the seemingly long drive to the cemetery outside the city where his dearly departed wife is buried. The drive there seems to get longer and longer every time. The windows rolled down; the cold November wind circles the cabin of his old muscle car. Fifteen minutes after he left the flower shop he's approaching the cemetery. He slowly drives his car along the roads between the rows of graves. This particular road has been unwontedly burned in his mind. He doesn't even notice the lay of the land as the ground to his left rises to a fairly good sized hill, and the road on his right drops down to the next road. What he does see however, is another car parked just to the right of the road and someone leaning against it. He doesn't think anything of this at first until he gets closer. The closer he gets he starts to notice something. The car in question is parked where Arnold usually parks at the bottom of the hill where Helga's grave lies. The man leaning against the car takes notice of Arnold as he approaches and leans off the car but doesn't approach. Arnold comes to a stop a few feet behind his car and realizes who it is. He takes a minute to process this. Slowly, he starts to get angry. Frustratingly he gets out of the car, leaving the roses in the front seat, and stand next to the door. The weather is extremely cloudy, there are puddles still lingering from the storms earlier in the day. This man before Arnold has grown incredibly old over the years. His face and body show clear signs of aging, his once dark hair has all but turned entirely gray. He's wearing a white shirt and a black suit. Slowly, he starts a conversation with Arnold.
"Mr. Pataki…"
With a quick cursory grunt Arnold replies, "What do you want?"
"I don't know if you remember me but…"
"I remember damn well who you are, why are you here?"
"I was released from prison today."
"I saw the paper, come to rub it in my face?"
"No sir, that not why I'm here."
"Then WHY are you here?"
"I was hoping we could talk." The man pleads.
Arnold says nothing, he just crosses his arms.
"I know that there's not a whole lot I can say to make you feel any better."
"I know that there's nothing I can say to heal the wounds of your loss."
That one utterance and Arnold is in his face.
"LET ME TELL YOU WHAT I'VE LOST!" The man stops talking that second.
"The past ten years of my life have been utterly miserable."
"Countless sleepless nights, the pains of sorrow always hanging over me like a rain cloud."
"For nearly the first year without my wife I couldn't sleep in my own bed."
"THE BED THAT SHE AND I SHARED!" The man just stares at Arnold as he vents his rage.
"Ten years without the woman I love, ten years without my best friend."
Arnold backs off and turns his back to him as he covers his face. The man can clearly see Arnold is trying to fight something but he stays as still as a stone. He doesn't dare to talk to him or make any motion of any kind. Arnold turns back to him.
"Ten ye…" Arnold takes a deep breath as he tries his best to fight his tears.
"Ten years of my Daughter's life, without her mother." The man casts a sorrowful gaze to the ground as Arnold continues.
"Do you know how hard it is to be a teenager, and not have her Mother?"
"To not have someone that she can confide in when she needs to."
"I may be her Father but I can only do so much."
Arnold pauses for a response.
"I understand how you feel."
"Do you?"
"Do you really understand how I feel?"
"I do."
"After the trial, my wife soon left me."
"And she took our daughter with her."
"At least your wife is still alive."
"Maybe, but she doesn't want anything to do with me anymore."
Arnold is unsure how to feel at the moment.
"And my daughter is estranged from me as well."
Arnold is still unsure how to feel.
"Like I said Mr. Pataki, I know there's nothing I can say to you that would right the terrible wrong I've brought on you and your family."
"I do however have a proposition for you."
"Yeah and what's that?" The man slowly pulls something out of his jacket pocket.
It's a small item, he carefully hands it to Arnold. Arnold looks at the item in question. It's a picture of the man before him and a little girl. On the back is written two words, 'I'm sorry'
"If you could, please give that to my daughter." Arnold is confused by his statement.
"And why would I do that?" The man looks up at Arnold very remorsefully and takes a deep breath.
He reaches around behind him and places in Arnold's free hand a MAC 1911 .45. Though he's held a gun before, Arnold is mortified by this gesture. Once more the man pulls something from his jacket pocket. In his hand is a letter which he lays down of the trunk of his car.
"This is the note you should give to the cops."
"What?"
"This is my suicide note."
