Sasuke felt like he was dragging himself around, as if there was a weight on his body, but he had a fire beneath his feet that kept him moving.
The morning of his first day back to classes he woke up to the sounds of footsteps that reminded him that there was another being in the house, but that they weren't his parents because he could actually hear her moving around, and he'd never been able to hear them. Still, there was something about simply hearing that another person was awake, still walking and living where others were not, it was a small comfort.
A comfort he didn't want to need.
That was probably when the anger set in.
息に身は死に身
Yuri had prepared herself and Sasuke a light morning meal, and was just heading over to his room to wake him up when he came into the dining room all dressed and prepared to leave. She gave him a cursory glance as she set everything down, and before he could make a slip outside, she grabbed hold of his collar and sat him at the table with a pair of chopsticks.
It was a very unconscious patting of his head that met the slapping of his hand, and she jumped a bit in surprise. Yuri looked down at the boy and saw the angles of his eyes meet hers with a glare. She frowned. Moody boy.
She decided not to take it personally, he didn't want her touching him, which was fine, but he still had to eat and she wouldn't let him leave without food.
"Eat," she told him, and sat across from him to have her own share.
Meals with him were always quiet, in fact the house hardly had sound aside from the pattering of her footsteps. She hadn't realized how light a shinobi's footwork was until she'd felt she'd had a heart attack when Sasuke came out of no where. It'd happened several times now, and each time served her the reminder that they were both different creatures.
The silence, she was starting to realize, was probably not a good thing. Children needed enjoyment and sound in their life, not to wallow in their sadness and despair, to become jaded by living so soon. She couldn't help what had happened, that was unchangeable. Still, it was a daunting task to undertake, and she supposed that was the price she paid in taking "the easy way" out.
(It had not been easy.)
It was daunting in that she knew words weren't the sealant, as powerful as they were. It had taken Naruto years to bring her new charge to his knees, and she was just some girl. But with this face she was also family.
And what exactly did that mean? Family?
In the past it would have meant several things. When she was little and Baba was still around, it meant warmth and happiness, safety and love. Then it became cold and chilling. Perhaps that's how it was for Sasuke, she was all he had left, and he didn't even realize that he didn't even really have her. Her as in Hiyori.
Still, she was not Hiyori, but now she was. The night she'd finally taken a good look at herself was when she'd realized that. She hadn't asked for it, but now it was unchangeable.
That meant she and Sasuke lived beneath the same crimson banner, and wore the fan crest on their clothing. She herself had found where Hiyori had lived and had taken a few items of the girls wardrobe to Sasuke's house. She slept in the guest bedroom and was settling the families affairs as if she was one of them. She supposed she now was.
She frowned as Sasuke stood up and headed towards the kitchen. She heard the clattering of the dishes in the sink. "Your bento for lunch is right on the corner, make sure to grab it!"
She didn't hear a response, but then again, she didn't expect to.
When Yuri was done with the meal she set about cleaning up and sighed when she crossed into the kitchen to find the bento still there.
She didn't know whether to feel disheartened, upset, or worried.
Was it because it was her?
She sighed. She didn't know where the Academy even was . . .
Would it be strange for someone not to know if she asked someone in the streets? All of her clothes wore the same emblem, so wouldn't it be odd? An Uchiha asking for directions? In a village she should know like the back of her hand?
It didn't matter, she had to ask so she had to ask, because she wasn't about to let her hard work go to the compost or his tummy not to be filled.
After she was done cleaning up she took Sasuke's lunch and, as nervous as she was, stepped outside of the compound and into the streets of Konoha.
She hoped she would remember how to get back . . . Could she blame it on being directionless? Like, "ahah, silly me, I just don't really know my lefts from my rights, y'know? Eheheh~!"
Yuri balked at the idea, and in that moment wanted to slap herself. It didn't matter! She'd just have to do it anyways.
For some reason she felt light as she made her way down the streets in search of another person. She wasn't surprised the area was so dismal. Of course people would be avoiding an area where just recently the streets were painted red. Still, despite that, a part of her felt as free as a leaf. She smiled—actually smiled!—at the thought. A leaf, here in Konoha. It was as if the more she walked, the more she was distancing herself from her past and heading into a different future.
