I Can See It
"You have noticed that any promise you have ever made me, you have broken, right?"
"I have not," Shepard responded.
"Have to."
"Have not."
"You told me you would stay out harm's way."
"And I did, until Bleu threatened your safety, what was I supposed to do just sit around?"
"True, but you could have put the gun down after you had gotten the answer you needed."
Shepard looked down at the woman who laid in his arms. She was dressed in nothing but his "N7" T-Shirt and wore her hair down as always. Shepard couldn't stop looking at her. She was so beautiful. She had placed her arms around Shepard's chest waiting for a response.
"Yeah, I could have done that. But who's to say that he wouldn't have tried to hurt you."
"How about when you told me that after the Collectors you would take me on a real date?"
"I am, I mean, I was going to take you on a real date, but you know…"
"Yeah I do know…you left me. Which brings me back to the next promise you broke."
Shepard sighed, he had known that he had disappointed Miranda; but what he had done was never intentional, it just was just the way things seemed to work out.
"And what promise was that," Shepard questioned.
"You promised that you would love me more than all of the stars in the sky."
Shepard look up at Miranda, finally seeing what he had refused to see two months ago. He finally saw the way he broke her heart. Shepard moved Miranda's arm from his chest and turned onto his side to face Miranda. Shepard placed his thumb underneath her chin and forced her to look into his eyes.
"I still do. I never stopped Miranda, you have to know that. I've just…I've just lost my way. But I'm trying hard to be the man that you loved again, it's just..."
Shepard looked away.
"It's not easy."
Miranda placed her hands on the sides of Shepard's face and bought his forehead to hers. Shepard closed his eyes, breathing in the smell of Miranda and taking in her touch he had long for.
"You will always be the man I love John. No matter what you do. Nothing and no one will ever change that. But you have to stop punishing yourself for the things you cannot control. You have done everything right. You have warned the Council and protected me and the crew. Now it's time that you stop worrying about us and take care of yourself. We will be fine. I will be fine. And whether or not you decide that you want to put this angry man aside, and come back as the John Shepard we all know and love, I will still be here. Waiting for you."
"Happily," Shepard whispered refusing to open his eyes.
Miranda smiled.
"Forever and always," she responded.
Miranda bought Shepard's face closer and drew his lips to her own. Shepard grabbed Miranda's hips and bought her body into his, deepening the kiss. He didn't want this moment to ever end. Miranda leaned her head back, breaking the kiss, and looked into the eyes of the man she loved.
"John?"
Shepard's eyes were still closed attempting to stay in that moment for just a second more.
"Yeah," he replied.
"You have to wake up now."
Shepard opened his eyes, staring questionably at Miranda.
Shepard woke up on the floor gasping for air yet again, only this time he hadn't been lying on the floor of the integration room. Rather, somewhere much darker and more unwelcoming. Shepard attempted to stand up but the pain in his chest was too unbearable to move. He threw his head back and decided to access the room from the floor.
The walls were closed in. Shepard had been placed in the middle of the chilled chamber. He could see that the connected corners formed a square room in which he had now been expected to reside. The walls weren't of dull paint, like the room given to him by the Alliance, but rather made of metal that dully attempted to reflect back the room. The back wall of the cell showed a small window, so small that Shepard almost didn't notice it. In the corner of the ceiling were moths fluttering about, attempting to escape the web that entrapped them or merge with the dismal light that lit the room.
The room simply held a bed and a toilet. Shepard had noticed that the bed lacked a decent mattress and stood on a rusted frame. He also noticed it was fit for a child.
After moments of processing, Shepard finally realized where he had been. He had sent men to rooms like this for years, keeping them away from society until they would be reassigned to the prisons that could handle them. Maximum security, which included top notch Specter security guards and all the time in the world for a criminal to think about what they have done. Oh yes, Shepard knew all too well where he had been.
The Alliance placed Shepard in a holding cell for the highest security risk criminals.
Shepard rolled onto his stomach, gasping in pain. He then forced his hands to push his weight off of the floor and onto his feet. Shepard walked towards the door and started punch against its frame.
Bang, Bang, Bang.
"Hello, "Shepard screamed, "is anyone out there?"
No one responded.
Shepard decided to try again.
"Hey, I said 'is anyone out there?'".
Shepard held himself up against the door frame for a second, waiting for a response. He could hear the Specters outside scurry and whispering about whether or not they should "engage" with the criminal. Shepard was appalled. He was not a criminal and he did not deserve to be in the prison cell, or shot at for that matter.