Arnold is truly mortified by the situation. Without even realizing he's doing it, Arnold has his fingers wrapped around the grip and his finger on the trigger. He feels the grooves of the trigger, the cold heavy steel of the frame, the aged and dark wood on the grip.
"What I am asking you to do is take your rage out me." Arnold looks up at him and sees that he is completely serious.
"This is the only way I can forgive myself for what I've done to your family." Arnold looks back down at the gun.
"You know…"
"I'm sorely tempted to accept that offer."
"I just hope that this will allow you to find some semblance of peace." Arnold continues to gaze at the gun.
"There's a round already chambered, you just need to cock the hammer."
"Are you serious about this?" The man takes another deep breath.
"I am." Arnold's gaze goes back to the pistol.
In the process of figuring out what to do, Arnold get the faintest sense of something familiar around him. Then he suddenly realizes that this same sensation was what he felt in the early hours of the morning. First there was a slight smell in the air. The wind picks up, the smell gets stronger and a faint voice is heard in the wind.
"Let it go Arnold."
"Helga."
Again the voice repeats.
"Let it go Arnold." Arnold's gaze turns from the gun to Helga's grave just up the hill.
Not saying anything, he puts all the pieces together.
*She told me, to let it go.* He looks back up at the man who is still waiting for a response. Again Arnold repeats her message in his mind.
*Let it go.* Once more he looks down at the gun and repeats Helga's message.
*Let it go.* A few more minutes go by before Arnold makes up his mind.
*Thank you Helga.* Arnold thinks to himself.
He finally knows how to handle the situation before him.
"Are you sure this is what you want?" Arnold calmly asks him.
"It is."
"Very well." Arnold says as he raises the gun to the man's face.
The sound of the hammer cocking causes the man to close his eyes and brace for the coming shot.
"Do it." The man pleads.
"Very well."
BANG.
…
…
…
Silence, darkness, the cold wind embraces the man who has pleaded for his life to be taken. Slowly he opens his eyes. Instead of finding welcoming light, or eternal darkness, before him, is Arnold, smoking gun in hand pointed at the picture before him. A hole in the picture where his head used to be.
"I…"
"I don't…understand." Arnold slowly looks back up at him to reveal a sly smile on his face.
"There, I've killed you."
"But I don't…"
"You died here today, understand."
"The man who took my wife, the Mother of my child is no longer here."
"What I don't understand is, why?"
Arnold just smiles and looks up at his wife's grave.
"Because she wouldn't want me to." The man looks up at her grave as well.
"I just wasted a bullet, don't waste your life." Arnold says as he removes the magazine and ejects the chambered round. He even goes a bit further and removes the retention pin and the slide as well. Arnold hands him the frame, magazine, and retention pin. He holds the slide in front of him.
"I'm keeping this." Arnold says as he puts it in his pocket.
"So what does this mean?" He confusedly asks Arnold.
"Let's just say, I'm starting to look upon you in a better light." Arnold says as he extends his hand.
The man slowly reaches out to shake his hand accepting Arnold's indirect forgiveness. Just as they finish Arnold tightens his grip around the man's hand.
"There's another reason why I'm doing this." Arnold tells him.
"A girl needs her Father, even if they don't talk a lot, a girl needs her Father."
"You need to be there for her."
"Thank you Mr. Pataki."
"Just promise me you won't do anything like this again."
"No sir I won't."
"Well have a good day." The man says as he picks up his note and starts toward his car.
"You too." Arnold says to him. Just as he opens the door he pauses and turns back to Arnold.
"Mr. Pataki, for what it's worth…I truly am sorry."
"A man wanting to forfeit his own life is anything but a liar."
"I believe you whole heartedly, it just takes some time."
"I understand completely, well, have a good day." He says just as he climbs back in his car.
Arnold waves goodbye to the man and just leans against his car smiling. What Helga was telling him to let go, was all the hatred he had gathered for the man who took his wife from him. She was reminding him of the main reason she was attracted to him in the first place. The part of Arnold that always did the right thing, the part of him always wanting to make people happy, Helga had gotten to him. The peacekeeper in him, has won. While still leaning against his car a break in the clouds opens up letting the sun shine down on him. The weight on his soul has been lifted, his anger is gone. Meanwhile, at the same time Helen is finishing up her late day at school. And she has one event that she wouldn't normally expect either.