Yuri realized she would have to grow stronger, and to do so she had to no longer live as selfishly as she had before, rather . . . her grip on the bento tightened. Rather, Yuri had to live for someone else. And that someone else looked a lot like the current her.
She found a mother and daughter pair walking the streets, a seeming cloud covering their wake. That wasn't surprising either.
"H-hello!" Yuri called, and the mother looked back at her, a frown dashing across her face. "Do you know where the Academy is?"
"Which one?" the woman responded, and Yuri paused. There was more than one? Of course there more than one!
"S-shinobi!" What else was there to add?
The woman's frown deepened, "It's just down the street."
Oh . . . oh. She felt like an idiot, but it couldn't be helped.
So not too far from the compound. Yuri thanked the woman, her face probably a bright red from embarrassment and headed towards the direction of where the school was. She hoped there was only one shinobi academy, and if this wasn't the one Sasuke went to, she'd have to be more . . . eloquent. She simply hoped this was it.
It being quite early, there were still some children walking through the gates, a familiar gate she'd seen before. She felt a sigh leave her body, this was it then.
Now just to find where that brat had gone.
That turned out to be rather easy. It being Sasuke's first day back she just had to follow the sounds of squealing girls. She saw him by himself, completely ignoring the others around him, with a book in his hand. She wondered what it was about, if he enjoyed novels and the like, such as she did. Or maybe it was something for school, she had no idea what the Academy taught and what was required.
Her legs were so damn short now it took a bit of time to get close enough to call his name, "Sasuke-kun!" He looked up, and she could see a touch of irritation in the way he quirked his eyebrow down. He didn't make any efforts to address her, and seemed prepared to ignore her, too.
"You forgot your lunch," she said and was surprised by how pleasant she sounded despite her nervousness.
It wasn't fun being rebuffed by a seven year old, but she could be an understanding person. Sasuke most likely didn't want to be coddled; maybe in the weeks she'd been in the hospital and he'd been on his own, he'd grown attached to something comfortable in having no one. She wasn't sure but she'd been much the same, feeling safe unattached to anyone and yet yearning for it all the same. Did Sasuke yearn, too?
"Is that his cousin? I thought they all died."
"What? What happened? I just thought he'd been sick."
"He wasn't sick, you dummy."
Sasuke's jaw ticked, and her fists clenched.
"Please eat," Yuri said and drew closer to the boy. She sat the bento beside him, and wished she could do something to ease the heartache and misery reflected in his coal eyes. Hated how they didn't shine the way they were meant to. "What time do your classes end?"
"Tch," his eyes glared daggers at her, but that was okay because she'd just ask one of his classmates or teacher. Feeling brave, she patted him on the shoulder, and started formulating plans in her head.
Like she'd expected, he swatted her fingers away before grabbing the box and stalking away. She sighed. What to do.
息に身は死に身
Yuri found a map. A map that was pretty much her godsend, and helped her in every facet of her day when she'd asked the Academy attendant for a copy while she'd been there. They'd of course thought it weird, but hey, they knew she was an Uchiha, and knew it could be something medical for her lapse in memory. Right?
When she'd gotten back to the compound she'd decided to go shopping for much needed necessities before heading out into the city. She was considering looking for smaller apartments near or around the Compound's area, mostly because she really didn't think it was healthy for herself or for her little charge to be in that tomb. She didn't know where they'd go, but she did know they did need to stay together.
It was strange because he was technically by (an idiotic) law allowed to live on his own? And she didn't have custody in any sort of way, so she was looking to fix that as well. That reminded her, she needed to find books on their laws, because this place was backwards and just odd most times and she didn't know what was illegal and what wasn't. She only knew about Sasuke's status because of her involvements in the Uchiha's affairs. That had been a real kicker.
Because while Yuri was not Hiyori, she was now, and she had to be the best Hiyori she could be. It helped that their names didn't sound too different.
Her first stop was to a book store. While there she found several books on parenting, some philosophy books the clerk recommended, and the much needed book of shinobi guidelines and laws. She'd also gotten a few recreational books she'd been curious about, Jiraiya's Gutsy Ninja and a few of his romances. (She wondered if the latter would ruin his character for her, but hey, while in Konoha, right?)
Her next stop would have been grocery shopping, but seeing as she was one person with no muscles to speak of, she'd have to go when Sasuke and her were both free. Or maybe she'd hire genin.
