Chapter 3 – updated.

Severus stood transfixed as his gaze alighted on the etheric beauty of his one-time best friend. Her green eyes sparkled like emeralds with unshed tears, her hair lit by the light of the wall sconces, shone like burnished copper.

"I'm…glad you understand now Severus," she said quietly. "Thank you for everything you did to protect Harry – even though it was through some debt you felt you owed me rather than because you cared about him."

Severus' lips moved but his voice died in his throat. "I-I…"

It was Sirius who spoke next, pointing an accusing finger at his old adversary. "it's a pity there was no-one to save him from you though, you – "

"Sirius, stop it!" Lily admonished. She approached Severus, almost appearing to glide across the flagstones. Her green eyes met his dark ones and the tear spilled onto her lovely face as she lifted her head to gaze up at him. Sirius muttered under his breath, glowering at Severus whilst Lily spoke. "I'm sorry Severus, that what James and Sirius did to you in school was so bad that you had to take it out on Harry."

He blinked, feeling shame rising up within him as his heart beat wildly in his chest. Should he even feel his heart beat when he was dead? The thought entered his mind fleetingly. "Lily, I'm…sorry!" He shook his head slowly. "I had no idea what his life was really like. I imagined him to be spoiled by his relatives…" His gaze drifted to Dumbledore who was stood to the left of him, a quiet observer. "I wasn't the one who put him with those awful people." He saw Lily bristle. "I know Petunia was your sister Lily, but he was with them for ten years before he came to the castle. You would think closer checks would have been made."

Another tear fell from Lily's beautiful eyes. "I knew Petunia could be spiteful – knew that brute she married would be a bad influence, but I never imagined that she would ever be so cruel. I had hoped," she closed her eyes tightly. When she opened them again, she looked at Severus with a steady gaze. "That when Harry came to Hogwarts, you would look after him, care for him and tell him all about me."

"I know Lily, I'm sorry," he reiterated.

"I hoped you could both be there for each other Sev." Her tone had softened as she spoke to him using the affectionate term she had for him all those years ago – before he had uttered that awful word, before he had lost her forever to that rotten Potter and then to Voldemort's killing curse.

Severus gaze drifted to the floor. It made his heart ache to see Lily so upset. He took a deep breath. Why am I breathing? "I couldn't show him any kindness, I was teaching the children of Death Eaters. I had to be harsh in my treatment of him."

"You could have find a way, Severus." She murmured and turned away from him.

"You appeared to enjoy tormenting him." Snarled Sirius. This time Lily just turned her head and glanced at Severus, but didn't say a word.

"Perhaps if I may interrupt," said Albus, walking forward towards Lily. "it is understandable that emotions are running high at this moment, but if the blame is to lay at anyone's feet then it should, as Severus has pointed out, be mine. Lily, I am truly sorry, that Harry had to suffer at the hands of his relatives, and had there been any other way, I would have seen to it that he was well cared for, but it was the only place where we could ensure his safety from Voldemort. I knew that he would return one day. I kept the truth from Severus, just as I kept the truth from Harry about what he must be told to defeat Voldemort." He glanced over at Severus before continuing. "Severus may not have been a kind man, but he was – in the end – one of the most brave and loyal of any man I have ever come to know."

Severus nodded his thanks. He still felt rotten to the core. He knew that deep down, he could no longer justify his treatment of Harry Potter in his classroom. He had thought the Gryffindor boy, spoilt and arrogant – a miniature carbon copy of the man who had tormented him at school. A man that the boy had only known for the first year and a half of his life. He had made assumptions – wrongly about Harry's home life.

"I would say, that Harry grew up remarkably well adjusted, considering." Remus Lupin stepped out of the shadows and joined Lily and Sirius.

"Lupin – you as well?" Severus raised an eyebrow. "So I have a bloody Gryffindor welcome committee!" He turned to Albus. "Are you sure, I'm not in hell?"

"Probably better than a Slytherin one – considering…"

Severus mouth quirked in a smirk. "You may be right about that Lupin. I imagine if I had survived this war, there would be several people baying for my head on a pike – on both sides."

He walked over to Lily, his footsteps echoing on the flagstones. "I know this won't mean much to you, Lily, but in order for me to maintain my cover as a spy, to protect your son, I spent the final year of my life being despised by just about everyone. No-one will mourn my passing. They will most likely rejoice the death of their most hated professor. Harry will go on living. He will more than likely be given a hero's welcome, be worshipped wherever he goes and have a life of glory." He raised a hand to cut her off, when she opened her mouth to speak. "No, I do not envy him. I don't have any bitterness. I chose my path all those years ago and I've endured a lifetime of regret. I should have listened to you, when you advised – begged me to stay away from the Death Eaters in school. It's too late for me now, but Harry – he was stronger than I ever was. You should be proud of him Lily." His words were sincere and he felt like a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders. "If I could live this life again, I would make different choices."