Four o'clock in the afternoon, outside P.H.S. 209. The clouds are still lingering but the rain has passed. No one around outside to be seen, suddenly the front door swings open as Helen walks out and sits down on the steps. Waiting patiently for her grandparents to pick her she uses this time to go over the material for her project. Ten minutes go by before she hears the doors open up again. She turns to see Tommy walking out. Tommy very slowly approaches her.
"Hey Helen." He carefully says to her.
"Hey." She replies, still a little mad at him.
"You mind if I sit down."
"No, not at all." Tommy sits down beside her while she continues to look over her project.
"So why did you stay after?"
"I was working on my history project."
"Oh, I was in the weight room."
"Oh."
"Listen Helen, I want to apologize to you."
"For what?"
"For the way I acted in the cafeteria today." Helen looks up from her books up at him.
"I was frustrated with my parents and all the stress that there putting on me and I took it out you and that wasn't right."
"It's okay Tommy."
"No it's not Helen, you were just trying to help and I got angry at you."
"You're my oldest friend Helen; I shouldn't have acted that way towards you."
"It's okay Tommy, I forgive you."
"I also want to apologize for something else."
"What?"
Tommy takes a deep breath before he continues.
"I'm sorry that I forgot that this was the day that your Mom died." Helen has a sad look on her face hearing this.
"I know you miss her and it wasn't right for me to act like I did."
"It's alright Tommy; I know you've been under a lot of stress lately."
"That's still no excuse."
"And you're right; I do miss her."
"I miss her a whole lot."
"But I don't remember a whole lot about her."
"Well, what do you remember about her?"
"Well, the one thing that I remember really well is that she used to sing me to sleep."
"Tell me about it, because I'm not even sure I remember her very well either."
"Well, there was this one night that…" Helen begins as she regales Tommy with a story of her Mother.
Her mind takes her back to the night of the accident. The door to her room opens up as a six year old Helen is carried in by her Mother.
"Alright little lady it's time for you to go to bed."
"But I'm not tired."
"That doesn't change a thing sweetie."
"Oh okay." Helen says as she climbs into bed.
"Now, you just lie down and go to sleep."
"Will you sing me a song Mommy?"
"Okay Helen, which one would you like?" Helen thinks about this for a minute.
A look of joy washes over her as she makes up her mind. She leans up to whisper it in Helga's ear.
"Aren't you getting a little old for that one?"
"But you sing it so pretty Mommy."
"Please, please, pleeeeeaaaaasseee." Helen begs her.
Helga just simply smiles, she can't say no to her little girl.
"Alright, but you need to go to bed afterwards okay."
"I promise."
"Alright, you get comfy and I'll sing you to sleep."
"Yay." Helen gets settled in to her bed as Helga draws the covers over her before she starts to sing.
"Lullaby and goodnight."
"Go to sleep little baby." Helen is starting to yawn.
"Know we love more each day."
"While you sleep and while you play."
"Sweet dreams and, sleep tight."
"You're your Mother's delight." Helen is almost asleep.
"So soft and warm your bed."
"Close your eyes and rest your head." Helen is out like a light.
Gingerly, Helga leans in to kiss her Daughter goodnight. As she leans up she's surprised as Helen hugs her neck and whispers softly in her ear.
"I love you Mommy." Helga hugs her little girl and replies.
"I love you too sweetheart." She kisses her one final time as Helen gets comfortable again.
Helga stops just at the door when Helens tells her, "Goodnight Mommy."
Helga turns to her daughter and lovingly tells her, "Goodnight honey."
Very quietly Helga walks out of her room.
"That was the last night I saw her alive." Helen says to Tommy as she finishes her story.
"Wow."
"That was the last time we ever talked."
"I'm sorry Helen."
"It's not your fault Tommy."
"I know, I just wish I could say something to make you feel better."
"Cause you know, I, I, I would never hurt you." Tommy stutters as he tries to speak.
Helen looks over at him and can see that he looks a little nervous.
"I just, I just wouldn't."
"I know you wouldn't Tommy." Helen tells him with a slight laugh.
"Because you know, you're my oldest friend and I, I, I, would never think about hurting you and…"
Tommy starts talking but Helen focuses on him. One thing that she has always loved about him is the color of his eyes. They're not the same intense blue as her own eyes. Tommy's eyes almost have a chameleon effect to them. They change color depending on the color of the shirt he's wearing and the amount of sunlight. Right now they look a foggy blue due to the overcast skies. She once again focuses on what he's saying.
