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Seven years ago I awoke from what I thought was a horrible nightmare. I rushed to my mother's room, wanting her to tell me it hadn't happened, but she wasn't there. I ran to Aunt Jule's room. She, too, was gone.
I raced downstairs, out of the house, and down to the water, it was hardly dawn. Aunt Jule was standing at the end of the dock, staring a a piling. She heard my footsteps and flipped around. In her hands she held a bucket, and a scrub brush. As I got even closer I could smell bleach. Aunt Jule opened her mouth as if to tell me to go back, but it was too late. I saw that the piling was stained, dark colored, reddish. It was blood, my mothers blood. I threw up.
I hadn't been to the dock since that morning, though I had spent about three more weeks at Aunt Jule's that summer. Now seven years after that day, I needed to see where my mother had fallen, to walk out on the dock and touch the piling that Aunt Jule had scrubbed clean. The thought of it, still, made my stomach knot up.
I had no idea how Aunt Jule paid her bills. Abandoned crafts were thrown throughout the house. Aunt Jule was very talented, but she didn't have the patience to earn a living that way. The weird thing I had never seen her worrying about money. It seemed that whatever she needed, just materialized.
I re-entered the house and walked down the stairs. I reached the bottom steps and heard voices in the living room.
"Just think about it mom" Holly said "You know you've never been able to handle a camera. Remember the pictures you took for the Christmas dance? None of us had feet."
"I don't find that amusing" Aunt Jule said
Seeing me at the door Aunt Jule gave a small wave and continued her quilting.
"Anyway like it or not" Holly continued, "Frank is coming over to take pictures before the prom. Nick's parents are going to want pictures to, and-"
"Nick?" I asked entering the room
"Nick Jonas" she said smiling
"Franks nephew?" I asked
"Yes, we're dating" she replied
I looked at her surprised. Remembering Nick said two was the limit.
"We've been friends forever of course" she went on "Now Nick finally see's our connection. If he hasn't he will" she said laughing
I laughed with her, not thinking of my disappointment.
"Wait till you see him. He isn't that little round faced kid anymore" she said
"I know. I saw him at the festival on my way here. I dunked him twice.
"You were at the festival?" Holly asked her smile disappearing "At my schools dunking booth?"
"I was walking through town and happened to pas sit" I replied
She smiled "It will be like old times, he's coming over later!"
"I'm guessing you visited Heather's grave?" Aunt Jule asked
"I didn't, but tomorrow I will. I need to take things one at a time" I replied "It's kind of hard coming back here to Wisteria, it's not all happy memories."
"Well we are beyond thoss unhappy times" Aunt Jule said "Seven years past" she said
"Yes, but when I came back today, it seemed like it happened just yesterday" I said
"Well you shouldn't have waited so long" she replied
I was shocked at her chilling tone of voice. "Well my mother died here" I said defensively "You can't expect me to think of it as a vacation spot"
"It's where you were born" Aunt Jule said "It's where you spent some of your best times"
"Yes but-" I started
"It is time you get over Heather's death, Lilly, I mean she wasn't exactly mother of the year"
That remark hurt. "Yes, I know, but she was my mother. Excuse me, I am going for a walk"
I turned abruptly. I left through the dining room to the porch. I thought Aunt Jule would be more understanding, but bitterness from that summer obviously stayed with her. It seemed to me that it was Aunt Jule, who hadn't left that summer behind completely.
I walked along the grass. I paused and looked at the dock. I started walking the slope to it. Putting my hands on the dock, I swung myself onto it. I stood up slowly, my eyes looking down the walkway of the dock. I shifted to the left, where the piling lay. The piling that my mother had struck her head on.
Maybe she was drinking. It was after all easy to trip on the uneven planks. The tide was high that night, the water would lay just over her head. It would take little for a person to die. Aunt Jule had always told me it was nobody's fault.
Yet, I felt responsible. My mother had refused to let me visit Aunt Jule that summer. The more clingy she had become to me, the more I wanted to get away. I would throw horrible tantrums, until she gave in, with the condition that she would go with me. If I hadn't argued we wouldn't have come. Would she be alive?
I couldn't walk down to the end of the dock, not yet anyway. I jumped off the dock and climbed up the hill to the house.
My mother had become even worse in Wisteria, still clinging, not wanting me to play with Jane and Holly. She would blame them for things. She would tell them that I was to good for them, in front of them. Poor Holly was so caught up in either ignoring me entirely, or trying to be my best friend, just to get my mother worked up.
Holly and Jane had both fought back with words, showing the anger I hid. Then my mom drowned. What do you do with your anger when the person you are mad at goes off and dies? Bury it inside of you?
I circled the house to the garden, hoping that they could give me the peace I had there as a child. I passed my favorite tree. A huge oak with an old swing on it. Someone had tied a new rope on it. The garden had also been cared for, they looked batter than they had 7 years ago. My heart lightened.
A green house stood not far from the garden. It was built in the 1900's and there were roof vents on it. The roof vents and the door were open. When I peeked in I found Jane tending to some plants. She was very focused on her work, her fingers moving across the colorful plants. She didn't notice me. I stepped inside. She looked up, her eyes darted fearfully around the green house. I thought she had noticed me walk in, but she glanced over me as if I weren't there.
I walked in more.
"Hi Jane" I said
This time she looked up and saw me. "I don't want you here" she replied
I walked towards her "In the greenhouse, or at your mothers?" I asked
She remained silent
"Why don't you want me here?" I questioned
She moved to a different row of plants focusing on them.
"Jane, why don't you like me anymore?" I asked
"I don't remember" she replied
"Please try to" I said
She pressed her lips together tightly and nervously fingered her dark, greasy hair. I really wish Aunt Jule would make her wash it.
"I'm busy" she said "Do you want to see my vines" she asked suddenly interested in me.
"Sure" I replied
She led me outside talking about something, I was blocking her out though. I wanted to know what was wrong with her, what had happened while I was gone?
"Will you get some fishing line?" she asked "I use it to tie up my plants"
"There is fishing line in the boat house. Will you get it?" she asked "I don't go in there . It's full of water"
"No problem" I replied
"You'll need the key" she said
"It's locked? Why?" I asked
"Because she is in there. She goes there to sleep during the day" Jane said fidgeting
"Who?" I asked my breath caught in my throat
"Heather" she replied simply
She looked absolutely serious. A chill went up my spine.
"I'll show you where the key is" she said
She handed me the key, and we walked back to the boat house, I opened the door and stepped inside.
"Do you see her?" Jane asked
"No" I replied
"She's asleep" Jane said "All night she swims out by the dock, then she comes here at dawn. She wants to stay in the darkness" Jane explained
"That makes no sense" I said "Why would she want to do that?"
"She's looking for her little girl" Jane said
My throat felt tight. This was just to strange.
"Where is the fishing line Jane?" I asked
"In the loft" she answered
It was pitch dark, and hard to see, but I remembered where the loft was. I continued on, hoping that by doing this task I would earn Jane's trust, and prove to her that my mother wasn't here. I started to the ladder that led to the loft.
"Don't close the door Jane" I called to her "Did you here me? I need all the light I can get. Jane don't-"
The door was shut.
"Jane!" I shouted "Jane Ja-ne!
I was stuck...
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