"We would all make different choices, Severus," said Remus softly. He cocked him head to one side. "Wouldn't we?" He said to Sirius. His friend simply grunted and nodded in response, then stood with his arms folded across his chest, gazing at the floor.

"I would like to think that we have all grown up and learned our lessons from the past," said Albus. "For most of us, it is too late to do anything about it, but for you…" he looked pointedly at Severus, who furrowed his brows in response.

"But…for…me?"

Albus waved his wand and an image developed in the air in front of them. Severus looked down with detached interest as Harry, joined by Minerva McGonagal and Hagrid rushed into the room where his blood soaked body lay propped against the window. He watched as Minerva's hands flew to her lips. "Oh Severus, you poor man."

He smirked. "Well she wasn't saying that to me, last time I saw her, so I can only presume that Mr Potter has…revealed what I showed him in my memories." Albus gave no reply, but moved to stand close to Severus and patted his shoulder.

"Good heavens, he's alive."

Severus eyebrows shot up as far as they could go. "What! How in Merlin's name, what does she mean, I'm still alive? How can I be alive when I'm clearly here with you…" his voice trailed off as he saw the intense gaze that the old man was giving him and the furtive glances between his former classmates. "No!" He shook his head furiously and waggled his finger. "I am not going back!"

"Please Severus?" It was Lily, her green eyes wide and pleading. "Harry has no-one now."

"He has his friends and the entire wizarding community!"

"But with Albus, Sirius and myself, he has no mentor," Remus said, giving a sad smile.

Severus rolled his eyes. "I am hardly mentor material! God knows, I'm the last person, he would take any notice of."

"Really?" Albus' eyes twinkled in the torch light. "Look!"

In the hazy image, a distraught teenage boy was begging his companions. We have to save him!" Harry was almost hysterical. "We can't let him die, not after everything he's done for us." The half giant leaned down and picked up the body of the former Head Master.

"We'll do all we can for him Harry," Minerva said, placing her hand on the boy's arm to comfort him. "But he has lost a lot of blood. He's unconscious."

"I never even checked his breathing. I assumed he was dead – and then Voldemort started speaking, in a really loud voice." Harry's voice faltered.

"It's not your fault Harry, you had so much to deal with – more than any boy your age ever should"

Harry gazed up at her with his huge green eyes – Lily's eyes. "I don't want anyone else to die because of me."

SSSSS

"Please Severus, if you truly cared about Lily." There was no longer any malice in Sirius' voice as he addressed the dark wizard.

"We don't have much time," said Albus.

For the first time, Severus hesitated. Could he go back? What type of life would he have? He screwed his eyes shut. Even in death, it seemed he couldn't get any peace.

When he his eyelids flickered open again, he was assaulted by a bright light. He squinted and tried to raise an arm to shield his eyes, dismayed to discover that he was weak and his limbs felt heavy and could barely move. It took a few seconds for him to realise that he was lying in a bed in the hospital wing. He concentrated, felt the spark of energy as he tried to do wandless magic to shut out he light, but his magical core was damaged and the spark fizzled and died. The sun continued to beam through the tall windows in the Hogwarts infirmary, shining in his face. Oh what fresh new hell is this!

He turned his head and his gaze settled on the silver tabby cat watching him intently.

He blinked. "I didn't know they had employed cats in the medical wing. Or have you come to scratch out my eyes Minerva?" Perhaps it had all been a dream – or a hallucination.

The cat disappeared and in its place was his former colleague. "I bloody ought to scratch you, you silly man. Why on earth couldn't you trust me? Why didn't you tell me that you were still on our side, I could have killed you that night!" Her usual Scottish lilt was full of anguish as her eyes bore into his.

"I hardly think so." He mumbled, his voice gravelly and weak.

"We won, Severus. Harry Potter defeated he-who-must – Voldemort. "

He winced at the name, old habits die hard. He closed his eyes and let out a long slow breath of relief. "I…"

Poppy rushed through the door. "Severus – oh thank Merlin, you are awake. I thought we had lost you." He lay back against the pillow and closed his eyes. Great now he had two women fussing over him like a mother hen with her chicks. He felt a bottle being pressed against his lips. "Drink this Severus." He grimaced at the bitter iron taste of the blood replenishing potion.

Minerva and Poppy exchanged a look. "Listen Severus…"

"When are they coming to take me to Azkaban?"

Minerva shook her head. "They're not but…"

"What is it?"

"Only a few people know that you survived. Harry is trying to clear your name using your memories but – the ward is under a disillusionment charm. No-one apart from a couple of staff members, Harry and the Weasleys know you are alive!"

He gave a weak nod in understanding and turned his head to face the other way. The image of Lily pleading with him was still fresh in his mind. Perhaps he deserved to be in Azkaban but – he could hardly be any use to the boy from there. He knew without a doubt that she would be watching him. He closed his eyes and within minutes was asleep.

Yes I know – another Snape back from the dead story. I had this floating around in my head for weeks so I had to write it.

Please review, I intend to post a new chapter at least once a week