Speaking of genin, she'd seen a few of them dashing across the rooftops and it was every bit as funny to watch as it'd been in the show, or more when people who looked real did it. Her mind had short circuited seeing it though, her thoughts paralleling, that's some great cosplay, they're very athletic, before remembering herself. Oh, yeah.
She tapped her chin, ignoring the flipflopping of her stomach. She wanted to find a way to liven the place they were staying at while she was looking for different housing. Perhaps there was music players and she could find some nice tracks. She wondered on the technology of the world, but then remembered she'd definitely seen a T.V. being sold in one of the windows she'd passed.
She hadn't seen one in the house, but maybe Mikoto and Fugaku had been very old fashioned, and not really with the times.
Yuri circled back and found the electronics shop she'd seen the T.V. in and while there purchased a CD player she'd found, a decent sized television set with something similar to a DVD player and placed it as an order to be delivered to the compound in the coming days.
Her hands were already full of her books, so while she'd wanted to search for movies she and Sasuke could watch together, things for kids and the like, she knew she'd grow too tired. She should have brought some type of bag with her.
She'd have to look for one at the house, uncomfortable with spending frivolous money on herself when she'd already bought a few unnecessary books. The money she was using belonged to the Uchiha after all, and she'd been paid a sizeable amount for . . . she supposed the village not having protected them sufficiently. She should find a way to sue them really, but she wasn't greedy. She just wanted reparations for Sasuke.
With the amount of money she now possessed from the wills of others, the village itself, and the pool that had already been the clans before, she couldn't see herself or Sasuke ever needing to work a day in their lives, but there was something . . . sickening about that.
As if feeding on the dead. She didn't like having gained from others ceasing to exist.
Yuri would have to find a job, if only to save her conscious and put the money back into things more positive for Sasuke. The hours would have to be the same as the Academy's because she wanted to be available for him always, but she'd have to look around, see what was available.
She went home instead of shopping for more things, and got started on preparing an after school snack for her ward, just in case he didn't eat his lunch like she'd told him. She knew he didn't like sweets, but Yuri always had so she'd baked herself some matcha tea cakes just to take her mind off of things after she was done making him a few sandwiches which she placed in the cooler to keep fresh.
Afterwards she'd gotten to reading, setting a timer to alert her when the Academy would release.
It was an hour into her reading a parenting book on a section for grieving that she realized she should be providing Sasuke with outside play, but not training. He'd been doing a lot of that while she'd been learning more about the Uchiha's affairs, but she supposed she'd have to find something for them to do together.
She knew he wouldn't appreciate walks, but, hm. Her first thought was gardening—it's something she and her grandmother had done a lot before she passed.
They could plant tomatoes. Sasuke liked tomatoes.
When the buzzer rang she silenced it, set her book down and made her way out of the compound and to the Academy.
Yuri was getting a bit more comfortable coming and going, but still she had that tremor in her chest.
Some kids were already leaving by the time she arrived, and she caught her ward just as he was slipping past the gates. Some of the kids parted for him as he moved, unsure of where they stood. It was obvious none of them really understood or knew how to come to terms with what happened, which was understandable. They may be training to be child soldiers, but they were still children.
She caught him by the scruff of his neck, and pulled him to a stop. He had probably sensed her somehow before because he didn't react in surprise or shock. He simply drew his face upwards at her and gave her a look that said, "the hell do you want?"
Instead of saying anything, she pulled at the sleeve of his arm and grasped for his hand. He tried to pull away, but she held fast. She knew he didn't really hate it when he didn't use the brunt of his strength to push her away, the way she knew he could. Yuri wasn't that strong of a girl in Hiyori's body.
She noted the box in his hand and wondered if she'd have food to throw out or dishes to clean.
It didn't matter though, she was holding hands with her ward while they walked home, and to her that was some sort of progress.
息に身は死に身
Later, the dishes of his lunchbox were wiped down and set aside for tomorrow for another use.
A/N: I drew a cover for this :D so yah and yah. Hope you like it, also hope you're enjoying this story! c:
息に身は死に身 — iki ni mi wa shi ni mi — lit. a breathing body is a dead body. It's a proverb which means, 'to live is to die".
