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Tony stood in the middle of the bull pen wondering where everyone was. They weren't at the hospital, Gibbs wasn't at his house, nor were any of them picking up their phones.
'Never be unreachable my ass,' Tony gave a sadistic laugh before pulling out his cell phone, when the call went straight to voicemail Tony just rolled his eyes. "McGoo where are you?"
Tony gave one last sigh before throwing his bag down by his desk, and taking a seat.
He found himself staring at Ziva's desk on more than one occasion, each time he would shake his head, mumble some nonsense, and then just like clockwork, his eyes went right back to her desk.
Tony lifted his feet onto his desk and let his thoughts finally win the battle. He could practically see her smiling face which was brightened by the luminous DC morning light. Her laughter filling the already noisy bull pen, her empty threats and her worries being told through her eyes.
Only sometimes did she voice her worries, and Tony could never forget the way her eyes would shine when she gave an empty threat.
Soon these thoughts of a smiling Ziva were interrupted by a very sick Ziva. Her shining onyx eyes were replaced with a haunted darkness that, even in his mind, scared him. Her laughter was replaced with a chest wrenching cough, as her body wracked forward, trying to get the evil intruder out of her body.
Finally, his thoughts became too much for him to handle. He stood quickly, grabbed his bag and made his way out of the bull pen. He didn't know where he was going but right then anywhere would be better the across from her desk. He had to get away from any reminder of her."
/
"Jethro, that is not what I'm saying. We do not know what caused the plague in our Ziva's body. If it came from Tony, that doesn't mean what you think it means. It could have been spread by a number of ways. Just breathing the same air..."
Gibbs gave a doubtful look to Ducky. "You and I both know that's not true. The plague had to been spread from being in contact with each other. It was in his body. Not on his skin."
"Well, Jethro, it seems you have a lot of speculations. Have you thought of talking to Anthony?"
"No, he's already taking his partner being sick hard-"
"Which is to be expected," Ducky interjected which earned him a glare.
"Yes, McGee caught Tony in her hospital bed earlier this morning, after I told him not to go close to her. I don't need more sick agents. But, if he even expects he could be the cause of her illness-"
"Then our Anthony will be on the road to destruction, once again."
"Exactly," Gibbs smiled half heartfelt at the memory of a time not to long again. "When I drove up to the house they were at, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I knew something was up when Tony called all panicked, but the signal was failing so he never told me what was wrong. You have no idea the haunted look that took place in his eyes."
Gibbs took in a shuddering breath. "Two of Franklin's men where just near the house. I ran them down, than just like that Tony was in the back seat holding Ziva. She was coughing up so much blood... I could see that Tony was panicked. But when he finally looked up at me, I could see he blamed himself. I drove faster once the coughs started getting worse, if that was even possible, then we ran into more trouble when two more of Franklin's men showed up. That's why I don't plan on him finding out the plague even went through his blood-"
"Through whose blood?" both eyes jumped to the doors of autopsy. "Ziva's?"
Ducky just smiled before giving a sympathetic look to Gibbs, who was trying to calm himself. "Why, hello! How are you?"
\
Gibbs saw the confusion in Tony's eyes, and was thankful that something other than worry was going through his mind. "My partner is in the hospital with the plague," Tony dead panned.
Ducky let out a chuckle before adding. "Well why aren't you with her?"
"Gibbs sent McBabysitter to baby sit me. He wouldn't even let me wait in the waiting room."
This time both eyes went to Gibbs. "Well why don't you go see Abby?"
Tony furrowed his eye brows. "Why won't you answer my question?"
Ducky shrugged, followed by Gibbs who spoke. "Maybe you should get some coffee?"
Tony rolled his eyes, but saw no point in arguing further.
/
'Why is everyone acting so weird?' Tony mumbled silently as he made his way down to Abby's lab.
His intentions weren't to spy or eavesdrop on his favorite forensic scientist, but when he heard his name he couldn't help but listen. "Timmy! That's not what I meant! Sure, Tony had no clue what is happening... Yes, Gibbs told me not to repeat it...it would crush him if he knew, but listen, Gibbs told me Tony was coming to the building soon."
Tony took that as his cue to enter, but when he greeted Abby, he couldn't get all the questions out of his head. The main one being, why was everyone avoiding telling him about Ziva's condition?
"You okay, Tony?" Tony looked up and saw the worried look in Abby's eyes.
"Why does everyone keep asking that?" Tony growled.
"Because you're you," Abby rolled her eyes, and then turned to grab the remote to her CD player, when she looked back up her eyes were red and blotchy, clearly she had been crying. The sound of the usually loud music was muted. "You were with her when she got sick."
Tony didn't even notice his eyes had once again moved to the floor, until he looked up at Abby in shock. "What are you saying!"
"Nothing!" Abby fumed back. "Sorry for trying to be concerned."
"Well don't be. Tell Gibbs I'm going to the hospital!"
Tony turned to leave but was stopped when Abby gripped his forearm with a tighter grip than it looked like she could have. "Gibbs told you not to go to the hospital!"
"Why?"
"I do-" Abby tried to defend.
"No, why is everyone keeping me in the dark? She's my partner! Give me one good reason why not to go and then I won't."
Abby just looked at him with a pleading look, "I would if I could-"
"Fine."
Tony stormed out of the lab and up to the bull pen so he could retrieve his bag before heading to the hospital."
