Oh, yes, the damn disclaimer: seriosuly, do we really have to do it? Because, Jeez, if I'd own them, I'd not be here writing it, I'd be the writeer of a TV Shows and, well, we'd have the LIsbon romance for real...meanwhile, I just "write, draw, create, dream, hope and believe in Bruno, waiting for him to be blessed bu the light of reason..." (No, this discalimer isn't mine, it belongs to one fo the girls who wite Mentalist fiction on the italian site efpfiction, but don't tell me many of you don't share this vision...).
Mega, super, ultra Author's note...: I have the evil that men do on hiatus since this summer,I'm well aware of that. And I'm terribly late with the translation of my fanfics from English into Italian (I still have to understand how is possible that I think and write in English, and I'm pretty unable to make my stories made sense into Italian. Mah.), and I'm even terribly late in writing Blackdragon, if you know what I'm talking about... but here I am, with a new multichapter. the rating is T for security measures, even if I'm not sure I'll ever need it, and, just for the record:
this is dedicated to the talented PetiteJ, nice writer and amazing artist of the mentalist, and mostly JISBON, universe. this story took life a while ago via MSN, we ended up discussing this possibility, and I ended up telling her "I think I'll write soemthing about it, you know?" and so, here we are!
BTW. thanks to both my reviewers. You make my day. and to all of you who put me and or the story on fav or alerts. it's alwasy good, but still weird, seeing so many emails in my account...
CHAPTER 3
When Crews offers his large, and rather empty, mansion to Donovan and the people who'll look after her, she gently declines, preferring the apartment provided by the department, a safe house, small and less fancy then what's owned by the rich detective, of course, but the woman right now is dealing with a bit too much, and she isn't sure she can handle being 24/7 around the redhead, not when Charlie is clearly trying to win her over back, something she doesn't need right now. To be honest, she never needed it, and never will. Charlie Crews is, for many reason, the last person she needs at her side, she needs to be in a romantic relationship with. She knew it when he just flirted with her when they first met on a crime scene. She knew it when they went on a date. She knew after she had had sex with him for the first time. She knew it the morning, months later, when she suddenly woke up in the middle of the night wondering why it had took her so long to realize that, with him, she wasn't happy, just more stressed than even before.
So, yeah, better being in some dirty place with the company of strangers- the CBI- than dealing with Charlie.
Even if the DNA tests will not be ready until the following morning, it seems clear to everyone that the reason Donovan, through her best friend, has been targeted, it's because she is, indeed, a Jane in the blood.
Anne doesn't want to talk about it, actually, while sitting Buddha style with her back against the foot of the leather couch, in the position Charlie taught her to sue when "busy" with meditation, she tries to NOT think about it, to empty her mind.
Or to find some reason into this madness, as probably Lisbon, sitting on a chair in front of her, is trying to do as well, trying (and failing) to conceal her worries for the man Donovan has found out is probably her brother, Patrick Jane.
"First, I wanted to say how sorry I am for both Crews' attitude and mine. Of course, I can talk for him, but maybe I've been a bit exaggerated in my reaction to your questions, it's just that I'm not used to being questioned, and I can be pretty defensive when it comes to my cases. Second, I want you to understand that I don't know it" she tells Lisbon, awakening the dark haired agent from her reverie, almost staring for an instant at her with those blue eyes that Lisbon knows too well, closing them for a while for breathing in and out, trying to focus, to look at things from the outside.
"I'm sorry? I was kind of lost in my thoughts, and I haven't heard you. You were saying?"
"I said I'm sorry for the way both Crews and I tended to misbehave when you questioned me at my place" she says, and Lisbon doesn't miss the fact that Donovan didn't refer to the place as "home", but simply a place "and that I don't know who could know I'm a Jane, that I may be a Jane, I mean"
"You really didn't know about your father? Nothing, not even his first name, where they met…"
"The space on the documents where the father's name was supposed to be was empty. I never asked and mum never talked."
In her chair, Lisbon reflects, looking at the woman standing in front of her; Donovan may have never meet her "half-brother" before, but the similarities between them are scary, and she isn't thinking about only the obvious blue eyes.
She realizes, as she joins the detective on the carpet, that Donovan will never talk, not alone; just like with Patrick, she'll have to force the answers out of her, and even then, they'll probably be short and essential in few cases, elaborated to move her focus away from the brown-head in others.
"Weren't you curious?"
"Well" she starts, hugging her knees and turning to Lisbon "I was, when I was just a little girl. I think I got tired of hearing my mum's silences when I asked her about him, so I stopped. At the end, I didn't care any longer, because I was too used to being just the two of us"
"And… you've never thought about the fact that maybe he had… abandoned you?"
"To be honest, no, I've never considered this idea. It was easier and less painful believing my dad was donator #3456. When I was older, and I realized what happened…" Lisbon looks at her almost crying, wide eyes, in shock, clearly misunderstanding her words, and when the agent is already making her question, Donovan stops her, shaking her head "relax, Agent Lisbon, nothing like that happened. My parents were as in love as they could be. But it doesn't mean that my mother didn't suffer, that she wasn't scared or that Alexander Jane didn't hurt her, on an emotional level only, of course. I just know that every time a man seemed interested in her, I saw that despair and longing in her eyes…" she pauses, almost laughing "It's strange, but when I've learned the truth, I hated for a long time her the most"
"I thought you didn't know who your father was."
