Disclaimer: I don't own Steven Universe

Title: Ashes and Blood

Summary: Connie is forced to come to terms with her humanity after a battle with Homeworld

Warnings: Missing limb.

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Suenoi- Worry no longer, friend. =)

The Keeper Of Worlds- Thanks!

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"Can I see him?"

Sapphire, halfway through chewing a bite of food, coughs and delicately puts her fist to her mouth, having not expected that. Connie sends her an apologetic look. Ruby glances at her to make sure she's okay, then turns back to Connie.

"Yeah, sure."

"Are you sure?" She casts a pointed glance at the blue gem. Sapphire swallows and nods.

"I wasn't expecting the question, that's all. Wasn't using my future vision." Connie doesn't think that this is the kind of thing that could be turned off, but, rather, be directed towards simpler things. Things that didn't involve the girl whose limb they'd severed asking to see the gem of their adopted 'son' a few weeks after his first poofing. Sapphire fixes her a look, but, due to her bangs, Connie can't see what kind of look. "You never asked to see him before now."

It wasn't a question, but it sure sounded like one.

"I wasn't ready. Now I am."

She knew it was silly, but she'd wanted to be... whole the first time they met up again. Connie is well aware of the fact that Steven can't actually see anything, and, even if he could, he'd just be happy to see her, but it hadn't felt right.

She still wasn't whole. But this was the closest she was going to get.

"Alright then." She nodded. "After dinner."

The room was exactly how she remembered it. Sweltering hot and lit, not by lights, but by the earth itself. Bubbles of different colors and sizes float around the room. Connie knows them all by name.

Steven had introduced her, of course. He'd took them down one by one, repeating the names of the ones he knew, making up names for the ones he didn't. It took him hours. She'd sat by his side and listened quietly as he spoke, sword propped up against the door.

Steven's gem is on a pedestal-type thing Connie has never seen before- they probably made it just for him, now that she thought about it- on a pillow. The air around it seems cooler than the air in the rest of the room, but still warm enough to sustain life.

Hot and cold. Rubies and Sapphires. Well played.

"Do you think he can, I don't know, sense me?" Connie asks as she gently picks the gem up. "I don't know how all this works."

"Eh." Ruby shrugs. "You can feel some of the little stuff; drastic changes in temperature, familiar presences, large amounts of things like stress or panic. He'll recognize your presence, but he won't be able to put a name to it."

Sapphire gently places her gem hand on Ruby's arm in a silent bid for comfort and gestures towards Connie. "He won't recognize you if you hold him like that, you know."

Connie blinks and is suddenly hyper-aware of the fact she'd picked him up with her right hand. It wasn't intentional, her right hand just happens to be her dominant hand, even now.

She switches his gem to her left hand without comment. It's warm, which doesn't really surprise her. She's missed the warmth, actually. Is comforted by it. "Well, he certainly recognizes me now."


Connie spent the next week watching over Steven's gem, off and on, when she wasn't helping out around the temple or cleaning the beach.

Now that someone else is watching over his gem, Ruby and Sapphire finally draw themselves out of their seclusion. Connie didn't think they'd spent most of their time waiting for him to regenerate; knew they didn't, even. She was becoming more and more certain of the fact that they were just trying to avoid her eye.

Why, however, was a bit of a mystery. The gems had lived for thousands upon thousands of years now; surely they'd seen a human lose a limb by now? She knew that they'd seen blood; was certain of it. It wasn't just gems that fought in the war, both Steven and Mr. Universe had told her. People had died too.

Maybe it's just her. Maybe it's because she's Steven's friend, and they felt guilty for causing her harm because she's his friend. Maybe they're avoiding her because she's part of the reason they'd stayed split up for so long. She certainly hoped that wasn't the case.

"I'm sorry." She says one day, cradling his gem to her stomach. She keeps her gaze on it rather than look at the gems in question. She wonders what Steven felt when she held his gem. Warmth? Familiarity? None of the above?

"You have nothing to be sorry for." Sapphire says, but Connie can't help but feel like she's just saying it to make her feel better.

"Yes, I do." She says it patiently. Her tears have, for the most part, dried, but it still hurt to talk like this, so personally, so soon. "I'm part of the reason you're like this. Garnet is who you are. I've made you so uncomfortable you can't even be yourselves. That's not right, and I'm sorry."

They exchanged a look. Ruby sets a blazing hot hand on her shoulder. Connie tries not to shy away from it. "Look, kiddo. That's not your fault. You didn't make the ship fall on you."

No, no she didn't. Still. "I should've gotten off the beach when I had the chance."

"If you'd gone the other way you both would've died." Sapphire responds, voice wavering only slightly, and Connie believes her. She does, after all, possess the future vision Steven was so amazed by. "This was one of the better... possibilities. Ruby and I just have some things we need to work out. We've been... putting it off." She glances pointedly at the red gem, who winces appropriately. "It's not your fault." She repeats, this time more strongly.

Connie doesn't answer. At times like these, she's reminded just how lucky she is not to have any sort of future sight.

Sapphire pauses, jerks, and sets a hand on Ruby's shoulder. "Let's give her some privacy."

"But-"

"Ruby."

Ruby hears things in her voice that Connie doesn't. She immediately straightens and nods, the ghost of a smile on her face.

"Sure." Then, as an afterthought; "Amethyst could probably use some help."

"Probably." Sapphire agrees.

They leave her alone. Unsure what to make of their sudden departure, Connie returns Steven's gem to the pillow and sits down, numbly examining the transparency and yellow veins that now make up her right arm.