Wait, I was shot at.
Shepard lifted up his shirt only to find contusions and a few open wounds. Nothing damaging.
Shepard scoffed, "Dumb asses can't even shoot straight."
Shepard dropped his shirt down and continued to bang on the door.
"Okay, don't act like you guys aren't out there. I can hear you. Look, I'm not asking for you to let me out, just let me speak to the officer in charge."
The scurrying of the men continued, Shepard sighed and pushed himself off the frame of the door. He hobbled his way towards the bed and dropped his weight back onto the floor. Shepard might have been injured but there was no way he was going to let himself collapsed on the already brittle bed frame.
He threw his head back and listened to the men scamper around in search of a solution.
As he let the pain in his chest slowly rock him to sleep.
"I don't see what you see," Garrus shouted at Shepard while calibrating the gun.
"What do you mean you don't see what I see? Garrus it's pretty simple. She is beautiful, she is funny, she is smart, she is—"
"See Shepard, all that stuff right there, I don't see any of that. I mean I see the beauty portion and I know she is smart. Hell, she bought you back from the dead, but the funny and whatever the hell you were going to say after that. I just don't see it."
"Then tell me what you do see Garrus."
"You wouldn't want me to tell you what I see."
"But I do."
"But you don't."
"Yes I do."
"No, you don't really."
"Dammit Garrus!"
"Fine Shepard, if you insist. She is cold, mean, and quite frankly a bitch."
"A bitch?"
"Yeah, she a huge one. I mean if looks could kill we wouldn't need a team for the suicide mission, we could just send Miranda and let her glare turn them all into stone. I saw Grunt wince yesterday she gave a lecture about the safety of the cargo hold, during lunch in the mess. Grunt, Shepard, I mean since when is he afraid of anyone? So yeah, I don't see what you see, and quite frankly I don't see how you see what you see."
Shepard stood up from the seat he had been sitting at and walked closer to Garrus.
"Garrus, when I look at Miranda I," Shepard smiled, "I see everything I mean…like her eyes. Her eyes are so beautiful and mesmerizing that I could get lost staring in them for the rest of my life and never wish to find my way back. And her, her smile, Garrus it's like a magnificent portrait and I would, spend my last dime trying to buy it, I would spend all of the hours in the day telling all the jokes in the world to keep it on her face. And her laugh—"
"She can laugh?"
Shepard frowned at Garrus.
"Yes, Garrus she laughs. And it's so beautiful. It's like one of those songs that plays continuously in your head and no matter how much it plays it never gets tiring. And her touch…it makes me lose my breath."
Shepard walked closer to Garrus.
"Garrus, I dream of being lost in her eyes, I will go broke and make a fool out of myself to forever see her smile, I will continuously familiarize myself with every melody of her beautiful song, and I will spend the rest of my life trying to catch my breath, I am in love with her. So I don't give a damn if you can't see what I see. Because I can see it, but I need you to act like you do. Cause she is going to be around for a while Garrus and I would like my best friend to be there too."
Garrus walked over to Shepard and looked into his eyes.
Garrus placed his hand upon Shepard's shoulder "You're in love with her?"
Shepard smiled "Yes, very much so."
"Then I can see it to, after all there is no Shepard without Vakarian."
"Thank you Garrus."
Shepard gave the Turian and pat on the arm and headed towards the door, as the door slide open he nearly hit her as he tried to exist the room.
"Hi, John."
"Miranda um…how much of that did you hear."
Miranda smiled, "All of it."
Shepard was awakened by the noise of his door being opened.
"Commander Shepard," a voice said "before I open this door I need you to put your hands in the slot to be handcuffed."
"Guy whose name I don't know, I will not being done that."
"Commander Shepard, I wasn't asking."
Shepard had grown tired of being the angry, and he needed to see someone else besides those who resided in his dreams.
"Fine," Shepard groaned.
Shepard painfully pushed his body off the floor once again and headed towards the door.
"Hold on Commander Shepard, we are being told that you will not be in need of restraints."
"Are you sure? The last guy who thought that didn't end up doing so well."
The door to Shepard's cell opened and Shepard winced at the sight of the foreign light. In stepped a man that Shepard knew all too well.
"I'm sure you wouldn't attack me," he said.
"No, I wouldn't dream of it Anderson."