"We've known each other a long time and we get along so well…"
While Tommy talks Helen silently thinks to herself.
*It looks like the rumors are true.* Helen thinks as she smiles at him, though Tommy doesn't see it.
The rumors in question involve Tommy's feeling for her. You see during the latter years of Middle school there had been a rumor going around that he had a bit of a crush on her. Now the rumor floating around there second year of high school was that he was full blown in love with her. Again she listens to what he's saying.
"It's just I really like you Helen and I know you're trying to focus on school and everything but…"
Again Helen silently thinks to herself.
*He is really sweet…why not, he's earned one by now.*
Without Tommy acknowledging it, Helen leans in and softly kisses him on the cheek. Naturally receiving a kiss like that stops Tommy midsentence and freezes him in place. Slowly his face turns as red as the bricks in the building behind them. Helen can only quietly chuckle to herself as she confirms the truth of the rumors. Before Tommy has a chance to recover, Helen leans against him and lays her head on his shoulder.
"Tommy."
"Thanks for being such a good friend." This only makes him that much more nervous.
After a minute or two Tommy finally recovers his faculties.
"Hey, Helen."
"Yeah."
"I was wondering something."
"What's that?"
"I was wondering, maybe if you weren't busy sometime (gulp) maybe we could go out, you know, on a date."
Before she has a chance to answer him, her Grandparents pull up to the curb and honk the horn. Helen leans up off of him and has a sullen look on her face.
"Oh, okay." Tommy says sounding disappointed.
Helen turns to him.
"It's just not a good day today Tommy."
"No you're right, I understand."
"Just forget about it."
"Look, my grandparents are waiting for me, I got to go."
"Okay, so I'll see you tomorrow."
"Yeah, see you tomorrow." Helen says as she descends the steps.
Just as she reaches the bottom step, she turns back to him to reveal a smile on her face.
"Hey."
Tommy looks up at her.
"Ask me again tomorrow." The joy on his face could not be contained at that moment.
"Okay, I will."
"Bye Tommy."
"Bye Helen." Tommy says as he waves goodbye to her.
And with that Helen joins her grandparents as they head off to join Arnold for one last piece of the days business. After his dealings with the man, Arnold took a few minutes to compose himself before ascending the hill to where his wife lay. Once he feels ready he grabs the roses from the front seat and climbs the hill to his wife's grave. The first thing he does is clear her head stone of any weeds that have grown since he last visited her. Then he lays the roses at the bottom of her head stone. His wife's grave cleaned, roses laid down, Arnold takes a few steps back and looks at her epitaph.
'Here lies Helga G. Pataki'
'Beloved Wife, Mother, Friend.'
'Always in our hearts and minds.'
Arnold takes a moment to himself before he talks to her.
"Hey baby."
"I've missed you."
"Helen, she misses you too."
"The house just isn't the same without you."
Arnold starts to choke up a little bit.
"I've just missed you so much."
"And I know it must be hard on Helen without you here, but she's been holding up pretty good."
"But like I said she stills misses you a whole lot."
"Helga, you would be so proud of our little girl."
"She's just as smart and beautiful as you."
"Sometimes it scares me how smart she is."
"And she looks just like you." Arnold says laughing.
"She's grown up into a wonderful young lady."
Arnold takes a deep breath before he continues.
"Helga…"
"I just love you so much."
"And I realize what you were trying to tell me, and…"
"I thank you for it."
"You always did know me best." Arnold says with a smile.
No sooner had Arnold spoken that sentence than he hears the sound of a car pulling up and some of the doors opening.
"She's here." Arnold says to her.
Still facing her head stone Arnold hears someone approaching from behind.
"Hey Dad." Helen says to him.
"Hey kiddo." Arnold says as he hugs and kisses his daughter.
Arnold lays his arm on her shoulder while Helen still hugs him, she talks to her Mother.
"Hey Mom." Much like her Father, Helen chokes up as a single tear rolls down her cheek.
"I've missed you a lot."
"Dad and I have missed you a lot." She wipes away the tear on her cheek.
"Things haven't been easy without you."