"I didn't, in fact. She left me the photographs and a letter, with few random facts, told me they met at a carnie near Santa Barbara during the summer of her 25th birthday, that he was close to his forties, that he saved her from a group of drunken guys who were harassing her. Told me he offered her food and cold water because she was in shock and scared, and left without telling her his name, she told me she come back there every day until they met again, they talked, that one day he invited her over to dinner, one thing led to another and, at the end of the summer, she found out she was pregnant. And she kind of forget to mention that somewhere out there, there was a brother of mine" she pauses, looking not at Lisbon, but in the void, a point behind the dark haired agent's shoulders, lost in her won world, and Lisbon isn't sure if the following words are said to her or by Donovan to Donovan herself "When I was little, I used to dream that my father had children out there, and that one day we were all going to meet and be a normal and plain family. Guess that the first part of my whish just got true…"
"Did he know? I mean, Jane didn't know of your mother or of you, but maybe, Alexander, his father… your father, I mean, maybe he did and…"
"She never told him, of that I'm sure, but if he was aware of me being on the way… I can't say it for sure. Mum said he was very… intuitive. He said I was a bit like him in that department. And like your consultant, Patrick I mean, from what I saw." Donovan pauses again, looking at her feet, lost in her own thoughts, contemplating the truth she has tried to not face in all these years "Mum… she said they were in love with each other, she said Alexander loved her back, and the 3 months they spent together had been the best of both their lives, but… you heard what Jane said. He was a man who walked between legality and illegality, and… she didn't want this for her child, for me. Apparently because she had seen what he was doing to HIS OWN child? She left, never got married, out of guilt or because she was still in love with him, I can't say. And there we are, end of the story."
"How can you not care about it? How can you not be bothered by all of this?" she asks her not with indignation, but, well, a bit shaken. That's another trait that Donovan seems to have in common with her "half-brother", this calmness, this apparent "beatitude". Nothing seems to bother them, if not people or pointless things.
"Agent Lisbon" she calmly states "deep down, I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I'm freaking out. I'm scared. But I'm a good performer. Besides, to keep my mind busy, I'm mentally going through all my cases and putting down notes about an essay about the anthropological meaning of vampirism and of the extremist Goth movement in modern criminology in this Country."
"Nice, I'm sure it helps to sleep, thinking about people who think they are vampires and drink blood…"
"The fact that I'm an not only an expert in chemistry but an anthropologist as well helps me to understand such movements better, it helps me to focus on the psychological aspect of crimes, and it gives me a better insight. We may say my knowledge gives me a hint at the mechanisms of the human mind. The rest of the work, it's because I'm quite good at picking up the details, big or small. If I know how a mind works, it's a bit like knowing where I'm supposed to look for evidences, we can say. I think it's the reason why, at the end, when it came to choosing what to do, I accepted to be part of a Crime Lab. "
"Just like our Jane, knowing the darkest secrets and deep angles of the human mind, always busy picking up every single detail, as pointless as it may seem." Lisbon replies smiling with a hint of a blush on her face.
"Speaking of which, I was wondering how long the two of you have been together and why you don't wear your wedding ring…"
"Wait, what? No! There's nothing between us! He is, he is Jane, for crying out loud! That's HIS wedding ring, not ours! We work together! We can't date! And even if we were interested in each other, there are too many things between us, and, besides, as I already said, HE IS JANE!"
"And I'm pretty sure you are realizing you are blushing and rambling" She smiles, coming back into meditative position, as she looks in front of herself at closed eyes, feeling Lisbon's gaze on her.
"Are you sure you need the DNA tests? Because I just know it will come back positive. There's no way you and Patrick Jane are not related"
"Is that a compliment or an insult, Agent Lisbon?" she asks with amusement, clearly enjoying the company even given the circumstances. It's been too long since she has even only tried to behave normally with someone she doesn't directly work with. The only person she could behave this way with was Bobby, and even with him, it was different. Maybe, she wonders, she is doing all of this not just to HAVE company and enjoy it, even given the horrible circumstances, but mostly because she hopes that, if she'll tell something to Lisbon about herself, the dark haired agent will tell her something in return, something about her brother, a brother she never knew she had.
"Think about your so-called half-brother, and give yourself an answer"
"Well, if we consider the closing cases rate, I'd say it's a compliment, since my closing cases is quite good as well…"
"Yeah, I had that impression while we were going through that mountain of closed cases…"
"I'm proud to say that I have an average of 17 cases closed each month. I'm currently detective Sergeant, and I'm planning of making to captain around the age of forty. My personal dream is of turning the LAPD crime lab in one of the best of the Country." she pauses again, looking worried at her feet "Of course, if we examine the messing around, manipulating, misleading and annoying the hell out of people, and I'd say you are insulting me"
"Like I said, like brother, like sister…"
Donovan didn't even answer Lisbon, but, simply, smiles at her "Ehy, do you want to try yoga or Zen meditation? You seemed to envy me while I was trying to calm down my inner nerves…"
"No funny business, promise?"
"I usually behave when it concerns other cops. Besides, I'd not mind the company for once"
"Why do I have the impression that it's one of those scout promises?" Lisbon says, more to herself than to Donovan while the dark haired cop just shakes her head.
Donovan just laughs under her teeth, not even trying to make sense of Lisbon's last sentence, said with a bright smile and a hint of blushing.
She is just sure it concerns her "brother".