They aren't going away. She needs to accept that.

And that's around the time Steven's gem starts to glow. Connie stands, the pieces falling into place in her mind, and she doesn't know if she should hug the smaller gems or punch them. Ruby would accept the hug with a grumble; return the punch with reckless abandon. Sapphire would see both coming and handle them accordingly.

Garnet would shrug and return the hug... probably stare her down if she tried to punch her. The highest point she can reach would be her stomach, which she can only assume, considering the woman fights monsters and saves the world on a daily basis, was as hard as the stones she was made of.

"Hey."

Connie's mind snaps to the present. She'd missed the glowing and shifting song and dance she'd seen with Amethyst and, once, Pearl, but Steven is back, face drawn in concern and happiness all at once.

"Steven!" She bursts forward and wraps him into a hug he returns gratefully, pressing their foreheads together. Beside herself, she laughs.

The shirt is gone, replaced by a red hoodie with a star in the center, the fabric light enough to not bother him in the heat but still keep him warm in the cold. The seams are a clean white color. The jeans are still there, but they look thicker. More reinforced. The sandals aren't gone, but Connie is sure he'll wear them until the day he dies, no matter how bad they are for your feet and back.

They're battle clothes, she realizes with a start. The closest he'll ever come to them, anyway.

"I missed you." They both admit, then break off into laughter.

"Yeah, me too..." He says, and Connie's heart echoes the statement.


Steven still has the ability to squeal and go starry-eyed when he sees Ruby and Sapphire, and runs up to hug them without so much as a hello. Hugs them all, really. Pearl joins the embrace almost immediately, and Amethyst, who had been shuffling her feet off to the side, hesitantly wraps her arms around them as far as they can go without so much as a complaint.

Connie is floored. Steven has just been stabbed. He's been stuck in his gem for weeks, which must be a disorienting experience for something that's part human. But he can still laugh and cry and hug, free as a bird. Her respect for him deepens even more.

She lets them have their moment in peace.


It's starting to get dark out when Steven meets her by the fence. She's leaning her back against it, idly pulling up bits of grass.

She didn't ask him to come. He just does.

"Hey." He flops down next to her. "Pearl, uh, told me what happened. What they think happened." He corrects himself.

"She did?"

"Yeah. Can you really not feel that?"

He nods at her right hand, tangled up in the blades of grace.

"Nope." She answers with a shake of her head.

"Oh. Can I... can I see? I mean, not if it makes you uncomfortable or anything-"

"It doesn't." Not anymore. Not now that he's back. Connie presses her thumb against the middle of the shoulder. A bright line appears, severing the limb with more precision than a blade.

"Whoa, that's rad!"

"Eh." She holds the prosthetic out with a shrug. "I can't feel it, so that's a relief, I guess."

"You're still a little scabbed over." He says, and Connie looks over to find that he's right. She must've reopened the wound at some point, but she can't remember for the life of her when. Steven licks his thumb almost absentmindedly and heals the scab.

Now the scar is a two-parter, like someone erased the middle but was to lazy to erase the beginning or the end. It looks so ridiculous but fitting that Connie laughs.

They sit in silence for a little while. It's not the awkward kind; it's the kind you might have while sitting next to a friend to watch the highly anticipated season finale of one of your favorite shows. A 'I'm happy you're here with me- pass the popcorn- let's snuggle under a blanket' kind of quiet.

"Hey, Connie?"

"Yeah?"

"What did happen after I got poofed?"

Connie tenses, although she knew the question was coming. "The ship fell on me."

"Yeah. But, like, between that? All the stuff I missed."

She doesn't answer, lips pressed together firmly. Doesn't know how. How to properly express fear and adrenaline and that sinking feeling she'd had in her gut.

Steven stares at her a long moment, eyes soft, before hesitantly reaching out to touch her shoulder. "Wanna fuse?"

She blinks. "You mean us? Fuse into... Stevonnie?" It's been a while since the last time they fused. Even before the ship. But they'd never really planned it or anything before, so...

(He always asked for permission first, though. Always held out his hand and gave her a look that made sure to remind her what happened when they danced, because they had always made sure to instill proper fusing etiquette in him.)

(She always took it.)

"Well, yeah." He shrugs nonchalantly, but she can see the worry there. "That way, we won't have to think or say anything. Just... feel."

And remember. That part goes unspoken.

Connie hesitates, but doesn't look away.

"I mean, I can understand if you don't want to. Really."

"Huh? Oh, no. I'd like to, really, just..." She reaches down to grab the prosthetic- which she'd forgotten she'd taken off- but doesn't quite make it.

"You don't have to wear it. I mean, unless you want to. If it makes you more comfortable, then-"

"No, no." She shakes her head, straightens, and takes his offered hand. "It was never really about comfort."

Dancing with one arm is weird, but Connie's never been very proud of her dance skills anyway, so it might be for the best. In her mind, it's one less limb to flail around uselessly.

Steven dances with all of his family in him. Garnet's smoothness, Amethyst's openness, a dash of Pearl's grace, a bit of Greg's style, and something so Steven it sets him apart from the rest. She tucks her head into his shoulder as they fuse.

Their pants go down to their knees now, and their right shirt sleeve goes down to their wrist, but the fabric and the look is still the same. Stevonnie looks themselves over, twirls, then sits down with a giggle.

"Alright, serious time." They lean their head against the fence and close their eyes. "Let's get started."

Author's Note: Stevonnie makes an appearance! =)

Flashback chapter is coming up next, folks. Are ye' prepared?

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