"But, we've been getting along okay."
"I just wish you were here." Helen tells her.
"I miss you so much Mom." Helen says as Arnold hugs her again.
"I know you do princess, I know you do." Arnold says to her.
"Helga, just know that we both love you and miss dearly."
"And life just hasn't been the same without you." Helen hugs her Father one more time.
The two of them just spend a few minutes just standing in front of her grave and think about all the good times that they've had with Helga. Arnold is the first to break the silence.
"Well Helga, we don't want to disturb your rest too much."
"So we'll let you rest and we'll be back another time."
"Bye Mom, I love you."
"We all love you Helga."
"We'll see you later Mom." Helen says as they both start back down the hill.
Parked just behind his own car, is Bob's big blue sedan. Father and Daughter walk over to talk with them.
"Hello Arnold."
Miriam and Bob say to him.
"Hey Miriam, hey Bob." Arnold says as he hugs his in-laws.
"How you doing today Arnold?" Miriam asks him.
"I'm good, I'm doing good."
"How are things at home Arnold?" Bob asks him.
"Things are good Bob."
"Thanks for bringing Helen by."
"Don't mention it Arnold." Miriam tells him.
"We haven't seen you around the house lately, don't be a stranger young lady."
"I won't Grandma; I'll come by either tomorrow or the day after."
"Are you guys gonna go see her?" Arnold asks his extended family.
"We came by and saw her earlier today; Olga came with us when we did."
"That's good to hear."
"Well we just wanted to come by and drop Helen off; we've got things to do so I think we'll be going."
"Alright, thanks again for bringing her by."
"Don't worry about it Arnold."
"We'll see you guys later."
"Bye Grandma, bye Grandpa." Helen says as she hugs her Grandparents.
"Bye Sweetie, you should come by sometime, we miss having you around the house."
"I'll come by tomorrow Grandma."
"It was good to see you again Arnold."
"It was good to see you guys too." Arnold says as he hugs his in-laws as well.
"We'll see you around sometime."
"Bye." Arnold and Helen say as they wave goodbye to their family.
The blue sedan completely out of sight Arnold turns to his Daughter.
"So, how was school today?"
"It was…interesting."
"How so?"
"Well…I kinda…kissed Tommy today." Helen apprehensively tells him as her face slightly blushes.
"Really."
"Yeah."
"You mean like an actual kiss or what?"
"No it was a little one on his cheek."
"I think he really liked it though."
"Well good for you kiddo."
"I was wondering how long it would take one of you to make the move."
"You mean you knew?"
"Oh yeah Helen."
"I've seen the way he looks at you; he's got a major league crush on you."
"You think so?"
"Definitely, and he's a good kid I hope you'll give him a chance."
"Well, he did kind of ask me out today."
"What did you say?"
"I told him the truth, that today wasn't a good day for me."
"Oh Helen." Arnold says sounding disappointed.
"But, I told him to ask me again tomorrow."
"That's my girl." Arnold says as he kisses his Daughter on the head.
"So you hungry? Wanna get something to eat?"
"Sure Dad, that sounds great."
"Alright then, let's go." Arnold says as they proceed to get in the car.
But just before Helen gets in, she sees something out of the corner of her eye. She looks up to her Mother's grave and sees someone standing there. She takes another look to see that it's the image of her Mother on her final Mother's Day. The image of Helga gently waves at her and blows her a kiss. Helen waves back and very softly under her breath says only one thing.
"Bye Mom."
After which she climbs in the car and she and Arnold go out to eat somewhere in the city. After that day, Arnold's nightmare slowly decreased in intensity and after a few months it stopped entirely. Though Helen still misses her Mom, the pain did eventually lessen for her, with Tommy's help of course. But the pain never really goes away. Losing someone you loved so dearly is probably the most painful experience the heart can endure. But with time, and patience, the pain does lessen up, but it never truly goes away. And for Arnold, well…that's one hole that can never be filled again; the loss of his beloved wife has scarred him for the rest of his life. At least he has Helen, the very image of the one he loved so much. His one and only child. As long as he has her, Helga is never truly forgotten. Over time they heal each other, console each other when they need, and support each other when times get tough. Just remember, time heals all wounds. It may take a long time for that wound to heal, but it will be healed. You just have to push on and persevere.
