*Voldemort voice comes over a random magical intercom* TARA, I NOW SPEAK DIRECTLY TO YOU. I HATE YOU WITH THE BLAZING PASSION OF TEN THOUSAND SUNS. YOU HAVE MUTILATED THE POTTERVERSE. THERE IS NO GREATER DISHONER. COME TO ME IN THE FORBIDDEN FOREST TO MEET YOUR FATE.
AN: I sed stup flaming ok ebony's name is ENOBY nut mary su OK! (Okay, we go from Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven way to Enoby Nut Mary Su Ok. Sure, it even rhyms!) (Luna, you're letting her get to you! Rhymes: spelled r h y m e s.) (*eye twitches* I won the spelling bee! C'mon, Enoby, spare my brain!) DRACO IS SOO IN LUV wif her dat he is acting defrent! dey nu eechodder (wtf is an eechodder….) (A disgusting otter, perhaps?) b4 ok! (I promise you, I never let my Drakie even see this girl… WHO IS HE AND WHAT HAS HE DONE WITH MY DRAKIE?)
"DRACO!" I shouted. "What the fuck do you think you are doing?" (Ya! Die, Imposta!)
Draco didn't answer but he stopped the flying car and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously. (And we both plummeted to our deaths.)
"What the fucking hell?" I asked angrily. (As we plummeted to our deaths.)
"Ebony?" he asked.
"What?" I snapped.
Draco leaned in extra-close (As we continued to fall.) and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing color contacts) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn't feel mad anymore. (… What? The "depressing sorrow and evilness" made you not want to feel mad anymore?)
And then... suddenly just as I Draco kissed me passionately. (That sentence makes absolutely no sense. At all.) Draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. (DAMMIT! It musta caught them as they fell…stupid mother nature. Mother Nature: What did you just say! Me: Sorry! Don't make it snow and rain again!) He took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my bra. Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time. (That. Was. So. Hot.) (But… wait. You were wearing… *goes to copy/paste*… "…black lace-up boots with high heels. Underneath them were ripped red fishnets. Then… a black leather minidress with all this corset stuff on the back and front.…matching fishnet on my arms…." So… Draco took off your top… the black leather mini-dress? And you took off his clothes… "a Simple Plan t-shirt…, baggy black skater pants,…" Okay… But you didn't say you were wearing a bra… so did you take off the corset stuff? Alright, assuming that's what you meant, he put his "thingie" into your "you-know-what" and you "did it for the first time". So, you did this with fishnet and black lace up heeled boots on? I suppose that's possible… but I would have assumed you were wearing underwear other than the "corset stuff", which I actually thought was built into the dress. Silly me.) (Whoa.)
"Oh! Oh! Oh! " I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere (Including that magical tree that saved your fall.) and my pale body became all warm. And then...
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!" (I YELLED!) (These really are horribly misspelled…)
It was...Dumbledore! (*spit take,* I love Dumbledore. That is, until he goes all Avril Lavigne on us. Seriously, that's hilarious! I just flipped my shit. Tara, you just made my day.) (I think I like this Dumbledore much more than the manipulative, uncaring old bastard we see in the books. He actually cares that his students are having sex in the Forbidden Forest. Good old Dumbles. Then again, I find it hard to believe he would ever, ever swear directly at a student.)
Ta-ta for now, m'darlings! We'll kill more brain cells (Hint-hint, Luna) (I loathe you.) in the next chapter, I promise. Now the Crazy must go read Bellatrix fanfictions… CUZ I CAN. (Anyone catch the P!nk reference? Anyone?