/
Tony stood outside the glass room, waiting for the nurse who was currently helping Ziva with her spurt of coughs, they were the worse he had seen by far. So bad that with each cough her face turned purple as they left her gasping for air. Once again, Tony found himself shaking off memories of his own run-in with the plague and he couldn't stop the shudders as he thought about the pain she must be going through, and her case of the plague was worse than his. The female nurse must have realized who he was, because she quickly finished helping Ziva and then nodded, letting him know he could come in.
"Hey, Sweet Cheeks!" Tony said cheerfully before setting his computer down. "How are you feeling?"
She turned and gave him a smile that didn't reach her tired eyes. "I am fine."
"Whatever you say. So for today I brought us a movie." He wagged his eye brows and smiled. "Are you up for it?"
"Do I have a choice?"
"Not really! I thought spending some time around me would cheer you up!"
"Now aren't you modest, but seeing as I don't have a choice, then fine."
Tony just smiled, knowing she wasn't being serious before turning on his lap top and put the movie in. "Um...I-" he looked at Ziva who seemed to get what he was asking and tried, despite her weakness, to shift over in the bed, but her weak body just wouldn't comply, so Tony gently reached down and helped her move.
"I am not that weak, just tired." Her voice was small and filled with sadness, shame, and a hint of resentment.
"It doesn't matter to me. You are always gonna be the strongest person I know."
He gave a reassuring smile, took his place next to her in the bed before gently gathering her into his arms. She didn't seem to mind. "Well what movie?" she asked.
Tony smiled and opened his lap top to reveal a main menu screen filled with a rabbit, a fat bear, and what looked to be a donkey...Well he wasn't sure what it was and according to the look of confusion on Ziva's face, neither did she.
"Winnie the Pooh?" Ziva's burrowed her eyes in confusion.
"Well-" he was interrupted by Ziva hissing in pain as her chest convulsed and her body shook, almost on impulse Tony reached between them and laced their figures together.
Finally, when the coughs subsided, Tony pulled Ziva closer and hit play.
An hour and thirty minutes later, Ziva's smile was the only thing that caused Tony's heart to warm and for a millisecond his fears subsided. That was, however, until she spoke. "My mother had once told me that death is not something to be mourned upon, but instead something to be rejoiced. Death is the beginning of a better life." She tried to turn her head, but once again her illness was making her weaker with each passing second, so Tony shifted so she had his shoulder to rest her head upon. "I believed her until the death of my siblings. Tali...she was just so young, and then Ari."
"Ari?" Tony's voice was thick with venom and at first he worried she would pull away.
"He was not always the monster you saw. At one point in time, he was my big brother. He was the one who would help Ima when she got sick. Not my father. He was never home. Not even the day she died. My point is, being here," she used her free hand to motion around the room, "has made me realize maybe she was right. I am not going to lie. I have my baggage, and you know that, but Tony, I regret so much."
Her voice was cracking and in between sentences she would take a deep breath, her body tiring from so much work, but Tony smiled, and tried to ignore the pang look in her eyes, and the earnestness in her voice. "Like what, Sweet Cheeks?"
"It is...not...something I am proud of, but now that I've learned so much about the truth in these past months... I guess what I'm trying to say is Ari turned bad way before coming to NCIS to kill Kate. I always believed his innocence, but when it came down to his life or Gibbs', I choose Gibbs."
Tony sat there, his hold on her hand slacking with each passing moment, as he realized what she was saying. "You killed Ari? He was your brother."
Okay, wrong choice of words, you jack ass, Tony thought to himself as Ziva shrank back into the bed, her eyes burning into his soul. "He was going to kill Gibbs. But...Eli order me to. That was my real mission, not trying to keep Ari safe, but when I took the mission I believed Ari was innocent. I'm so sorry..."
She looked down, trying to catch her breath. "Hey," he reached a finger under her chin and gently tilted it up, "you have nothing to be sorry for. I should apologize."
Ziva smiled but then her face turned serious again. "I have had some time to think, and I have something else to admit."
"Okay. But maybe this conversation could wait. You need rest."
Ziva shook her head, "This is something you need to know, just in case my…sickness causes some setbacks, you will have the information for the case. I knewFranklin looked familiar, but I could not put a name with the face until now. His name is Robert Delia. I worked a case a few years before coming to NCIS. I think Delia is going by that alias."
"Well that would explain why Fran- Delia was after us. What kind of mission?" His question went unanswered, so he looked down and found Ziva fast asleep.
He was in the middle of packing up when he saw a chart board and couldn't resist snooping, of course the fact he had been kept in the dark on Ziva's case didn't help either.
Tony opened the file and read the latest entry. "Based on my knowledge and forensic evidence, Ziva David had in fact come to have the plague by interacting with a carrier. In this case, it would have to of entered through the blood stream meaning the carrier, Anthony DiNozzo, and the victim would of had some kind of contact for her to of gotten the plague. Most likely intercourse."
Tony didn't realize how long he had been standing there. All he could think of was what he just read.
He had caused this.
Him and his damn selfish wants.
If he had of respected her and stopped pushing once she told him no, then this all wouldn't have happened.
Suddenly that sad feeling he had in his heart turned to hatred, not for anyone but himself, and he had this numb feeling starting from his head all the way to his toes. He couldn't take it anymore; he sprinted out of her room, the room of the women he cared so much about, and right into the bathroom. Emptying out anything in his stomach.
It was his fault Ziva was in pain, after all he had told her, after years of keeping the dreams about Somalia away, keeping the monsters out of her head, and most of all protecting her, it ends up being his fault she gets hurt.
Maybe I should have been the one someone kept you away from. Maybe I'm the monster, Tony mumbled inwardly. No one could change his mind about that
